Squall should have stayed dead.

 Playing Final Fantasy VIII made me sick. Literally. I've been bedridden all weekend ever since I finished this game. Did it really give me the flu? Probably not, but it could have! Let's make this review quick before I get aftershocks remembering it!

What does Final Fantasy VIII do that sucks.

Pretty much everything.
The story is filled with plot holes and terrible twists. Amnesia? Check! Time Paradoxes? Check! More questions than before? Check!

Why was Laguna in space? Why was Adel in space? Why didn't we get a proper ending? All we did was keep the circle of Ultimecia spinning? Do you think she knows this has all happened before? When was the first time, and how did it start? I don't care...

I hate junctioning. Farming is tedious and boring, and it makes it so you can't use your strongest magic. I know you don't have to junction 100-300 of the best magic, but why wouldn't you? It's not hard (but it sure is boring).

The characters are either terrible or one dimensional. This whole story revolves around Squall and Rinoa. Everyone else is just there to force the two of them together. But why? Squall is toxic and pushes everyone away. Why are all these people trying to get them together? Squall is a terrible leader, which, in his defense, he doesn't want to be leader. Despite Quisitis getting fired for lacking leadership qualities, Squall is forced to be the leader. Why? Squall wasn't even friends with these people when they were at the orphanage. There is almost no connection between them!

I don't talk much about dungeon design, but VIII has the worst. Galbadia Prison is a series of circular floors that all look the same. Galbadia sewers is just before that, which makes it worse. Fortunately, every other dungeon is short and forgettable. Bland are the Salt Flats, Gardens, and towns. The Timer Train mission was kinda cool, though.

I think the music is the worst Uematsu's ever done? I'm not saying it's bad or awful, but everyone band has their low point, and this is his. The bangers are few are far between, and the rest is forgettable.


Any good?

I like the world. All the cities are connected in some way, but Dollet seems like it's forgotten once you return there. I love seeing all the trains travel across Galbadia, and the novelty of using cars (complete with gas and rental fees) was neat. But even then, Trabia is so underutilized. Seriously, there's another village up there, right? And the inclusion of other races, like the Shuumi and their weird evolution, was interesting.

...that's in.

Story: Terrible. The boring characters drag down the acceptable villains, but the downright awful garbage story ruins it. Could I give it a negative score? 4/10

Gameplay: card game. The card game is more fun than the actual combat. The best thing to do is spam basic attack, which is sooo much fun! Too bad there's that random rule to make it lose appeal. 6/10

Sound: Good enough. The sounds fit the locations and mood, and a few are even memorable. I may not love it, but I don't want to die on this hill. 10/10

Charm: Sure. The side quests are strange, but I find them oddly endearing. The world is among the best in the genre, and there are enough NPCs to fill it! 8/10

Negatives: plentiful. Drawing is painfully tedious, and Time Compression is stupidly confusing in every way, shape, and form. What's most damaging is that I feel like FFVIII doesn't want you to play it. Enemies level with you, so staying low is the best strategy. The quickest way to gain power is by playing Triple Triad, which has the random rule to kill all fun. But even if it didn't, I want an RPG! And doesn't even touch on the weird lack of QA in their physical realm! -11

Total Points: 27/50 - 6.7/10

I used to think FFVIII was a boring game. I still think that, but I now believe it's a bad game too. I'm torn between my favorite Final Fantasy game, but I also might spend time debating what's the worse. XII still has fewer points, but VIII has more reasons to make people despise it. Eight makes hate!