Sacred Beasts

Let's finish up the forest part of the forest.

---

"Duren and I went down to the river to inspect the village. It looked even more majestic up close. As we were discussing the sights, it happened again. The whole town ran out to throw us in jail...

We eventually got our guard to tell us that I've been blamed for poisoning the river that the town relies on for food. I remembered meeting the leader of Selray, Ozma, and he was the one who told me about the Primal Lands on the giant pikkard, or what they called spardas. He even let me talk to them. And wouldn't you know it, Ozma paid us a visit. He was talking to everyone in town to let the three of us investigate the poisoning. Ozma, Duren, and I began to see if anyone knew anything.

It was scenes similar to Comodo: some trusted me, and others didn't. But we did discover that the event took place ten days ago, four days after the Comodo disappearances. The poison painted the entire river red, but no one died except the fish. A few fishermen got ill, but they've recovered. Not even the spardas were harmed. It has happened multiple times since, which is why no one's gone fishing. Lastly, it came from upriver, which village tradition dictates only Ozma can go to. And with everything we can know, Ozma suggested we get on a sparda and swim upriver. Duren couldn't handle the "thrashing," but I thought it was great! As we got to a certain point, the river turned red. And Ozma dropped some bombs.

Ozma knew I was innocent. A dirty secret he's been keeping is wild adult spardas spew poison when excited or scared. He's kept that secret because Ozma is the last person from a long line of animal husbandry practitioners. He's the last because his parents died trying to get more spardas, who live upriver in the Sacred Beasts Lair. Only a small group of select people can go there because their god instructed it. God taught them how to raise and tame wild spardas for their use in the roaring river. We returned to town and ventured into the Sacred Beasts Lair.

We entered and saw that the ruins were quickly falling apart. Years of dilapidation have allowed the water that flows over the structure to inundate, creating pools of water. But it turns out Ozma is well versed in destruction. His spear can make weak walls collapse, which can either empty the water or move it elsewhere, allowing us to swim across to higher ledges. The main part of the building is a tall pillar. To advance higher, we needed to drain three pools of water in side areas into the main room. It looked as though the staircases to the upper floors weren't meant to reach the bottom. Unless you had wings, how did the builders get up there?

Enemies inside were just lizard people. The pools had some fish inside, but there were a few electric plants that hung around at the bottom of a few places.

Once we filled up the first pool, we met a snake. Or should I say Vulnake!? Ozma made quick work of this guy, so I don't know what it did. But it did guard a strange relic called the Water Dragon's Scales. This allows us to breathe underwater and increases our swimming ability. We could now get deeper into the back of the Lair. To do so, we had to get up. We eventually were able to make a shortcut to the main hall, but the long way was the only way. After swimming through strong currents to break tiles, we reached a door with a similar lock as the Ancient Burrow. Duren found three broken slates through the dungeon, and placing them in the slot was just as easy.

Inside was a donut shaped room filled with water. A baby sparda swam up before something terrifying came behind it. It was a giant angler fish! We couldn't harm it, and being underwater gave it the movement advantage. We decided to kite it around the room because explosive things were also there. The fish head butted a few of them before running off. It made its own hole!

We went after it and saw the sparda again. Ozma noticed it was hurt, but we couldn't do anything because Angoraboras came back! We were on land this time, but I don't know if that helped us. The fish was largely immune to our attacks, and we could only harm the light dangling from its face. But it's very tall! In order for us to hurt it, he had to carefully dodge its worst attack: mastication. Yep. It tried to eat us. Duren called it the Gluttonous Tyrant. We managed to knock it down, and Ozma used his super move to defeat the angler once and for all.

We followed the wounded sparda to a back room, and Ozma healed it. But then the waters around us turned red? Four spardas way more massive than the ones in the village jumped out at us. Ozma revealed that taming spardas involves breaking a wild baby's horn and kidnapping it. Hmm... As the three of us prepared to break through the sacred beasts, the baby Ozam saved spoke up for us. Or, at least, I think it did. I don't speak sparda, but our would-be assailants left. As did the baby. And then a voice started laughing at us.

We were joined by Monster Tamer Gadis. He's the reason the spardas poisoned the water. Via vile methods he called "taming," he has been harming the beasts to listen to him. Ozma rebuked him, but Gadis may have a point in his rebuttal. Ozma mangles spardas to make them docile. How's that different than the pain Gadis was inflicting? Ozma tried to jump our new enemy, but Gadis uses an insect carapace as a weapon and easily shoved him away. Ozma wasn't strong enough to be a worthwhile kill, so he let us go. But I guess we saved the village?

We returned to Selray, and Ozma cleared my name. I tried to confront him about the secret nature and questionable methods of taming, but nothing happened. Ozma believed he should, but it'll have to come a different day.

As we left the village, Commander Leo and the Locals caught up. They're persistent! But they couldn't stay because a carrier pidgin and a soldier caught up. Something's happening in Casnan, and the commander needs to be there. If Sancho and Panzo didn't need the rest, they'd probably already be there. But Duren and I had a few odd jobs around Selray to do. I became a trader, which I excelled at, and we made some giant, violent spiders go extinct. Trust me, this is a good thing. We'll return to the city in the morning.

I wonder if Gadis and Bami are related?"

-Adol

---

Ozma isn't very fun to play. Tonight was way less exciting... But still pretty okay!

Insect Den

From a tall tree to a deep burrow...

---

"People were living on this tree. A bonafide village was built on the branches and stilts of the giant tree. And I had been here before.

Duren and I walked up to the gate of Comodo Village. We remarked on how odd this place looked until the guard showed up. And then he pointed a spear at us! Several others came down to surround us because I was a wanted man. What did I do here?

Just before Duren and I were put to the stake, a voice that sounded oddly familiar stopped them. We were saved by Karna, who knew who I was. She vouched for me being a good hand. It bought Duren and me some time, but we were thrown into a makeshift jail for the night. Duren asked Karna why everyone hated me, but she insisted on speaking to her father, the village chief.

Later that night, Karna and her dad, Asad, finally spoke to us. The gist of the conversation was:
I have been here. I showed up two weeks ago.
Shortly after, people started vanishing from the village.
Everyone blamed me because I was the first outsider to visit Comodo in known history. I can see where they're coming from.
Fortunately, Karna believed I was innocent, and Asad trusted his daughter.
The rest of the villagers are patrolling the town through the night, which means Duren and I had to stay here.

But not for long. Shortly after they left, Duren suggested we sneak around in the hope of something triggering my memories. And so we escaped. Karna's makeshift handcuffs were no match for my information dealer. We snuck around the guards and climbed to the top. The view reminded me of everything.

The first time I was here, I met a man named Rennos, Karna's twin brother. Despite being a man in Comodo, Remnos was more interested in music and crafting. The village was shocked that I existed, and many wanted nothing to do with me. Remnios and Karna were curious, though, so they convinced their dad to let me visit. The two of them gave me a tour, and I learned Comodo is a typical village outside the forest. Men hunt, women cook, and there are even a few shops and a meeting hall. Remnos' crafting master also lived here. The twins clearly love each other, but they're total opposites. You know who Remnos is, but Karna is a fierce huntress. In fact, I only learned of the village because she attacked me. She thought I was a beast and threw her knife at me, but I deflected it with my sword. This entire thing was an apology. I spent the night in Comodo and enjoyed a good feast. I left pretty early; when Karna and the others were hunting. Remnos saw me off, but I remembered that he saw a strange figure behind me as I left. I didn't know what he meant, but maybe that figure is why the villagers have been "spirited away"?

Karna quickly realized we weren't in jail anymore but found us at the top. Everything was calming down, and even Asad showed up. But then we heard fighting. The locals descended the tree, and we watched on as per instructions. The two quickly came up on a group of masked, barely clothed people. Apparently, these two were a part of the group who were spirited away. A third masked man showed up, who easily bested Asad. If Asad is the strongest in the village, who's this guy? Duren and I decided we'd seen enough and went to help. We chased off the group while Karna tended to her dad.

He woke up momentarily later on and tried to tell us something. He passed out before he could, though. Karna stayed with her dad while us outsiders went to look for information. We found a potential hiding spot for the group: the Ancient Burrow.

We were about to investigate when Karna joined us. She's ready. The second strongest hunter in the village throws knives and hits those insects Duren and I had trouble connecting with. And we saw plenty of them as we walked around the crater. We got to the bottom and entered the bug nest. It's filled with various insects, so it's kinda scary. And there's something that'll make it worse soon. But as we entered, our ambush got ambushed. Four masked warriors mindlessly attacked us. We managed to fend them off, and the power of the masks wore off. I thought about taking them back to the village, but I was overruled.

Fighting past everything brought us to various bug cocoons. Karna could cut them down to make a bridge. We eventually found something larger than us: Melldrabie. Mell is a large mosquito. Karna knows how to throw fire from her hands, and it made short work of the creature. It guarded an ancient relic called a Dwarfs Bracelet. It has the power to shrink us, allowing us to fit into smaller holes throughout the burrow. This made us the same size as the bugs, so were face to face with the spiders. Terrifying! After crossing the mini caverns, we found a large, locked door. In various locations down here, we've found three slates. The door before us could only be opened if we put the three pieces into the slot. Once we opened it, we heard harp music. Remnos is here?

He was the masked man who hurt Asad. But I thought he was weak. Karna tried to speak to him, but he remained silent. Until he summoned a snail!

Glucarious is protected by a hard shell, meaning we could only harm the legs at the side. Karna carried us again while we held aggro. Its primary attacks were spinning around and then rolling at us.

Once we beat it, though, we were joined by the real culprit of the missing villagers. The Magician Bami is a woman who can control people. And she doesn't need the mask. She told us the masks were for a different experiment, and she uses the darkness in people's hearts to control them. She proved this by removing the mask Remnos wore and then had him attack his sister. Remnos isn't a bad warrior. He's just been pretending. I asked if she were outside the forest, which she was. Bami and Remnos teleported away, and we returned to Comodo.

Asad was awake, and we relayed what we learned from him. It turns out he had a feeling Remnos was a great fighter. Bami told us Remnos hid his skill to protect Karna. He worried about what his sister would think if she weren't the heir to the village. It seemed insignificant to me, but what do I know about the customs here? Either way, it was time for Duren and I to leave. Karna told us I went to the village on the river next, so that's where we'll go. Before leaving, we helped around town, and I beat up Duren in a fight. Two women asked us to do it...

We had to pass through the Misty Peak, and we saw two other people mapping the forest here. They were arguing about how to get out of this area. It felt like the Labyrinth from the day before. The man suggested going down whenever possible, which was correct. We found another Life Tree Sprout overlooking the village. It was quite picturesque! We set up camp, and I had a dream that night. A man and I were on a giant pikkard in the middle of the river. He told me about the Primal Lands across the river. We'll see what my previous adventures did in the morning."

-Abel.

---

Didn't expect to write so much, but here we are! The bosses tonight were a lot of fun! I kinda wish I wasn't playing on easy, so I might delve into boss rush mode soon! Play as Karna!

The Adventure Begins!

Let's just explore!

---

"Durren and I went into the Forest of Dawn today. It's inhabited by monkeys, the cobonga! The smaller ones could be beaten in a few hits, and I suggest you do so. They'll throw rocks at you if you try to run away. But they're not alone in these woods. They're protected by a fifteen foot tall gorilla, bozuonga. It laughed at our pathetic attempts to harm it. There are several small lakes in the forest, and merfolk roam around them. They are very aggressive. They're often alongside the fish species that float, the orogilian. Throughout is an insect called asarkos. They shrug off swords, but Durren's punches got through well enough. Deeper in are a handful of plants. One is the canolen that spits poison and pollen that can paralyze into the air. Use hit-and-run tactics against them. There's also the worm like fauna called the bozowalla. There's a third section of the forest we experienced tonight near a stream. Monsters there were the blue crystalline creatures, gazapo. Durren said they were crabs, and I'll trust him since I tried to stay away. I went for the floura, the blooming plants.

There were two odd places hidden in the woods. The first we found was what we called the Waterfall Cave because of the raging waterfall in the back of it. I wonder if this is the mouth of the stream? There was also the Sunlit Ruins. This was a man made structure that was built long ago. By who? When? Are they related to the statue in the mines?

While exploring, several things jogged my memory. Many were from when I was a child. I recalled when I first met a traveler in my small village. He was a storyteller, and I was so curious about his adventures. I had never thought about a world outside of my hometown. He told me about the ocean. Sometime later, I went on my first adventure, but it didn't last long. I got around a mountain before it started raining and got scared. Fortunately, my dad quickly found me. He said I took after him too much... A few years later, at sixteen, I left on the journey I'm currently on. My dad told me that I'd always have a home there and to write letters home. I wonder if I've been doing that. My mom died when I was young, so I'm even getting my bad memories back... But that's not all. The first time I entered this forest, I met a bard. The harpist told me a kingdom once stood in the forest 800 years ago. I gotta find out what happened.

Durren and I came to a stream, but there was no way to cross it. There was a bridge on the otherside but no way to drop it from here. So we had to find a scenic route. It took us through the Forest Labyrinth. We weren't the first group here. Commander Leo and the local conscripts, Sancho and Panza, were here. They ran ahead of us yesterday to map the forest, but the locals weren't thrilled. Leo, on the other hand, had enough vim and vigor for the entire city. But now they were lost. The Forest Labyrinth is a place that seems to warp people around randomly. The trick to leaving was to follow the plants. Durren and I found another Life Tree sprout on the otherside, and I had a dream from my past. All I can remember is I was in a strange laboratory but couldn't figure out the meaning of any of the books.

We set out in the morning and kept exploring the forest. We discovered a shortcut back to town. Pass that is a hole in the ground. Durren said it looked like a crater, but it was filled with more trees. The mobs were stronger than the forest and contained bugs neither of us could wrangle and that beast from the bounty board two days before. But there was also a giant tree to the northeast. Durren and I returned to Casnan for the night but will investigate this tomorrow. Griselda was glad to see our progress and rewarded us with 9000 gold. I would have waited longer, but we can't let Leo get anything. We can see the tree from town, so I'm excited."

-Adol

---

No headache today! There was a lot of exploration tonight, which is the name of the game. Also, why didn't  NG+ trigger?

Adol and I forgot...

I bought Ys IV: Memories of Celceta almost four years ago to the day. I played it once, and all I remember about it is that it screwed me out of two achievements. Apparently, I missed a chest and a resource point somewhere, but I've turned this damn forest inside out multiple times looking for them. I assume it's a bug. But I also remember enjoying it. Having multiple characters to play with, each with a slightly different playstyle, really expanded the Ys formula. I think VII did it first, though, so I'm looking forward to replaying that one. But MoC is the lowest rated Ys game on my board. Is that correct? Let's see. And let's try to write this one like our lad would.

---

"I have been here before. But when? All I recall is stumbling into the city of Casnan. I heard some minors talking about gold and two locals talking about the Romun Empire only recently caring about the region. It's amazing what gold can do. The new Governor-general walked past them, but I was more interested in getting out of the rain. Someone knocked into me, so I spent some time in the mud.

Fortunately, the innkeeper, Peach, was inside her business. She brought me in and offered me room and board. And then someone who knew me came in.

He called me "Adol" and said his name was Durren. Durren knew who I was and why I was here. He said I went into the forest north of town to go on an adventure. Sadly, he doesn't know why I went or why I'm back. Before he could tell me anything else, a commotion from the mine rocked the town. Monsters started to appear, and some of the workers were trapped. Durren joined everyone to see the ruckus, but I took my time. Something kept telling me to join everyone.

As I arrived, one of the miners escaped. But he said there were three more left inside. The Governor-general sent two locally conscripted soldiers into the cave. And then something came back to me. It was three voices, and they spoke of my swordsmanship. Am I a warrior? I don't know what compelled me, but I ran into the mine to save everyone. Durren quickly caught up to me, and it's a good thing he did. I didn't bring a weapon in... Durren joined me to make sure I didn't die and to instruct me on combatant mechanics.

The monsters down here are rats, jellies, and a hard shelled insect. Durren's punches worked better on the bugs, but swinging the sword came natural to me. About halfway through, we found the two soldiers G-g sent in. They were wounded, apparently, and cornered by a large rat. We saved them, and they went back out. But we continued on. There was a locked gate on the otherside of a lake, but the key was in a nearby chest. Durren had to pick the lock to open the chest, but we could go deeper. And then we found the baddie in charge.

Aldovoss is a large rocklike creature. Its hands were immune to damage, but the face on its body wasn't. I'm pretty good at dodging.

With him dead, the three miners were safe to escape. Behind them, though, was a statue of an angel. It looked familiar, but I couldn't tell if it was male or female. Either way, it gave us something. A wing? It allowed us to teleport through the cave via the monuments. What is Celceta?

The Governor-general and everyone were excited when we left the cave. With a backing band, she introduced herself as Griselda and wished to thank us in her office. It was there that she asked us to map the Forest of Celceta. It's a wild, untamed area where people always get lost in. Many never return, but it's believed there are vast veins of gold inside it. And it seems I've already been in, so... I turned her down. Later that night, Durren convinced me to change my mind, so we joined the expedition the next morning. The allure of thirty million gold was too much.

After that, Durren showed me around town to the shops and the bounty board. I made sure I could fight by dealing with a rampaging bull, but then I milked a wild cow.

Durren and I found an area with no monsters because a Life Tree Sprout was nearby. We set up camp and slept for the night. I had a dream about a massive tower in a storm. Was that a memory? Either way, we're venturing into the forest now..."

-Adol

---

In a game about gaining memories, I need to remember the plot! That is, assuming I can play it. I have a massive headache, and it might be the game's fault. It played at a smooth 30 fps and looked good, so I don't know. If I can't, expect a sudden shift to 1993.

A journey 27 years in the making.

I don't know if it was worth it, but I'm glad I took it.

It's taken a number of tries across a number of reasons over nearly thirty years. But I have finally finished an early gateway game for me. Earthbound is an experience that enthralled me when I was learning to read. Despite playing it on a muted, black-and-white TV, I wanted to see where it went. It became something that would always be there, sitting in the back of my mind. And now the ghost from my past can rest.

Earthbound is gonna be a hard game to review. Some of its negatives give the game its charm and, thirty years on, totally unique features. I may have disliked them, but what would the game be without them?

And so, since we're here, what sucks?
Inventory limits are garbage! Each character gets fourteen spaces, but four of them will be equipment. Many more will be key items or stuff you shouldn't (or can't) drop. You'll need the ATM Card, map, and phone for the whole game. Ness instantly loses eight of his slots. Jeff's assortment of broken parts and rockets take up a similar, if not more, amount of space. Food, Poo's special food, and items of unknown value will take up more space. I had the Pencil Eraser for far too long because I didn't know if I'd need it. The seemingly random nature of Earthbound always kept me wondering. There is no devil's advocate role for this.

The way we have to take out money from the ATM is a bit tedious. Early on, it's not a big deal since ATMs are always near a shop. But this stops being the case later on, and some ATMs even have insane fees. It's an extra trip. On the flip side, it's a way for our dad to be in our life. I don't know why, but I really liked being told that he's deposited money into our account. I don't know if it's the act of seeing the amount of money I've made or the interactions with my dad.

And that's kinda it. Spoiler for my final thoughts, but none of my categories got a perfect score. But none of them are duds that tanked them. So let's get down to the good stuff!

It took a while, and it still wasn't perfect, but the story is charming. It's mildly nonsensical with its sense of randomness and "and then" series of storytelling, but when there's something to dig your teeth into, it's crazy. A part of me wants to play Mother 1 to get a better understanding of Giygas and who he is. Ness is a boy of few words, but when his thoughts are shown to us, he's a rather deep kid. He'll somehow get a perfect score. The others are fun, and even the side characters have personalities and growth.

I don't like the kaleidoscope backgrounds of fights, but the amount of sprites is wonderful. Spell animations work well enough, even if they're a bit derivative. And the detail on them and everything else. There's nothing graphicly exciting here, but it's so unique to Earthbound. And it's so cozy.

The same can be said for the music. Nothing stuck out to me, but the game, just like the art, has a feel to it that nothing else has. I can't even think of anything that's tried to imitate it. With only a few notes, you'll instantly know if a song is from Earthbound.

More unique aspects are the HP/PP odometer. Nothing happens instantly in Earthbound, and it gives a sense of strategy you don't see. Ever. Not in Final Fantasy, Dragon Quest, or Persona. And, seriously, why aren't there more instant win conditions in the genre? Honestly, these are so cool that they might counteract the negatives.

---

Plot: nonsensical fun. It's filled with random goofiness that confuses me in ways I somehow think are good. But there's the occasional dark thought that creeps in to tell you life isn't sunshine and rainbows. More on that later, but I wish plot transitions made more sense. The characters are also great! 7/10

Gameplay: nothing else like it. It's been thirty years. Why hasn't anyone stolen ideas from Earthbound? I do wish there were some side stuff to do. Not a single minigame... 8/10

Sound: wonderfully confusing. There's something Ne Obliviscarus and Earthbound have in common: I don't understand how anyone can come up with this stuff. It's so wild and out there that it's worth experiencing just for that. There are no earworms, but every song just screams "Earthbound." 9/10

Art: see above. A hundred sprites, dozens of assets, and so many things to see. I feel like I missed a lot? 8/10

Charm: cozy. The interconnection of the world, the amazing NPCs, and the cute nonsense are golden standards in the genre. It's been thirty years! Why hasn't anyone stolen ideas from here!? 8/10

Earthbound is a game that makes me feel things I didn't know I still could. I suspect most people will experience the game as a mostly traditional, Dragon Quest inspired, coming-of-age story. But I'll remember Earthbound as a game filled with the power of friendship and family. The way Ness' parents support their son is my favorite thing. Ness can get homesick, but a simple phone call home can treat him. I've never been homesick, but I have been sick of home. It's a story of family. There are also some deep and personal experiences that can get really dark. Poo's ancestors breaking his body during his training, Brick Road, and Giygas' words to Ness are all kinda disturbing. What would seven-year-old me think about these things? He was pretty dumb, so maybe he'd just blow it off? Either way, if you take away the negatives and add the positives (not in that order), then Earthbound is a great 36/50.

I understand why I was fascinated with this. I get the cult following this franchise has. But I don't know if it's for me. Despite that, I think it's a must play. It's just such a unique and cozy thing that's impossible to explain to anyone who hasn't gone through it.

Assuming the old cheese I ate won't kill me, let's go to Celceta on Monday.

Press A to Pray

Preparations are done. Let's kill a universe devouring entity!


We warped back to Saturn Valley and spoke to Jeff's dad a few times. A part of that is my fault. We climb into the Saturn shaped machine and are warped far away. We're taken to the Cave to the Past. We could have visited this place before Fire Springs, but we'd have been stranded on an island across from where we are now. And since there's not much here anyway, why visit? Walk the path, and Poo's master will teleport in. He magically teaches Poo Starstrike Omega before leaving again. Further down the trail is the Mr. Saturn Porky kidnapped. Keep following the path to reach a dead end. Turn around, and a third Phase Distorter warps in. Out comes Dr. Andonuts, Apple Kid, and the genius Mr. Saturn. They have come with some bad news.

Giygas is attacking the universe from this location, but he's doing so from elsewhere in history. The third Phase Distorter can take us back in time, but our physical bodies can't go. Something, something, "science," something, something. However, the doctor can place our spirits into a robot that can! We can turn down this turn of events, but I don't know what would've happened. So agree, and a scene plays out where our bodies die. We awaken in identical robot bodies. Ness has his cap on. We enter the Phase Distorter and travel to when this area was connected and grey.

There are a few mobs on the way. Two types of starmen and a robot that explodes on death. By now, though, the exp is pretty terrible. Somewhere down here are bionic krakens who can drop Ness' best bat. I didn't even see them, not that I was going to grind anyway. The team will reach a cave, and it takes us to a strange sight.

Giygas' body is a bunch of tubes or vessels. It's disturbing. As we reach the top, the eye opens up, and we see an image of Ness. Porky, located in a mechanical spider suit, appears. He disregards the prophecy of the Apple of Enlightenment, an item I completely skimmed, and talks up Giygas, the new embodiment of evil! And with that...

The final battle (pt 1) begins! Don't use magic on Giygas, or his shield will reflect 100% of the damage back at the caster. Focus on Porky, who lacks any such defenses. Porky lasted three turns and didn't do anything. Once he's down, he'll stop the Devil Machine. Apparently, this part kept Giygas "human." Porky starts to insult his boss now, which is interesting. But with Devil Machine gone, he's now a mindless entity.

Porky is gone, as is Giggy's shield. Go all out now! I'd describe our opponents' attack, but it's something "we can't comprehend." It can do negligible damage to everyone, heavy damage to everyone, thunder, or make us cry. Occasionally, it can be an insta kill. After a few rounds, the red waves of Goygas turn into a deeper red, and we enter the final phase.

Keep Paula alive. I don't know if damaging Giygas means anything, but Paula is the only one who can truly harm him. Have her Pray every round. Her prays call out to our friends. The power of friendship is what will kill the beast! But between these, Giygas speaks to us. He calls out to Ness and says that he's in pain and is sad. But sometimes he's happy? Occasionally, he'll demand we go back. I wonder what I would have thought about it when I was six. After Paula calls out to Saturn Valley, the Runaway Five, Jeff's classmates, Franky, and Ness' family, her pray will "be absorbed by the darkness." Don't be discouraged, and do it once more. This time the player will pray. And it is we who have the biggest effect. Our prayers attack him three times, and the final one does 30000 damage. Giygas will slowly disappear, and we will have won.

Our robot bodies are dead before Giugias' tube cave. Lights come out of them and travel to Saturn Valley to return to our human bodies. The doctor congratulates us, and our team goes their separate ways. Poo shows off a new psi spell, PSI Farewell. He turns into smoke, returns to Dalaam, and three presents fall from the sky.
Jeff accepts his dad and plans to hang out here.
Paula asks us to escort her home. Pick up the presents; they're letters from friends and family (Tony, mom, and the kindergartners). From here, we can teleport around the world to get a finality to some of our escapades. But I'll save that for you (and because I didn't do many).
Take Paula home, and let her dad think you two are dating. How cute.
Return home and talk to mom. Call dad while you're there. And then the rest of your family. Mom asks if you're ready to relax, and she'll whip out the picture book that you've slowly been adding to this whole time.

We're reminded of all the people we've met and even the random NPCs. There are definitely a lot of them! The credits will roll, but there's an epilogue.

In the middle of the night, a loud and annoying knocking is heard at the door. We have to answer it, but someone busts in before we can. It's Picky! He has a letter from Porky. The Porkster is calling us out for a later date...

"The End...?"

To Where it Began

What a weird way to get back there.

North around the mountains is a temba village. They think the dinosaurs are caged in while they're the free ones. But their town looks pretty circular to me. Try to find the merchant because he has Paula's best weapon. There's also a talking rock here, and he's kinda important. He tells us we have a fate, and that's to stop Gygas. He also tells us where all the Your Sanctuary locations are, including the last one. Fire Springs is to the southwest. But take a long detour east of there because Poo's body armor is nearby.

Fire Springs is a lava cavern. We'll have to navigate a series of caves and ropes to climb up. Stick to the bottom first because the Cherub Band is all the way to the right. The enemies are nothing to worry about now. At the top is a not good boy.

Carbon Dog is on fire, but be wary of using Freeze. CD has a shield that either negates or reflects. I don't remember which. So just spam physical attacks. But be ready for a twist. It's Diamond Dog. They appear when Carbon has broken. I found it to be the same fight, except you should use spells instead of bashes. Diamond has twice the health, so this segment will take some time. Fill Ness' inventory up with PP restoring items and the Franklin Badge. If you got the Sea Pendent in Lost Underworld, equip that. Behind the dogs is a geyser of lava, and Ness sees himself looking down at himself... The Sound Stone plays out all the sounds of the Sanctuary Location. It kinda sounds terrible.

Ness is suddenly taken to a black-and-white location. He walks up to an empty house, and even his form isn't around. We hear the door open and see the room pan sideways as a small dog runs around. The stairs make a noise as something uses them, and the camera pans again across the upstairs hallway in the house. The door to Ness' room triggers, but there's a rocking baby cradle here. We hear voices talking about baby Ness in his oversized hat. The two voices discuss how they want Ness to be when he's grown up before his bottle suddenly moves. The room fades away as Ness reappears in a grossly colored world.

Magicant is Ness' mind world. Does everyone with PK powers have one or only chosen ones? It's filled with a lot of people Ness has met on this journey, minus his friends, so he's here alone. His family is to the right, but there's no dad phone. Every time you speak to someone the world changes color to another clashing scheme. Walk around the land and talk to everyone for clues to Ness' past. He had a lot of friends before he set out on this journey. There's a shop somewhere that sells Earth Charms and magic pudding. The charm is a half decent Sea Charm, and the pudding is a PP restorative if you didn't bring any. If you come to a hut filled with flying men, a symbol of Ness' courage, then you're about to enter a dungeon. Bring a man among for the funsies. As you step across the threshold, the music changes and mobs can be seen.

Enemies now come at you, and some can be tricky. The scariest are the electro swooshes. Or they would be if you didn't have the Franklin Badge. The loaded dice can summon friends. The carefree bomb shows up with molecules, but I didn't notice anything too bad. Look out for a few presents in here. One is Ness' second best bat, the Magicant Bat, and the other is the Goddess Band, the best armband. There's also another you that can return your favorite hat if you lost/sold it. You monster. You'll reach a spiral that takes you to a stick. This stick teleports you to the Sea of Eden. It's a lake that contains three krakens and the personification of Ness' nightmares.

The Mani-mani statue is before us. It uses all of Ness' spells, including PSI Lucy Omega. It also uses an instant death attack, but the Earth Pendent worked well enough for me. I managed to get Flying Man into the battle, but he didn't last. You're going to need to make use of the ticking HP meter here. Nightmare can remove all of Ness' HP with Lucy O, so you'll need to heal before your HP drops to 0. I had over 600 HP, so there's plenty of time. Nightmare can also use shields to reflect damage back at you, so you're gonna have to juggle taking damage, giving damage, countering damage, and healing to survive this. It's finally a tough opponent for the first time since day one. Hence the need for PP items. But I won... Defeating your darkness rewards an extra 200000 exp, and Ness levels up. Unlike the usual stat ups, Ness gets 175 HP and 300 PP. The power of the Sanctuary also provides more power, and Ness' stats grow in various areas by five.

Ness' voice speaks again and tells him to go to Saturn Valley. Something is there that'll help us reach Gygas. All the Your Sanctuary locations flash on screen before Ness wakes up, back in Fire Cavern. The Sound Stone is gone, and our friends say he was in a deep sleep, talking out loud. Ness, seemingly, informs the group of Saturn Valley, and they automatically teleport there.

Apple Kid and Dr. Andonuts are there. They've built a new Phase Distorter vehicle that should take us to Gygas. Porky stole the first one and kidnapped a Saturn. As we climb in, we get fried! Jeff's dad tells us he needs a rare stone to complete the machine. I forget how, but we learn the stone is from meteorites, like the one Buzzbuzz used to start this journey near Ness' house. So let's go back home.

It's different than before. It's dark, and all the people are gone. Even the shop and hotel are closed. Make your way home, and look out for the new mobs. Gygas knows we're looking for that stone! The Ghost of Starman uses Poo's move in round one, but nearing level 90 usually gives us the speed advantage. He can also drop the best ribbon for Paula. I tried to get it, but Ness gained eight levels over an hour and a half before it dropped, so I quit. The evil eye can diamonise your team, so good luck against them.

Our mom is still here, but the lights are off for her safety. She seems to indicate the townsfolk are alive and just held up in their homes. Make your way up the hill and collect the rock at the meteor. Return home, eat a pizza, and call your dad. Returning to Saturn Valley is the point of no return. So enjoy the last night at home just as you did before the journey began. I'll finish Earthbound...

...tomorrow!

Ness is at level 99! The Magicant scenes also changed my mind about him. It showed a lot about him and provided his game an entire point for my review. Sadly, the Goddess Ribbon didn't drop, and I'm ready to end this. So I also won't be farming Ness' best weapon.

Your Sanctuary Rush

Grind!!!!

The Onett library is at the top of the town map. It's nice being back here, but our homecoming is short lived. I did spend the night at home, though. Rather than return to the Tenba cave, I went to Fourside. Remember when we got a call that told us the museum there was open? Let's check that out now. Bring $38.

Pay the fee to enter the museum and talk to the curator in the back. There's something he'll show us, but only if we bring him an autograph from Venus, the new entertainer at the Topolla Theater. Pay the $30 and enjoy the show. The awful bouncer lets us in, and she gives us the desired autograph. She also slaps us, which, honestly, we deserve. Pay the museum fee again and bring it to the curator. The back room leads to the sewers.

There are no dinosaurs here, so I don't know what I was beaten by long ago...

We're here a little bit late. The rats and roaches are pathetic. Swim through the (other) poo water to the right to get to the Plague Rat of Doom. I killed it in three rounds. Could have done it in two if I didn't Spy with Jeff or repaired his bazooka item, which you can find down here. Magnet Hill causes Ness to remember a baby bottle. There's a box nearby that contains a carrot key.

Go to Dalaam now. There were three statues at the bottom of the cloud kingdom, and our new key can open it. Go all the way to the left. You'll be back here later if you walk out, but there's an armor piece for Poo here, Bracer of Kings. The mobs are still pretty pathetic, but don't let them attack. Why is lightning so powerful? Thunder mites and conducting menaces both use the spell. The floating smoke heads didn't seem to do anything. At the end is Thunder and Storm. I used Poo's Shield B. It'll reflect the boss's lighting attacks. For damage, I used spells over physical attacks and had no problems. The Pink Cloud makes Ness remember a younger version of his mom.

So it's back to Deep Darkness. Teleport takes us to the monkey village, so we need to walk through the swamp again to get to Tenba Cave. Hand the shyness book to the mayor, and everyone is healed. If only it were that easy. The temba by the rock will now move it, and we descend into Lumine Hall. It's a weird maze with two layers that's oddly hard to navigate. We'll need to fall through a few holes and climb some ladders to reach the boss. It's wise to spend time farming while here. The mob, uncontrollable sphere, has a 1/128 chance of dropping a broken antenna. Jeff can repair this to get his best weapon, Gaia Beam. It took me an hour and a half to get it, though. I'd suggest killing the boss first so you can get sneak attacks. US explodes on defeat, so battling it isn't wise. The other mob of note is the fobby. These guys like to gang up on you, but they're very weak and give a lot of exp when defeated. The boss is Electro Spector. Don't use spells on it until you've removed the shield. He did that for me when I bounced a lightning attack back at it.

The Sanctuary resembles a supercomputer. The team walks by, and Ness recalls his dad. And then words scroll by on the rock formation next to us. Are these Ness' thoughts? If it is, Ness thinks about the journey and then worries about his friends and what will happen to them after this. And then he gets confused as to why his thoughts are on screen before everything fades away.

To the left is another hole. Falling down it takes us to a confusing place. There's nothing special about it, but it'll take a moment to realize where we are. We're very tiny here. And now we're surrounded by dinosaurs! These are not the dinos I remember! I spent too long looking for Jeff's weapon, so I quickly found the "evacuation site" to the north that had a phone in it. I'll find the last Your Sanctuary sites...

...tomorrow!

All that grinding got me to level eighty! I'm gonna curb stomp the final part of this game, aren't I? I suspect it's only two more nights...

That was quick.

Dungeon Man is a man.

This weird place is filled with weak mobs from the Fourside Department Store and the desert outside. The goal is to follow the excessive sigh posts through three levels. The third rope is the only way forward, and the others lead to dead ends. There are more mobs in pits we can't get to because Brick Road (not dungeon boy) isn't good at his job. It's probably why he turned into this monstrosity. When you finally get to the top, we can see his human face in the rock. He congratulates us and then follows us around for a moment. He hits for 900 damage, but there's nothing worthwhile out there. Take him south.

He'll get stuck in the palm tree wall and accept this is where he'll die. Why is Earthbound so dark? We'll let our new friend die here and keep trekking southeast. There's a native here. He'll tell us that Deep Darkness is beyond the river, but we'll need a submarine to get there. Fortunately, Brick Road has one! Climb back up and go down the new hole he opened for us. After auto killing presents and inspecting Brick Road's antique collection, Jeff repairs the sub, and we set off!

We'll arrive in the jungle called Deep Darkness. It's inhabited by monkeys and researchers. The gimmick with this place is the deep water can harm your characters. There's no way around taking a swim, so suck it up. Go south of the "town" and use the Hawk Eye. It'll illuminate the rest of the dungeon. Watch out for the crocodiles that can easily do 300 damage. The only thing worse than them are the zap ells. Lightning is terrifying in this game, but why does it suck when I use it!? Fish men are also here, as are vileplumes. There are also some vomit piles. One in particular...

Barf has been reincarnated! He functions the same, though, and I might be overleveled. I was out of MP by the time I got here, so maybe I'm perfect? Regardless, just as Paula uses her last PP on Freeze 4, Poo comes back! He uses his new move, Starstorm, and finishes off the sick. Barf drops a Casey Bat, and I don't think I'll use it much with its 75% whiff rate.

So Poo is back on the team, and there is no fanfare. No one says, "Welcome back," and he doesn't say, "I've finished my training." I'm no fan of pomp and circumstance, but this was dumb and boring.

A bit north is a cave filled with more, I think, monkeys. But they're all shy... The tenda in the middle suggests there's a book to overcome shyness, but he doesn't know where it's at. The only extravert tells us there's a path forward, but the only tenda who can move the rock blocking the path is afraid. Guess we need to find that book!

As we leave the cave, Apple Kid calls us. He's working with Jeff's dad, but the doctor is gone. Suddenly, we hear a fight on the otherside of the line! Racing over to Dr. Andonut's lab reveals it empty. Only Apple's mouse friend is here, and it fills us in that he's been kidnapped and taken to Stonehenge Base. The mouse gives us Apple's new invention, the Eraser Eraser. It'll act like the Pencil Eraser and is just as literal.

The Stonehenge Base contains three types of enemies. A more powerful alien, mook, is here. The worst one is the atomic power robot because these guys explode on defeat, dealing 300 damage to the whole team. So lame... The other are the starmen! Remember the guy Buzzbuzz killed? These guys look like him. The grey variant is worthless, but the gold ones located in the factory section are very important. They can drop the only weapon for Poo, the Sword of Kings. But it's a 1/128 chance. They're the only mob that drops the sword, and they disappear when you beat the upcoming boss. I spent the next hour here, looking for that sword. Poo has great stats, but I'm finding they don't equate to battle production, so I'm gonna give him the edge he needs. The Starman Supers are surprisingly easy to sneak attack. Using the Casey Bat may actually make it an auto win. It would have been an easier harvest if the exploding robots weren't here! Make your way through the single path, a muted rainbow road, and into the cold steel world beneath Winters. You'll eventually reach a room with people trapped in tubes. We can recognize some of them as Tony, the doctor, a Mr. Saturn, Apple Kid, and a few nobodies. In the next room is Starman Deluxe!

Don't remove his shield. If you do, he'll hit you with Poo's spell, Starstruck. This hits for over 300 damage to everyone. His shield negates magic, so physically attack him. Have Paula boost everyone's attack. We have two healers if you need to go that route. I had zero problems once I stopped worrying about the shield. Our friends will be free. One tells us the shyness book was returned to Onett's library. So we'll head home for the first time in a long time...

...tomorrow!

I also need to conquer my past and beat up some dinosaurs.

Gang's all here.

Reminds me of milk.

Summers is a tourist town, but there's nothing here. It's boring. Go all the way to far east of the city. There's a man complaining that his wife has stopped doing what she loves: making magic cakes. Elsewhere in the area is a man who gives us the phone number of the local philosopher's society, Club Stoic. Pay a dollar at the hotel to make a reservation to the club. Go to the pretentious social club and talk to everyone to learn the magic cake lady is by the door. When we ask for her magic cake, she'll leave the club and return to her food cart near the beach. Talking to her now causes the world to break.

We're suddenly Poo, the prince of Dalaam. Things move quickly here because our not-Chinese friend has to find enlightenment! This involves us walking down the path in thinking town, taking the unique food from all the houses, paying no heed to the jet black rabbits, and climbing a rope! A man teleports away to do something I didn't understand, and Poo goes up. At the top, he sits down. An attendant from the castle starts to yell at him. Apparently, Poo's master wants him back. I returned to the castle, but I was told to return to the rock. The attendant came back, but I ignored him. A weirdly high resolution ghost face descended from the heavens. This is Poo's ancestor, and things get dark.

A mock battle begins, and our granddad tries to kill us. And we have to accept it. First he breaks our legs. Then he breaks our arms. He cuts off Poo's ears, which wouldn't actually make him deaf, by the way. Lastly, he takes the eyes before stealing the brain. What the hell was that!?!?

Poo wakes up, still on the rock, and the attendant comes back. Our master wants to see us for real this time. Master tells us about Ness and our fate before Poo magically gains five levels and learns Teleport B. He uses his new spell to appear before us, and our team is finally complete!

Earthbound now branches out. We can sleep at the hotel, and we'll get a call saying the museum in Fourside is open. We can also sail the seas to Scarabia by talking to the guy whose wife made us trip with her magic cakes. I went to Scarabia. I remember the dinosaurs stopped my last playthrough years ago, so let's experience some new stuff.

We get the first glimpse at what this planet looks like, and it's filled with ruins. But we can't explore them. Before we set off, we were warned about a Kraken in the seas. Guess what attacked us? Guess what posed no threat? All it did was cast a green light to remove PSI effects from everyone. Poo was still at level twenty and was useless, but I won in five turns. Some monster.

We arrive in Egypt, and we have to deal with sunstroke again. We even have to worry about it in the city. But look around and get new gear. If you didn't buy the diamond bands in Summers, they're cheaper here. When you're done, head south to the pyramids. The third one has a puzzle in front of it. I don't think you can figure it out now, so return to Summers. There's a museum there about Scarabia. We couldn't explore the top floor before, but Poo has a gem on him that we can use to finagle our way in. After defeating a mummy, we can inspect a nearby tablet. Most of it is plot, but the key to getting into the pyramid is at the bottom. Return to Scarabia, and let's talk about someone.

There's a rare mob that spawns just outside the gates. I only got it to show up when I returned from the pyramids. The Master Criminal Worm rewards 20000 exp to everyone, and you don't need to fight it. It's an autowin! I killed a handful of these guys before going down into the pyramid. By the end of tonight, Ness will be level fifty one. Besides this guy, there are two ufos, a scorpion, and a stronger booka.

To enter the pyramid, notice the five plates before the sphinx. The top one will get the cat to talk to us. From here, follow the numbers from the tablet. The guard let us take a picture of it, so inspect the item if you've forgotten. The numbers are in sequential order and not how many times to step on a plate. Make a star with the bottom left being the start.

The pyramid is the straightest dungeon I've ever experienced. It's one corridor that takes us up. And then it takes us down. At the bottom is a boss I didn't realize was a boss. It's a pink stone man who can only physically attack. Use magic because his defense is high. The other enemies here are based on hieroglyphics. One's a guardian cat, and the other is a snake. They're all black outlines and can be hard to see. Behind the pink golem is a room with a switch on the floor. It moves the sarcophagus at the top, which takes us to the legendary Hawk Eye. I don't know why it's legendary, but the sphinx told us we'd need it. The path out has us exiting across the river from the pyramid. Poo's master teleports in and takes Poo away to learn a move. We just got him! I know he sucks, but can't we get to know each other for a bit. This is dumb.

Anyway, a nearby NPC gives us a key to the new Dungeon Boy dungeon to the north. Use the key, and go left. There's a bench we can rest at, an ATM, doctor, and phone. Use the ATM to get money for Paula's new frying pan. We'll get through this Dungeon Master...

...tomorrow!

Like, Poo just showed up. I was still trying to get him leveled up. This is dumb!

This part sucks.

Take away our black mage. Make us fight several bosses. Have us go through a dumb dungeon. Radical!

Paula has been kidnapped, so we have to save her. We were instructed to go to the fourth floor office, so let's do that. As we escalate through the dark and empty tower, we're assailed by musical instruments and vinyl records. They like to spam lightning, and they really hate Jeff. Give him the Franklin Badge. You can leave the building if you need to, so there's no pressure; you're not locked in. At the top is a green blob guy named Spook. With only two people, one of whom can only attack, there's not much strategy. Use PSI Lucy (Rockin') and Jeff's basic attacks. Buy a bottle rocket in the alley behind the department store if want to or have the space. As Spook dies, he mentions that Paula has already been taken to Monotoli. The Twoson inventors call us as we leave the normally running store to tell us their future plans.

A few citizens tell us Monotoli occasionally goes in and out of Jackie's Cafe, down the road from the hotel. Talk to the woman on the otherside of the bar to let her tell us something's going on outside. There's a dead body in the alley! Give the kid at the end anything to get him to move. We're twelve, which is the perfect age to look at corpses. Fortunately, he's not dead. It's Everdred from Twoson. He stole Carpainter's Mani-mani statue with the intention of selling it. But Monotoli took it first. His final words are suggesting we inspect an area behind the counter of the cafe before he gets up and walks away. Look out for the weirdness that's about to unfold.

A nearby dude informs us this is Moonside. It kinda looks like Fourside, but it's a world of outlines, and the colors constantly shift. It makes my eyes hurt. It's an opposite world, where "yes" means no and vice versa. There's a hotel we can sleep back our HP because the fire hydrants can be tough. Sentient artwork and clocks exist, as does a gas pump that lets you kill it in three turns. The goal here is to teleport around the area. There's a bunch of invisible walls here that several lookalike NPCs can warp us to. Open the presents as you go until you're in a single room with one person and an invisible fella. After exhausting dialogue with the shadow guy, we'll return to the hotel. A voice speaks to us from time to time, and he fits the perfect description. There was an NPC blocking a path to the Mani-mani statue looking for someone who fits our missing sprite man's depiction. After taking a teleport, the guard takes our new friend to get drunk, and we can attack the statue.

Every other turn, this thing will steal PP. Besides that, I didn't notice anything to talk about. The statue will break, and Ness and Jeff will suddenly appear in a smoky room. Exit to find yourself in the cafe. The statue made the two of them hallucinate, and everyone saw us. It was embarrassing. As we leave the cafe, a bunch of people will talk to us.
Apple Kid tells us he made a multi choice ice cream machine, but it only makes trout flavored ice cream. He sent it via forgotten mail.
A monkey talks to us first and brings up Talah Rama, who wants to see us all in a hole in the desert.
The delivery man informs us he left the ice cream machine with Tellah Rama.
A maid for Monotoli asks if she can have our trout ice cream machine. So it's back to the desert!

The Monkey Caves are behind the store. Buy a skip sandwich and a picnic lunch there before going down. This dungeon sucks. The music is annoying, and there's a lot of backtracking. There are too many monkeys down here, and they're all blocking doors. To get them to move, you'll need to give them the item they want. All the items are found in the caves, but everything looks the same. Enjoy getting lost with this awful music! Eventually, you'll reach Tallah Rama. He says a lot of deep stuff about fate, but he'll also give us out trout ice cream machine. The monkey beside him wants to teach us something outside. Never return to this place.

The monkey teaches us how to teleport! We'll need a long runway, but I'm glad to have it nonetheless. Port to Fourside and find the maid outside the Monotoli building. She'll give us access to the 48th floor! The 47th floor has us reuniting with Porky. He's Monotoli's right hand man and got his dad a job, as well. But he sucks. Use the elevator across from the one you entered, and we'll come to a new maze.

This one's less sucky. The only mob is a sentry bot, and I didn't notice anything special about it. At the end is Clumsy Robot. Bottle Rockets don't work, and it has a shield that prevents PSI attacks. Jeff can remove the shield, but this causes it to bomb us for massive damage. Just spam attack. CR rarely does anything. It doesn't actually heal off the sandwiches, by the way. After a while, the Runaway Five turn the robot off. Our money is paying off!

In the next room are Monotoli and Paula. Before we act, he gives up. The Mani Statue broke his brain, and we broke that. He sets Paula free now! While he was crazy, the statue told him to make sure we don't go to Summers or the Pyramid. He even gives us his helicopter to get to Summers. As we're about to get in, Porky takes it. So the Runaway Five give us a lift back to Threed. Paula, using her psychic powers, told us to go there. As the band drops us off, they mention a gadget. Remember Jeff's UFO? It's repaired! It takes us back to Winters, and Jeff's dad modifies it to get us to Summers. While we wait, the bubble monkey tells us about the cave behind Stonehenge. Right, there's a sanctuary boss here!

Go all out against Shroomish! It can poison you, but mushroomized effect is worse. Get a few bottle rockets, spam Lucy, and use Fire B every turn. This took me a few tries. Behind it is the Rainy Circle, a puddle where it's always raining. Ness recalls his first taste of pizza!

Jeff's dad is done with the ship, so climb on! It takes us to the sandy beaches of Summers, a resort town with overpriced stuff. The Sky Runner crashes, and I don't think it can be repaired now. A few NPCs tell us about a sea monster, missing people in Winters, and Porky has been here. But we'll investigate more...

...tomorrow!

We're past the halfway point now, and I'm starting to see what my score will be. Hopefully, the rest won't be as bad as tonight.

Heat Stroke

Hey, a dungeon gimmick!

With the zombies gone from Threed, the buses are running again! Get on the one going to Fourside, pay $6, and enjoy the ride. We'll watch the bus go through the tunnel and a canyon before passing through a desert. And then we'll stop. There's a traffic jam, and our driver doesn't get paid to sit. He sends us off and turns around. We're now three unattended preteens in the scorching desert.

The group has to walk through the sand with the burning sun on them. As indicated by the sweat dripping from them, this can lead to ill health. Randomly while walking, a character can suddenly take damage. This means they're affected by a unique Earthbound status effect, heat stroke. Fortunately, it can be healed with Healing B. Mobs in the area are poisonous wolves, poisonous scorpions, female ufos, something called a booka, buffalos, and terrible floating spheres. I left the spheres for last because they're not worth the trouble. Most things in the desert give more exp, and none of them explode for 300 damage when they die. There's also an assortment of stuff out here, including something for a side quest I wonder if I'll do. For a quick way out, stick to the rock just north of the road. You'll eventually find a digger who wants food. Feed him, and he'll promise to give you the gold he finds. There's also a house here to rest and save. There's nothing in the hole yet, so loop to the south of the rocks to get to the exit tunnel.

After the tunnel and a long bridge, we'll finally reach the metropolis of Fourside! It's a massive city with angry people around the edges. There are also sentient taxis that try to run you over. Also, there's an Ohio road sign. The gossip indicates a corrupt real estate agent has taken over the town. Monotoli is his name. Visit the Topolla Theatre and speak to the manager. The Runaway Five has gotten themselves into another poor contract. This time we'll need to earn a million dollars to free them. See the band, their performance, and the return to the hole in the desert.

It's gotten a lot bigger! It's also attracted some attention from admirers and monsters. The guy in charge had to stop because five giant moles invaded the cave. We'll have to clean them out. Besides the bosses, there are the same ducks from Winters, who usually run away from you. But their cohorts, the rope men, drag them to their deaths. Paula is gonna do work down here by spamming Fire B. The moles themselves all think they're the third strongest of the family, but they're all equally the weakest. Two Freeze B (or a v and backup) kill them in two turns. Don't use physical attacks because they start with a shield that reflects physical damage. I had Ness use Flash, and Jeff sucked HP. This is a very long and mazelike dungeon, but it's well worth it. The exp is great, and I was sad to see everything gone when I cleaned it out. Apparently, it's a hard dungeon, but I found it to be easy. Because of its length, don't be afraid to exit mouse out to refill PP. There's another exit mouse group towards the end.

Tell the digger that all is well, and sleep. He's gone, so return to Fourside. As we cross the bridge, a man comes to us to reward us. He found a diamond in the mine and gives it to us.

Go to the theatre and free the Runaway Five with the diamond. We'll witness one last performance, which they'll do with a new singer, Venus, and be off on their journey! For some reason, the department store is now open! There are a few new items to find to increase your power, so look for the sketchy dude in the first side room. As we try to leave, the lights go out. We see a flash of something run past, and they take Paula with them. A voice comes over the intercom, telling us to come to the office on the fourth floor. We'll save Paula...

...tomorrow!

Lot of walking around tonight. My levels are early to mid thirty, and everything is starting to feel easy. I struggled early on, so it's refreshing. Not looking forward to losing Paula, though.

I don't like Mr. Saturn

And Jeff is on Pluto!

After leaving his all boys school, Jeff travels to save his imaginary friends. He'll need to travel south for a while but visit the poorly placed shop near the school. Buy a pack of gum. You get a free monkey with the purchase of a $1 pack of gum. He'll be helpful down the road. After that, go south through the ridges. Jeff'll have to go against some of the same mobs Ness dealt with at level one, but there's something to be wary of. Goats. Gruff goats can be pretty scary, but they can be taken down if you're around level five. If need be, make use of the tent near the drugstore to heal up. Eventually, you'll make it to a lake. There are a bunch of people with binoculars looking for Tessie, the dinosaur at Lake Tess. One guy thinks she'll appear tomorrow, and another will let Jeff sleep until morning. He'll dream of Paula again. When he wakes up, the wind is blowing, leaves are flying, and there's a whirlpool in the lake. Approach the water, and the bubble monkey will take charge. With a piece of bubble gum, the monkey will blow a bubble and float. From beneath him raises the lake monster, Tessie! She'll float over to Jeff, he'll get on, and Tess takes her passengers across the lake.

The cave takes us to Brick Road. It's a maze containing rats with a high crit rate, slug parties, dreaded mimics, easy ducks, and mushrooms. The shrooms give great exp, but I think they mushroomize people, so I'm unsure if fighting them is wise. Open all the real presents and find the exit. Dungeon Boy will ask us how we felt about his dungeon and promises to get better. He lets us rest, and there's a phone inside the cave.

Continue south into another cave to find more shrooms and ants. You'll need to give the monkey another piece of gum so he can drop a rope here. Take note of the Your Sanctuary light at the top. Jeff can't do anything with it, so I suspect we'll be back. Outside is Stonehenge, but our monkey runs off to chase a girl he's instantly smitten with. The cave boys that roam the area give 600 exp, but it took about ten rounds to kill them. Fortunately, their accuracy sucks. One supper bottle rocket can also take them out. Keep south to find a lab.

It's where our dad is! He's famous and hasn't seen his son in ten years. Keep in mind Jeff is thirteen. Dr. Andonuts is told what's happening, and he offers his son the Sky Runner. After opening the present on the second floor, climb in the 1950s alien spacecraft.

It flies over a few areas the team will explore soon: Fourside and a desert. It'll float around town for a long moment before crashing into the graveyard, right into the hidden room where Ness and Paula are! The team is now together! Use Jeff's Bad Key Machine to leave the prison and walk around Threed for a while. I don't know what triggered it, but Apple Kid will eventually call you. He's created something called Zombie Paper, which will attract and stick any undead. Is the call after you take out the demon tent in the south part of the town? Regardless, place the paper in the circus tent where the resistance is and sleep at the hotel. We (the player) will see zombies across town leave their posts, including those guarding the secret tunnel.

You can see your handiwork, but go to that ladder! It leads to a long, spooky tunnel with a sentient barf pile at the end. It tells us the boss, Belch, likes Fly Honey, an item we got from the demon tent.

Beyond this is Grapefruit Falls. There are more zombies and a crocodile here. More interesting is the side cave. Welcome to Saturn Valley!

It's filled with pink bubble creatures who speak with strange accents, as indicated by weird symbols that can be hard to decipher sometimes. There's a doctor and hotel here, but there's a guy in the cave who tells us the password to something. All you have to do is wait three minutes after someone asks for a password. Return to the river and keep following it north until you reach a waterfall. There's a path behind it that leads to something asking for a password. Remain silent for a long time until you're granted access to Belch's Factory.

Hunt down poppies. They're pink blobs that give a lot of exp. Sadly, there are only two of them, and they don't respawn after the boss dies. I avoided the first two doors, which only had a bunch of questionable treasure in them. I'm at the inventory limit for my characters, so I couldn't carry most of it. Keep on the factory floor. There's a butterfly behind the third door, and the fourth door is where we'll find Master Belch!

I used the Fly Honey on him, but it didn't seem to do anything. What did do damage was Paula's Freeze Beta. Jeff's big bottle rocket is also good for a pinch, but I had full HP at the end of the fight. Jeff was poisoned, so watch out for that. The enslaved Saturns are free, and there's a new path to the top part of Saturn Valley. There's a store here and a new ladder down to the hotel. Past the hot springs is Milky Well.

There are our first color swaps. It's a mushroom and a plant. There's also a cactus thing here. I didn't find them worthwhile, so I tried to avoid fights. In the end is another Your Sanctuary, defended by Trilliage Sprout. With Lucy B and Fire B, I had no problems with this guy or his ads. Apparently, he has a status effect he can hit you with, but I didn't see it. Ness recalls his mom encouraging him. As you leave, the mobs become worth the struggle with a free turn and no worry of PP use.

Return to Threed to see everything is better now. It's lighter, the music is more upbeat, and the zombies are gone. We're greeted by some townsfolk, who thank us for our heroic actions. They also tell us the tunnel to Fourside is open now. So we'll be going there...

...tomorrow!

The Saturn people gave me a headache. Who knew testicles were bad?

Jazz music corrupts our youth.

I walked back home to visit Liar. He sold his statue to Carpainter...

Head back to Happy Valley and go to the cave in the east. This leads to the anti blue area! The Lilliput Steps cave is filled with angry moles who aren't a threat and a bat that you might already be able to auto win against if it's alone. The scary thing is the mighty bear. They've got a lot of HP and even more attack. They give a lot of exp, but taking three rounds to kill them might make it not worth it. The glowing light that appeared before the Atomic Ant boss at Giant's Step is here. This time, though, we're against another mole man, Mondo.

Use PSI Paralyses and wait a few turns. After a while, paralysis fully sets in, and our target can't act. I tried to go at him without the cheese, but Paula's magic did very little damage. I ran out of MP using this strategy anyway, so a full frontal assault against Mondo isn't wise. The Lilliput Steps are behind him, and they make Ness think about a baby in a red hat. Giant's Step was a puppy, by the way. I missed that these places give visions.

Like before, monsters run away from us. I used this to gain a few levels because Paula is still pretty weak. The bears might be worthwhile with a free turn now. Once you get back to the valley, though, mobs still seek you out. The next stop is Threed! There's a small issue, though. The tunnel is haunted. When we walk through it, ghosts haunt us, and we're warped back to the start. A similar thing happens when we take the bus. But there's a guy at the entrance who thinks a certain type of music can get us through.

Head to the Chaos Theater and speak with the guys outside. This is the Runaway Five. They're kinda creepy in the way they talk about Paula, but it might just be me being sensitive. They don't really say anything towards her. But we'll get a Backstage Pass to hang out with the whole group. But the jazz band is trapped in Twoson. They owe the owner, Poochyfud, $10000. This is how much the Wad of Bills is worth! Hang out with the band and leave the room to see their performance. Why are there six of them? Afterwards, Poochyfud wants to see us. I showed him the money and redid that last scene for reasons I didn't understand, but the second showing paid off the Runaway Five's debt. Aa thanks for freeing them, they give us a lift through the Threed tunnel! Their radical blues music scares off the ghosts and breaks the curse, letting us get to Threed. The band drops us off and heads on to the next town.

Threed has a zombie problem. Buy new weapons at the store and investigate around town. Make your way north to see the zombies guarding the secret path out of Threed. There will be some possessed trash cans in the area, which aren't too bad to fight. After getting spooked by the undead, go rent a room at the hotel. A strange woman sees us and runs into the hotel. The music is warped, and the clerk is gone. Keep following the woman into the empty room to be ambushed by ghosts and zombies! Ness and Paula are trapped in a room. Paula, being a psychic, begins to talk to the aether. She calls out to a friend we've never met. A friend named Jeff.

Jeff lives in Winters, a country to the north. He's attending the Snow Woods Boarding School for Boys. He wakes up, and his roommate, Tony, joins him on his rule breaking adventure. We're not allowed to leave campus, so we'll need help. There are a few people talking about Tessie and a bunch of cookies in our neighbor's room. I didn't pick them up for some reason... An upperclassman, Maxwell, is in a lab on the first floor. Speaking to him gets us a key to the lockers in the next room. But it's bent and doesn't work. Talk to him after trying, and he'll give you a machine to do it. Open all the lockers for a weapon and some armor for Jeff. He'll need them. Leave the building, and Tony will get on his hands and knees to be used as a stepping stool to leave campus. Jeff is on his own on a quest to save his friends. And we'll do that...

...tomorrow!

Jeff can repair and use broken machines. He doesn't have any PSI abilities, so I assume he's a physical attacker. Let's find out!

A new friend!

But let's beat up the cops first!

Captain Strong, the police chief, has called us in. We did, technically, trespass, so our punishment is a bit of police brutality. Sorta... Strong thinks we deserve an award, so Ness requests access to Twoson, where Paula lives. He doesn't think we're up to the task, so he challenges us to a fight. But we need to go through his lackeys first. We have to run a gauntlet with no ability to heal between battles. At level twelve, I could defeat them in two rounds. Only Strong has a special attack, but I didn't experience it. I used Shield to raise my defense (I think) and PSI Lucy to get through his. It took three turns, and the only trouble I had with this whole section was the crit from the first nobody. But with our victory, Captain Strong calls the guards to let us pass.

The road to Twoson is south. It's a straight path filled with mushrooms. These guys are kinda scary because they can afflict you with a unique status effect: mushroomize. This places a mushroom on your head and messes with your controls. It can also confuse you in battle, so visit a hospital if you get it. Along the road is a house filled with exit mice. These guys act like escape ropes from Pokémon, so it's worth keeping one.

Word in Twoson is Paula has been kidnapped. A fat kid and someone with a mask took her from the kindergarten she helps run. Before exploring, visit the large department store. At the top is a new hat, and the farmers market, Burglin Park, has a new bracelet. While in the park, a strange dude is overlooking the place. This is Everdread. He jumps off the roof and fights us. It's an easy battle because he "sprained his ankle" in the fall. He's now on our side and confirms that the local cult has kidnapped Paula and taken her to their commune to be a sacrifice.

Elsewhere in town are two inventors, Apple Kid and Orange Kid. We can donate $200 to each of them for exclusive access to their newest inventions. Apple Kid was a waste, but Orange Kid hands us the Pencil Eraser. This'll be helpful later, but a mouse gives us a phone that we can receive calls with. When you're ready, go east.

Peaceful Rest Valley is home to plants, trees that explode when defeated, aliens, and robots. The robots are terrifying, but the aliens are an easy source of a lot of exp. Make sure to kill the trees last to take advantage of the HP odometer mechanic. The "gimmick" here is the iron pencil that blocks our path further east. But Orange Kid's invention gets rid of it.

Eventually, you'll reach the village of Happy Valley. The religion, Happyism, believes that painting everything blue will bring happiness to the world. Earthbound is a strange game. There's a room we can use for $50 in the southwest next to the blue cow. There's another store in the northeast that sells a new bat. What's more fun are the insane cultists in the south. I could kill these guys in two hits, and they give over 300 exp on defeat. And they barely do any damage! They like to call in reinforcements, so you can quickly attain 1000 exp in one battle. I think I got to level sixteen or so.

But the destination is through a cave just west of the store. It takes you to a lone hut surrounded by crows that we still can't auto win. Inside is a girl in prison. This is Paula. She tells us to defeat the Happy cult leader, Carpaintet. He has the key. As we leave, she warns us Carpainter can summon lightning. Paula gives us the Franklin Badge, which reflects lightning. Waiting for us is Porky!? He's joined the cult and quickly became a high ranking member. But he's still a coward, so he sicks his cultists on us.

In the house in the middle of town are the most sprites you can jam into one area in a SNES game. A few can be spoken to create a path to the otherside of the room. Go through there to find Mr. Carpainter. A golden Manu-Manu statue, similar to the one Liar had... Anyway, the Franklin Badge negates the lightning and actually makes it harm the boss. This battle is easy. Carpainter returns to normal and disbands the cult. He gives us the key to Paula's cell, and we let her out. She joins our team, so I head back to town to equip her. Her poor teddy bear doesn't make it back... Sadly, the exp cultists are gone, so we'll have to settle for the ufos. I visit Paula's kindergarten, Everdread, and get her the best gear she can have at the moment. Everdread also gave us $10000 to use (we can't) and wanted to see Liar's statue. But there was an NPC that told us about the Liliput Steps east of Happy Valley, so we'll check that out...

...tomorrow!

Paula is the black mage, and she should be in Smash instead of Ness.

Fuzzy Pickles!

Earthbound is a game that I might have the longest history with. It was one of the first games I vividly remember renting. And I did it several times! I'm pretty sure six-year-old me was enthralled with the story and gameplay. It was probably my first experience with them in video games. Before, it was just Donkey Kong Country. I never got very far because my rental store only lent them out for one day and because I was six. I managed to get the same copy a few times in a row, but I never made it past the second city. And then I forgot about Mother and moved away from SNES games in general. A few years ago, though, I remembered I could emulate games. I got as far as the final city before running into a massive difficulty spike. I think I went the wrong way and went to war with dinosaurs before I was ready. And then I dropped the game... until tonight.

I booted up Earthbound and let the opening cinematic play. What does a 1950s art choice of aliens attacking an American city have to do with this game? We get to name our friends, the dog (Daisy), our favorite thing (Lucy), and our favorite food (pizza). I'm also using the strawberry frame if anyone's curious.

We're on the outskirts of Onett, a city in Eagleland, and it's the year 199X. It's the middle of the night, and our hero, Ness, is sleeping. The sound of something falling is heard in the distance before a loud crash. This wakes up Ness, who goes to see what happened. His loving mother stops him but knows he'll just sneak out anyway, so she tells him to get out of his pajamas. We leave our home and scale the hill to the west. There are police, who love their roadblocks, a weird man, Liar X. Agerate, and our neighbor annoying the cops. Porky is here! The cops have the area blocked off, so we can't get further. But we know a meteor fell, so let's go back to bed!

A loud and annoying knocking at our front door wakes up the entire house again. Our mom tells us to check the door, but Porky busts in before we can. His little brother, Picky, ran off when the two of them bypassed the police barricades. He's afraid of his parents punishing him for losing his brother and asks us to help him find Picky. Mom tells us to change again and suggests we take our sister's cracked bat. Porky joins as a guest party member, and we're off! Our dog is also with us, She, usually, tries.

We're returning to the meteor landing spot, but battles can now happen. They take place similarly to Dragon Quest, where it's almost a first person type of thing. Instead of a black screen or terrain appropriate background, though, it's a psychedelic kaleidoscope. We'll be fighting through stray dogs, snakes, and crows. Sometimes they don't attack, which is nice, but Ness' accuracy is suspect. Porky will never help. Take your time and exploit a cool thing Earthbound does with encounters. There are no random battles! You see everything on the field before you. Sometimes the amount is s wrong, but it's good enough. But you can reset what appears on screen by walking far enough away from the scary thing.

But Crows drop a lot of cookies to heal up, so get to that meteor! Picky is waiting behind a tree. Porky got lost, so Picky waited here for him. Picky joins us as another guest, and he tries his best. Before leaving the area, Porky hears a buzzing. Suddenly, the meteor starts to glow, and a beam of light emanates from it. When it dies down, it reveals a bee!? And it speaks! This is Buzzbuzz, and he's a hero from the future. He's come to the past to inform Ness that he has a fate. He, two boys, and one girl are fabled to defeat the monster Gygas, but only if they get to him early. Buzzbuzz joins us as another guest, and he'll guide us to our target. Porky is worried he's a member of this group. But let's drop the boys off at their house!

En route, we're attacked by a minion of Gary Gygas. Star Man jr is totally negated by Buzzy, so don't worry.

The Minches are back, and they're mad. Their dad runs off to scold his kids. When he returns to us, he tells us to leave. Not just his house but ours, too. He hates our dad because dad's borrowed "one hundred thousand dollars, or maybe less" from Mr. Minch. As we leave, Mrs. Minch kills Buzzbuzz. His eventual final words are about how to defeat Gygas. We need to visit seven locations that have a unique sound to them. We should record them with the Sound Stone. Along with the powers of wisdom, courage, and friendship, we can save the future!

We sleep in our bed and wake up with the sun. Our mom knows what's going on and wishes us well. She tells us to call our dad, and he's how we save. He also transfers money into our ATM account. I'm pretty sure it's the equivalent of mobs dropping gold, and I kinda hate it. It's an extra step that's unnecessary.

But our adventure begins! I visited Liar X. Agerate and went into his basement to see his statue. It's totally normal. I'm sure it'll lead to something later. But southeast is the town of Onett. The cops last night foreshadowed the gang that's controlling the area, the Sharks. You can fight them in the southern part of town but visit the store first. You can buy a new bat and hat to double your defense. I got to level five when the game automatically beats snakes for you. The best thing about Earthbound is the auto win feature that triggers when you're far more powerful than your opponent. I don't understand why no one's ever stolen the idea.

The Sharks hang out in the arcade. I beat the grunts in two hits and thought it was good enough. It was! Talk to the guy guarding the door in the back. Calming him lets us into the backyard where the leader, Frank, hangs around in. He'll fight us, but he wasn't too hard. I think t took four rounds. But we're right into a second battle against his robot, Frankystein Mark II. I think I got lucky here. The bot spammed a debuff that lowered my defense. He used this for five straight rounds, letting me attack with abandon. With the robot gone, Frank leaves town.

We should now speak to the mayor. To the northwest of town is the Giant Step. Buzzbuzz told us to visit here, but the way is blocked because the mayor locked it. Apparently, Frank trashed it. Speaking to him now will let us enter the cave system.

Inside are easy battle slugs you should try to kill. They attack in groups of four, can be one shot, and give out over 100 exp on a win. The mice can be killed in two goes, and the ants are trouble. They're weirdly tanky and can summon backup. A one-on-one fight can quickly turn into a one-on-four, and you might die.

There's a rainbow butterfly before the boss to restore your MP, so PSY Heal and get ready for Titanic Ant. Thirty PP should make this battle a sinch. Rockin' (Lucy) Alpha kills his backup instantly and devastates the boss. Three should make a few basic attacks finish him off, if not outright kill him. With TA gone, we can activate the Sound Stone at Giants Foot, and the mobs in the dungeon flee from us now. This lets us get a jump on everything down here and make grinding easier. I got to level eleven before leaving. There's a police officer waiting for us, and he's mad. The Police Chief wants to talk to us, so Ness starts his carrier in gangster rap...

...tomorrow!

I'm thinking about killing myself because my parents suck. It makes me jealous that Ness' parents love and support him so much. Oh, and Paula spoke to us in a dream!

Redmont, Felghana, Garmin

For the last three years, I have been sailing around the known world in search of adventure. It took slightly over a year before I met a winged being, but my escapades began to hasten thereafter. My fifth adventure was not one for me. I traveled to the homeland of my travel companion, Dogi. He's from the country of Felghana in northeastern Garmin. After I regained my memories in Celceta, the rumors of Redmont started to flair up. Out of concern, we sailed around the Horn of Duen (???) and into Sienna Bay.

Felghana is one of the most beautiful locations I've ever seen. The Eldern Mountains sit high in the northern sky. Around it lays a colorful forest filled with scenic plant life amid an easy walk. Once my trip was done, it was such a peaceful place.

It's helped out by the people of Redmont. The village is a ravel mining town, and it's filled with the hard working sort you'd expect. But don't let their rough exterior fool you. They're the kindest group I've ever met. They're welcoming and pious. The church takes up a lot of space in the back of town, but Father Pierre makes it worthwhile. He preaches the religion of Europa, but the local folklore of ancient gods fills me with curiosity. The stories are well known. I felt like a local even before I became famous. If you stay at the inn, tell Margot I sent ya.

It's a calm place now, but hunters might like to know what once hung around. To put it bluntly: it was an abundance of riches. Birds, bugs, and mammals live in the region. There were a few gruesome assortments when I was here, but it's been taken care of. Those aerial assault squads sure were annoying, though.

The story of Felghana is a bit tragic. When Dogi and I came here, there was a heavy air about. The monsters become hostile because of dark magics from an ancient god. An unknown entity was pulling the strings on the aristocracy, the church, and the yeoman. Many people died. It took me finding four statues in four locations throughout the area. Even with everything going on, I happily got lost in the areas. Discovering good magics from an ancient god helped me clean out the terrifying creatures that lived beneath the land. I shouldn't have, but I had fun here. There's something about fighting for those you care about that makes every sword swing feel lighter.

I've always had a strange form of synesthesia. Locations create a strange music in my head that only I can hear. Cities, fights, moods, and even people can trigger it. And beautiful Felghana composed some of the most sounds I've ever heard.

I'm preparing my next adventure, and my editor wants this fast, so let's get to the tl:dr section.

People: memorable. Redmont may be where I settle down when I'm old. The people and their stories are so cozy. 8/20

Things to do: quaint. It's a peaceful village in what many call the boondocks. It has a certain atmosphere to it that the more excitable may not like. 8/10

Scenery: movement in green. Everything to see is memorable and fun. There's so much to see, but it might be too vibrant. Some of the small things get lost to those with questionable eyesight. 9/10

Sounds: perfect. Everything about the country made my strange synesthesia go overboard. But I was thrilled. It made me want to revisit everything all the time! I wish I could write music to share with everyone in Romn. 10/10

Charm: I'm retiring here. I can not stress this enough: visit Redmont for the people. And then stay for the quick fun! 10/10

Of all the places I've visited, Felghana is one of the best. 45/50.

---

I absolutely loved playing Oath in Felghana. It single handedly made me want to play the Ys games a few years ago, and it gone and went it done it again. The plot is surprisingly exciting. Chester alone would make it perfect. Adol being the sole character and a quasi-silent protagonist alongside the kinda bland final boss, put a damper on it, though.

The entire game is just swinging your sword around alá many action ARPGs, but it's still a fun thing to play. If you're into that thing and don't mind the variety, you might consider it perfect. The magic system is fun and tries to add some other ways to get through mobs, but I found it slightly lacking.

The only bad thing I can say about the visuals is I have no clue what those four gauges above your HP bar are.

I'm so glad I replayed Oath in Felghana. I'm definitely moving it up on my favorites list! I'm already calling it the Summer of Ys, but I'm not gonna marathon them. My white whale (probably) is this weekend!

It's always towers in Ys.

I accidentally beat the game.

The Clock Tower is a one way path, and we're going up. We do that by climbing on various moving platforms. Some are blade looking things, others are cogs, and there are a few up-and-down hammers. Mobs are plentiful, especially slimes, so be careful not to accidentally fall off when swinging your sword. As we climb, we'll need to make a few leaps of faith or falls because the four statues are scattered throughout. Picking one up opens the door forward. At the top is a castle ramparts. You can get an amazing view of north Felghana and Genos Island, but it's clear it wasn't meant for such a widescreen display. Look at the void!

In the Clock Tower proper is a dispute between Chester and Count McGuire. Chester is telling his boss he's turning on him by condemning the Count's actions. Mark is trying to apologize, but his voice actor does an amazing job of making us wonder if he's repenting out of guilt or fear of Chester. It doesn't matter because Chester sees us. He's annoyed we've disobeyed again, so he attacks us. At level 47 ish, Chester couldn't harm me. I just tanked his attacks and spammed my own. Sorry, I can't give a strategy. I tried to be better with that.

Chester remarks on how we've gotten stronger, but this distraction allowed the Count to leave. He can only climb up, so we make our way there.

After a similar scene as before, Elena shows up. Rather than flee, she's somehow made all those complicated jumps. Elena doesn't care for revenge and assumes her family wouldn't either. They just want to rest. McGuire peeks up to inform us that he never planned for any of this. He only did what was told. Before he can answer who his boss is, we hear a voice. Bishop Nikolas!

It turns out the holy man has been pulling the strings for a long time. His devotion to god is actually Galbalon! Chester is still seeking vengeance and goes to attack, but Nik throws up a shield. Chester pulls out a special sword that breaks it, but Dularn teleports in to attack, totally disabling him. Adol, always the noble, tries his hand. It plays out better, but you'll notice that Nik lacks a health bar and beats us in time. Knowing we're weak and pathetic, he plans to kidnap Chester. Even with the statues, he needs the blood of Genos to break the final seal. Elena loves her brother and knows he can't go. She pleads to be the sacrifice instead, which Nik obliges.

Everyone returns to Redmont. Bernhardt shows up to take control of defending the town from the undead, and Adol quickly decides to go to Genos Island. Chester is resting in the mayor's guesthouse, and he gives us Geno's Sword before passing out. Dogi is waiting for him at the docks but collapses as we get there. Welcome to the Beginning of the End.

Waiting for us is our long time nemesis, Dularn. The fight plays out similarly to the first one, but they can clone themselves to cast energy waves at us. The real one isn't glowing purple and throws fire at us. But something interesting happens afterwards. Behind the mask is Sister Nell. Something happened at Illburn some years ago between her and Nikolas, which changed her views on god. She's been working on the shadows ever since. Before leaving, though, her sentiments change again, and she wants us to save the world.

Dark Shrine is very straightforward, and I appreciate that. Ys usually has overly long final dungeons, but this one is manageable. It can feel hard to navigate when you reach the area with the immortal beings, but it makes sense once you've gone through the circle. When you get to the floor with the pits, land on the raised area after you fall. Either fall through the hole or wind spin to get there. The Ravel Armor is at the end f that path. You can't kill the zombies without the Silver Chimes. It's down here in an obvious chest somewhere. As is the Lotus Hammer. After the giant werewolves is the final save point. Return to town and speak to Adonis, the blacksmith. With the Lotus Hammet and 1000 ravel, he'll construct the Ravel Shield. After a few minutes of grinding at the aforementioned werewolves, you'll have enough ore to fully maximize your armor. With them and level fifty or higher, it's time to end this.

In the room behind the save point is Nikolas Garland. He's evil because of something at Illburn, so he attacks. I tried to ignore most of his attacks, but you should jump when he pulls out a scythe. The only other thing to watch out for is when he turns into a spaceship. Go figure. With him dead, we can descend to the final battle. Save before going down.

Elena is tied up and begs us to leave. Eventually, Chester shows up to save her, which annoys Galbalon in the background. He wakes up and speaks. He talks of things we're not supposed to know about yet, so I won't spoil anything about the winged ones or the black ore.

Galbalon is a bit of a puzzle boss inside a bullet hell. To damage him, you'll need to throw fire at his purple head. It reveals a purple core, which we can attack with our sword for a moment. Use his ice platforms to get up there. Once the core is revealed, it pulls out a sword to squish you. Avoid it while continuing to spam fire. Eventually, Galbalon summons laser beams across the battlefield, and his arms come to smash us. Time their attacks right to get some shots in. At about 700 Hp, everything sucks. You'll have to play tennis with the core while avoiding a black hole that'll suck your HP if caught. The move has a long cinematic cutscene that sucks. I hated this part, and I'm reminded why I played on very easy. Try to get the black hold in a corner. But I won in two attempts once I realized why the ice blocks float.

Chester and Elena are with us, but Chester knows Galbalon is already recovering. He asks us to come to the elevator. And then things get heavy. Through tears, Chester tells Elena, "Farewell." He apologizes for everything but knows what to do. Elena is confused, so Chester continues. He knows a way to destroy the entire island, which should take Galbalon with it. With the statues and sword, it can be done. But he has to stay behind for it to work. Elena pleads for another way, but Chester thinks this is the only way he can repent. With no option, he punches his sister in the stomach, knocking yer out. Adol understands and takes Elena to safety. Chester sets stuff up as Galbalok begins to stir again. As it does, Chester raises the sword!

We jump to town and see everyone defending it from zombies. The earth shakes, and an anime cutscene shows a beam of light erupting from Genos Island. The zombie outside town turns to dust...

Some days later, Abel is preparing to leave. He's trying to speak to Elena, but she's locked in her hut out of grief. Dogi joins us to say it's no use, so let's say goodbye to everyone else.
The mine is about to open again, so most people are preparing to clean that.
Father Pierre is sad his friends are gone, but he's ready to be the head holy man for the town.
McGuire's kids have become good friends with Redmont's kids.
The parents are remorseful and ready to help repair Felghana. But diplomatically, this time.
All the other foreigners are pretty thrilled to be in Redmont.
Bernhardt is going to retire and become a boring townsfolk now.
Mayor Edgar has chosen to believe that Chester acted for the sake of the town.
After speaking to everyone, it's time to return to the docks and begin a new adventure. As we cross the bridge, Dogi stops. He wishes us well on our journey, but he can't come with us this time. Dogi's gonna help rebuild, so we're on our own again.
As Adol leaves and Dogi enters the inn, Elena recognizes that it's time to be brave as her brother wanted. Dogi tells her Adol left, so she runs after him. She catches up just as he's about to leave. Elena apologizes for taking so long, but she needs to see Adol off, or she'll regret it. She promises to be stronger and live for her brother.

The ending credits roll as we see more images of this beautiful country. We were only here for a few hours, but this quickly became one of my favorite cities ever. The final scene is of Elena waving us goodbye, but everyone made it seem like we'll come back one day. Falcom hasn't sent us back yet, but maybe that'll be Ys XI? Either way, the final image is of a sword sitting in rubble at the bottom of the ocean.

"Thank you for playing."

Ya know, I made a mistake during these writings. Officially, all the Ys games are retellings of Adol's adventures. What I should have done was write an actual travel log/book. But there are more Ys games, and I have declared this the summer of Ys, so...