Silva Saga tells a story over three games and across two consoles. I decided to play the last game first because reasons....
But it was pretty fun anyway!
Welcome to the World of Minelvation! We're at the grand conclusion of it all, so of course, we're gonna play as the world renowned hero, Silva, right? No? We're a random dude with amnesia who was found shipwrecked but suddenly wants to seek out the grand hero? That's odd. So you're this dude, right, who wakes up and starts off on a journey to find Prince Kyral. He walks all over where Kyral was, meeting a lot of his friends. His girlfriend, in fact, is the first person to join him. There are also a few who are even more random than you! There are fifteen people who join your adventure for whatever reason. Some are told by another king, two girls use you as a bodyguard, a guard gets bored, etc. None of them feel important, which they're not; not even you do. They don't even get their own class or spell list. There are no character arcs or vital side quests. They're just here. Which is in line with the bosses. There's pretty much only one worth talking about, and he's a Dragon Quest BBG with a backstory. Ho hum. The plot is also lacking depth. But I still somehow liked it. I'm a sucker for sprite changes and weddings. (1-1-2) 4/10
The gameplay, though, is a lot of fun. Besides your ever changing cast of stupidly named people, you also have access to two other types of parties. You can buy your own brand of mercenaries to travel with you. Those four fight separately for you, so only call them when you want a break. I never used them at all. They were very expensive... I did make liberal use of the Idols, though! These statues function similarly to the mercs but only cast magic. Their HP, MP, and status are restored after every battle (unless they die), and they're free. It's a waste not to. You can also combine two of them to create something (probably) stronger. I have no idea the differences, and magic isn't hella diverse in Silva Saga, so I never noticed. Idols are effective, so I used them pretty regularly and held down the turbo button for their auto battle. Elsewhere, you can warp everywhere, including dungeons, which is gonna lead to bonus points in another review system. Either way, I had fun. There's zero difficulty if you're only using one or two parties, so this is probably what's called a 'junk food' game. 6/10
The music is solid. There are a few near bangers but only one I really want on a playlist. Castles feel regal, towns are peaceful walks, and dungeons are ominous. If the game were more well known, I might call it a measuring stick. I just liked it. 9/10
Artwork is a weird thing. As with my previous review, I think the world sprites are lacking. They're very NES premium. But enemy battle sprites are really flashy. Spell animations have their moments, too. What's weird, though, is how beautiful cities are. Buildings almost rival FFVI, and those shadows are really neat. If there were a few more tilesets, there might be a stronger rivalry. Dungeons look different, as well, but they're all still either caves or towers. I loved what they did with the overworld forests and how they actually hide you. 8/10
And Silva Saga has its moments of shine. The world calls out to each other, and there's plenty of NPCs. The rotating cast sees to that. You can inspect nearly everything in a house, and I should do a deeper dive into that. What happened to that mouse I kept finding? Because of the game's brisk pace and difficulty, it lasts the perfect amount of time. 7:10
Silva Saga II isn't super great, obviously. Maybe if I had played the other two games on the NES, which do have fan translations, these random characters might feel more impactful. There's something here. Or it's just a competently made game in a sea of garbage. Whatever. I just think it's neat and liked playing it. Never found out what a Silva was, though...
34/50
Thursday, June 25, 2026
Real quick...
Inindo: Way of the Ninja is a game that's so awful to experience that I'm surprised no one's tried suing it for assault. The visuals are horrible, but it's the soundtrack that hurts the most. The shamisen does not translate to SNES MIDI chips at all.
I have no idea about the plot, as I had to run across Japan for too long and got ambushed by another ninja. Turns out there's a big grind I didn't do.
14/50. Played it a week ago; only now got around to writing about it because it was horrifyingly unpleasant. Getting my wisdom tooth removed was more fun.
I have no idea about the plot, as I had to run across Japan for too long and got ambushed by another ninja. Turns out there's a big grind I didn't do.
14/50. Played it a week ago; only now got around to writing about it because it was horrifyingly unpleasant. Getting my wisdom tooth removed was more fun.
Sunday, June 21, 2026
This could have been something.
Shin Seikoku: La Wares is so niche I can’t find a translation for the title, and Google Translate just pumps out the same thing. I wonder if the developers didn’t think anyone would play it?
I say that because the actual content here is as barebones as can be. I’ve played RPGMaker games with more stuff to do. And what’s interesting is La Wares has two different battle modes! So let’s start there. Combat is a traditional turn based affair where your agility stat matters. Cool, looking good so far. And there are only three characters in your party, which is fine. In theory, this allows those three to shine. I’m a big fan of a small character list. The difference in La Wares is I’m not sure what the differences between those three are. If I really bothered to dig in, I’m sure I could find a Final Fantasy job they’d fit into, but I’m not gonna. All three learn the basic cure spells. Chiffon, the main character, is definitely physically focused, but Agura and Michelda feel the same. Hell, they can even equip all the same gear. I did get a kick that this tiny princess can use a halberd.
And then there’s the robot battles! Yep, it’s a gundam. A singular gundam, in fact. Only Chiffon gets to pilot a robot, and they’re awful. You can only attack or kick. What’s the difference, you ask? Why, it’s the same as a combination of an elephant and a rhino. It’s an ‘eleifIknow! There is no difference. Chiffon is also a terrible pilot because his accuracy is around thirty percent. And the GUI is equally bad. I think I figured out the right side/blue tubes are our HP, but what did the red side mean? To make matters worse, all but the first handful of bosses are done in the mecha suit, so those two mages following you around never get to show off. You don’t need magic in random battles; they’re just so easy.
So the battle system is boring, to the point I stopped halfway through. And I’ll put an emphasis on why in a moment, but what about what I care for the most: the story?
It’s actually pretty solid. I liked two of the characters. A good spunky princess is always nice, and Chiffon is …fine. Nothing negative. I also have no comment on Agura, as her twist is so obvious to anyone with eyes that it isn’t a twist. I wonder if this is based on a novel? The enemy group is, well…
They’re not around a lot. But then again, nothing is.
And the story is filled with melodrama and unanswered questions. What’s this foreign cult trying to assert itself on the playable continent? Probably the Eight Wheel we beat up through the game. But where was Chiffon actually born? His adoption is brought up and instantly dropped. And Agura’s other twist is so out of the blue I feel like I’m watching All My Circuits when Calculon was in a contract dispute. What a dark time for that show. But, oh boy, is it brisk!
Graphics are …interesting. I find the world sprites to be mediocre, but the battle sprites of the enemies are pretty solid. And the world looks alive and lived in, even if there are only two tile sets for towns. And there’s only one type of cave, but you venture into caves ALL THE TIME. Good looking forest, though. Backgrounds are also nice to look at.
Music was also perfectly fine. All fifteen tracks…
But enough beating around the bush, as the bush is already gone. There is no content in La Wares. You can beat the game in eight or nine hours, but half of that is grinding. The actual story comes at you at breakneck speed, and they run out of plot ways to pass the game. No side quests, no characterization scenes, no tangible world building; just grinding. You don’t need to grind for money or rare items; you just need EXP to get through boss walls. The actual common battle enemies die if you sneeze on them, but bosses are just bullet sponges with high evasion. And that’s why I’m over this.
Shin Seikoku: La Wares has a competent baseline for a game. But then they mess with the formula and never expand on that baseline. It’s Final Fantasy XII of 1993 or whatever. And the translation might be a tad too vulgar for me. But maybe I’m still secretly Mormon.
16/50
I say that because the actual content here is as barebones as can be. I’ve played RPGMaker games with more stuff to do. And what’s interesting is La Wares has two different battle modes! So let’s start there. Combat is a traditional turn based affair where your agility stat matters. Cool, looking good so far. And there are only three characters in your party, which is fine. In theory, this allows those three to shine. I’m a big fan of a small character list. The difference in La Wares is I’m not sure what the differences between those three are. If I really bothered to dig in, I’m sure I could find a Final Fantasy job they’d fit into, but I’m not gonna. All three learn the basic cure spells. Chiffon, the main character, is definitely physically focused, but Agura and Michelda feel the same. Hell, they can even equip all the same gear. I did get a kick that this tiny princess can use a halberd.
And then there’s the robot battles! Yep, it’s a gundam. A singular gundam, in fact. Only Chiffon gets to pilot a robot, and they’re awful. You can only attack or kick. What’s the difference, you ask? Why, it’s the same as a combination of an elephant and a rhino. It’s an ‘eleifIknow! There is no difference. Chiffon is also a terrible pilot because his accuracy is around thirty percent. And the GUI is equally bad. I think I figured out the right side/blue tubes are our HP, but what did the red side mean? To make matters worse, all but the first handful of bosses are done in the mecha suit, so those two mages following you around never get to show off. You don’t need magic in random battles; they’re just so easy.
So the battle system is boring, to the point I stopped halfway through. And I’ll put an emphasis on why in a moment, but what about what I care for the most: the story?
It’s actually pretty solid. I liked two of the characters. A good spunky princess is always nice, and Chiffon is …fine. Nothing negative. I also have no comment on Agura, as her twist is so obvious to anyone with eyes that it isn’t a twist. I wonder if this is based on a novel? The enemy group is, well…
They’re not around a lot. But then again, nothing is.
And the story is filled with melodrama and unanswered questions. What’s this foreign cult trying to assert itself on the playable continent? Probably the Eight Wheel we beat up through the game. But where was Chiffon actually born? His adoption is brought up and instantly dropped. And Agura’s other twist is so out of the blue I feel like I’m watching All My Circuits when Calculon was in a contract dispute. What a dark time for that show. But, oh boy, is it brisk!
Graphics are …interesting. I find the world sprites to be mediocre, but the battle sprites of the enemies are pretty solid. And the world looks alive and lived in, even if there are only two tile sets for towns. And there’s only one type of cave, but you venture into caves ALL THE TIME. Good looking forest, though. Backgrounds are also nice to look at.
Music was also perfectly fine. All fifteen tracks…
But enough beating around the bush, as the bush is already gone. There is no content in La Wares. You can beat the game in eight or nine hours, but half of that is grinding. The actual story comes at you at breakneck speed, and they run out of plot ways to pass the game. No side quests, no characterization scenes, no tangible world building; just grinding. You don’t need to grind for money or rare items; you just need EXP to get through boss walls. The actual common battle enemies die if you sneeze on them, but bosses are just bullet sponges with high evasion. And that’s why I’m over this.
Shin Seikoku: La Wares has a competent baseline for a game. But then they mess with the formula and never expand on that baseline. It’s Final Fantasy XII of 1993 or whatever. And the translation might be a tad too vulgar for me. But maybe I’m still secretly Mormon.
16/50
Thursday, June 18, 2026
Ys Mutation
So is cancer.
Lagoon is not a good game; everyone knows this, but I am a fool who has to play it anyway. Surely the sword can’t be that short, can it? It was! And it’s all downhill from there.
You play as Nasir. Why are you Nasir? No one knows. He’s the Hero of Light, but I hope Link bombchus him. He has to figure out why the lake is muddy, which involves an evil wizard or something. Probably. I only got to the third dungeon before tapping out.
Why was there an escort quest? Why did I need to backtrack so often!? Why are hit boxes so tiny!? Why are hurt boxes so large!? Why am I wielding a toothpick!? Why is the music so good?
You’d think, with how awful this game is to play, they’d have phoned in the soundtrack, but that’s the one proper thing Lagoon stole from Ys.
I don’t mind when games blatantly rip off other games. Oceanhorn was amazing because it was just Zelda. Mana Khemia was fun because FFX is goated. I dig me some classic Ys, which is wholly unique, and I welcome imitators. But they ruined everything that makes Ys Ys (except the soundtrack). There’s no neat characters to drive the story, waifus, or fast paced combat. It’s just awful.
And it didn’t need to be! You see, Lagoon on the SNES is a port from the X68000. And that’s a complete game with proper Ys combat and a story! Nasir is explained, Thor is more relevant, and there isn’t some random girl who kidnaps the princess. Why did they butcher this game when they already had a proper story that already worked? I’ve said enough already and asked too many questions. Moving on…
17/50
Lagoon is not a good game; everyone knows this, but I am a fool who has to play it anyway. Surely the sword can’t be that short, can it? It was! And it’s all downhill from there.
You play as Nasir. Why are you Nasir? No one knows. He’s the Hero of Light, but I hope Link bombchus him. He has to figure out why the lake is muddy, which involves an evil wizard or something. Probably. I only got to the third dungeon before tapping out.
Why was there an escort quest? Why did I need to backtrack so often!? Why are hit boxes so tiny!? Why are hurt boxes so large!? Why am I wielding a toothpick!? Why is the music so good?
You’d think, with how awful this game is to play, they’d have phoned in the soundtrack, but that’s the one proper thing Lagoon stole from Ys.
I don’t mind when games blatantly rip off other games. Oceanhorn was amazing because it was just Zelda. Mana Khemia was fun because FFX is goated. I dig me some classic Ys, which is wholly unique, and I welcome imitators. But they ruined everything that makes Ys Ys (except the soundtrack). There’s no neat characters to drive the story, waifus, or fast paced combat. It’s just awful.
And it didn’t need to be! You see, Lagoon on the SNES is a port from the X68000. And that’s a complete game with proper Ys combat and a story! Nasir is explained, Thor is more relevant, and there isn’t some random girl who kidnaps the princess. Why did they butcher this game when they already had a proper story that already worked? I’ve said enough already and asked too many questions. Moving on…
17/50
Sunday, June 14, 2026
Was this good?
In 1997, nearly a year after the phenomenon that they’re now known for, GameFreak released an RPG that combined Zelda II, A Link to the Past, and Mystery Dungeon on the Super Nintendo. It kinda sucked.
Or did it? I’ve logged about ten hours into Warrior: Legend of the Blue Dragon - The Two Heroes. I’ve sworn up and down, called it awful, wondered why it has three titles, and I’m putting it down partway into chapter two. But I’ve also said it was a lot of fun, declared it had some cool mechanics, and rode a high after figuring out the combat. So what’s up?
Let’s start by talking about how those three games combine into one. There is an overworld with grass you can cut, trees to chop, and obstacles you’ll need certain items to pass. Very Link to the Past. Combat, though, involves a separate screen that resembles an action platformer game, à la Zelda II. Dungeons also follow the same style. But it isn’t a free form hack and slasher either. Every encounter has a set number of turns. If you beat the turn par, you’re rewarded. Failing results in mild pain. “But what is a turn?” you ask. A turn is any action that you take. Attacking, calling your shield, shooting your shield, moving, ordering your flying cat/dog head to attack, “jumping,” performing a special attack, or just hitting L to pass is a turn. Standing there is fine, and the mobs won’t move or attack. It is, what I believe, a side scrolling Mystery Dungeon game. It’s not really a rogue like, as death is permanent, and you’ll have to load a save to return to the world. There are also elements of a first person dungeon crawler while in town, but it’s not a big deal. It’s a lot going on, but I feel like it’s all solid.
And the story is pretty deep. I don’t know how good other Mystery Dungeons are, but Legend of the Blue Dragon feels pretty good. You’re an orphan, and your sister gets kidnapped by a giant bird. Happy birthday! You, the son of a great warrior, now need to save her. You find a floating head that looks like a cat; it talks, and it says it used to be a girl before an evil sorcerer transformed her. You now proceed from town to town, saving all of them, as you hunt down that evil bird. There’s also the backdrop story that your god, Sister Mountain, got beaten by her brother, Brother Sea, because she wouldn’t share life with him. The world has been broken ever since. I liked the twists that I spoiled for myself, and the themes are kinda neat. It is thought provoking!
The game came out in 1997, six months after the Nintendo 64 was released. The SNES still had some life left in it, but it was on its last legs. This also makes it the newest game I’m playing for a while, beating out G.O.D. by two months. Had it been translated, it would not have been a major release in the States. But, because of the lateness, the game looks stunning. I’ve never seen so many detailed cutscenes on the SNES. Sprites are top notch, even if enemy and nameless NPCs all share about eight models…
Music is less good. There’s plenty of it, much of it variations on a theme, but nothing stuck with me. Considering I am a hater, this might be a good thing.
It’s a well put together experience, but why do I hate it? I think it’s the Mystery Dungeon aspects that bog it down. I can’t wrap my head around how every enemy works. Things also feel clunky for me. Jumping isn’t actually a jump. You hold on to Waku, your cat head, and she carries you for a few turns. You need to stop, hold up, and then “jump.” It’s not fast, and that throws me off. Enemy AI is also annoying because they’re smart and don’t act how I suspect they will. Sometimes this is fine, but when I’m taking damage because I’m out of turns, and those damn bees are running from me, I’m gonna get mad.
And then there’s the grind. Currency is called gems, and you find them when you cut the grass. They’re exceedingly rare, and you’ll need a lot of them. Potions are equally hard to find, so get ready to trade. But you’ll also need a few to buy liquor for a hermit. Thirty gems is about a quarter of all that I’ve found! I’m tapping out, and I’m gonna blame the alcohol. I’m against imbibing, you see.
And so, while the game is solid and well made, I think it sucks. It doesn’t, of course, it’s just not a game I like. If this sounds like something you’d love, I’m sure you will. I mean, even I found it fun when I went back to the tutorial areas with a better understanding of how it works. There’s something here. Maybe! I dunno. I may think it’s hot garbage, but it still somehow got 30 out of 50 points. That’s gotta mean something.
My next game is a game that’s universally derided, so I already miss Brain Lord. Hell, I already miss this…
Or did it? I’ve logged about ten hours into Warrior: Legend of the Blue Dragon - The Two Heroes. I’ve sworn up and down, called it awful, wondered why it has three titles, and I’m putting it down partway into chapter two. But I’ve also said it was a lot of fun, declared it had some cool mechanics, and rode a high after figuring out the combat. So what’s up?
Let’s start by talking about how those three games combine into one. There is an overworld with grass you can cut, trees to chop, and obstacles you’ll need certain items to pass. Very Link to the Past. Combat, though, involves a separate screen that resembles an action platformer game, à la Zelda II. Dungeons also follow the same style. But it isn’t a free form hack and slasher either. Every encounter has a set number of turns. If you beat the turn par, you’re rewarded. Failing results in mild pain. “But what is a turn?” you ask. A turn is any action that you take. Attacking, calling your shield, shooting your shield, moving, ordering your flying cat/dog head to attack, “jumping,” performing a special attack, or just hitting L to pass is a turn. Standing there is fine, and the mobs won’t move or attack. It is, what I believe, a side scrolling Mystery Dungeon game. It’s not really a rogue like, as death is permanent, and you’ll have to load a save to return to the world. There are also elements of a first person dungeon crawler while in town, but it’s not a big deal. It’s a lot going on, but I feel like it’s all solid.
And the story is pretty deep. I don’t know how good other Mystery Dungeons are, but Legend of the Blue Dragon feels pretty good. You’re an orphan, and your sister gets kidnapped by a giant bird. Happy birthday! You, the son of a great warrior, now need to save her. You find a floating head that looks like a cat; it talks, and it says it used to be a girl before an evil sorcerer transformed her. You now proceed from town to town, saving all of them, as you hunt down that evil bird. There’s also the backdrop story that your god, Sister Mountain, got beaten by her brother, Brother Sea, because she wouldn’t share life with him. The world has been broken ever since. I liked the twists that I spoiled for myself, and the themes are kinda neat. It is thought provoking!
The game came out in 1997, six months after the Nintendo 64 was released. The SNES still had some life left in it, but it was on its last legs. This also makes it the newest game I’m playing for a while, beating out G.O.D. by two months. Had it been translated, it would not have been a major release in the States. But, because of the lateness, the game looks stunning. I’ve never seen so many detailed cutscenes on the SNES. Sprites are top notch, even if enemy and nameless NPCs all share about eight models…
Music is less good. There’s plenty of it, much of it variations on a theme, but nothing stuck with me. Considering I am a hater, this might be a good thing.
It’s a well put together experience, but why do I hate it? I think it’s the Mystery Dungeon aspects that bog it down. I can’t wrap my head around how every enemy works. Things also feel clunky for me. Jumping isn’t actually a jump. You hold on to Waku, your cat head, and she carries you for a few turns. You need to stop, hold up, and then “jump.” It’s not fast, and that throws me off. Enemy AI is also annoying because they’re smart and don’t act how I suspect they will. Sometimes this is fine, but when I’m taking damage because I’m out of turns, and those damn bees are running from me, I’m gonna get mad.
And then there’s the grind. Currency is called gems, and you find them when you cut the grass. They’re exceedingly rare, and you’ll need a lot of them. Potions are equally hard to find, so get ready to trade. But you’ll also need a few to buy liquor for a hermit. Thirty gems is about a quarter of all that I’ve found! I’m tapping out, and I’m gonna blame the alcohol. I’m against imbibing, you see.
And so, while the game is solid and well made, I think it sucks. It doesn’t, of course, it’s just not a game I like. If this sounds like something you’d love, I’m sure you will. I mean, even I found it fun when I went back to the tutorial areas with a better understanding of how it works. There’s something here. Maybe! I dunno. I may think it’s hot garbage, but it still somehow got 30 out of 50 points. That’s gotta mean something.
My next game is a game that’s universally derided, so I already miss Brain Lord. Hell, I already miss this…
Tuesday, June 9, 2026
Finally! Something good.
It’s been eighty four years.
I’ve played a lot of mediocre to bad games the last few months, sometimes giving a commendation because they’re so unique. But I finally came around to one that I can honestly say is something fun. Oh, Brain Lord, how I needed you.
Now, Brain Lord isn’t gonna blow your mind or anything. The story is perfectly cromulent. You’re just a dude following in his dad’s footsteps of looking for dragons. Rad concept! Doing so brings you to the village of Arcs, where you help a bunch of nameless NPCs and accidentally become friends with four named characters. And these four make you feel like you’re in a party. You investigate four massive dungeons, discover a lost civilization (for some reason), fight off a lot of bugs, save the weather, help a faerie queen, and save the world from darkness. It’s all pretty standard. There’s a cool twist, and I liked helping my friend get married, so I’m big on this. Could it be expanded? Absolutely. But I’m desperate.
You play as Remeer, and this is when I remind everyone this is a part of the 7th Saga series. I’m not entirely sure how this is a series, but 7th Saga, Mystic Arc, and Brain Lord are all a part of it. Other than the name “Remeer,” there is no consistency, so whatever. Anyway, he’s mute and has zero personality. The same can be said for the final boss, and the one guy who gets named is short lived. It’s early 1994; I’ll take it.
Plot/ 7/10
Gameplay is another basic top down, hack and slash action RPG. The sword has a wide range, so the combat isn’t frustrating. You can also wield a battle axe, but that range is awful. You do nearly three times the damage, though, so maybe it’s worth it. You also get access to a bow and arrow and a boomerang, so there are a lot of options here for some fun. And to help expand that, the game gives you two fairies that sit on your shoulder. You choose what those two are, and they get stronger throughout the game. I went with a healer and a strength booster. It’s cool that you can even name the fairies. I had to rename the booster Lucy, because all Sarahs are evil. But writing this makes me realize I could have turned Remeer into a mobile turret. Boomerang with the fireball caster and the water shooter might have been fun. There’s also magic that only Remear gets, which you cast by holding down the attack to charge. So there’s no MP. I rarely used them outside of mandatory moments, but they could have helped the mobile turret build.
There’s also jumping, and you’re gonna need to jump a lot. It’s a tad annoying sometimes, but I found it fair. At the very least, it was fun. There are also a plethora of puzzles, most of which I liked. They made me feel smart, but maybe that’s because they’re super easy. I dunno? Tell me if you solved them as fast as I did. It’s mostly pushing things like rocks and several types of balls, but they’re a good aside from the combat.
Gameplay: 8/10
And the soundtrack is rad. Parts of it sound like they could be from Ys, and other songs are just good, chili times. I’m not sure they fit the medieval vibes we’re going for, and that techno song in the caves was definitely out of place, but it’s a great soundtrack. Maybe have a podcast on during dungeons. I don’t think they’re good enough to listen to for three hours.
Music: 9/10
The graphics are more of a standard affair. Everything works, but nothing looks amazing. Spells are simple pellets shooting through the air. The lack of animations might be the most damning, and it took me too long to memorize what the stairs looked like if they were on south walls. Maybe that’s just me and my terrible eyes, but I take contrasts very seriously.
Art: 8/10
Brain Lord has everything I want out of a video game. The four NPCs feel alive and make the game feel bigger. The world interacts (in the background) with itself, and unnamed NPCs even comment on what you’ve done to change the area. Exploration is so important, as that’s how you find stat growths. There are no levels, only hearts and potions. It’s a good fifteen hours that doesn’t overstay, filled with neat, tertiary things, like the ability to hack up a shop counter with the axe.
Charm: 9/10
There are a lot of moments of slowdown throughout the game, ball rooms most notably, but I don’t think there’s ever any in combat. And slowdown is dramatic, so I’ll let it slide!
In total, Brain Lord gets 40 out of 50 points. A damn fine B-. It doesn’t bring anything new to the table, but it doesn’t ruin what it was given. It’s the most genuine fun I’ve had since January, and the best reviewed game since Tengai Makyō Zero. I know I hated Mystic Arc, but the last game of this trilogy was so nice. It’s just fun for the sake of fun, and that’s always fun. Games like Shadowrun, Metal Max, and Cyber Knights were cool because of how unique they were on the SNES. But Brain Lord doesn’t need those caveats. It’s a good game. I’d love a remake that expands on the side characters and world, maybe adds some side quests or mini games, but this SNES game is perfectly good enough.
Or all the garbage I’ve been playing in has warped my mind to what a good game is…
I’ve played a lot of mediocre to bad games the last few months, sometimes giving a commendation because they’re so unique. But I finally came around to one that I can honestly say is something fun. Oh, Brain Lord, how I needed you.
Now, Brain Lord isn’t gonna blow your mind or anything. The story is perfectly cromulent. You’re just a dude following in his dad’s footsteps of looking for dragons. Rad concept! Doing so brings you to the village of Arcs, where you help a bunch of nameless NPCs and accidentally become friends with four named characters. And these four make you feel like you’re in a party. You investigate four massive dungeons, discover a lost civilization (for some reason), fight off a lot of bugs, save the weather, help a faerie queen, and save the world from darkness. It’s all pretty standard. There’s a cool twist, and I liked helping my friend get married, so I’m big on this. Could it be expanded? Absolutely. But I’m desperate.
You play as Remeer, and this is when I remind everyone this is a part of the 7th Saga series. I’m not entirely sure how this is a series, but 7th Saga, Mystic Arc, and Brain Lord are all a part of it. Other than the name “Remeer,” there is no consistency, so whatever. Anyway, he’s mute and has zero personality. The same can be said for the final boss, and the one guy who gets named is short lived. It’s early 1994; I’ll take it.
Plot/ 7/10
Gameplay is another basic top down, hack and slash action RPG. The sword has a wide range, so the combat isn’t frustrating. You can also wield a battle axe, but that range is awful. You do nearly three times the damage, though, so maybe it’s worth it. You also get access to a bow and arrow and a boomerang, so there are a lot of options here for some fun. And to help expand that, the game gives you two fairies that sit on your shoulder. You choose what those two are, and they get stronger throughout the game. I went with a healer and a strength booster. It’s cool that you can even name the fairies. I had to rename the booster Lucy, because all Sarahs are evil. But writing this makes me realize I could have turned Remeer into a mobile turret. Boomerang with the fireball caster and the water shooter might have been fun. There’s also magic that only Remear gets, which you cast by holding down the attack to charge. So there’s no MP. I rarely used them outside of mandatory moments, but they could have helped the mobile turret build.
There’s also jumping, and you’re gonna need to jump a lot. It’s a tad annoying sometimes, but I found it fair. At the very least, it was fun. There are also a plethora of puzzles, most of which I liked. They made me feel smart, but maybe that’s because they’re super easy. I dunno? Tell me if you solved them as fast as I did. It’s mostly pushing things like rocks and several types of balls, but they’re a good aside from the combat.
Gameplay: 8/10
And the soundtrack is rad. Parts of it sound like they could be from Ys, and other songs are just good, chili times. I’m not sure they fit the medieval vibes we’re going for, and that techno song in the caves was definitely out of place, but it’s a great soundtrack. Maybe have a podcast on during dungeons. I don’t think they’re good enough to listen to for three hours.
Music: 9/10
The graphics are more of a standard affair. Everything works, but nothing looks amazing. Spells are simple pellets shooting through the air. The lack of animations might be the most damning, and it took me too long to memorize what the stairs looked like if they were on south walls. Maybe that’s just me and my terrible eyes, but I take contrasts very seriously.
Art: 8/10
Brain Lord has everything I want out of a video game. The four NPCs feel alive and make the game feel bigger. The world interacts (in the background) with itself, and unnamed NPCs even comment on what you’ve done to change the area. Exploration is so important, as that’s how you find stat growths. There are no levels, only hearts and potions. It’s a good fifteen hours that doesn’t overstay, filled with neat, tertiary things, like the ability to hack up a shop counter with the axe.
Charm: 9/10
There are a lot of moments of slowdown throughout the game, ball rooms most notably, but I don’t think there’s ever any in combat. And slowdown is dramatic, so I’ll let it slide!
In total, Brain Lord gets 40 out of 50 points. A damn fine B-. It doesn’t bring anything new to the table, but it doesn’t ruin what it was given. It’s the most genuine fun I’ve had since January, and the best reviewed game since Tengai Makyō Zero. I know I hated Mystic Arc, but the last game of this trilogy was so nice. It’s just fun for the sake of fun, and that’s always fun. Games like Shadowrun, Metal Max, and Cyber Knights were cool because of how unique they were on the SNES. But Brain Lord doesn’t need those caveats. It’s a good game. I’d love a remake that expands on the side characters and world, maybe adds some side quests or mini games, but this SNES game is perfectly good enough.
Or all the garbage I’ve been playing in has warped my mind to what a good game is…
Tuesday, June 2, 2026
Return to the Realm of Darkness
Sure is dark.
Once upon a time, I played a beloved game, even by myself, and proceeded to poo-poo on it because it aged poorly. And I’m about to do it again!
Kingdom Hearts II is mid!
Before I begin, I’ll preface this by saying it’s much better than KH1. It’s actually playable! The world design is more fun by being shorter and more varied. The camera is …better. The lock on can still be detrimental, but they tried and got closer to best, so I won’t knock it again. Mob AI is actually fun to battle against. They’re more aggressive and don’t run away from you. You do fight the occasional basic (shadow?) heartless to remind you of how much Squaresney has grown, which is fine. It’s so much better, and I’ll spoil it now: KH2 only has one negative trait.
Graphically, it’s the same game as the predecessor. However, they changed up the chest models to fit in with the worlds, and my eyes are bad. I couldn’t see them most of the time because they blend in too well. Putting them on the mini map could have helped this, but they didn’t. Visuals are 9/10.
Sound is also the same. I might have taken out a point for standouts for a few reasons, but I didn’t for KH1, and I want to be consistent. It’s Disney; you know what you’re getting. Enjoy “Under Da Sea.” 10/10
You probably expected those numbers, but the charm is taking a massive hit here. While the worlds and NPCs are standouts in the genre, did we ever do any real exploring? Everything feels handed out once you’ve done the railroaded task. A lot of this is because the worlds aren’t as interactiveable. You can’t light up a chimney with fire magic, or vice versa, to reveal a secret passage. Casting thunder doesn’t turn on the power to an entire world anymore. Trinity Limits are gone. It’s just so flat. They’ve also taken away movement options, too. High jump is gone unless you activate a combat ability, and glide is as dead as dead can be. So not only is everything flat, but it’s less fun. Good thing the worlds are smaller to hide that.
Before I get to my obvious gripe, let’s talk about what KH2 does differently than KH1. The biggest is the command prompts. In battle, there are many mobs or bosses that let you use their skills against them. Rad concept! All you have to do is press triangle under the correct circumstances. Now, yes, you’ll more likely use an ally’s limit gauge (and all of your MP) instead, but at least you’re still doing a lot of damage with a cool cinematic. This does replace skills like Ars Arcanum, but who used those anyway? The other is the addition of a Drive Gauge. Using his allows Sora to “sacrifice” an ally to empower himself. This unlocks crazy new powers, abilities, and attacks on the unsuspecting foe. Alternatively, summons are back! I never used them, though. I liked my MP. But they seem quite cool, and I’ve read about a few broken strategies with them. Great additions. I also played on beginner mode, which I wouldn’t recommend. It’s insanely easy, and you never need to use those new things. I know, I’m a baby, but I’m here for the story. Speaking of…
It’s still so bad!
We learn who the actual bad guy in KH1 was, and it’s a solid answer to the final scenes there. But I still have so many questions. How did the Nobodies control the Heartless? What happened to Pete and Maleficent? Are the worlds actually connected or not? And, more importantly, what actually is Kingdom Hearts? It used to be a door to light that was infested with Heartless, but now it’s a heart shaped moon made of hearts. What even was this stupid moon supposed to be used for!? But, whatever. There’s a satisfying ending, and this two game franchise gets a great, heartfelt ending… What do you mean there are more games?! Why! Time travel!? At least tell me how Wakka is! 4/10
I hate this story. It doesn’t need to be this deep and filled with stupid turns. Not-sem doesn’t need to be a clone from a bald dude who’s copying Garland. Let it die, Nomura!
The second half of the game isn’t as fun, either. The bosses there have gimmicks, which I’m all for, but they were the opposite of fun. And the game requiring a finishing strike to end them didn’t help!
Kingdom Hearts II gets 36/50 points. It’s cool we can party with Auron, but why? And “why” is too frequent a question in this franchise. Cool world concepts, rad gameplay, nostalgic music, but why? Why do all this for so long with so many entries? A part of me wants to give Birth by Sleep a go, but no part of me wants to play KHIII. This world doesn’t need the fourth.
I needed a break from SNES games, and now I need a break from all games...
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