I did this for video games, so I really should do this for music. And thus, I am!
What makes a good album? Wicked guitars, smooth vocals, meaningful lyrics, and sexy drum beats, obviously, but how do I go about grading that?
I'm just gonna wing it!
Music is an objective thing. I'm not big on pop and despise new country. I doubt I'll ever listen to rap, either. So, just like my game blueprint, this will likely only work for Metal but expect some cousin genres here as well. If Richard Wagner or Michael Jackson is revived and releases new material, expect me to write about the decomposing composer. Ya know, titans of the industry. Also, I'm a Swifty!
But how do I grade?
1.) Skill
This feels self explanatory as it's the basic blocks of musical enjoyment. Are the guitars chuggy? Does the singer have their melodies or growls on point? Do the drums drive like I like? The best hands get two points, mediocre ones get one, and emo hands strive for zero.
2.) Variation
So you've written an album that's ten songs long? Rad! Are they distinct songs, or are they the same thing for forty five minutes? I have an issue with most power metal acts because every single song sounds just like the previous one! Fun fact, this can also be done within a track. Thanks, SLAYER!
3.) Banger Counts
Earworms!!!!
- 3.1) WTF is a banger?
I'll be honest, bangers are a feeling. It could be a song that sticks out, and you put down whatever you're doing to listen. Whether it be because the guitars just hit differently or the lyrics call out to something beyond my comprehension. Or maybe everything just melodizes perfectly. It doesn't have to be a song I think is magic, but the track is just on another level, regardless. One gets ya a point, but more is better.
4.) Replayability
Am I gonna come back to this whole album ever again? I heard a lot of great albums last year, but I don't know if I'll ever listen to them again? I never felt compelled to give their back catalog a go, either. Excalion was great, but I've forgotten I ever heard it. Ignea, however...
5.) The extra stuff
Is this album too short or, likely, too long? Is it amateurish from a seasoned band, or is it sparking a new trend in the industry? If it's a concept album, does it make sense, or is it dumb?
Every category is out of two, so I'm grading out of ten. Let's see how everything could look with some reviews from last year!
Katatonia - Sky Void of Stars
Skill: Progressive metal acts will likely get top points, as they display a lot of technical aptitude. It's kinda the thing that separates them from other acts. Katatonia is no exception. 2/2
Variation: Every song is filled with so many movements and is different than other tracks on the album. The answer is "HEFL, yes"! 2/2
Bangers: Five, officially... 2/2
Replayability: ...but I want to listen to every song again, and I'm gonna. 2/2
Extra: The length is great. It's their best work yet. It doesn't try to be dumb. 2/2
Total score- 10/10
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Gorillaz - Cracker Island
Skill: I don't know if it's high caliber, but it's fun. 2/2
Variation: It starts strong, gets soulful, and ends funky. 2/2
Bangers: 6! 2/2
Replayability: I am the 0.7 percent! 2/2
Extra: Good length from a strong band and keeps their goofy lore intact. 2/2
Score - 10/10
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Avatar - Dance Devil Dance
Skill: Middling. Some of the songs don't hit for me. 1/2
Variation: There's a good amount of it between tracks, and the album, as a whole, works well enough. 2/2
Bangers: 4. 2/2
Replayability: It even made me want to listen to more Avatar. 2/2
Extra: Good length and no fluff. It's carried by the Bangers, though. 1/2
Score: 8/10
...
Sorcerer - Reign of the Reaper
Skill: I remember everything being mid. 1/2
Variation: I think these guys were a straight thrash band. 0/2
Bangers: 0/2
Replayability: I casually listened to the album once and didn't want to return. 0/2
Extra: Can you tell this is low? 0/2
Score: 1/10
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Frozen Crown - Call of the North
Skill: Power metal acts are really good with their instruments. 2/2
Variation: Power metal acts stick to one thing. 1/2
Bangers: 0/2
Replayability: I think I listened to this twice? 1/2
Extra: Meh...0/2
Score: 4/10
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Avenged Sevenfold - Life is but a Dream...
Skill: The lead singer's whine prevented me from getting two minutes into the album. 0/2
Variation: Nope. 0/2
Bangers: 0/2
Replayability: I tried three times, but the singer can't sing anymore. 0/2
Extra: I want negatives... 0/2
Score: 0/10; the worst album all year.
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I'm weirded out that Avatar didn't get a nine. It makes me wonder if I'm gonna have issues filling everything out? Regardless, this will be a work in progress, but I'm not gonna go back through like I have with my video game scores. I don't even know if this will last. But here's the basis, and here's something from this year!
Saxon - Hell, Fire, and Damnation
Skill: Saxon has been doing this since the 70s. I've never gotten into them, but this is so good. 2/2
Variation: Chugging guitars, solos, power ballads; big fan. 2/2
Bangers: The first banger of the year goes to Madam Guillotine. 1/2
Replayability: Maybe it's because of the dearth of new music so far, but I've come back to this a few times. It doesn't quite hit with me, though, but check back to see if this changes. 1/2
Extra: 42 minutes, and it's the best album from a band from the 70s! 2/2
Score: 8/10* That's a bit higher than I thought, but it's on the cusp of what I thought. It's definitely a great album, so I'll see if it holds up!
Score: 8/10
There's some good stuff coming out soon, so let's begin this journey soon...
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