Tuesday, April 5, 2022

Totally accurate 100 Years war simulator

Or, what the game calls itself, Joan D'Arc!

I've had this game in my backlog for years, but it was always strange with emulation. It's a font thing, but I fixed it when I played Lunar a few months ago. It always annoyed me, so I didn't get very far. But with that fixed, I can finally play a game like Final Fantasy Tactics! Joan D'Arc is a tactical RPG akin to the aforementioned Final Fantasy game or Tactics Ogre franchise. I've heard nothing but good things about Joan D'Arc, so let's, after several years of delay, finally see if the hype is real!

An anime plays as we start on a dark and stormy night. It's bedtime for a small boy with a questionable English accent. A creepy man who shouldn't be anywhere near children is telling the boy a story about the Demon Wars, a period when humanity when nearly wiped out by an otherworldly monster. The only thing that kept mankind alive were five magical armlets that sealed away the Demon King. DK had a name, but I've forgotten it. Anyway, we return to the boy's room, and the creepy dude gets even creepier. He blacks out the boy's room as his ward falls asleep. Creeper goes on to insinuate he's about to possess Prince Henry with the same demon that was sealed away. It's for the sake of Henry, so it's cool! Some magical glyphs are written, and incantations are spoken, but an old knight rushes in to stop all this madness. Creeper and Knight fight for a moment, but Creeper gains the upper hand because magic is always stronger than old age. It's revealed that both of these men are of the five that sealed away the Demon King. I'm pretty sure we also learn that Creeper is the Duke of Bedford. While this is happening, the summoned demon takes control of Henry. The knight manages to get free of Creeper's tentacles and stop the demon, but it's too late. Henry opens his eyes, but they're not his eyes anymore...Welcome to a fantastical retelling of the 100 Years War between England and France!

We cut to a happy festival scene with musicians and dancers around a file. People in this quaint village of Domremy are celebrating something, but we have to take a break. Two women, Jeanne and Liana, hear Jeanne's father running towards them. Dad was working late to prepare for the festival, so he forgot to do something about the church. Rather than do it himself, he asks us to do it. We head to the chapel, and Liana brings up a man, Roger. He's not from the village, and no one liked him when he first arrived. But that's all changed, and people think he's a swell fella now. As they approach the church, a slumped over knight on horseback "walks" before us. The girls are shocked and rush to see if they can save the knight. Jeanne is holding the man when she notices his pouch start to glow. Light bursts from it and wraps around Jeanne's hand until it normalizes into a golden armlet. Before either of the girls can wonder what happened, the knight's horse comes up to them and signals that they should check his bag. Inside is a giant toad... They can't dwell, though, because they hear monsters in the forest. From out of the trees comes a goblin. Even more alarming is the random voice that Jeanne hears. It tells her to pick up the knight's sword and fight. Jeanne does so, and we start our first battle!

It's a short tutorial battle against three monsters. All we can do right now is attack, and that action will suffice. Through on screen images, we learn about the basics. I know some people don't like it when the game blatantly tells you the controls, but I don't mind. It's sometimes faster this way. After the battle ends, Roger runs towards the church, hoping they'd be alright. Liana asks how Jeanne knew how to fight, but she's not sure either. She's never even held a sword before. But as before, before any further rumination can be done, we all hear a scream from the village. Jeanne is the first one to make a move back home...

Which means she's the first to see the fires. Jeanne, Liana, and Roger dig through the burning rubble to find survivors, but they can't. The only thing they manage to discover is who attacked the village. An English Soldier is commanding several demons, and he tells his squad to kill us. Before the fight, the armlet speaks again, telling Jeanne to hold it aloft.

The second battle is a lot like the first but with more enemies, and the soldier has a lot of HP. After round two, Jeanne gets a new trick. She'll be reminded to hold her hand up again. When she does, she transforms. Her peasant cloches turn into a suit of shining armor. While in this form, Jeanne gets access to new spells, increased stats, and the most OP move in gaming: Godsend. Godsend activates when Jeanne gets a kill, and it lets her to act again. I got to three times in a row in a later fight tonight. It makes even me want to pray. Despite being so strong, Liana died and didn't get the extra EXP from the end of battle spoils. Gotta keep your characters alive!

We cut to the next morning, and our three party members have scrounged up some gear for their journey. It's as basic as you can get, and it's not even enough to fully deck out everyone... Regardless, it's better than the stick Liana had. Seeing the English soldier command demons last night has created an intense hatred for the English in the heart of Jeanne. She wants to join the army and help get them out of France, her homeland! Liana has no home, so she's just gonna follow Jeanne. Roger is an amnesiac, so he's also got nowhere else to go. Before they leave, they overlook their village one last time. Jeanne sheds a tear, pulls out a dagger, and cuts off all of her hair. It was down to her back, but now it doesn't even reach her hair. And she left the sides, so it's really bad. Why, girl, why? I think it was at this point where we get a scene with Henry VI (?) and the Duke of Bedford. In the real world, the Duke's name is John, so I'm just gonna call him that. Henry is playing with a cat (I think it's stuffed), and he's clearly insane. John informs him that his plan failed, and Henry doesn't get that upset. He sent weaklings, so what did he expect? Both try to take the blame.

From Domremy, they head north to Vaucouleurs. The scene starts in the middle of Jeanne trying to join, but she's not allowed. Not only is she a peasant with no fighting experience, but that whole "vagina" thing tends to make its user weak. Jeanne tries to argue that she should be allowed to join because she has a magical armlet that talks, but the recruiter considers that a third strike against her. Suddenly, a soldier enters the room to inform them that the English are attacking Neufchateu. Unfortunately, there are no soldiers for the General to send as they're all preoccupied with another plan elsewhere. But we'll learn more about that later... Because Jeanne really hates the English, she runs out to help the town. Before the camera leaves the room, the guy in charge asks two people to be in town: Jean and Bertrand.

As we get to Neufchateu, we hear screaming from the church. We all look over to see a man and woman being assaulted by an English Soldier. But there's a small squad of demons before us. Jeanne tries to transform, but it doesn't last long enough to get even a single attack in. She's stunned and feels helpless unarmored, which leaves her wide open for a fish's spear attack. It misses, but then another spear comes from behind the fish. This is Jean, and I already hate that he and Jeanne share the same name. Bertrand comes from behind us, and they join the team.

We have twelve turns to end the battle, but the mobs are as strong as before, so it's not a concern. Jean has a spear, meaning he can attack from two panels away. We also learn about hotspots, Burning Auras, which appear behind an attacked enemy. When we stand on them, it'll vastly boost our damage output. I think it's there to entourage surrounding a single target, which you should already do anyway. When we kill the final soldier, a man will come out from behind the church. It's the same guy we saw before, but the woman with him is dead. Out of grief, he jumps off the cliff (I think). The team is sitting on the stairs, and Jeanne is besides herself. Her amulet failed her, and she's nowhere near as strong enough to help her countrymen. She feels powerless and tries to break the armlet. Roger tries to cheer her up and reminds her that she saved him, but Jeanne hears her armlet talk again. It tells her to go to Nancy. And just like that, she snaps out of it.

Between Vaucouleurs and Nancy is the Forest of Fraude. As we approach, Liana laughs at how carefree the frog is. She's named it Cuisses, which is thigh armor. This annoys Jeanne, who's a super serious woman. She only wants to make the English pay and can't bring herself to laugh or have a better personality at this point. Deeper in the forest are more English Soldiers. We come upon them assailing a nobleman and his single guard, and Jeanne prepares for battle!

If the nobleman dies, we fail the mission. So bring whoever you have equipped with Cure over to him. If you haven't bothered with skills yet, now is probably the time to do so. We also get a tutorial about the Fire Emblem-esq triangle thingy, but it doesn't seem that vital at the moment. I split my party into two: Jean, Bertrand, and Liana went right, while Jeanne and Roger stayed left to distract the mage. Watch out for her, and don't get surrounded. Keep the nobleman healed, and you should be fine. He will die if you don't save him! Sadly, we can't do anything about his friend. Should Jeanne transform, we'll hear him mention that "she has the same power." Wonder what that means...

After the battle, we'll mourn the loss of the guard, and the noblemen will ask about the armlet. Before Jeanne can answer, though, another knight will join us. Jean and Bertrand fired a signal to let people know we were here, and the garrison knights were quick to act. The knight takes the nobleman away, and we automatically head to Nancy. There we meet the Duke of Lorraine. Before we talk to him, we see the noblemen leaving. We don't get to speak to him, though. The Duke summoned us here because he heard that we were in possession of the armlet. He had hoped we could use it to heal him of his ailment, but the talk with the nobleman, Giles, has changed that. "Another addition years to an old man's life means nothing to France." Instead, he asks us to fight for France!

That night, Roger has a nightmare. He looks like Zack from Final Fantasy VII in anime form, by the way. He's on a table surrounded by futuristic machinery, which wakes him up. He sees Jeanne staring out the window and comments that she looks like she hasn't slept in days. She hasn't because of all that's been going on. She's become unsure of herself, though, and wonders if she should fight. They hear a knocking on the door, and Gilles' voice calls out. It's been a long night for me, and I've forgotten what he said, but he manages to reassure Jeanne that what she's doing is correct. She will join the fight at Chiron, which the General in Vaucouleurs mentioned when he turned us down. We say farewell to the Duke, who reminds us that we're also fighting for God. The path to Chiron goes through the Soir Valley, but I'll do that...

...tomorrow!

Hey, you know what's harder to remember than Japanese names? French names!

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