The boss of irrelevancy.

Straight shot. All killer, no thriller.

The six of us walked into Ultemecia's inordinately large castle. The moment they do, many of their powers become sealed. To free them, we'll need to defeat a boss. The first one is before us, just up the stairs. Obviously, the only plan here is to attack. Fortunately, junctions and passive abilities still work, so the team is still doing 7000 damage a go. My tactics for the other seven did not change. With Full-Life, Ultima, and Meltdown junctioned, we won't be in trouble. The only boss worth changing strategy for is the Red Giant. You'll need to use magic or inflict him with Vit 0 (Meltdown or Doomtrain). I got items first in case things went belly up for me. The best thing about UC is that you can draw eight GFs that you may have missed from earlier bosses. You can go after Ultemecia whenever you want, but I went all out. Solving a painting puzzle, a weight issue, and locking a chandler got me everywhere. I even found another Rosetta Stone to give Squall four abilities to junction! Sadly, I found Omega Weapon not worth the headache. I probably could have given it a better go, but what's the point? Three Stars?!?!?!

But, after walking through the architectural stupidity that is this castle, we finally reach a stupidly long bridge to the Master's Room. How does Ulty get her meals if the cook needs to walk across clock hands? Seems limiting. Squall warns us about the final point of no return, so reset Enc-None to something else. I went with Auto-Shell because there's a lot of magic coming up.

We'll enter the final room. Before us sits the Sorceress, Ultimecia, in her NSFW dress. To say her neckline is plunging would be to assume overalls with no bottoms is business casual. A part of me wants to see cosplay of her, but that's for another day. She's quick and to the pointless, and her villain speech is completely nondescript. She randomly picks three of us to "send to the darkness beyond time," and the final battles begin.

This is a four round battle.
In round one, we'll fight the wizard as she is. She casts magic that isn't strong. However, if she kills a character, like one not junctioned with anything, the dead character will disappear. They'll be replaced with another, meaning this was stolen from Final Fantasy VI. Maelstrom is worth watching out for, and she can cast Meltdown. I don't know if Vit 0 can be cured, but Bring Holy Waters if you want to use limit breaks. Draw/Cast Haste to use on any character you hope to keep around if you're not using Auto-Haste. Trying to use a GF will get it instantly murdered. You can get one out with good timing and full compatibility, but it's not worth it now. Try Doomtrain later if you're feeling lucky. If you're super unlucky, though, she can kill the caster instead of the GF.
Round two has her summoning "the strongest GF," Greiver! Yes, Squall's dumb ring is a girlfriend. Greiver has the bells and whistles Ulty does, but he also has the cheap trick of destroying our magic reserves. He didn't strike my Ultima or Full-Life, so I wasn't impacted. Before he dies, he's mandated to use one Shockwave Pulsar, which can be defended with Shell.
Round three is a fused form. It mostly gives me more questions about junctioning. All she did was summon Helixes to cast Holy on us. Don't let her call two, or else we'll be hit by Meteor. Scary. It'll fade away, but the battle won't be over. After twenty minutes of waiting around, we'll face the final round.
Round four: begin! We'll instantly be struck with Hell's Judgment, reducing the whole party's HP to one. This doomed her to be hit with Zell's Duel and Squall's Renzokuken. I tried to summon Doomtrain, but it died. I did keep Rinoa on Restore in case Ulty had another trick. She does, but I didn't see it. She'll ask us to recall our memories at the orphanage for some reason before we finally kill her.

She'll fade away again as we'll all be stuck on this rock. Suddenly, our party will be in a vast white void, encouraging each other to stay strong so we can go home. Everyone is a bit panicky, except for Rinoa. She knows where to go. But where's Squall? He's alone in a dark void. He breaks out of his shell and knows his friends will save him. He calls out to them, but there is only silence. Squall starts running but has nowhere to go.

Charlie Brown Squall runs past him, yelling he's going to find Sis. We're suddenly brought to Edea's Orphanage as it was just after Ellone left. Edea comes chasing after Chuck but is more curious about the current Squall. He reassures mom that Chuck will be fine. All of a sudden, Ultemecia appears behind us. Edea knows what's happening and calms down Squall. We're back in the past, seeing when Ulti possessed Edea. It's our fault mom turned evil because we killed the future lady. Squall encourages Edea to found SeeD because this plot keeps getting worse, even at the end. It's a time paradox story!!!

Squall is warped to a giant rock, and he runs around until he gives up. He tried to remember Rinoa, but her face stayed blurred. We see glimpses of his past actions until Squall's face is replaced by a black void. Squall dies. Rinoa, who has been looking for him, poofs into his dimension. Squall's dead, though, so she holds him. The sky opens up, and the planet explodes with flowers as we're taken to the final scenes.

Seifer is fishing, but he sucks at it. Raijin is pretty good, and Seifer gets mad. Fujin then kicks her friend into the water as Balamb Garden flies overhead.

Laguna is at the grave of Raine in Winhill until we flashback. We're in the same place, and we see Laguna and Raine get engaged. We cut back to the current Laguna with Ellone walking towards him. Kiros and Ward, in JPG form, are in the background. Balamb Garden flies overhead as rose petals fill the air.

The credits roll, but we see a party going on beside them. Selphie is recording everything, and we see Irvine hitting on Quistis. She doesn't care, so she goes to see Cid. He doesn't care, so he looks at Edea. Edea is in her Matron outfit now to drive the point that everything is good now. This is despite the fact that nothing has changed. Irvine takes the camera, and Selphie takes his hat. We pan to see Zell having a hotdog eating competition against himself while his girlfriend watches on in horror. He gets mad at us, I think, and everyone runs away. Finally, we see Rinoa looking at someone, but we don't get to know who it is yet.

The rest of the credits finish, and we return to Rinoa. She looks at a smiling Squall, and the scene ends. The game cuts to black, so we don't even get a proper "The End" with the Final Fantasy Prelude playing. It's unrewarding but fitting.

Game Over!