From Jersey to San Diego...
Tony Hawk's Underground was a game I spent plenty of time and frustration with back in the day. But I freakin' loved it! But it's been nearly two decades since I last played it. I had it at 48 points on my giant sheet of game reviews, but it can't be THAT good? After the abomination of Vandal Hearts, I suddenly hate RPGs, so I need something different. So let's two birds this stuff and see if the GOAT skater game holds up.
"So, there I was, fixing my board. It's hella ghetto shredded, so it needs the work. Suddenly, my old pal, Eric Sparrow, showed up, knocking on my window. I've told him 1000 times not to do that. A girl needs her privacy, and he looks wicked creepy every time he does that crap. But I'll let it slide this time because Eric told me Chad Muska was in town for a shoot. Why Muska would come to this hole in Jersey to film is beyond me, but I HAD to be there. And maybe I could show him my own skills. So I finished up my board work and met him outside.
He lost his board already!? The tweakers jumped him and yanked his board, throwing it all over the street. They messed up his knee, so I HAD to get everything. It's not easy climbing over houses, but I did. After I got his stuff, we warmed up around town. We skated the old swimming pool outside the high school. It was set up for Muska's show, so why wouldn't we? The drainage ditch was also fancied up, but I spent plenty of time at our makeshift half pipe between the houses. Why did our tiny town feel so skateboard accessible? Is it because Mike Vallely is from here?
After getting stretched, Chad Muska's showcase started. He mostly just showed off his pimped out SUV's sound system, so I figured now's the time. I started showing off everything I could: street skills, vert tricks, manuals, and grinds. I can do them all! And Muska noticed! He said I showed promise and even replaced my gnarled board! AAAHHHHHH!!! Finally, he told me to talk to Stacy Peralta.
I headed over to the skate shop the next day and saw a dude meditating on the postbox. That was Stacy Peralta, and he told me that if I wanted to sign with him, I'd have to impress the skaters already with him. And I did just that! After reminding everyone who I was, I was in. I wasn't fully involved in the way of free swag, but I have my entry point into the biz!
Eric, myself, and a bunch of other locals had a good night planned, but the junkies across the street ruined it. They stole a bunch of our stuff, so I decided to get it back. It was my street, and I knew it the best, after all. I snuck my way over to their base by climbing over roofs, but Eric beat me there? And he's out in the open? This was the first time I thought how sketchy he was. Out of revenge, he torched the drug car...
We fled and found a place to crash, but our peace was short lived. They knew Eric destroyed their car and wanted revenge. I called in some favors for him to get across the bridge in town. The 5-0 had it blocked for no reason! He had to bully the train guard, but we needed to get some tickets out of town. We had to escape the tweakers, and Peralta would make us full members if we showed him something new. Something not from Jersey. And it was off to Manhattan!
As we did in Jersey, we dominated New York! We shredded the riverfront, manualed the office park, and did a little bit of vandalism to the monument... We also helped out a local nut vendor by giving him a monopoly on his nuts. And shout out to the dudes I filmed!
After Eric filmed me jumping over a burning taxi, we sent our tapes to Stacy, and he loved them. He told us we had to hit up the Tampa Pro-Am and even hooked us up with his vintage tour bus to get there. Eric and I walked into the park, but I wasn't allowed in! The snake never turned in my paperwork! Eric got into the competition, and I was locked out. But I'm a badass and knew I could figure something out.
And I did.
The man, the myth, the legend himself, Tony Hawk, was outside of the building in the practice park. He wanted to see if anyone could show him something cool, so I put on my best trick line ever!!! Hawkman got me into the competition, where I did what I always do! I won the street competition and got a perfect score in the vert. It was myself vs Sparrow in the finals. He got what was coming to him: embarrassment. I doubt he'll try to screw me again...
With my win, all the board companies wanted me. I joined up with Element because Muska giving me a board meant so much to me, and it was off to San Diego for us.
I met the team manager, Todd, who was having a snack before going to dinner. But he told me we were here to take sick footage for the magazines, so I was officially a part of a skate team. But I wasn't done yet..."
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