Gang's all here.

Reminds me of milk.

Summers is a tourist town, but there's nothing here. It's boring. Go all the way to far east of the city. There's a man complaining that his wife has stopped doing what she loves: making magic cakes. Elsewhere in the area is a man who gives us the phone number of the local philosopher's society, Club Stoic. Pay a dollar at the hotel to make a reservation to the club. Go to the pretentious social club and talk to everyone to learn the magic cake lady is by the door. When we ask for her magic cake, she'll leave the club and return to her food cart near the beach. Talking to her now causes the world to break.

We're suddenly Poo, the prince of Dalaam. Things move quickly here because our not-Chinese friend has to find enlightenment! This involves us walking down the path in thinking town, taking the unique food from all the houses, paying no heed to the jet black rabbits, and climbing a rope! A man teleports away to do something I didn't understand, and Poo goes up. At the top, he sits down. An attendant from the castle starts to yell at him. Apparently, Poo's master wants him back. I returned to the castle, but I was told to return to the rock. The attendant came back, but I ignored him. A weirdly high resolution ghost face descended from the heavens. This is Poo's ancestor, and things get dark.

A mock battle begins, and our granddad tries to kill us. And we have to accept it. First he breaks our legs. Then he breaks our arms. He cuts off Poo's ears, which wouldn't actually make him deaf, by the way. Lastly, he takes the eyes before stealing the brain. What the hell was that!?!?

Poo wakes up, still on the rock, and the attendant comes back. Our master wants to see us for real this time. Master tells us about Ness and our fate before Poo magically gains five levels and learns Teleport B. He uses his new spell to appear before us, and our team is finally complete!

Earthbound now branches out. We can sleep at the hotel, and we'll get a call saying the museum in Fourside is open. We can also sail the seas to Scarabia by talking to the guy whose wife made us trip with her magic cakes. I went to Scarabia. I remember the dinosaurs stopped my last playthrough years ago, so let's experience some new stuff.

We get the first glimpse at what this planet looks like, and it's filled with ruins. But we can't explore them. Before we set off, we were warned about a Kraken in the seas. Guess what attacked us? Guess what posed no threat? All it did was cast a green light to remove PSI effects from everyone. Poo was still at level twenty and was useless, but I won in five turns. Some monster.

We arrive in Egypt, and we have to deal with sunstroke again. We even have to worry about it in the city. But look around and get new gear. If you didn't buy the diamond bands in Summers, they're cheaper here. When you're done, head south to the pyramids. The third one has a puzzle in front of it. I don't think you can figure it out now, so return to Summers. There's a museum there about Scarabia. We couldn't explore the top floor before, but Poo has a gem on him that we can use to finagle our way in. After defeating a mummy, we can inspect a nearby tablet. Most of it is plot, but the key to getting into the pyramid is at the bottom. Return to Scarabia, and let's talk about someone.

There's a rare mob that spawns just outside the gates. I only got it to show up when I returned from the pyramids. The Master Criminal Worm rewards 20000 exp to everyone, and you don't need to fight it. It's an autowin! I killed a handful of these guys before going down into the pyramid. By the end of tonight, Ness will be level fifty one. Besides this guy, there are two ufos, a scorpion, and a stronger booka.

To enter the pyramid, notice the five plates before the sphinx. The top one will get the cat to talk to us. From here, follow the numbers from the tablet. The guard let us take a picture of it, so inspect the item if you've forgotten. The numbers are in sequential order and not how many times to step on a plate. Make a star with the bottom left being the start.

The pyramid is the straightest dungeon I've ever experienced. It's one corridor that takes us up. And then it takes us down. At the bottom is a boss I didn't realize was a boss. It's a pink stone man who can only physically attack. Use magic because his defense is high. The other enemies here are based on hieroglyphics. One's a guardian cat, and the other is a snake. They're all black outlines and can be hard to see. Behind the pink golem is a room with a switch on the floor. It moves the sarcophagus at the top, which takes us to the legendary Hawk Eye. I don't know why it's legendary, but the sphinx told us we'd need it. The path out has us exiting across the river from the pyramid. Poo's master teleports in and takes Poo away to learn a move. We just got him! I know he sucks, but can't we get to know each other for a bit. This is dumb.

Anyway, a nearby NPC gives us a key to the new Dungeon Boy dungeon to the north. Use the key, and go left. There's a bench we can rest at, an ATM, doctor, and phone. Use the ATM to get money for Paula's new frying pan. We'll get through this Dungeon Master...

...tomorrow!

Like, Poo just showed up. I was still trying to get him leveled up. This is dumb!