Love Fist Fury

Or why I didn't buy VRock!

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"That's not all we did. The first thing I did when I bought the Malibu was begin to plan for a big job. Ken Rosenberg, not this one, was waiting for me. He installed a minibar for some stupid reason, but at least he brought the whiteboard. His, uh, bad habits showed up, so let's pretend he wasn't there. The first part of this plan was to find a man who knows how to crack a safe."

"Is this when you broke into the Washington Beach police station to free Cam Jones?"

"It was."

"You killed a dozen officers. How did you escape this time?"

"Honestly, I don't know. Hell, I dropped Cam off at his house. How the hell did VCPD not check there and arrest him again?"

"They were underfunded and demoralized."

"The pricks sucked at their job. Just like you, Suxxx."

"The Vice City police of forty years ago aren't on trial here. Keep to the topic. Besides Cam and Ken, who else was on this team?"

"I didn't get their names. One was a hotshot sniper with a questionable connection to the arm forces. He challenged me to a shooting contest; I got forty five points. The last was a driver. His name was Hillary. I don't remember his last name, but he had more issues than anyone I've met. According to the shooter, he had abandonment issues from his mom. This gave him anxiety, and he wanted us to treat him bad. But he was a great driver. Mind you, I out raced him in an admiral against a sabre."

"When we finally got together, we robbed El Banko Corrupto Grande, the bank on main street in Little Havana."

"That was you? Eye witness reports said you called for someone named "Phil.""

"Working names; not real."

"Sure..."

It went smooth for a while, but I shouldn't have let one man guard the entire show floor. A civ hit the alarm, and we were swarmed by SWAT. We had their retirement, so it makes sense. But we shot our way out until Hillary tried to help us. He failed. In hindsight, I don't know why we brought him. I'm the better driver, and I lack any negative neurotic tendencies. But I guess the boys in blue got one."

"Once again, the police failed, and we got away. I had Rosenberg plan our celebration party, and he actually did a great job. His habits gave him an inflated sense of self worth, but party planning was his calling."

"We need to investigate the police after this. I don't understand how they were so bad."

"What was your next declaration of war, Mr. Vercetti?"

"I actually layer low for a moment. Ken invited someone who introduced me to Love Fist. I had no clue what any of those Scottish bisexuals were saying, but they hired me to run various jobs for them. I had to get them drugs and a special lady. I also ran security against a rabid fan."

"Didn't you go on another rampage?"

"I needed to make my way into a local biker gang. Love Fist needed security, and the bikers fit the mold. After a chopper race, me and the leader bonded over our distrust of authority. They were screwed over by the US in Nam, and my first family betrayed me."

"So you took a tank through downtown to please your grandpa?"

"Shut up, Suxxx, before I take a tank to your ass!"

"Thomas Vercetti! You will calm down before I take any chances of your freedom away. This is the third time you've tangled with the army; all were national headlines that embarrassed all of Florida. I can't believe you're alive, let alone not in jail. The failures of the police during the 80s continue to be a blight on all of us. All of this infuriates me, and I don't know how to handle it. I'm going to call this a day to cool off. Please tell me you get better?"

"Less cops, more gang wars."

Oh, god, why?

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I also finished Phil's quests and the last of the phone assignments. I'm gonna try to plow through the rampages and stunt jumps in the coming days, so don't expect an update this weekend.