Death in Tight Pants!

"Yesterday, Mr. Vercetti, you alluded that you became a legitimate businessman?"

"I did, and this is now two days I've been straight! BJ Smith, the Mambas tight end, was looking to make a comeback to football and was selling off his other responsibilities. Except his workout program, of course. I picked up his car dealership. We spoke about the area and his alternative ideas for unloading the building. I'll have you know that I prevented a crime by doing this."

"What was he planning to do?"

"Do I look like a rat, Rosenberg?"

"So what did you do to put this in the green?"

"I sold cars: custom cars. Stuff you can't find anywhere else."

"And how did you procure these vehicles, sir?"

"My mechanics are top notch."

"Mr. Vercetti, I looked into crime stats during the first year you were in Vice City. If the timeframe works out like I think it does, violent crime plummeted during these weeks, but reports of carjackings skyrocketed. Is it safe to assume you're responsible for this?"

"Never assume, Your Honor."

"Good advice, so I'll just ask..."

"I am."

"Explain."

"No."

"What about the rumors of an illegal street racing syndicate being run from your garage?"

"That happened. I shut it down once I won everything, though. Racers in VC are two things. Bad but honorable. If they couldn't beat the best, they didn't want to race. And many kept dying by driving into the sea. The police didn't bother with speeding tickets, so I should have kept it up and earned some commission on races."

"While we're on the topic, did you do any other legitimate businesses?"

"I sold ice cream."

*a gasp of confusion emanates from everyone in the room*

"I bought Cherry Poppers Ice Cream manufacturing. And I even stopped more crime. The crazy old lady who used to run it hated kids. Because of that, she drugged the previous soft serve stuff. When I took over, I made it straight. I don't give a shit what the cops said. That was conventional, high quality ice cream. Inspect it! All this new income gave me leverage to buy up residential buildings around town, which I did. I felt screwed over, though, so I planned a new business venture. I wanted to get into the customs and trading business."

"More legitimate stuff?"

"As I am want to do! And I used it to examine what happened at the ambush. I still can't believe I put that off for so long. Now that I think about it. Let's grab fish for lunch. Ken's buying!"

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I'm up to fifty one percent. I feel like it should be higher, but there are a bunch of missions and collectibles still out there. I've barely done any insane stunts and none of the rampages. Here's hoping my computer doesn't break!