Castlevania: Rondo of Blood...sorta

Or why I hate whips.

So, fun fact. Way back it the beginning of the Covid pandemic, I was going to play Castlevania Dracula Chronicles X for the PSP. I played it for a few hours and died a lot. I don't like dying, so I got frustrated and opted to buy a new PS2 controller to play Final Fantasy IX. I wanted to play a Castlevania game because Simon is one of my best characters in Super Smash Bros. I know he's not in this game, but I doubt I'd enjoy his games. They're too old (and hard). So the question is: will I trade for Richter?

The opening cinematic has a guy speaking an unknown language, telling us about evil. In the background are several cloaked figures around a naked woman, who's subsequently sacrificed to summon a great villain. Dracula!

We start with our main hero, Richter Belmont, driving a horse drawn wagon to a small village. Why, though? En route, he's attacked by Death! We only need to hit him twice, but this is a good enough tutorial for the game. Richter is painfully slow, and his whip is slightly annoying. It's not fast and feels a bit delayed. Its hitbox is tiny, but you can get used to it. But he's really sluggish!

We make it to a small town in Romania, and I just realized it's the village around Dracula's castle. That's why he's here! We fight a small horde of undead that are even slower than Richter. It's a great way to nail down the combat, which is all this game is. We also get our first secondary weapon, a knife. Secondary weapons have two attacks, both of which consume hearts. Knives' primary attack (O) is a ninja throw. Their special attack (X) is a barrage of knives. It's pretty great, but it's my least favorite item. Other such secondaries are a book, holy water, an ax throw, and a magic cross shuriken.

After this first scene, we see a woman running through the village. This is Annette, and she's related to Richter Belmont somehow. I think they're a couple. A cloaked man has blocked her in and wants to kill her as he has with the rest of the village. But then a voice tells him she's special. Instead of killing her, Annette is abducted. We're back to Belmont, who's still fighting through the town. Some of the mobs are stronger or faster now, but the basics of the game are down. He comes upon another woman in a similar situation as Annette. Maria, though, suffers the same fate. And that's pretty much the entire story of the game. Believe it or not, it's several times the amount of Rondo of Blood has.

Castlevania: Dracula Chronicles X (or Dracula X Chronicles) is a PSP remake of Rondo of Blood from 1993. It plays the same, has remastered music, and has updated graphics. I have no clue if it's harder, but I had to cheat A LOT. Like, an embarrassing amount of save state scumming. Richter swings his whip through eleven distinct areas, fighting difficult bosses, avoiding tricky traps, and hordes of undead who utilize a variety of tactics. All the while saving three "maidens" as he tries to kill Dracula like his ancestor Simon did. Oh, and finding wall chickens. You only need to fight through nine levels, with four alternate levels found early on if you explore well enough. The game isn't linear, and you can snake your way through them as you advance. You can even go back to find more secrets or fight different bosses. The basic gameplay loop is solid and pretty fun. It's the Dark Souls of the '90s.

The game's secondary task is to save the women. Doing so grants you the power to break certain walls or a second playable character. The walls are insignificant, but they're the way to unlock the true ending. There are three depending on who you save. Saving Maria opens up another playable character, and she's a lot of fun. She's faster, more agile, and can reach areas Richter can't. I really want to replay the game again to experience her and see if the ending changes. Apparently, finding the other girls as her offers different dialogue.

The unlockables are mostly just music tracks, but there are two other things. The first I found was the original version of Rondo of Blood. If you're not into the new features, you can experience the original PC Engine version. You can also find an updated version of the Castlevania game I actually wanted to play, Symphony of the Night!

Yep. I was going to play SotN this week, but I decided to play its (apparent) prequel first. Doing so informed me there's a more modern copy of the game I really wanted to experience. SotN is more RPG like and has even more exploration, so it's right up my alley. Expect that in a day or two, but let's finish my review of Rondo of Blood in an old school point system.

Gameplay: Solid and polished. I feel like the platforming could have been better at times, and hitting certain enemies can be a hassle, though. It's also excruciatingly difficult. I thoroughly enjoyed exploring and finding secrets. 6/10

Graphics/Art Direction: Top notch for the PSP. And they still give that retro vibe. You can easily tell each enemy from another, and there's not much pallet swamping happening despite the large variety of enemies. Each of the eleven areas are unique, and even the sub locations are different from their neighbors. 10/10

Music: Action packed and perfect for hunting vampires. Many tracks are well remastered versions of previous songs, and I think this has the best version of the iconic Bloody Tears track. It's not my style, but it works. 10/10

Story: Basic and barren. You have some at the start, when you find a maiden, and at the very end. It's as bare bones as can be, but, even at the time, that's not good enough. 5/10

Charm: Surprisingly dense. For a remaster, Konami added some fun stuff to make it worth playing. The music player, a second character, more story, new endings, and the fact the original version is here makes this a must play for RoB fans. And since Symphony of the Night is also here... 8/10

Total score: 39/50

 

But for the question I posed at the start: we'll see how I like Alucard before a final decision. 

In some ways, it's perfect.

Final Fantasy V is a bit of a forgotten Final Fantasy. Its Japanese excursion was delayed by seven years and was bundled with another game that strongly overshadowed it. It was smashed between two games that took the JRPG world by storm. FFV isn't as straightforward as either of them and is definitely lacking in nearly all areas compared to those two. It's got a strong middle child vibe that is neither good nor bad, but it's certainly worth playing. But not the PS version or the SNES fan translation.

What does Final Fantasy V do that sucks? Honestly? Not much. I'm having a hard time comping up with things I hate, but that's not to say they don't exist.

The music. Admittedly, it's not bad per se, but it's really bland. There's nothing all that memorable about any of the tracks, and I don't recall any of them. Battle on the Big Bridge being an exception, albeit still repetitive, there's nothing that got stuck in my head. And I doubt I'll ever randomly get a track stuck in my head. There are three world map songs, but none of them made an impact. I'm struggling to say anything more because I don't want to put it down. The dungeon themes fit, the town songs are relaxing (but limited in scope), and the overworld tracks give me some wanderlust; everything fits. But this isn't Uematsu's best work. "What?," though, is a terrible song. I will consider dying on this hill. The biggest issue might be the best tracks are underplayed, while the worst songs are far too common. I'm listening through the entire OST on Youtube now, and I'm enjoying them, but I have no recollection of ever hearing most of these songs. Music is vital to an RPG, so a mediocre attempt at an OST is a big negative.

The plot suffers a lot from random actions that quickly need to be fixed. X-Death is going to kill everyone. Luckily, Krille shows up at the perfect moment to cast a simple Bolt spell to save us. Reina is dying from eating a dragon flower. Luckily, Krille shows up at the perfect moment with a potion. I'm still not sure what cured her the first time? How many times does an earthquake bring about good fortune? And don't even get me started on that stupid twig scene.

On the flip side, what does Final Fantasy V do well?

The system is the best in the franchise, even better than Tactics'. And it's not just the job system, but the whole show. But first, let's talk about the job system. Compared to FFIII, it's vastly expanded upon. Job levels no longer equate to minuscule stat buffs but to actual, "tangible" skills. When you get your ABPs, you learn something you can carry over to another vocation. Before, you were just that job, and starting over again weakens you. It's as though you were never a monk or dragoon to begin with if you switched over to a black mage. And, when you're ready to face the endgame stuff, you can make your character as you see fit. All the passives you've mastered are automatically applied to the freelancer/bare job, meaning everything you've worked for has value! And then, you can choose two of the skills that you've built your character around. I could finally get the dragoon/time mage combo I've always wanted. And I didn't even need to fully master either of them to do so! I did finish dragoon, though.

Along the same lines, I liked how so many bosses could be cheased. That isn't an uncommon feature in RPGs or video games, but it's usually done through esoteric, nonsensical equipment layouts or a too deep understanding of timing and luck to accomplish. You do need some idea of what levels or types your opponents are, but if you're stuck on a boss forever, there's probably a fun way to get past it. As a child of the internet, there were so many times I couldn't defeat a boss, so I'd go to forums. With FFV, there's a  decent shot someone could say, "just use X," and I'd be free. It's great for when you simply want a story.

And, again, that's it. So that leaves a lot of stuff I haven't talked about. So what's my feeling on them?

The characters are hit-and-miss. I don't feel like Bartz adds much to the plot. So he's the son of someone from the last group that saved the world? He's not exactly noble, courageous, or strong with any personality traits. He's not even a chosen one. At the start of the games, Bartz doesn't even want to join Galuf and Reina. At least Vann wanted to be a part of the story!
Krille exists only so Galuf can die. Her only trait is "granddaughter" of someone from the last group that saved the world. Oh, and she can talk to animals. Does Krille speak beaver? I guess that's something. Every time she opens her mouth, it's to remind us of how rad Galuf was. She doesn't even become Queen at the end of the game! Her own kingdom doesn't want her?
Galuf is a great character. I don't like his amnesia shtick at the start of the game, though. Maybe it's because twenty years of that trope has ruined it for me, but it's real deus ex-y here. But, being a forgiving man, let's overlook it for a moment. It is a method for an old man to grow. We can experience his change when many of his ilk are set in their ways by that age. At least they are in video games. He's had his quest to save the world, and his personality isn't likely to change based on the terrible events he's already seen. But, by losing his memories, he can be shocked and grow as a person. And then, we can compare him between worlds and how he interacted with his friends and granddaughter.
Reina and Faris are a bit too much alike. Faris has one of the more interesting twists in the franchise and is supposed to be a counterpoint to the regal Reina. However, both are very similar in nature. Faris is described as the brash and confident type, but Reina is the one who's rushing into danger first. Reina jumps into the warp portal to Galuf's world before anyone else and does all she can to save the two dragons. They are sisters, so I suppose there'd be some similarities, but you'd think the vast differences in upbringing would make them less alike? It's a nature vs. nurture thing. I'm glad both are emotional with their animal friends, but make one more timid or unsure of herself. Maybe if Faris' big plot scenes hadn't been as front loaded?

Ignoring my gripe with the plot from above, it's a basic story. There's nothing inherently wrong with that, but it shows how most of the dev work was put into the battle system. It's a great system, but I'm a plot guy. At least X-Death has a decent backstory. He's an amalgamation of sealed demons absorbed by a tree. It works for me and 1994. You have to overlook a lot of plot holes, like how does a tree know about the Void and its connection to Enou? Who really is Enou? I know he's a boss in the GBA bonus dungeon, but I feel like he's more important than this version lets on. But ya know what, he wasn't the shocking final boss like Zemus or Necron, so I'll let it slide. X-Death is a great boss!

Final Fantasy V isn't a bad game, but it is very ...meh-y. The franchise took a massive turn after FFX in terms of a lot, so if we discuss just those ten, FFV falls right in the middle of several things. The numbering, obviously, but also in terms of quality. The games I'd rank higher than it is much better, but the games I'd rank lower kinda suck. FFV isn't a masterpiece, but it's a pile of garbage. Writing this review is starting to give me writer's block because there's not much to say about it. I can write 2000 words about FFX because I loved it, but I can also write 2000 words about FFXII because I hated it. But with the middle piece, I'm tapping out here.

V/X Perfectly in balance...

Evil Yggdrasil

The last floor, the last battle, the last dungeon music.

We climb to the top of the castle and are teleported to an area unlike anything else. It appears we're on crystalline platforms that form a rocky path. The encounter rate is pretty low, and I didn't see a large variety of mobs. But you can find movers on the later floors, which give 200 ABP a go, so if you're still grinding... But let's just talk about the important bits.

Gilgamesh is still alive and looking for a way out of the Void. We see him standing on a teleporter that takes us deeper into the area, so we need to fight him. It's mostly just a reason to steal the Genji Shield. I think we need to deal some damage to him, but after a few rounds, he'll begin to talk to us. Gilly thought we were ghosts at the start of the battle but realizes that we're the real deal. A lot happens because the team doesn't talk back to him. Gilly thinks about becoming our fifth member but ends up just exiting the battle to look for a way out. We're defiantly allies now, though. This only happens had you opened the chest in X-Death's castle.

All the treasure chests in this area contain things for ninjas to throw. I didn't put Throw on Faris, so they're pointless. There is, however, one chest protected by a superboss. On the third section, down a long flight of stairs, is Shuyin. I didn't even bother. His difficulty is legendary in the fandom, and I'm a little baby boy, so I'm just gonna skip him. Congrats on being in X-2!

Shortly after him is a fork in the road. The path up takes us to the end, but there's another defended save point if you take the left path. The last X-Death minion is waiting for us and proclaims his immortality before attacking us. He tells us the barriers around him make him immortal, and he's correct. Probably shouldn't have notified us that, my dude. So just kill the four things around him. The barriers have reflect on them and constantly bounce Holy and Flare off themselves. They occasionally use the -ga spells as well, but the damage is negligible. Use Guardian to defend against them and Haste2 to kill them faster. Bahamut makes quick work of the four of them, leaving Necrophage open to attack. I don't remember what he did, but he really disliked being hit with Holy. Excalibur alone did over 7000 damage. Just when we have him on the ropes, our backup shows up. Gilgamesh arrives for reasons I don't fully understand. When he appears, try stealing from him. He has the Genji Armor to complete the set! We can't harm Necro at this point, so you might as well. But can we kill Gilgamesh? Either way, Gilly says words of encouragement towards us.
To Krille, he says how awesome Galuf was.
He urges Faris to find someone to love and to act like a woman. She doesn't appreciate it.
He asks Reina to stop spoiling the animals but keep being nice to everyone.
Finally, he wishes he and Bartz could have had a one-on-one.
Gilgamesh uses Exploder on Necrophage, causing both of them to die. The final save point appears, and we can be fully prepared for the final showdown!

We walk the path towards X-Death, who asks why we took so long to get here. He has an origin story, which is super rad, but he's essentially just an evil-for-the-sake-of-evil BBG, so we see him do more evil things. He turns into his true form, a massive world tree, and uses his newfound skills. XD has gained full control over the Void and uses it to eat up Bal Castle, the Pirate's Cave, and the Catapult. He also sucks us in... Weren't we already in the Void? The four of us float around unconscious until we're woken up by someone. It's Dorgan! Behind him come Zeza and Kelga before Galuf makes a triumphant return. The four Dawn Warriors proclaim that only the Warriors of Light can save the world and declare that now is our time as the main menu theme begins to play. But they're not alone! King Tycoon urges his daughters on as the five of them appear beside X-Death. They attack him, which sets us free. At this point, we can leave the Void, but that's dumb. The final battle to save the universe must begin!

X-Death is weak. I think he tries to inflict debuffs on us, but with the Genji gear and two ribbons, they don't stick. Either that, or we just avoided everything. Guardian and Haste2 anyway because X-Death is surprisingly powerful, after all.

As he dies, the massive tree wonders how he could have lost. But then he uses, I imagine, more Void powers to transform himself in the first multi formed final boss in the Final Fantasy.

Neo X-Death is no joke. He has four forms, but I couldn't figure out if they have different AI patterns. Sshot is terrible here because his body parts randomly aren't targetable for some reason, causing them to naturally miss. For some reason, though, Bahamut still succeeds. Sshot can also go after already dead parts. Poor Faris... She was my DPS for the longest time, but she fails us at the very end. NXD uses Flare, so keep Shell/Guardian up at all times. He also likes to use Vacwave, but three of my characters have shields, which seems to have a 100% block rate for the move. Poor Faris... But that's not all! He can also use a spell similar to Maelstrom, so be on the lookout. His worst attack is probably Meteo. It's supposed to randomly target all four characters for four damage ticks, but it tends to hit only two a cast, probably killing at least one. I had far fewer phoenix downs than I thought. I was also running low on elixirs because this battle takes a long time. What stretches it out and wastes MP is the NXD can use Dispell to remove the buffs. His last attack is something that only Faris fears. Be on the lookout for Grand Cross. NXD will charge it up when he starts shaking (I think). It inflicts a random status ailment on Faris. I saw zombie, but I think it killed her the next time. Target one point at a time, but if you can cast Bahamut, go for it. The one in the back is vulnerable to magic, so don't be afraid to spam spells if you've got MP to spare. When that last guy is alive is when the Meteor spam begins. Try to keep all four characters alive because the ending sequence changes slightly based on who survived. I won't go into details since I don't vividly remember, but it's a pretty cool feature, nonetheless, even if it's pretty basic.

Neo X-Death slowly fades into whatever is beyond oblivion as a Star Warsesq word scroll appears on screen. It tells us how this universe was created: the crystals formed out of the Void by an unknown entity. I wonder what this "entity" was? We're reminded of the crystal's power as we see that time is circular. One day, everything will return to the Void, but new spirits will "give birth to light."

The Warriors of Light are seen floating in space until Bartz wakes up. He wakes up Krile, and they rise the Tycoons. Propelled by the power of the crystal shards, (I think) they can move at will through the Void, which is still very much here. Is it because the crystals are gone? Suddenly, Krille is shot forward, and her crystals disperse from her, reminding us again about the power they gave us. The same happens to Faris, Reina, and Bartz.

We cut to the planet and see crystals forming in that awful pyramid, Leviathan's waterfall, and the dwarves hole. The Void opens up again, but not to suck. We see the Ancient Library, Lix, and Tycoon return. "The world is being reborn." Our crystals weren't dead. Bartz thanks his teammates, but Krille has to remind us of Galuf. Reina asks if the wind will return to Tycoon, and a voice tells her, "yes." King Tycoon and the Dawn Warriors appear! We all have a nice reunion where our predecessors say we aren't supposed to be here. Their power summons a dragon as the screen goes black before flickering in as the last crystal reforms where we fought Odin beneath Bal Castle.

"Grandpa!" Mid enters the Catapult to tell Cid they've got a letter from Krille. It overlays a flashback, of sorts, about the last year since they stopped X-Death. The dragon brought them to Bal, where they were tired but kicked iff the sleep to travel. We see Lix and Walz before the moogles dance around Krille in their village. "It's so peaceful."
Reina and Faris are reigning in Tycoon.
But one of them isn't thrilled to be there.
Krille is wondering who the ruler of Bal's to be because, apparently, she ain't it? She wants to be, though.
Bartz spent time with his parents before traveling again.
Boko and Koko had three kids at the Pirates Cave.
But Krille's all alone. She laments her busy friends and still misses her grandpa.
Cid tells her how strong she is as we view various scenes from our journey to see how much we've grown. For some reason, one of Bartz' was Gill fighting X-Death. The moments are the more iconic ones worth remembering otherwise.

Finally, Krille is before the Elder Tree and offers a wreath in remembrance of Galuf. She says how screwed we'd all be without his strength in that moment. She still misses him but pledges to be strong even if she's lonely. Some of the important Galuf scenes are played just as they were for the other four now. Then we hear Bartz tell her she's not alone as the other three Warriors drop from the tree. Why were they there? They remind her we're friends and playfully mock her for crying. Faris assumes Galuf is laughing at this as birds fly by to make a flower field appear from nothing. Everyone agrees to protect the crystals like the others before. Reina suddenly hears something. Is it Galuf's voice? Whatever it is, it's carried by the crystals and their power. They all run off to their chocobos or dragon as the credits roll on as they roam across this peaceful world.

We get one final look at all the job skills we've learned, exp gained, final stats, current job, and even our weapon against various bosses. The words "The End" comically roll around on screen, but the Playstation version has another questionable CGI scene. It's more scenes we've seen, but it's kinda cool.

Finally, the Final Fantasy Overture plays as, and they mean it this time, we see the words we play to see are on screen:

"The End."

Preamble to the End

For a straightforward path, this sure was long.

We've got nine areas to navigate through, and each is pretty different.
The first area is the desert, and it's filled with mobs from around Phoenix Tower. There are sand currents, but they're smaller and easier to follow. We'll reach a door, and nine sealed underlings of X-Death appear to taunt us.
Inside that door is the Ronka Ruins. The mobs are stronger versions of what was in the earth crystal dungeon. Death Dealers are the only thing to worry about as all they do is spam Roulette. Climb across the chains to get to area three.
From the ruins to Moore Forest! The most common enemy is an annoying mushroom and its two friends. They're not hard, but they're annoying. The hard-to-see canopy is back, but the area is small, and chests are easily seen. Our goal is to find the tree with a hole in it, but it's guarded.

The first boss is WoodSprite. If you equip a Wallring on someone, you'll be unkillable due to her AI. Even if you act like normal, she's not very hard. Giving Bartz time magic and learning Guardian was a great idea.

Beyond her are the caves. It's a single path with nothing to note except... Just past the save point is the optional superboss Omega (Weapon). DON'T TOUCH HIM! I cannot stress this enough, but Omega will murder you before you can even act. I'd avoid him. You can pass by just fine, but I had to tiptoe the path below him.

The next place is a single room library. The book on the desk is the boss, Apprehendr.

The cheese strategy is to use Ifrit. Ifrit scares Aps, giving us a free round. Ifrit has a low MP cost, so we can spam this to avoid his terrible attacks. Alternatively, get ready to treat toad. The books on the shelves give us backstory on Omega and another superboss I'll avoid later, but Panda's book is now a switch. Open it to advance, or close it to go back.
The Tower is a single path connected by invisible walkways. There are two enemies, and the only thing of note is the ninjas have high evasion.
The castle is densely packed and sucks. All the mobs are annoying, so go down the stairs in the back. There's treasure that doesn't mean anything in the right and left paths. There's a save point in the prison, but we have to fight for it. All the way to the right is the blue mage Azulmagia.

The cheese strat is to use Self Destruct on him. Azul will learn this move and immediately use it. Two characters are dead, but you can revive them on the save point that appears. If you do it normally, good luck. This guy is pretty tough.

The two chests are blocked by old men who turn into birds. The old man form can erase a character, and the birds ate vulnerable to Odin. Neither of the chests are worthwhile. Freeing the woman from her cell summons another boss.

Catastrophe is easily cheesed. Keep casting Float, and it'll keep removing it. That's the whole strategy, and you'll win with only that initial Earthquake, which can be avoided by having Float before you open the door. We can talk to the woman, and she'll give you a kiss before climbing the stairs beside her. I sense something's a miss. Following her brings us to the throne room. The path down won't stay open if you go back down, so don't use it. We'll try to leave through the stairs to the left, but an unseen force keeps us here. The woman reveals herself to be Halicarnasis, a minion of XD.

Hali is simple if you know the trick. She'll make everyone a frog, so heal that before buffing up. Summon Carbuncle to negate her strongest attack, Holy, and then never summon again. Summoning results in a counter that did 6000 damage. The rest of their moves are weak, and Protectring's regain negates it. Heal up because there's another boss up the stairs.

Twintania hates Holy. Like, a lot. It'll counter both physical and magical attacks, but I barely noticed. Spamming Holy, Holy Lance, Excalibur, and double lance Sshot resulted in me winning before it began to cast Gigaflare.

Behind Twiny is The Last Floor, which is actually three floors. But this has been a king trek, and there's still more to go. So I'll kill X-Death...

... tomorrow!

Assuming I don't play Smash with my friends... I really like how FFV has so many ways to defeat powerful bosses. It's a great idea I don't see a lot going forward in the franchise. I also forgot to mention we revisit the Mirage Village, but everything is frozen, so what's the point?

Aerith?

Nearly there!

The Phoenix Tower is a thirty floor structure, but the nob variety doesn't reflect it. The floors are short, and the gimmick is obvious. Whenever you reach a floor with a dead end, examine the south wall of the middle pillar. That'll open the way forward. Sometimes the doors are guarded by one of several bosses we've fought. Their stats remain the same, so there's no threat. The fun part about this area is the monsters we find in the urns. There are four of five floors with a hookah pot instead of a treasure chest. Half the time, it'll be money, but the other half is a magic pot enemy. These guys ask for elixirs, which are dropped by the sandworms in the desert. They can ask for multiple, but they reward 100 ABP if you satiate them. The second asked for six, so good luck. I ran out for the last two, which is a bummer. There're no save points, but there's also no boss.

At the top is Reina's dragon, Dragon. Krille interprets his thoughts and informs us he knows he's about the die. That fight against the possessed Reina took it out of him. But our old friend wanted to keep helping us. A flashback scene happens when we learn how the Queen died. She was ill, and the only cure was a dragon's tongue. Reina runs towards the dragon with a knife, but Jalenca catches up. She asks the princess if she truly wants to kill the last dragon, and we have an option. Knowing Reina, I say no. We return to the present, and Dragon jumps off the top. As he falls, he starts to glow red. He ends up becoming the summon Phoenix.

Bahamut is nearby, so let's see if I can get revenge. I got Bartz the important time magic spells, giveing us a huge edge. So Haste2 and Carbuncle make Bahamut a lot easier. Healing can be tricky, so think about giving your blue mage the Aegis Shield to prevent Maelstrom from ruining you. With everyone at level 35 and maxed out jobs, Bahamut's death came faster than expected.

I go around the world to say farewell to my friends. Cid is bugged, so don't talk to Mid. But there's something at the Pirate's Cove. Faris steps to the side and hears Hydra. Bartz and Reina think she's crazy, but Krille hears it too. Hydra says the same things Dragon did and becomes the wind summon to help us. That's all my friends!

I'm done grinding, and I'm ready to end this. Faris and Krille almost maxed monk, and I'll probably finish that up in the final dungeon...

... tomorrow!

Why do the mobs in the tower look like a prototype Aerith? If The Rift isn't too long, I'll be done tomorrow. FFV isn't as great as I remember, but it's been worth the play.

DINGLEBERRY!

What a fun title.

The last tablet gave us access to the Fork Tower, a dungeon where we need to split the party. The game won't tell you this, but the left tower is magical, and the right is physical. The opposite damage type is nerfed. I went two and two, but you might be able to solo one. Regardless, white mage Reina and spellblade Krille went left, while monk Bartz and hunter Faris went right. I ran into one random encounter across both sides, so I have no clue what's here. Both parties have to take the sealed magic at the top at the same time, which the game will do for you. First up is the Minotaur!

He only does physical attacks. That's the only strategy he's got. I made liberal use of potions and elixirs while spamming the attack command. Maybe I should have brought in a blue mage to blind or a way to up evasion and defense? But I didn't. Despite that, I didn't have too many problems. As Minos dies, he'll try to use Holy, but he doesn't have enough MP.

On the otherside is Omniscient. Reflect totally removes the challenge of this guy. It only uses magic, all of which is reflectable. Omni starts with debuffs, so you have time to cast Haste 2. I used Carbuncle, but the effect wears off after a while, so be on the lookout. Even their Flate gets bounced. Both teams automatically return to the world map with the Fork Tower gone. Under it is the catapult and M/Cid.

We'll find Cid being eaten by a machine, but he's fine when we save him. Mid runs in to tell us he's found a way to make an airship into a submarine. This makes no sense, but maybe they just turned the ship into a floating dock? When they're done, Krille and Mid will bond over being raised by grandparents. Why is the sad music playing? Cid blames himself for the state of the world, but all he can do is tinker with machines. They wish us luck on our journey. I feel like I should see them again before leaving.

To the east, under the ocean, is a hole in the planet's crust. It takes us to a place filled with lava, dwarfs, and monsters that aren't worth fighting. Everything down here is called "Unknown," and they suck. Especially the ones vomiting green goop. They'll kill a character as they die. The dwarfs are set pieces, and the button to press is the farthest right. We'll be attacked by more X Death minions, and I'm sick of this challenge. To win, you need to kill all three of them at the same time. Otherwise, one will revive the others and hit you with Magus Sisters' Delta Attack. FFV uses this tactic a lot.

Afterwards, take the sub south of Istory Falls. The cave now takes us towards the waterfall, an easy dungeon and a decent ABP farming place. Nothing is scary, but there is one guy to be wary of. Final Fantasy V doesn't have tonberries, but it does have someone called a dingleberry. They look and function the same, but I killed the one I saw before it reached me. Easy seven ABP! At the bottom is the last lithograph. As we leave, a minion attacks, but we don't fight it. From behind the waterfall comes Leviathan. He kills the lackey, and we can challenge him to get another summon. But he's also optional. Summon Golem and spam lightning spells. Apparently, Levi is supposed to counter, but I don't think I saw it often enough to notice.

But there's another dot on my underwater map. Is that Walz Tower? It is! We have six minutes of breath in us to find whatever is here. Wasn't there a crystal shard we couldn't get! The enemies are shadow versions of random nonsense, but the prize is at the bottom. There's a chest halfway down to refill your timer. At what was once the entrance is the crystal shard, but it's guarded by a mine. Gogo tells us how to defeat it, but can you figure it out? Enjoy the free 50 ABP. Some people swear by the mine job, but I don't.

Lastly tonight, I got the last blue magic spell I care about, Big Guard. All that's left is Bahamut and that strange tower southwest of it. But I'll climb them...

... tomorrow!

I've finished the jobs for everyone but Reina. I opted to make her a monk because she had no HP as a freelancer. I'm hoping to be finished in two days.

Technically side questing.

If you go into the void where Tycoon once was, you're taken to a beach in the N-Zone. Fortunately, you can leave, so these are optional end game quests!

I ended last night at Val, which is just north of Jachol and its cave. If we go to the back of the cave now, we'll end up in a new area. We're on the otherside of the locked door from my ABP grind spot under the castle. In the back of this room is a summon. It tells us it'll join us if we defeat it in a minute. I'm cocky, so I give it a go. Odin is weak to petrify. I tried to kill him through normal means, but he hit back.

I kinda just wandered around for a while because I didn't know where to go. I remembered about the secret village hidden in the forest west of Crescent. There's good armor there, but there's even better magic. While there, I stopped by Crescent. The nearby tower sealed up the landing dock with Cid under it. I tried to save him, but we couldn't get in. Fortunately, I stumbled on the way in.

In the middle of Big Bridge is the Island Shrine. It's a much better dungeon than the last tablet tower. The gargoyles are easier to kill now, and there are two save points. We're gonna need them. The encounter rate is pretty high, so we'll run out of MP a lot. Other than the druids, though, nothing is too scary. Pretty tanky, though. The boss can be annoying, though. There are four of him, but only one is the real one. Don't use attacks that hit everyone, or you'll get three counters. For some reason, attacking them one by one won't trigger the counter. So go slow. It's kinda lame and tedious but not exceptionally tough. When you grab the tablet, the path inside Fork Tower, where the strongest magics are found, will open up. But I suspect that's a long haul area. Lastly, I tried to battle Bahamut. It didn't go well. Let's save the Ids...

... tomorrow!

Where's my submarine?

This dungeon sucks!

Bring holy waters. Lots and lots of holy waters.

We're leaving our princesses in Tycoon, so it's the (grand) children of the last great world warriors for a while. Or is it? Past Tule is where yet another earthquake happens. Bartz, Krille, and Boko fall into a hole. Krille blames Bartz for going too fast, and he blames Boko. Regardless, we're stuck in a cave. After we bumble around, the funny music plays. A rope begins to descend, but we can't grab it. It always moves away just as we're about to climb. We hear a laugh, and the rope stays put. Boko grabs and is pulled up, and the humans follow. It's Faris! She didn't find being a royal to suit her, so she left. She rejoins, so we're a party of three now. As we climb back onto our steed, Krille complains of a thorn she stepped on. Even if we return, we still can't talk to Reina. The pirates will tell us how Faris got her name if we see them.

So it's back to the trail. East of Karnac is a dead end, but there's a cave just before it. Inside is an upside down Sage Gill. Bartz is nicer this time and helps him up, and we learn more lore. 1000 years ago, Bartz' and Krille's worlds were one. During that time, a man (?) named Enou rose to power and conquered the world. To defeat him, twelve warriors used the sealed weapons in Kazus to seal him in the N-Zone, an area that formed when the world was split. Suddenly, Krille complains of the thorn again. The thorn turns into a branch, which then transforms into X-Death! Yep, it's that scene. XD hid himself as a tree for reasons I don't fully understand. Anyway, XD and Gill have a fight out of DBZ after he easily disposes of us. Gill isn't strong enough, so XD shows his new power. A black gate appears over Tycoon, and we see Reina and the rest of the castle sucked into it. XD has mastered the power of the X-zone, and he's pulled Tycoon into nothingness. XD goes off to gain more control over it. He does something else, and we're thrown to the Library of the Ancients.

Gil joins the librarians and the scholars from Surgate to reform a book. Each world got half 1000 years ago, which we've seen. The Sealed Book tells how they defeated Enou, the twelve weapons, and secret magic. To gain them, we need to take the book to four locations and open the dungeon to find a stone tablet. One such site is to the west, in the desert. En route, we pass the Elder Tree that's slowly growing back.

In the middle of the desert is the worst dungeon in Final Fantasy. It's an eight floored maze filled with many puzzles, pitfalls, and the largest variety of mobs yet. All with a painfully high encounter rate. And with only three characters... Don't bother with the northeast treasure; just begin the climb. Go find a map online. I almost rage quit here because I was so frustrated, confused, and lost. Nearly every chest is guarded by mobs, some of who can inflict zombie on your characters. Zombie is a worse (from our point of view) confuse. The only way to treat it is with holy waters. Which reminds me, the gargoyles guarding the place need to be killed at the same time. Watch out for moving floors, take the left path, and don't be afraid to leave. I had to do it three times because the only save point is so deep. Fortunately, there is no boss. We'll get to the tablet and be transported to the top of the pyramid.

Despite being halfway across the world, Krille sees our "to Galuf" warp point sink into the ocean. From it comes Bahamut, who tells us he'll be waiting at North Mountain. She also sees the airship sailing towards us. As we go to get it, we hear the chirp of a dragon. It's Reina, and her dragon places her unconscious body in front of the Elder Tree. But it's not her. XD shows up to introduce his first sealed monster who's possessed Reina. The dragon sacrifices itself to separate the two, and the three of us attack!

I didn't understand this fight, but I won easily. Faris is now a hunter, and Aim usually got Sshot, hitting four times for 1400 damage. Krille had gotten to level four white mage in that awful dungeon, so have her use shell. The boss only uses magic attacks. Bartz was just there... The naked lady dies, and Reina, despite being unconscious, rejoins the team. As a going away present, XD eats the Ancient Library.

We all get on the airship, and XD eats more places. Walz, Lix, a random forest, Moggle village, and a random town all vanish. But not the sealed weapon castle? Bartz drag races god in rage before everyone calms him down. I head to Kazus and unseal Yoichi's Bow, Holy Lance, and Excalibur. I can't use two of them, but oh well. XD prepress more of his sealed army to protect the other tablets, which I'll find...

... tomorrow!

Bartz mastered dragoon, so he's finally a monk. This will be his last job. Faris is in the same boat with hunter. Reina missed two levels and hundreds of ABP, so this entire night sucked. What's Krille gonna do? I think the rest of this game is optional, but I'll be doing all of it. I don't remember the rest being as terrible.

X-Death's death

Gilgame sucks!

We take our dragon across the Big Bridge and land it just beyond the mountains around X-Death's castle. We enter and see several soldiers tell us how powerful XD is as we begin our climb. It starts pretty easy and straightforward with simple mobs in our way. But then there's a dead end. I looked around for way too long before I headed back down. As I do, Bartz wonders if that really is a dead end. Krille agrees and realizes it's an illusion.

We cut to Kelga, lamenting he's the last of the Dawn Warriors, but he also knows his time is drawing near. Suddenly, the ghost of Galuf appears outside his window to tell him we need his help. Kelga accepts his death and, somehow, breaks the illusion of the castle as he dies. What was once an immaculate castle is suddenly transformed into a mass of fire, flesh, and lava. A doorway opens, and we continue our climb.

The monsters are stronger, and the structure is more maze like. Watch out for the Black Warlocks and the cat things. They like status ailments and instant death spells. When you come to a room with a stairway down to lava, cast float on the party. There's a secret chest down from it. There's another puzzle shortly above this where we need to navigate an invisible maze with pitfalls beneath. The holes lead to lava. There's a chest across, and the way forward (to a save point) is at the bottom. The upper path takes us to the Carbuncle summon.

Carbuncle is pretty tough if you play it straight. They'll bounce spells off themself, doing major damage to us on the reflect. But their tactics change every three offensive moves. The quick and easy way is to survive until Carb heals. That removes the reflect status and all their immunities. Cast Break for an easy win.

Past the chest is another optional boss. If you open it, Gilgamesh laughs at us. It seems he has the legendary sword Excalibur that was inside. This battle is pretty easy, but it has story, so it's worth doing. If you don't, you'll never see him again. Gilly poses little threat so long as you summon Golem, but remember to bring a thief. We can finally start stealing the Genji gear. After a while, Gully asks where Galuf is, and Krille tells him. He seems disappointed. But then, he transforms! He grows more arms and begins to wield the Excalibur. Or...not. It's actually the Excalipoor, and it sucks. Once he changes, begin stealing. After more fighting, we hear X-Death. He's mad Gilgamesh sucks, so he sends him to the "N-Zone" by using "X-Zone." So long, legend.

A few more quick floors up is XD himself. We prepare to stop his plans, which he deflects by saying his only goal is to reform the world. No one knows what that means, nor do we care.

Summon Golem again, or else he'll murder you with Vacwave. Later on, XD starts to soam spells twice a turn, so don't hesitate to use Shell. From here, go all out. Faris does what she does, Bartz jumps, and Krille uses Blow Hard. I summoned Titan a few times, but Reina was mostly on heal duty. He almost got me a few times, and I needed to use several phoenix downs. Even then, only Bartz and Krille lived.

The three crystals behind our dead BBG break as the screen goes blank. We wake up on a hill, but why is Tycoon in the distance? We return home, and the chancellor welcomes us back. He somehow knows Faris is Salsa... That night, a three day festival starts to welcome back both princesses. Faris even dresses the part, and Bartz starts drooling. A dance begins, and we can't reach either of them without getting stepped on. But Krille's mind is racing. She heads to the balcony to say Galuf is telling her to hurry. This world still isn't at peace. The two of them agree to leave, but they must continue without the Tycoons.

Bartz wonders how Boco is doing. Krille thinks that's a stupid name, ao Bartz punches a child as they leave. But Krille gets the last laugh, so it's fine? Across the bridge to the west is Faris' hideout. As we approach, Boko greets us. And then his wife shows up to tell us (via Krille) that she's pregnant! How long were we out for? We both hop on Boko and head to Tule, which I'll reach...

...tomorrow!

Why do we have a map of this merged world that no one's talked about? You'd think this would be more vital?

Farewell...

Back to Gill, but for real this time.

Firstly, we need to get through a dungeon to reach him. It involves putting a rock in its proper place and hitting a switch. Then move the block and find your way through the dark. A thief's Secret skill doesn't help. Eventually, we'll find our way to a pool with a turtle in it. The turtle will disappear, but we can jump in after it. Continuing down the path brings us to the turtle. Bartz beats up on it because he sucks, while Galuf tells him to stop. He does not. The turtle speaks to us, scaring everyone, and Galuf informs us this is Sage Gill.

Ol' Gill tells us the backstory on X-Death, so this is an important scene that was undercut by Bartz being a dick. The gist is X-D was born in Moore Forest because the locals sealed all manner of evil to a tree. That tree grew into the BBG that's trying to kill us now. Gill continues to tell us that XD is in Moore for reasons even he doesn't know. But if we go there, we might be able to stop him. As we leave, Gill hands us the Elder Branch. With this, we can get into the forest. Otherwise, we won't be allowed in.

So it's back to where I bought the diamond gear and Cure 3. As Gill said, we'd be blocked out without the Branch. With it, we come to a terrible dungeon. I like the idea of it, but it's hard to navigate. The screen is covered by a thick layer of tree leaves, which is probably more of a technological masterpiece than a fun experience. It would probably be better if the encounter rate were lower, but instead, it's jacked to the max. We can't even get the music to restart! Be on the lookout for trees with holes in them and a save point to the side of the third area.

Just after that is when XD attacks. A forest fire has started, and it's about to overtake us. We can explore for a moment, so make sure to find the hidden chest. It had a (probably) fake Aegis Shield in it. Suddenly, a moogle shoots out of the ground, and we can follow them. We'll find a small pool to restore HP while the two moogles protect us. When the fire dies, we can explore the burnt remains. West is where we can find the Elder Tree.

Inside are four sealed monsters that attack us. Each unnamed crystal is an elemental avatar. They're weak to one but absorbs another. It's wise to attack one at a time because their AI changes when they get low on HP. Rather than a single attack, they'll use a team wide magic attack that really hurts. Summoning Golem negates the basic attacks, and Shell can help you not get wiped out. Faris attacked with her duel twin lances, while Galuf spammed Blow Hard. Bartz was there. I managed to learn Aero 3 here!

After we win, we'll hear an evil laugh. XD shows up to reveal those sealed monsters were crystals. ...okay. Apparently, they sealed him 1000 years ago. Does this mean he's stronger now? Whatever it means, XD uses those crystals as laser beams against us! The party is pushed against the walk as we cut to Krille. She knows we're in trouble and comes to save us again. With another Bolt spell, she stops the BBG and gives us a moment to restock. She says he'll be out for a while, but XD instantly gets up. He throws Krille around the tree with telepathy before resuming the laser beaming. Seeing his granddaughter harmed enrages Galuf, who musters up the strength to march towards XD. Apparently, this damages the already useless crystals, but whatever. Galuf absorbs the magic around Krille and lunges for XD!

We enter a one-on-one fight where we can't lose. XD instantly brings Galuf to 0 HP, but the battle rages on. We're out of MP, so "rage" might be a misnomer. After forever and a day, the two start talking. Galuf tanks Flare and Meteor before finally killing XD. The crystals are absorbed by XD, and he disappears. Everyone gets up and runs to Galuf. He's not doing well and has accepted his fate. Galuf urges everyone to finish this war against XD while everyone tries to save him. Sadly, Cure, Raise, elixirs, nor phoenix downs work.

 "Galuf's flame flickered out."

The newly orphaned Krille gives in to despair as the teenagers look on. After a moment, Krille hears the voice of her grandfather and runs outside. A diadem falls from the sky as Galuf tells her his power merged with the Elder Tree. With this, Krille is granted all the abilities Galuf had and joins the team as the new Warrior of Light/earth. Galuf asks his granddaughter to be strong, and she promises she will. Everyone vows revenge, and we go to X-Death's tower. But that'll be...

...tomorrow.

Kelga remarks that he's the last Dawn Warrior if we return to give him the bad news, but that's the extent of this. I've always wondered why no one speaks of Galuf's sacrifice in the same vein as Aerith. I want to get into why, but I'll save it for when I'm not on a phone.

Broken promises...

Dragons can swim.

We land on Gill's island, but an earthquake forces us to return to the dragon. The island sinks into the ocean, and the camera cuts to X-Death, damning everyone against him. Our dragon rises out of the sea, and I have questions. But Gill's dead, so where to now?

To the west is Castle Surgate. The guards outside hate us, but one inside lets us in. Xezat isn't home, but we can loot his castle. If you return books to their shelves, we can learn Float. More importantly, more guards inform us about the Surgate fleet planning an attack on X-D's barrier tower. Taking the dragon to the southeast of X-D's castle, we can meet another Dawn Warrior. Xezat tells us to sleep.

We're awoken by an attack by Gilgamesh. We take out the small fry before taking on the legend. He poses no threat, but we can start stealing Genji gear from him. Use Missile if you want. As we win, Gilgamesh tries to pull us into the ocean, but Galuf holds on. Xezat is dealing with other mobs, so Galuf almost falls in. Fortunately, the dragon saves us.

When the dust settles, Xezat tells us the real plan. These ships are a decoy. We're now to attack the barrier tower via a cave underwater. We climb into a submarine hidden beneath the ship and make our way to the cave. Xezat blows open the path, and the mission begins.

Xezat goes down to the engine room while we climb to the antenna. He'll blow the engine for us to destroy the thing keeping the barrier up. If one goes down, it all will. What a terrible design for a great evil. The mobs we encounter are pretty insignificant, but there are two monsters-in-a-box. Both are red dragons who can wipe the party in one move. Thanks to Whisper Weed, we can see that Xezat is having some trouble but nothing he can't handle. At the top is the guardian Atomos. This is the most unique boss in all of Final Fantasy. Atomos will spam Comet until someone dies. It won't take long. From there, the corpse of our friend will slowly be sucked closer until they're eaten. After that, the cycle will begin again. Haste up and do your best attacks. There's no real need to heal, but it may be worthwhile to revive your dead friend before they're eaten. It might cost Atomos time. At the very least, it gives everyone a chance to gain twelve ABP.

Xezat disables the engine, and we'll explode the antenna, causing the barrier to drop. It'll also make the tower unstable. We jump off onto the dragon, but Xezat is stuck. Galuf wants to save his friend, but there's no time. Xezat has accepted his fate but promises to meet us at the sub. We'll wait, but he never showed up, causing Galuf to fall into despair. We need to end X-Death, but what about Gill? With a submarine, maybe we can meet the drowned, dead sage. But I'll do that...

... tomorrow.

I went ahead and did some exploring. Galuf's world is small, so there's only the village of Morre and their diamond gear. I also found a female chocobo, which aren't made for riding.

Bartz' plot relevance.

I did some grinding, so here are my new jobs!
Reina: Summoner
Bartz: Dragoon
Galuf: Spellblade
Faris: Ninja

The gates of Castle Val are locked, so we need to be let out. Galuf's soldiers are reluctant to sacrifice their King and let monsters in, but they let us through. They lock it afterwards, so I don't know if we can come back. As we leave, another Abductor attacks.

North of the castle is the tiny village of Kelb. The only inhabitants ate three sheep, but the back gate is locked. We can only go inside one house, and it's an ambush. Three werewolves surround us as a fourth comes to command them. Galuf seems to know him, but the wolf thinks we're X-Death's minions and pushes Galuf aside. He then challenges Bartz to a duel. Faris and Reina try to get involved, but Bartz asks them to step aside. The werewolf, Kelga, tells us he's attacking with his special move, Pine Attack. Kelga moves so fast around the room that we see afterimages while he occasionally attacks Bartz. But Bartz concentrates and manages to see the real Kelga, who blasts into the next room.

We skip ahead with the old dog in bed. Kelga is one of the warriors Galuf sealed X-Death with. He compliments Bartz for being able to counter Pine Attack, and Bartz says he's seen it before. His dad, Dorgan, used it. This name shocks the Dawn Warriors because Dorgan was another X-D sealer. He was against sealing X-D on a foreign planet and almost let him get away as the Dawn Warriors defeated him. But he went along with it, staying on the planet to protect the crystals as a way to alleviate his guilt. When Bartz says his dad died of an illness three years ago, everyone is sad. But we have to save a dragon. Kelga lets us through, and the town comes to life. We can make use of the shops and bring a strange wizard in a well a frog for 10000 gil.

Drakenvale is straightforward. We'll fight a lot of easy mobs, especially with Faris duel wielding twin lances. She can attack four times a round, doing about 2000 damage. Two undead dinosaurs roam the area. More interesting, there's a strange rock man who occasionally shows up to kill Galuf before running away. Eventually, we'll have the option to save him. This is Golem, and dinosaurs don't like him. If we defeat them without harming Golem, we can use him as a summon. It's very good! In the same area, inspect one of the fossils for a stupid armor. Find the secret pitfall in the cave just after this.

We'll find a dragon flower growing in a field. As Faris and Reina pick it up, it transforms into a monster. This is why all the dragons are extinct!

The Dragon Flower doesn't actually harm you. Instead, it'll summon bulbs to do the dirty work. The damage is negligible, but they infect various status effects, muddle being the most painful. Doom Claw works on DF, but I didn't want to cheese it. Have a monk to kick every turn, one shotting the bulbs. If the bulbs never act, this is an easy ten ABP. We'll pick up a pure flower and leave. Use the time mage's teleport to make this easier.

Back at Val, Galuf has to use the secret entrance to get home. There's a regal cutlass if you go the other way. As we pass Krille, we see she's very sick. A sage named Gill is trying to talk to her, asking us to visit him, but we need to save our dragon. It's afraid of the grass because a mutant version killed its race. In response, Reina eats some of it to prove it's safe. It works, and the dragon eats the rest of the plant, which is very toxic to humans! Reina collapses again. Luckily, Krille comes onto the balcony with a cure, so everything is fine. We'll see Gill...

... tomorrow!

There's a lot of deus ex nonsense in FFV that kinda kills the impact of a lot of scenes. Hydra being revived to save us, Reina almost dying twice to the same thing, and a few more things in the future. But at least Bartz is relevant to the story now. He's the only non royal on the team, by the way.

Another World

We're on an island, and I'm three hours late; let's do this!

The party is stranded, and the only mob we fight drops tents. It's a sign.

During the night, Faris and Reina are attacked. Bartz can defend himself, but don't bother.

We're taken to X-Death's jail and used as pawns in his war against Galuf.

Galuf is a badass and takes a dragon, alone, to X-D's castle to save us.

He fights Gilgamesh alone and wins by shooting a missile at him.

We break out and get to do everyone's favorite scene in Final Fantasy V: The Battle of the Big Bridge!

We fight mobs as we cross a large bridge with overly excited music. Halfway through, we fight Gilgamesh again. He's harder but hates 1000 Needles.

As we get to Galuf's side, X-D activates a barrier, and the team is thrown far, far away. Krille is confused.

We make our way past a podunk border town. During the night, Galuf thanks Bartz for saving him. Bartz thought we cost him the war, but the King quickly realized he would have died if not for that.

We follow a moogle, making their Final Fantasy debut, through an underwater cave. We end up saving him from an undead dinosaur that hates phoenix downs.

We hang out with other moogles in their tree homes until they start using long distance telepathy.

Krille brings the wounded dragon to save us, and we visit Castle Van, Galuf's home.

The dragon is very wounded, so now we have to save it like we did with Reina's long ago. And I'll do that tomorrow!

The basement of the castle is the best ABP grind spot. I need new jobs, so I gonna spend a long time down there. It's 7:30 AM; good night.

The Earth Crystal is in the sky!?

I really need to start editing these...

Once upon a time, the Earth Crystal was housed above the skies in a massive aerial fortress. Why? Whatever the reason, we need to fight our way in. We have to bring the airship to the four guns located on the hull. Let's start with the far right because it's unique. We're against two flamethrower guns. They're weak to lightning and easy to kill. The next three are against two missile guns apiece. They are not easy. These guys have two attacks, Missile, which takes away 4/5th of your HP. The other attack does 200 damage and confuses the target. My own team did more damage than the enemy. Why can't white mages equip a ribbon! Fortunately, you can return to the surface to tent up between fights without resetting progress.

Once the small guns are gone, the big one shows up! The Soul Cannon has two friends that make our characters old. It's a status unique to FFV, but I don't know what it does. The Cannon's only attack is a charged burst that does half our max HP and inflicts Sap. Without its backup, which can be beaten with Level 5 Death, this is an attrition fight. We'll fly into the Ronka Ruins and make our way through the spiraling warship!

There are only five floors, but we'll bounce back and forth between three of them, so this place feels massive. Some of the mobs can be tricky, so make sure to kill any lamia before she does 1000 needles. This is a blue magic move, by the way. We can also learn White Wind from the fans, but you need to control them. Everything here seems weak to the geomancer's Gaia spell. Don't use it on the fans, though. There are a few offshoots here that go to treasure, but I don't know how worthwhile they are. Do aim for the room with five chests. The ancient sword is pretty good.

In time, well reach King Tycoon. There's a monster behind him, and he asks us to kill it because it's what's attacking the crystal. He quickly steps aside, and we do our thing. Tycoon says the Archeoaevis changes its weakness at will, but I didn't take advantage of it. I used Blow Hard and Gaia as often as I could. They combined for 1700 damage a turn. I think it changes elements whenever a certain phase ends, which is 1600 HP. You'll have to kill this guy twice, so don't get scared if it revives a few times. Afterwards, King Tycoon gains an evil laugh and runs towards the crystal.

He's trying to destroy it! The party realizes he's possessed, but Reina and Faris don't let the men attack him. Familiar union and whatnot. Tycoon uses that as an opening to attack us. Just as all hope is lost, another cookie strikes the planet. It's got great aim because it lands on the Ronka Ruins. The small girl from Galuf's brain exits and casts Bolt on the King! Krille saves us, and Galuf regains his memories. Reina and Faris go to talk to their dad, who recognizes Salsa. The three have a short lived reunion. Krille didn't kill him, but it's about to get worse. As Bartz steps forward, the crystal breaks.

We see the world shake, and the four pillars west of the Wind Shrine are gone. A light appears above it, and that light pays us a visit. This is X-Death. He attacks us with the crystal remains after yelling at Galuf. I don't remember if it's now or later, but we learn Galuf and three other warriors sealed X-Death on this planet thirty years ago. I say "this planet " because Galuf is from another world. The crystal shards attack us, and Tycoon sacrifices himself to save us. He harms X-D, who says he's gonna conquer Galuf's world now. The ruins start to shake, so we need to leave. Reina is in shock at the loss of her father, so Faris has to drag her off.

We manage in a cutscene, but we all get bad news anyway. Galuf and Krille will reseal X-D on his world. Bartz and everyone are willing to go, but that's not possible. It's a one way meteor warp, so we won't be able to return. He also feels guilty for cursing this planet. We see them off and immediately plan on how to follow them.

The Ids are at Galuf's cookie. They want to return the adamantine for some reason. While there, we notice the warp panel is feeding off the ore. For some reason, we can't refill this warp, so we'll need to visit all the meteors. While in Tycoon, there's another scene at the castle. Faris recalls being afraid to fly on the dragon, but she really wanted to. But the King is off to find a cure for the Queen.

The next meteor is in Walz, and we're attacked. I had Faris as a ninja to throw three lightning scrolls. These bombs cast Raise as they die, so we need to kill them all at the same time.
In Karnac, we're attacked by Titan. He'll cast Earthquake as he dies, so keep your HP up.
Krille's cookie is against the Aqua Rake spamming Brain Chimera. This wasen't fun.

All of these happened with only three party members, so good luck. Two of these are quite hard. With all four sugary interplanetary transport devices on, a new warp appears south of Tule. We're prepared to finish the fight against X-D, so Reina jumps right in. Faris wishes her crew well, and Bartz promises to come back to Boko. We see the three turn into lights and fly through space. We land on a dark, isolated island on Galuf's world. We'll figure out how to get off this island or die...

... tomorrow!

Why do we have a map of this world?

Salsa Party

What's higher than a chocobo?

Cid's fine that the Fire Ship is gone. Mid seems almost excited at the prospect of building a new one. More importantly, there are rumors that King Tycoon was in the area. We crossed the desert to the west, with many wondering if he went to the Village of Ruin. People also think he was floating. This is because the desert is like a sea, complete with moving currents that push all those who try to cross back to the start. Reina wants to see her dad, so that's where we go.

Heading there ourselves confirms the impossible task. Fortunately, Cid and Mid are stalking us. They know how to cross, and that's by making a bridge out of the back of a Sandworm! Mid rings a bell, and we're attacked.

Sandworm moves between three holes on the battlefield, so don't be hasty with making commands. If you miss, we'll get attacked with Demi, which quarters our HP. Besides that, this battle is pretty simple. Sandworm attacks are weak, and its main way of dealing damage is by using Quicksand. This acts as a bleed spell, and we'll slowly lose HP, so keep Reina spamming Cure 2. Ignore Mid, and feel free to use magic. Apparently, Aqua Rake can one shot him.

The rest of this place is navigating the sand currents and getting south. We have little control, and random encounters happen while we're being pushed around. But we'll make it in an easy enough fashion. For some reason, I decided to spend an hour trying to steal a javelin from the local sandbears. I never got one, so I'm upset.

South of the desert is the Village of Ruins, an aptly named home to nothing but dilapidated houses. The people of Jachol believe this is all that remains of a great civilization. After a look around, we'll notice King Tycoon is here. Faris called him "papa"? We'll chase him around until we have him trapped. Or do we! The party falls into a pit and winds up in an advanced ruin, but Galuf isn't here. Totally ignoring the King and the situation, Reina and Faris have a moment where they realize they're sisters. We try to ignore the missing Galuf, which upsets him from two rooms over. The funny music plays as he climbs across the broken pipes and cogs and joins up again. Not far from here is a strange platform. We step on it, and we're teleported across the ocean to beneath Crescent. But the party doesn't know this. The new room we're in falls apart because it's the first time it's been used in centuries! At the same time, we see Mid and Cid arriviste in the area with the black chocobo. This is a peaceful dungeon, but explore the whole rest room to learn Mini after a hiding frog reveals how to open the switch.

North of this is another switch to open the door. The first time you press it, we see Cid and Mid suddenly drop into a pit in the forest. Adventuring on brings us the Fire Ship! But there's another ship with a propeller on it? Just then, Cid and Mid drop from the sky. Good thing they're dragoons! They know this is an airship, and they fix it up. We all take to the skies, but a boss tries to drag us down. I've forgotten his name, but he hates lightning. If you don't have a coral sword, steal the one he's got. After a scene that doesn't make sense, we return to the Village of Ruins!

It can fly?! A massive advanced military base rises out of the desert. It goes so high that we can't reach it. Returning to the Ids, they suggest coating the airship with adamantium. Galuf knows his meteorite had some. He's correct, but there's a hitch: it's protected. Adamantoise is well defended, hits hard, and can sometimes attack twice. The cheese strat is to use Level 5 Death. Otherwise, use ice spells.

While in the area, return to the castle. That night, Faris and Reina will "recall" an event from their youth. Faris, Princess Salsa, is the oldest of the two. She was being taught by Jeneka one night until Salsa had to put Reina to sleep. She was supposed to return to her teacher but pushed her bed against her sister's to sleep next to her. So cute! Faris blames falling into the sea for giving her amnesia. They both want to keep this a secret.

Returning to the Ids has them quickly coat the ship with the mineral. I don't know how this makes us fly higher, but it does. So I'll climb to the Ronka Ruins...

... tomorrow!

SALSA!!!!

Birds > dragons

Let's explore the world!

I have a ship now, so let's see what this world has in store for us. I started counterclockwise from the top left in the town of Istory. It's famous for its waterfalls, but a recent earthquake has blocked that off from us. We can buy accessories that absorb a certain elemental type, but they're 50000 gil each. The citizens warn us that there's a violent old man in the forests. Crossing the bridge gets us into a boss fight against Ramuh.

Ramuh isn't too hard, but the fight will take a long time. He has a lot of HP and high defense. Ramuh can blind your party, so bring eye drops. He mostly uses lightning magic and can drain your MP if he runs out. If I wasn't trying to learn Control, this might have been easier. I gotta remember to use Doom Claw more often. Once we win, Ramuh will talk to his friend, Ifrit, and make himself an item for a summoner to use.

Far to the south of the Ancient Library is the town of Jachol. It has new armor, but we're more interested in the cave. The only mobs inside are squirrels, but one is terrifying. It has high defense and evasion, but it's weak to control. It gives five ABP, so ability grinding in here is wonderful! Having a backup plan is also advised in case Galuf dies. Anyone in your party will be one shot now. I panicked and ran away from my first fight tonight. There's also treasure in here, but nothing spectacular.

But I did learn Control, so I went blue mage hunting. I know everything except MagicHammer and Self Destruct, neither of which I'm very plused about. Flamethrower, Aqua Rake; still need Off Guard, though.

Across the ocean from Jachol is Crescent. It's named such because the island it's on is moon shaped. It's also tectonically active. As we enter the village, an earthquake rumbles the area, pushing our ship into the ocean and sinking it. We're stuck here, and the wizard laughs at us. The town doesn't help us, but there's a forest nearby. Inside is a black chocobo! Reina always thought they were extinct, but here one is. Bartz catches it and tries to fly away with it. It quickly crashes! The black chocobo coughs up two crystal shards, hunter and dancer. Apparently, those shards weighed it down. So four people and their twenty crystal shards climb up, and we take off to the north. North of the Wind Shrine is the isolated village of Lix, Bartz' hometown.

Everyone knows him, and we can spend the night at the inn for free. A bard has moved into his old home. During the night, Bartz visits the grave of his parents and remembers how they died. Faris is worried and checks on him. Faris thinks fathers are overrated, so there's not much to discuss. In the morning, we can find an old friend of Bartz. They recall why he's afraid of heights, a plot point I skipped over. Bartz climbed on top of a house and got stuck. He eventually fell off... Inside Bartz' old home is a music box that makes him recall the night his mom died. It was late, and he was in bed. Stella and Dorgann were discussing Dorgann staying home for a while. Stella has to finish an errand before bed and walks off screen. Dorgann goes to look at his son, who's awake, so he tells him to watch over Stella as Papa Bartz needs to leave now. As he goes to sneak out, we see Stella on the floor... We'll tell Cid we lost his ship...

... tomorrow.

Her name is Reina.

Why have I been calling her Lenna?

The Ancient Library is a ways south of Karnak. It's past a dangerous desert, but you might be able to get Aqua Rake if you venture in. It's filled with researchers who are looking for a man named Mid. Others are reading old books, and even a few are burning them. But only the possessed ones. Mid went into the basement, which is filled with monsters. So we have to save him.

Along the way, we run into a lot of mobs that can teach us more blue magic. Watch out for Level 5 Doom. Make sure everyone but your blue mage isn't at level fifteen, or your party will get wiped in one round. All the monsters are from books, and the battles last a varying amount of mobs. It's usually two or three, but my first had me against six. It got me four ABP, but it was a one off. The gimmick here has us trying to move bookshelves or walking in the dark. Fortunately, it's pretty short. When you reach a sentient bookshelf that blocks your path, find the secret passageway in the room before it. Following that brings us to Ifrit! Use ice magic and keep healing. I had issues, but it's only because this trainer class sucks. Ifrit will join us as a summon and command the shelve to let us through.

Deeper down is a man in a state of hypnosis. We call out to him, but he doesn't respond. We sense something is up with him as two books attack us.

Byblos isn't fun. I tried to defeat him normally, but I couldn't. Even using Fire 2, his drain spell, which I feel is a counter, restores too much of his HP. He also casts Protect on himself, making it impossible to dela damage. Byblos also loves status ailments. The ribbon can't be worn by anyone, so it's of no help. Frog, confuse, and slow aren't fun! The cheese strat is to use Doom Claw. It'll take a few tries, but if it hits, he'll have low HP. I didn't get Magic Hammer, but I can keep playing.

The man in the room is Mid, and he's hella into the book he's reading. It's information on how to power the Fire Ship without the crystal. Mid opens a secret path back to the surface and runs off to find his grandfather, Cid.

Cid's drowning his sorrows at the pub, and we beat Mid there. After a short conversation, Mid enters, calls out to his grandpa, and playfully beats him up. Mid says it's unlike Cid to just give up, which inspires Cid to get to work. We all look over the book, as the engineer boys run to the Fire Ship. We see them fixing it up, but it'll take a while.

The party rests in the captain's quarters, where Galuf remembers stuff. Mid beating up Cid jogged his brain, and he recalls when his own granddaughter did the same thing. Galuf was at a castle when Krile, the girl Siren showed us, cheered him up. What's a bigger shocker is that Galuf is from another world. The chocolate chip cookies are an interplanetary transport system Galuf used to come to this world. He needs to protect them because he and his friends sealed an ancient evil, X-Death! X-Death was sealed in the forest west of the Wind Shrine fifty (and/or thirty) years ago by Galuf and three of his friends. No one questions this, and we all go to bed. We wake up to see C/Mid sleeping after a long night of work. But they're done. They ask us to protect the final crystal and give us the Fire Ship. We can now sail across the whole ocean, which I'll do...

...tomorrow!

Fire 2 makes quick work of Shiva. Once Galuf gets beastmaster to level two, I'll switch him back to Ted Mage. I need a way to control monsters to learn good blue magic, which I'll about to get. Blue Magic is rad, but it can be pretty tedious and questionable. But it did save me tonight, so it's a sign!

Burning down the house.

Chocolate chip warp technology is my favorite part of Final Fantasy V.

The party inspects the fallen Walz meteor and finds a way inside it. At the bottom is a strange fractal. As we step on it, Bartz disappears. Everyone looks at each other, and Lenna goes in first, followed by Faris. Galuf feels like he's been here and wishes he could have spoken to that unknown soldier while having an existential crisis. He comes to and follows the others. Back on the world map, I see we're on the otherside of the mountains from Tule. How do trade and news travel in this world if sci-fi tech is the only way to leave the north sea?

It's a long walk to Karnak, but at least the gil rewards are good. It's mostly dogs, but you might run into a zuu. Eventually, we'll reach the town of Karnak. It's on fire, but the citizens seem thrilled with it. Some of them tell us how cool Cid is for making the machines that empower the crystals. There's also a werewolf on the loose... But I'm more interested in new gear. It's good stuff, and it's so cheap. As I try to participate in the art of capitalism, we're suddenly stopped. A soldier enters the building and calls us monsters. We were seen exiting the meteor, which has gotten the kingdom in a tussle. We're hauled off to jail without defending ourselves.

We bumble around a bit before a man in the next cell blasts his way in. This is Cid, and he used the last of his gunpowder just to find another cell. The party finds this funny. Despite being on the otherside of an impassable mountain range, Cid leaned that the wind and water crystals broke. He tried to stop Queen Karnak from breaking the fire crystal, but she threw him in jail instead. A soldier enters and tries to take Cid to the Fire Ship. It's acting up... Cid wants us freed as well, but the soldier says no. Cid refuses, causing the soldier to acquiesce. We can explore the castle, but it's casually on fire. The werewolf attacks the castle as we leave, but the knights scare him off with gunpowder. Before going to the Fire Ship, upgrade your gear. It's gonna be a while...

The Fire Ship is home to the fire crystal. It's a thing of technological wonder and a maze we have to get through. It's filled with alternate paths to treasure, air ducts, and several conveyor belt puzzles. Does everyone have to walk through air ducts to reach the crystal? At one point, you'll come to an area with three elevators on the north and four ducts to the south. The ducts are backtracks, but there's treasure on the way. Most of it is great for a thief. I got a bad vibe from the second one, though. I also got confused how the elevators worked... After a lever controlled moving floor puzzle, we reach an empty room with Queen Karnak in it.

She states that "my time of revival is at hand." What a strange thing to say. The boss fight is against a sentient flame. I only had Galuf, my red mage, use Ice 2 the whole fight. Bartz and Faris did nothing. Liquid Flame counters everything, and it'll always hurt. After every round, it'll change form. The hand form is immune to ice, so you'll have to have Bartz attack then. It's a long and boring fight, but this is a safe way to do it.

The Queen will collapse and regain her senses. She'll ask us to protect the crystal behind her. It's fine, but the werewolf breaks his way in. He's peaceful and knows Galuf? Like the unknown knight before, though, we can't get any information out of him. Another soldier sneaks in behind us and ramps the power of the machine up. He says more stuff about a revival before a green magic aura surrounds him. The ducts around the crystal connect to the main base, but the werewolf tries to stop them. He urges us to flee before the ship and castle explode. Despite that, Lenna wants to help him. Sadly, the floor begins to break. Werewolf dies, and the crystal explodes. We check the damage before everything starts to crash.

We have ten minutes to get out of Karnak Castle. With the loss of the crystal, all the fire is gone, opening the way to a lot of treasure. Make as much use of the ten minutes as possible to find 10k gil, many elixirs, a ribbon, an elf mantle, a hunting knife, a thunder scroll, and the Esna magic spell. I also stole a mage masher from a wizard. Esna is right near the entrance, which is worth getting. The ribbon is on your way to the main foyer, and the elf mantle is on the left side. The hunting knife isn't worth it. It's also worth noting that you can learn Aero and Aero 2 from the Gigas' in the monster chests. Oh, yeah. Most of the treasure is well guarded... Make sure you have plenty of time left because there's a boss as we exit.

It starts as a normal fight against a commander and her three dogs. But, when she's alone, she reveals herself as the bounty hunter, Iron Claw. Iron Claw isn't too hard! He uses the blue mage spell Coom Claw to paralyze a target and rip their HP to a single digit. Fortunately, he's kinda slow and can only attack one person a round. I spammed Fire 2 while Lenna used Cure 2 on the whole party. Go hard and fast, and you can win. Just keep track of time. I had to do this whole thing twice because I killed him as the timer ran out. Had I only had five more seconds...

The castle explodes, taking the western wall with it. The Queen is alive but in a fugue state. Cid is on the ship, wishing he was never born. He blames himself for the destruction of the crystals and leaves. All the prices in the weapons and armor shop are three times the price now, and you can find a fire rod on the city ramparts. It seems Cid went to the Ancient Library to the west, so we'll go after him...

... tomorrow!

We also got three new jobs after the castle went up, geomancer, ninja, and beast master! I might go blue mage hunting tomorrow. Some good stuff is coming up.

Water Crystal

But first, let's find a dragon.

Northeast of this village we'll never see again is the North Mountain. It's straightforward, and the only offshoots are at the start. Both lead to treasure. From here, we walk around, in, and up a mountain. At one point, you'll see flowers blooming in front of us. They look nice but don't walk over them. They will poison the entire team and damage you. I only had one antidote, but I did buy the spell. The encounter rate is super high, so take advantage of the save point. Just after that is the first round of plot here. Lenna sees her dad's helmet and goes to pick it up. As she does, an arrow flies from stage left. It hits our Princess, poisoning her and knocking her out. A gap between her and the rest of the tram forms as Magissa tells us her evil plan. It's something about making money off the dragon flowers in the area, I think. They're said to have incredible healing properties. But with Lenna in hand, she's gonna be eviler. Faris, though, cares about Lenna and leaps over the gap. She falls off the ledge but, out of stubborn tenancy, climbs back up. She throws Bartz a rope, and he and Galuf make their way across. Lenna wakes up on time for us to save her, and a boss fight starts.

Magissa can debuff us, but she isn't very strong. Her biggest trick is to summon Forza, who'll tank for her. When this happens, just ignore him. Magissa will try to support Forza, so keep focusing on her. A lone Forza is a simple task to take out. Don't be too hasty, though, as a blue mage can learn Aero from her. Wind magic is rare in FF, so it's worth getting this spell early. I didn't...
 
If you want to, return to the save point, but that's the worst you'll see up here. Just up another cliff is Tycoon's dragon. It's wounded, but Lenna knows how to heal him. Behind (one) two poison flower plants is a dragon's flower. Lenna walks through the poison to pick it up, nearly killing her in the process. Maybe Magissa's arrow did more than I thought? But the flower works, and the dragon is fine. It walks over to the sick Lenna...and...breathes on her. ...? Lenna wakes up, and we can now take to the skies. The background of this scene might be the best graphics on the SNES. Shout out to whoever drew the mountain valley

The dragon can't fly over tall mountains, but we can reach Tule, Tycoon, and the water crystal at Walz. Get new gear, and remember to heal up. A girl is playing with a Garula in the southeast, and the magic shop has summons for sale. Hmm... After, speak to the King. Lenna asks him to cease the water crystal machine, but the King says that would vastly disrupt his kingdom. Spoken like a true capitalist! The sky turns red as another chocolate chip cookie crashes near the water tower. The castle panics, and everyone goes to the crystal.

A knight tells us King Walz went up to confront Garula, a usually peaceful monster. This is a fun dungeon. There's only one path up, but there are a few secret paths on the ivy. You can also steal gear from the y burns and knights. Don't bother with the Richardmages, though. Mythril weaponry is always fun, but it's also needed... Walz is further up, but he's not well. He tells us an unknown knight is currently fighting Garula. Above Walz is the fight in question. The knight is losing, so we have to do it all.

Garula is not fun. It counters every attack, which I didn't realize until late into the fight. And the lower its HP, the more often it can counter. Its attacks also increase as time goes on and strikes twice in one turn. Its worst attack can sap the target's HP, making them bleed out fast. Halfway through, I ended up with only Bartz attacking while Lenna healed every turn. I should have brought some magic...

Despite our win, the crystal still breaks. The knight who failed gets up and asks "Lord Galuf" to protect the rest of the crystals as he dies. Did this man know Galuf? We have no time to ponder because the tower starts to shake. It's coming down. Collect the crystal fragments, and the door to the top opens up. But there was another crystal we couldn't get to! We did pick up berserker, time mage, summoner, spell blade, and red mage. The party is at the top, but we go down with the entire peninsula. As we're about the drown, Hydra shows up. He lives! Hydra proceeds to eat us and takes us back to shore. Lenna almost drifted off, but Faris managed to get her. Sadly, the reunion is short lived. Hydra used the last of his strength to save us, and he returns back to the ocean. Faris sees his best friend die again. This felt a bit ham fisted to me.

Back in Walz, the wounded King is in bed recuperating. He tells us about the fire crystal in Karmec and about a knight from there who is saying something about a meteor and teleportation. But I don't want to inspect it yet.

Tycoon doesn't have a leader at the moment. The chancellor, Chance..., wants Lenna to remain here to calm her people down. She is needed to save the world, so she can't stay to take the King's place yet. Chance agrees, but we spend the night here. Lenna can't sleep, so she goes to get air. She sees Faris outside, looking at her own pendant. Lenna calls Faris "sister," but Faris remains quiet and goes back to bed. There are a few treasures to be gotten before you leave. Apparently, Lenna is descended from ninjas and samurais. We also hear about Lenna's sister, Salsa, from the kitchen staff.

While in the area, how's Boko? We see his footprints leading into the pirate cave. When we reach their hideout, we overhear that a chocobo is resting in the barracks. Boko broke his leg and is being treated by a wizard. Lastly, I finished off the blue mage job. Or at least as far as I want to go. I still haven't learned any spells for it, so it's a bit of a waste to have. Galuf got it to level three and made it a secondary. He's now a red mage, and we'll look around the fire crystal...

...tomorrow!

Shiva kicked my ass.

My forgotten Final Fantasy.

What is Final Fantasy V? I've played it a few times and enjoyed it, but I remember very little of it. I only played it a few years ago, though, so I can't blame depression. I'm pretty sure all the games I played during my Dark Ages have been replayed, so why have I forgotten so much about FFV? Was it actually good? Let's skip me waxing proseettically and get down to it! I'll be playing the Playstation One version because I bought Final Fantasy Anthology long ago. I was looking for it for years before I found a copy at K-Mart in a city I didn't live in. And it has been sitting for years waiting for this moment?

The PSX version had an opening CGI cutscene. It shows a girl in a regal robe talking to a dragon, a man on a pirate ship, and another man in a cave. A meteorite is approaching the planet, which is never a good thing. I've played Star Ocean Two!

When we cut to the graphics of 1994, a man in blue walks toward a dragon. His daughter, Lenna, asks him about the wind that's dying. The King is heading to the Wind Shrine to investigate, but Lenna doesn't want him to go. But, it's his job to do so.

We cut to a man and his chocobo around a fire pit. All is calm until the world starts shaking. The camera pans to the skies above us, and we see a chocolate chip cookie crash into the planet. I'm pretty sure it's a meteorite, but you can't tell with 1994 graphics. The man climbs onto his chocobo, Boko, who puts out the fire. I'm glad to see fire safety is well taught here. The two of them head east to the landing area. When there, the man investigates and finds two goblins dragging away a woman. It's Lenna! He jumps into to save her, and we get our first battle. It's as simple as can be now, but it'll explode in time. It's enough to tell us FFV had a similar battle system to FFIV, the ATB gauge. All we can do is "fight," but it's hard to lose.

Lenna wakes up and thanks the man, who we get to name. The SNES translation has his name as Butz, but I'm a boring adult, so he's Bartz. Lenna tells him she must hurry to the Wind Shrine and carries on her way. Bartz is a vagabond, so he asks no further questions. As they leave, they hear someone moaning. Finding the source, they find an old man beside the meteor. He has lost all his memory, but he manages to remember his name is Galuf. Rather than take him to a local medical facility, Lenna is more dedicated to getting to the Wind Shrine. Suddenly, Galuf remembers that's where he's going too. Without thinking about this strange old man's intentions, Lenna offers to take him there. She asks Bartz if he'll come too, but he turns her down. Bartz returns to his campsite. We cut to the King at the Wind Shrine just as disaster befalls him. The crystal breaks!

Later that day, the earth begins to shake. Bartz and Boko rush north because there's nowhere else to go. When they reach a chasm, they hear Lenna and Galuf scream. Boko rushes us across the sinking earth while Bartz fights off more goblins. In time, they find Lenna and Galuf unconscious, and they drag them away. Later on, we see Bartz standing guard while Boko tries to wake them up. Lenna comes first and thanks Bartz for a third time today. They discuss the rising frequency of earthquakes before realizing the path to the next town is out. With nowhere else to go, Bartz joins the two of them, but just to help them out. Galuf begins to wake and says Bartz joined because he has the hots for Lenna, which he doesn't deny. But our three piece team has to find a way to Tule!

East of them is a new cave entrance. Boko has to stay back while everyone goes inside. There's a healing spring near the start if you want to get a few levels. We still have no secondary commands, though, so I kept going deeper. We'll stumble upon a pirate in the back and spy on him as he opens a secret door. Following the pirate attacks takes us to his hideout, Lenna wonders if we can ask them for a ride to the Wind Shrine, but Bartz tells her that's not how pirates work. In response, Galuf says we can sneak onboard. Everyone is asleep, so getting on is easy. Bartz tries to set sail, but the lack of wind makes it impossible. But we saw a scene where the ship moved without wind a moment ago? Suddenly, the pirate captain shows up. Faris is none too pleased, but Lenna tries to commission a voyage anyway. She introduces herself as the Princess of Tycoon and flashes her emblem. Galuf and Bartz are shocked because this is the first time she said anything about being royalty. And to a pirate, nonetheless. Faris' tune changes, but he throws everyone into the brig anyway. We see the team talking in a humous scene. They ask who came up with the idea to steal a pirate ship and remember it was Galuf. He reminds them of his amnesia. The camera cuts to Faris, saying he had an emblem just like Lenna...

In the morning, Faris tells his men to release the party. For reasons not stated, he offers to take us to the Wind Shrine. But how are we to travel without wind? Faris calls for his best friend, a sea serpent named Hydra. Hydra will tow the boat across the sea! As we leave the pirate bay, one of the crew members offers to just take us there. There are no encounters at sea, the Tule isn't worth the visit now, so you might as well.

Members of the King's retinue are on the bottom floor. They inform the heir that the King went to the top and hasn't returned. Others wonder if the machine that amplifies the crystal is breaking it? There's a healing vase at the bottom of the room, and one of the men gives us five tonics. Climbing the tower is easy enough, which is rad because we still only have the fight and item command. But we get some basic tutorials here; save points, hidden walls, more battle system stuff. Why can't we skip turns? But on floor three is the boss. I forgot its name, but there's a strategy here. The boss starts by hitting everyone. Use to tonics if a character drops below thirty HP. I didn't attack when their wingspan protected him, but I don't know if it matters. There will be another AoE when the wings drop.

Behind that is the crystal room. Pieces of it are around us, but the King isn't here. Suddenly, the world reacts. We see the other crystals shine, and a light emerges from the three of them. The lights travel across the world and collide with us.
Faris gets the power of fire, courage.
Lenna gets water, kindess.
Galuf gets hope from the earth.
The power of wind, quest, goes to Bartz.
After this, the King appears and tells us to protect the other crystals or a great evil will return to the world. A purple field of magic surrounds him as he disappears before us. All four of us agree to do what we can. The nearest crystal is in Walz to the east. To get there now will take us through the monster infested canal, though. The wind, somehow, kept this place safe, but that's dying down as the crystal broke. Speaking of which, the shards of the wind crystal poof around us. They grant themselves to us, and we get our first jobs! Final Fantasy V's combat is the job system, similar to FFIII. We have the warrior, monk, white mage, black mage, blue mage, and thief. Bartz will take knight because I'm into JRPG stereotypes. This is also why Lenna is the white mage and Faris is the thief. I usually make Galuf a monk, but I made him a blue mage for now.

The canal is locked, but Lenna knows where to find the key. A man named Zot in Tule has it. When we reach the city, Faris and the crew raid the bar. Peacefully, of course. There's a scene where Bartz and Galuf fall in love with a sleeping Faris. How progressive! But Zot lives in the back of town. He won't give us the key, though, because it's too dangerous. But he lets us spend the night. Bartz can't sleep, so he gets some air. The idea of crystals reminds him of a childhood memory. Bartz was lying in bed one night while his parents talked about the crystals. His dad said, "if something happened to Papa Bartz, Bartz would be in charge of protecting them," something his mom wasn't into. When Bartz returns, we see Zot creeping on Lenna. She mumbles about her dad as Zot leaves. He sees Bartz and gives him the key. In the morning, we head out. This was a weird scene. As we leave Tule, Faris tells his men to stay here. They insist on joining their captain, but Faris is resolute. In time, they agree and remain in the bar forever.

The canal is opened, and everyone asks where Bartz got the key, but he doesn't answer. It's still weird. Hydra takes us around the waterway until a whirlpool appears. Hydra can't pull us out, so we enter the second boss fight. Karl isn't too bad so long as you bought Cure and equipment in Tule. He likes to focus on one character at a time for a while and can bring them to a single digit HP with a move. Despite us winning, the whirlpool is still here. Hydra manages to get us out, but he can't flee its pull. Hydra is sucked down, and we're now set adrift. Faris just saw his best friend die, so he becomes depressed.

In time, the ship floats to the ship graveyard. We now have to make our way across the rotting hulls of ships that've drifted here. We'll need to swim, jump, and walk across precarious ledges. After the swimming part, the team decides to dry off. Lenna gets her own room because she's the only woman here while the men dry off together. They need to remove their wet clothes, but Faris is hesitant. After some interaction with Bartz and Galuf, it's revealed that Faris is a woman! Lenna joins us for the exploitation, which is Faris was knocked into the sea as a child and saved by the pirates. She's been masquerading as a man since to lead them. Pirates don't take orders from no women, you see. Everyone goes to bed, still in wet clothes. It doesn't matter what Faris is to Bartz because "Faris is Faris."

Grab the world map as you leave, but the graveyard has one more secret for us. A ball of light appears, and Stella, Bartz' mom, ushers him over. Another light shines, and King Tycoon appears. For some reason, Faris is enthralled by this. But a third appears, and a small girl is there. She calls for her grandpa, but Galuf has no idea. Suddenly, a woman appears and tells the aether her plan to steal our souls. But since Galuf isn't affected, Siren says he can go free. But Galuf has grown attached to his friends and saves them with a few slaps.

The fight against Siren has two forms. In her normal form, she can paralyze a character. Use basic attacks here. But she can also become undead. Her defense goes sky shy high, but she's vulnerable to Cure. Let Lenna spam that, so I hope you brought tonics. There's no way to get more in this dungeon.

We're back to the world map and need to find a way to Walz. The village to the south is isolated because the winds are gone, so we'll need to find another way. A man in the pub says he saw a dragon fly north. Lenna thinks it's her dad's! It's also airborne and a perfect way to reach the water crystal. So we'll do that...

... tomorrow!

Day one plot dumps! I thought that Faris's reveal was deeper into the story. I don't know if it's a scene that aged well in the last thirty years or not. I wonder how the trans community feels?