So I got to the final boss...

I’m sure you can surmise something is fishy by the title, but I’ll get to that later. For now...

Our daily adventure begins with me hunting down The Chest Key locations. There’s nothing too great, so I finish exploring the penultimate Temple of Kiltias. Until, that is, I stumble upon a room where Ashley immediately gets punched in the head by our old’ pal Rosencrantz. We look up to Sydney, as well, having trouble as he kneels in the middle of the room. Rosencrantz claims he should be the successor. Better him than either the soon-too-be-dead Duke or the courrpt The Cardinal. Sydney refuses to name him that and his weird metal arm is cut off as punishment. Rossey tells the world that Sydney is immortal as Sydney begins to play mind games. Rosencrantz’ sword turns in to a weird metal arm as Sydney puts his back on. Ashura from Final Fantasy IV is summoned as The Cult Leader promises he won’t kill The Senior Riskbrekaer...only to seemingly kill him anyway.

We’re tasked with defeating Kali who falls, like a lot of bosses one you learn the trick, pretty quickly. After the fight, we find the place where Rossey and Guildenstern last saw each other which tells me Sydney wasn’t even hiding from them. They could have found him whenever. The door was right there. Regardless, before entering The Great Cathedral, I finish exploring the city, upgrade my weapons, and then head in. This entire dungeon is locked doors and a Boss Rush intermingled with block puzzles.

The bosses are:
Ifrit - A named Fire Elemental
Another crab
Marid - A named Water Elemental
Another Dragon
Djinn - A named Lightning Elemental
Lich
A goddamn Holy Dragon!
Dao - A named Earth Elemental
Nightmare - A Named Dark Elemental, being the last one to stand in my way and, if done in the correct order, the penultimate boss battle.

After the Dao battle, there was a scene where we’re where Mwrlose telepathically asks Ashley for help as we cut to the room. Sydney takes the Cloudstone up and prepares to confront Guildenstern. It turns out Hardin is still alive, for now, so now I don’t know how to feel. Hardin is, however, suffering from wavering loyalty seeing how his boss lied to him about the key. Meanwhile, Guildenstern rants about the corruption in society and, specifically, points out the merchants. What he does isn’t for his religion, but for the world as a whole. But not as the cool socialist, “everyone gets affordable healthcare” shtick, but rather the, “I want to be tyrant” type. Samantha shows up (I forgot about her, by the way) to force push Sydney who, seeing stuff is about to hit the fan, teleports Hardin, Merlose, and Joshua away to an unknown location. Just before, though, we gain an interesting tidbit: Is Sydney the Duke’s son? We may not know as Sydney gets shot by a cross-bolt and Guildenstern prepares to get the key.

After the Nightmare fight, Ashley floats to the room where this went down and, as we climb the stairs, see a heavily bleeding Sydney because he, indeed, was flayed. Ashley asks where Gallo Merlose (who knew she had a first name?) is and Sydney answers by saying she’s safe and fills our hero into what happened. They turn to the Rood Inverse on the floor and see ghost form Joshua hanging out saying he wanted to help his dad. Also, ignore all the stuff I said about it being Ashley’s son. I was wrong. Joshua says, “This city was his only hope” and Sydney says something confusing about he wanted to help, even if it cost bis life. Is Joshua dead? I didn’t get it, but the scene shifts to the roof where Samantha is being held by her lover, Guildenstern...except she’s not. She actually got stabbed. He says, “I need you soul” and says he always loved her as Sam breaks up with as just before dying. Ashley shows up and, with few words, a boss fight takes place where Guildernstern is wielding a Blood Sin sword, because symbolism.

This fight is more annoying than hard. Guildy doesn’t have a weakness and he’s immune to the important status debuffs so all we can do is buff up and hit him while hoping he doesn't de-buff us. He’s good at a chain evasion so it takes a while. More tedious stuff, though.

After his fall, Ashley is teleported to a world of white where he eventually sees his family during the picnic. They say their goodbyes, it’s real touching. Finally, a bit of closure. It’s mostly Tia and Marco talking and saying that they love him. To me, it seems to indicate that Ashley’s memories were correct and this was his family. Rosencrantz was the one lying for reasons we may never know. Probably generic sketchy shadow organization stuff. The last line here is, “Come home agent Riot you’re story is not yet finished” as the whiteness ends and we’re on a floating glyph in front a Final Form Guildenstern.

This sucked. Not only is he also immune, but he hard to get into range. When I was able to unload onto him, it got my Risk so high that I ended up being one-shot by him. Slowly chipping his HP, 1-10 points at a time, out of 666 because symbolism, I’m salty that I have to fight form one again, but it’s late and I want to sleep.

I’ll, hopefully, finish the plot tomorrow and give my moratorium as well. I was hoping to save that for its own, but alas.

I throughly enjoy exploring in Leá Monde

Like, so, so much. Whenever I get a new key, I have the wonton urge to go look for things it opens. But before I continue on with my love letter, let’s talk plot.

It’s pretty good too. But, again, before that, let's talk about things that are kinda iffy. After a room filled with new block mechanics (roll limited block) even though the blocks are optional here, which seems odd, and another (snow) dragon boss battle which makes me ask the question how’d all these dragons get into these small underground rooms, we return to Hardin suffering the effects of being shot with a crossbow.

Guildenstern asks Hardin for a key, to which Hardin claims he knows not while being Star Wars force pushed. Seeing this makes the Duke’s Kid, who’s named Joshua and I know this because I looked it up, looks on in horror. Being force pushed causes Hardin to ask Guildernstern how he can access the Wellspring. Guildenstern responds by throwing the Cardinal under the bus and reminding me I called hearsay a few days ago. Hardin is then teleported to Sydney as he asks his boss about the key, which Hardin does know is the Blood Sin. Sydney fades away to reveal Guildernstern has the power to warp reality or something and just did so to get the knowledge he needed. Guildenstern exposits the Blood Sin was once called the Rood Inverse as he looks up to notice the Rood-Inverse above him making him realize Sydney’s back tattoo is the key. The spotlight returns to Hardin as we bear the sound of metal stabbing flesh as the camera zooms out from a sword revealing Guildernstern killed Hardin. Joshua does a silent scream and I feel bad. Despite the lack of real Character Depth/Growth going on this game, Hardin is the only one who we’ve learned anything about. His tragic story of trying to help rebels (who seem more and more justified by the day), being double-crosses by, what I assume was, a corrupt judge, hearing of his only family dying, feeling lost and joining Sydney (who I still don’t think is evil), and having a nice bond (even if it’s offscreen) with Joshua was heartwarming and I actually liked him. I’m legitimately sad to see him perish.

We cut to a scene where Joshua is lost in, what appears to be, a Cathedral until we hear a door unlock and his father walks through. Joshua smiles and gleefully runs onto his arms. It’s touching, but why? Is the Duke not as evil as we’re led to believe?

Another scene transition where we're with Sydney and he magikally learns of Hardin’s death which seems to make him mourn, but might just be me projecting. Rosencrantz walks into his room and begins to grill Sydney about his plans for Ashley. Something about Ashley is set to succeed the legacy as Sydney doesn’t want an “Incomplete Death” and says Ashley should rule “The City of Darkness” with benevolence rather than evil. Rosencrantz calls Ashley a “vagrant” and “has the blind morality of a child”. They start fighting as The Cult Leader’s magik fails to effect the Riskbreaker.

We then return to Ashley as we venture into the Temple of Kiltias, which is a foreshadow to Final Fantasy XII coming in six years. There we fight the mini-boss The Last Crusader who kinda sucks to fight. Not only did I do low damage, but his best place to attack (abdomen) is immune to chains. At least I learned Herakles also increases defense, it seems. After lowering my opponent’s’ strength, I started hitting for 50 damage and the fight became elementary. After a tough block puzzle and another minotaur battle, we gain the Silver Key which unlocks several doors throughout the game. And here’s where I stopped progressing the story to go explore. Walking through old dungeons, I found several new items, upgraded my spear, preferred my old spear so I stopped using it regardless (for now) and ventured back into the optional dungeon, The Iron Maiden. There I continued to find better weapons and armor which I plan to do stuff with tomorrow as I fought more bosses, including a Wyvern Knight who dropped The Chest Key which unlocks even more chests throughout the game. Guess what my plan for tomorrow is?

As I said in the title, I love this. Exploring giant castles in video games is one of my favorite things. Sightseeing, killing things, getting better gear, and watching my numbers rise; it's what I play games for. The stuff you find exploring makes the main story more enjoyable by not having you drag through it. It can be said this should be on the main path if it’s main story relevant, but that makes the game very linear, which it already has issues with. Plus, many games have optional dungeons that reward the player with items needlessly strong for the main campaign. And Vagrant Story rewards exploring with even more exploring. I don’t want to ramble on using synonyms with great and love, but you get the point. I wish the locals were more different and variyed, yes. It’s all cave walls and stone floors. Dungeon design was not high on the todo list in 2000 and I think the music is kinda meh (fast-paced and/or atmospheric, as I’ve said, not my thing), but I’m really glad I’m replaying this.

Tomorrow I finish exploring with The Cheat Key and march toward beating the game.

Vagrant Story: The Same Thing pt. 2

Another episode where I accomplish nothing, but I really enjoyed my time.

I didn’t do much, but I did do some additional exploring. We started on the Limestone Cavern and, I think, I nearly completed it. During my time, I felt like I was in another boss rush day as I took down a Water Elemental, thus finishing the elemental squad (unless there’s a Light Elemental) which proved I should have explored earlier. I didn’t have any ability to add fire to my weapon until I went back to the Abandoned Mine B2 to open a chest I skipped. Even without it, it fell quickly. Descending deeper, there are several boss-like rooms. including two Ogres, which we fought earlier in the game and another room filled with two bosses I already forgot. I’m terrible. The last boss was the Ogre Lord which, thanks to Herakles and Tarnish, died in a way his lesser counterparts did. After this dude, I teleported (a spell I forgot to mentioned the cockatrice also dropped) around to open up rooms I had sigils and keys for. I wound up getting new weapons (one I wasted), a few spells, and I killed the Minotaur Zombie who was in the same room the first boss was. My map completion now lies at 63% and, I know the optional dungeon, Iron Maiden, is long, I think I may be nearing the end. I also skimmed the internet and found out The Chest Key which unlocks a lot of, as the name suggests, cheats scattered though out the game so I might go in at some point.

The only cutscenes I saw tonight were between Hamlets Heros who appeared in front of a grand church. Why don’t they have to walk through the labyrinth which is Leá Monde? Guildenstern and Samantha walk in, while Rosencrantz slowly steps back, stealthy. The next scene is with Hardin, Merlose, and the mute Duke boy hanging out under Ashley’s necklace/Sydney’s back tattoo where we learn of Hardin’s backstory. Once upon a time, he was a Peace Officer and was dealing with rebels. Something happened and he ended up going to jail. He was promised a lesser sentence if he sold out his comrades, which he did to protect his brother. Unfortunately, he was double-crossed and thrown to jail regardless. By the time he escaped, his brother died so he joined up with Sydney to gain revenge. All of this is told via Hardin’s ghost form because Merlose can read hearts. Hardin gets mad at her and then he gets shot by a suddenly appearing Guildenstern as the scene returns to Ashley.

The music which played during that scene was my favorite so far. It’s women chanting Gregorian Monk style with pleasant bells in the back. I wish I could explain it better since I have no musical talents and I’m beginning to wish I hadn't said I’d review the music. If I stop saying anything, don’t be surprised.

Vagrant Story: Boss Rush

After descending into the Abandoned Mine B2, we quickly come to a fork in the road, and I choose to go the wrong way (which is actually the correct way but never go the correct way first). This whole area is a timed dungeon where you have to get through and defeat the boss in two and a half minutes. The mobs are slow-moving and the boss in an Air Elemental which, if you’ve taken notice of all the spells you’ve acquired, this is an easy battle. Cast earth on your weapon and attack. It melts quickly. Because time stops in combat, the time limit a non-factor. After a few more rooms, you fight, yet another, dragon boss. It’ll be the toughest things we fight today, as the dragons tend to be, but still beatable in one try even with my sub-par strats of using the same things I have been. I really need a new spear.

After this battle, Ashley goes clairvoyant with Merlose again where she has a discussion with Hardin. Behind Hardin is a small child who, if you recall all the way to the tutorial dungeon, is the Duke’s son. He also looks like Ashley’s “son” so maybe I confused the two. I don’t remember his name. Anyway, during this scene, Merlose sees a ghost of someone who, I’m mildly positive is actually Hardin. Names aren’t mentioned over speech bubbles and I suck with appearances in this game so I could be wrong. Merlose is trying to interrogate Hardin about Sydney’s plans, but his normal appearance says nothing, however, the ghost form gives a detailed description. Eventually, Hardin recognizes this is Merlose’s special ability. He calls it “Heart-Seeker”. It’s not really explained much from there, but I’m gonna surmise it means she’s a living lie detector. Hardin’s special ability is “Far Seeing” and Sydney can tell the past and, if strong enough; impose his own view of it...or something like that. The ghost tells Merlose that they attacked the Duke’s manor because they want to seal up “The Wellspring”, which is what they’ve called Leá Monde a few times. They also plan to end the Duke’s bloodline and the last thing the ghost says is, Sydney is...” before poofing off and we return to Ashley.

He heads back into Leá Monde proper and come to a fork, but one leads to a non-boss Dark Elemental which I skip because I have bad memories so I go the other way. After several tedious mobs (with a far too short respawn time), we return the blue town where we do battle with marionettes, strings attached, and everything. They’re easy to dispatch. Kill a few of the andm we come to another boss which the game calls The Harpy. It shows up like a boss but and, while it killed me once because it has a one-hit ko move, doesn’t pose an actual threat. On the plus side, this fool dooms all other enemies in the game as it drops the tome for Heracles, which is a spell that boosts your attack. I am become Death. After a few more rooms, we come to another boss: The Lich. Cast Heracles and stab him with a stick and he’ll die in four hits. Throughout the rest of the dungeon, he becomes a common enemy guarding several sigils that have the description of “opens a door in The Limestone Quarry”. There are a few other sigils with the same description in several now-openable doors with I search out because I’m beginning to enjoy the game and I'm sensing a pattern.

One of those rooms leads to Ashley stumbling upon Nessa, who was the commander next to Samantha when she got slapped By Gildernstern, and Nessa’s friend, Triego,r who are standing over a corpse. They chase Ashley into a conveniently larger room which is another pvp-esq battle, but easily winnable with Heracles and focusing one of them. As they flee, Ashley remarks that the corpse is of Grisson, who we killed last night in the forest. Going back into the first room, we see the same scene, but this time, the corpse of Grisson begins to move. He talks to his comrades and then hears voices tell him his friends want to kill him, which they do try, but Grissom matrix’ out of the way and escapes which the three, alive, people then give chase. Not sure when we’ll see them again as I walked to the nearest save point and called it a night.

Tomorrow I take my revenge on the Dark Elemental and finish some pre-Limestone exploration because I want to.

Only a minor waste

Gonna be short tonight due to several reasons so let’s get this over with.

We walk out of the forest and back into the city walls. Trekking through a few lizardmen who are easily dispatched with a sharp spear, we come to what appears to be a city gate; Courtyard, large walls, and two people talking.

Guildenstern and Samantha are having a conversation I skipped over last night about the rune written all over the city. Guildenstern mentions how this entire city is a giant circle of magic, all with a cathedral at its center. He surmises it’s been the case for all 2000 years of its history.

The pair are interrupted by Rosencrantz who pretty much confirms the theory and alludes that the three of them know each other, but not at the same level. He then mentions that the entire city is the Gran Grimoire the couple talked about last night that Sydney had/looking for. Samantha then gets the ability to see through Ashley’s eyes and knows that he is nearby too which the two men seem to ignore and move on.

I then dip into the nearby workshop and, in somewhat confused fashion, upgrade my bladed weapon to a rapier (which is still bladed), upgrade my armor a bit, and remove unwanted junk from my very tiny backpack. It’s almost maddening how little item space we have and the container does little to help due to availability and the tedium of saving each time you shut it.

As I gather up my new armaments, I walk through the gate only to be stopped by Hamlet’s Heros. Here we get to fight a rather interesting boss. It’s a bit pvp-y since Rosencrantz uses similar tactics than you do. He uses break arts, the special attacks I once mentioned in passing, as well as items to heal. The fight isn’t hard, but interesting. Afterward, Rosencrantz confirms that Sydney was correct when he said Ashley killed his family. However, it turns out Ashley never had a family to start with. His memories were...fabricated (I guess) by the VKP. Once upon a time, Ash and Rossey were partners who hunted political dissidents and whomever the state wanted. Ashley’s “family” were just some peasants. His memories seem to the father he killed. I have so many questions I’ll get to later.

After this revelation, Rosey escapes and we wander around Leá Monde finally. There are two paths we can take and one of them, I really shouldn't have. I went down into the undercity and immediately fought a Dark Elemental. I did no damage to him and wreaked my face which, because save points are sparse for the first time all game, lost me an hour of playtime. In an attempt to fill out the map (the game keeps track for some reason at boss fights), I went back just to the point of no return and went the other way...but died again before exploring new rooms. There are too many tedious enemies in this area so I started trying to run through which got me in the end. Tedium isn’t a good game mechanic!

Eventually, I got to where I wanted and killed an Air Elemental, got to a save point, and called it a night there in what I think was the abandoned mine B2.

The music of Leá Monde is just atmospheric, along with the city walls so nothing to report on. So I’ll skip to my rhetorical questions I hope have answers in coming nights:
Why did Ashley get the dad’s memories?
Why is the kid helping Ashley?
Why does Ashley have Tia’s necklace?
Does he have memories prior to this event?
How did they transfer memories?

I suspect several of these have answers, ps1 game plot holes aside, but they’re here and I have a headache so I’m going to bed.

Well, this one sucked

As we’re back in Leá Monde, I thought I’d...nope we’re going back down.

After a scene with Glldernstern and his scantly clad girlfriend, Samantha, where they wonder about the dead and night, as well as, Sydney and if he was the Gran Grimoire, Sydney shows up. He asks them how they know and he insults their religion before Gildernstern shows how his magiks as he teleports behind Sydney. “You’re not the only shepherd”, which gives me a bit of a heretic vibe, which is cool. Sydney then shadow steps into a wall and Ashley chases after them, into the undercity. It’s very blue down here.

The undercity isn’t long, but there is a giant crab I stab in the mouth a lot. Also, a lot of locked doors, so I suspect we’ll be back.

We climb the stairs and enter a forest with, “snowflies”. We get another scene where Ashley meets his stalker, the guy in red, and his name is Rosencrantz. Just before that, Ashley goes clairvoyant again and sees Samantha talking to a female commander discussing how hard it was, and the loss of needed to, successfully take the city (from Müllenkamp, I think). And questions why Sydney summons demons he can’t control. Guildenstern somehow recognizes that Ashley is seeing this and slaps Samantha. Then the talk from the stalker named Rosencrantz.

Rosey is a fellow Riskbreaker. He also knows a lot about what’s going on for...reasons I’m sure are benevolent. As we leave, after being told to leave the city or else we’ll be enemies by Rosey in a big heel turn, a man named Grisson shows up. Grisson is Duane’s brother and he wants revenge. But, for now, we enter the forest. And this forest sucks.

It’s one of those places where paths don’t lead to where you think dungeons and a room exit doesn’t take you to a room entrance where it logically should. A lot of seemingly teleports. The trick is to follow the snowflies. I tried to do that, but it was totally nonsensical. They always come from one direction, which works for the first half, but in many rooms, they just linger. There’s no indication of where to go. And the enemies are quite a doozy. The Fire Element boss from the last night ALREADY is a common mob and there’s another mob that I lacked the proper weapon to kill in a timely fashion. We spent so much time here getting attacked, I almost stopped playing the game. If it weren’t for this blog, I would have.

Onward now, you wander until you fight another dragon. It’s nice fighting dragons so often, but I already feel a bit spoiled. Kill him and another earthquake which also “changes the wind” and we go traipsing off again until we find ol’ Grisson. Grisson is in a fight with Sydney. Grisson tries to summon something, because everyone knows ancient dark arts in the papacy, but fails because he’s tired and “weak”. And then Ashley shows up which causes a rise of anger, or whatever, and he gets up and finishes the incantation which causes a headless samurai to appear.

This battle also sucks since Grissom spams a spell which takes large chunks of hp and a spell which steals your MP. Focus him and s l o w l y dwindle his health until he dies and his summon is easy to take out. Sydney joins you as an ally in this fight, but doesn’t do much due to how the combat works. But it’s an interesting idea none-the-less.

After the fight, Sydney goes back into Ashley’s memories to show him that it was Ashley all along who killed his family. He was tricked into it by his bosses, the VKM, and just forgot about it...? Sydney leaves and we meander to the next save where I rage called it a night.

The music of both places are something you’d find out of a horror movie. Take that as you will. I hate horror movies due to childhood trauma so I wasn't too fond of it and I didn’t listen to it. And I was too upset to listen to the boss battles. I’m terrible, I know.

I’m starting to get the plot. There’s a corrupt holy order secretly pulling the strings of something which is very Ivalice Alliance. But, I’m more curious if Sydney remains the main antagonist. I’d bet we have to kill Gildernstern regardless of plot changes, but how do we side with Sudney? Yeah, he’s probably evil, but does he have a point?

A day where nothing happens

After entering Leá Monde, we greet the sun once more and come to a bit of an impasse. The section of the city we’ve come out to is sectioned off from the rest by a river. We go, let’s say left, and we come to a terrible workshop and a scene where Ashley says we should find another way. Go right, and it’s a scene where we see several knights discussing the undead problem with the city. We then learn they’re working for The Cardinal who has his s, yet unknown, reason for wanting this sketchy stuff. Ashley gets caught eavesdropping and gets into the first human boss battle. Duane and two of his knights. The battle isn’t rough, but I did die once because I was unaware of weapon type.

So here’s a mechanic I probably overlooked as a kid; that’s that all weapons have one of three attack types: bladed, piercing, and blunt. Many enemies are weak to one and strong to another and there is so much diversity that I end up already hating this. In the next dungeon, some rooms have three enemies with two being weak to blade while another, Nearly identical enemy, is weak to another. Luckily, we can switch weapons on the fly in the menu, but it is so tedious doing it again and again, mid-battle and post that it really drags down the game. Life is supposed to be tedious. Video Games are not, developers.

Back to the plot, after we kill poor Duane, we get his stuff and get some mage gear which I’ll forget I have every opportunity I can. He also drops a key to a locked door next to where we entered which is good since we're out of Leá Monde to explore here so back to dungeons, we go. This time to the abandoned mine/city wall. Not much happens here until we fight another dragon. This one was much harder than the opening one, though. I got one-shotted by fire breath so many times so stay close and aim for the tail. There was a bladed axe along with a gem, which are interchangeable buffs to weapons and armor nearby which, probably, would have helped had I not disassembled it. Anyway, kill it and a cutscene happens where Ashley magically can see through the eyes of still kidnapped Merlose. Hardin is freakin out because he’s afraid of, not only Ashley, but all the Cardinal’s Knight's in the town. Sydney gets annoyed, asks if they’re friends and to trust him, and then goes off to do his own thing. As they leave, Merlose sees Ashley’s dead son. Ashley regains sentience and walks on while we see a man in red trailing him.

We continue on until we fight a Fire Elemental. He beats me quickly so I explore around and begin to take notice that the game does a good job of putting the gear you need to kill the boss before the boss. A water gem to equip to a weapon and a spell to resist fire, as well another spell, which increases water damage. With these, I defeat him with ease. And, after a few more rooms, walk back out into the city, just across the river from where I started in the longest 50 feet in video games.

The music of the catacombs was an action-packed orchestrated number that I wasn’t in to. I’m not normally into fast-paced songs in video games, and I’m kinda over the grand orchestrated numbers video games are applauded for these days. I don't know why; I'm just a guy who prefers a sad, sorta tuned, guitar over a good brass section. It was good, though, don’t get me wrong. Just not for me.

Not much plot so, now that we're back in the city, let's see how long it’ll last, and maybe we can find a better workshop that isn’t as limited so I explore IC better.

As I expected, this was much shorter at 35 minutes. Last time, I’ll jot the time unless it’s weird, I promise.

The one where I explain my blog name

Now that I’ve caught up with my "recorded" backlog, I can begin to follow through with what I had planned all along. My goal was to try to play through a game and review it one dungeon at a time...but hopefully more. One day, one dungeon, one review of said dungeon. I discuss the music, character growth as they come, plot developments, etc. I think it'll be fun and give me a better appreciation of the game. Or to better articulate why I hate it, in some cases. And this is the day which I begin my journey! I thought about doing something iconic like Final Fantasy VII, but I instead will be starting with a seemingly random game (and it certainly was random), Vagrant Story.

I can’t remember the last time I loaded up Vagrant Story and I remember absolutely nothing about it other than the combat confusing, maybe, preteen me. It’s kind of the bastard child of the Ivalice Alliance Story (Final Fantasy Tactics and XII) since it wasn’t supposed to be included until a Square higher-up declared it. The director of all the games, Yasumi Matsuno, only wanted to add easter eggs to his other games, not make it actually set in Ivalice. It doesn’t ruin any lore, so I think this a good fit.

The first thing to note of Vagrant Story is its unique combat. It’s a bit of turn based, hack and slash. Everything happens, for the most part, in real-time. Enemies come at you at will until you press O, it’s a Japanese control scheme, yeah, so that sucks. But once you hit that button, time stops allowing you to wail on your target as only you can move. At least if you hit your timing. If you press one of three buttons (circle, triangle, or square) you can continue your combo. Not only that, but you decide what your attacks do. More damage, life steal, mp steal, others I haven’t unlocked yet. Defense works in the same way; less damage, counter, restore MP. It’s fun, unique, and innovative. Also infuriating if you suck at QTEs. The same can be done by enemies with their O equivalent, but they, so far, haven't done any combos. So the battle system is real-time, tactical qte. So far, it actually works. There are also platforming aspects as you traverse the dungeon, but that only involves moving one box to the correct spots and jumping/climbing on it. There is also a magic system, learned via books, weapon skills, and crafting. All in a PS1 game.

On to the plot. The game starts off with a man with a wannabe Sephiroth hairstyle sneaking into a burning mansion beset by brigands/cultists to kidnap the Duke’s son. There you get a hands-off, no tutorial, of the battle system. And the first boss is a dragon summoned by a guy you shot who then proceeds to jump out a window. The game sure starts with a bang!

Several scenes telling Ashley Riot, a Riskbreaker, sponsored by The Kingdom of Valencia as he goes to the ruined city of Leá Monde. There he descends into a wine cellar as it’s the only way into the city due to a convenient earthquake destroying all other points on entry. There, you begin to see the dark magiks (sic.) of Leá Monde as Ashley is quickly attacked by zombies and ghosts. The first real boss of the game is the Mighty Minotaur. After some counters, attacks, and numerous heals, he falls and we re-meet the early game main antagonist. Sydney Losttarot, leader of the cult Müllencamp. He has the ability to read a person’s past and he does so here allowing us to start learning Ashley’s backstory. He once had a wife and a son, but they were both killed, during a picnic, by “fallen knights”. He floats away and you chase after him. You fight a few more bosses including a headless Dullahan which leads away from the wine cellar and into the catacombs. A scene occurs where the kidnapped ally of Ashley, Merlose, converses with Sydney and his terrified-of-Ashley friend, Harden. It’s here we see a ghost person who looks like Ashley’s dead son. I think his wife was named Tia, but no word on the kid, yet.

You fight through the rest of the catacombs and eventually fight the stone golem. This guy sucks. He hits hard and is resistant to damage. I read if I had a different weapon type, I’d have been fine, but I kept my spear (piecing) and rode with it. Beat him and you open up the way to Leá Monde proper which is where I called it a night as we meet the third party we’re against, I haven’t learned his name yet, but I think it Rozencarl and/or GuildernLenny.

The music was composed by the same guy who made all the other Ivalice games, Hitoshi Sakimoto and it really shows. Tells you instantly your in my favorite game world. The music, so far, has just been atmospheric, but the bosses have all gotten their own theme. Sadly, I’m a terrible reviewer so I didn’t pay much attention to them, but in my defense, I was way into the combat which is a credit to the most important part of a video game.

There’s night one, and two dungeons down. How many more to go? Dunno. Three bosses laid to waste, and three new. stats because boss deaths are how you gain more stats in the game (no levels, just boss upgrades and the potions they drop). I can’t wait to properly explore the crafting and any other new mechanics that might show up.

One hour. Curious how long it takes without the introduction spew tomorrow so that might be the last time I note the time.

My one time favorite game pt 2

Since Xenogears is such a front-heavy game, and I got lucky with timing beating SO3 tonight, I decided to cut my review in half.

So, anyway, the party sets out on how to bring down Solaris, but first we have to re-save Margie and Nissan. To do that, Fei, Bart, and (let’s be honest), Elly go down to Nissan. I should have taken Elly to the portrait of her doppelgänger, but I forgot. Instead, they go down into a mausoleum filled with dead nuns and princes because that's where the great treasure of Aveh is housed. They walk through halls that look like “ancient” civilizations until they come to a gear hanger filled a great red gear with a giant mohawk. After turning the lights, they learn the crypt was a giant floating gun. And then Aveh attacks. We fight them back and Bart gains the first Omnigear in the game, Andvari. They use it to defeat Shakhan, the puppet king, and Bart declares himself king while blowing up Solaris Gate 1. And then he quits and institutes democracy which the people immediately ignore and declare him president or something. It’s not brought up again. Then they re-plan to the bring down Solaris.

First, they fire the crypt gun at the tower of Babel where Elly’s magic friends lose to us while Billy blows up his church’s headquarters because that’s where Gate 2 is.
Billy’s plot relevance is now over.

The third gate is in the ocean so the party hangs out with the MAN! OF THE! SEA! who helps them out allowing the party to go into the Mariana Trench. There they find the naked 4008-year-old nano girl, who is now clothed, and in a gear. Her name is Emeralda, her gear is Crescens. and we beat her up, she joins the party and she calls Fei Kim because they look, coincidentally, alike.

With all the gates destroyed, Solaris is finally visible on the map, along with the other random lands they’ve been hiding for some reason. The party goes there, Maria breaks the weird gravity barrier.
Maria’s plot relevance is now over.

Fei gets sucked into a tube while Elly and Citan (not sure if it matters who you bring) go elsewhere. Fei ends up in, yet, another prison until Elly saves him and takes him to her house where Fei meets her parents. It’s real romantic. Until they hack into Elly’s dad’s (who is a high ranking solider) computer to learn where everyone else is (jail). Fei leaves Elly behind because she’s too nice and Fei hates women, meets back up with Citan. Elly catches up because her dad called the cops and she peaced out because she's a wanted criminal which makes her parents rethink their lives.

The three of them fight through several strange labs, learn Solaris eats zombie people, which Citan knew, and said nothing about. Eventually, Elly and Citan randomly disappear. Fei gets trapped, again, and we see him turn in to the red-haired guy who’s been plaguing us who Citan has named Id because he liked Sigmund Freud. Here we learn Fei’s past and, ohhhhhh boyyyyyy.

So this Fei isn’t real, but is a construction of child Fei's mind who was made because real Fei’s mom beat him. Not only did The Coward, as Id calls him, make Fei, but he also made Id. The Coward is Fei’s ego, Id is his id, and Fei is a three-year-old superego created after Id fell asleep for the first time three years ago. We later learn there’s a fourth persona somewhere, but that's not expanded upon. Fei wakes up, everyone is there. Citan admits he’s been sent by Solaris to stalk Fei and that’s why he knows everything.

They go to an exit, forgetting their plan to destroy Solaris. Hammer kills Elly’s mom. Ramsus’ right-hand woman, Miang, kills her dad and Fei turns in to Id who blows up her home. Mission Accomplished!

Back in Shevat, they plan to put Fei into carbonite like Han Solo, but he escapes along with Elly to go retire to a farm. Until Ramaus shows up and kills them and that’s the end of disk 1.

Disk 2 sucks. Square took all the budget from Xenogears to finish Final Fantasy VII and the devs turned it into a visual novel. It starts with a flashback to a previous incarnation of Fei and Elly named Lacan and Sophia. The painter who painted the Holy Mother of Nissan. Afterward, we return to Fei and Elly being revived by a really old dude named Taura. Citan shows up because he still knows everything. Taura also allows Fei to tap into Id in his gear. We now ride Weltall-2 to beat up Ramsus while Elly shoots a missile into the air to remove a limiter implanted by Solaris into the land dwellers somehow. It goes poorly as everyone turns in to zombies. A lot of scenes happen and it’s all confusing Elly acts like a savior to the zombies. Everyone loves her. The party looks for Omnigears and finds Billy’s. The zombies grow in number. The Solaris Emporer, Cain, is killed by Ramsus. Rico gets his Omnigear. The ship from the opening cutscene I didn’t talk about rises from the ocean. We kill god. The stupidest scene in video games happen.

Okay, so Miang and her friend Krealian kidnap Fei and friends, minus Elly who’s helping the zombies, and crucifies them. Well, not them, their gears. All the gears are crucified. All the robots are tied to a stick. This includes Cui-Chu, who can just changer her size, and Maria, who sits on the head of 17. Everyone else has s just sitting in the cockpit of their crucified robot. Stupid.

Elly shows up in her Omnigear, the same ridden by Sophia, but loses and Krealian lets us go as he kidnaps Elly and she leaves our party for good. I replaced her with Emeralda. More confusing stuff happens and Fei is frozen in Carbonite for real this time until Id breaks out and goes to the place where the Zohar fell to the planet 10000 years ago. There we learn all about Fei. We learn his mom was possessed by Miang and that’s why she beat him. Eventually, all the personas combine again and Weltall turns in to Xenogears after learning Graph is Lacan, Wiseman is Fei’s dad and Fei and Elly are reincarnations of the first humans on the planet. Or, more apropos, Fei (Abel) was the only survivor and Elly was his dream girlfriend/mom while Cain and the Solaris Gazel are the first people made by the Zohar/Deus. Like, I said, confusing.

Then the final dungeon when all the zombies combine into god. We kill him, then Miang. Fei hangs out, nude, with Elly and Krealian and the games over. Everyone on the planet is gone so...happily ever after?

I’ll wrap this up fast.
The music is top-notch and one of the reasons why I’m a Mitsuda fanboy, but the combat is where Xenogears shines.
It’s turned based, ATE, but with a fighting game-esq combo input. Attacks are inputted with a three-button combo and, if inputted in a certain way, creates a super attack. Gear combat is kinda similar, but you need to build-up to the special attacks. It's easy, through; 1 rank (up to three) is just one attack. Eventually, you get the ability to perform super combos which are more damaging and easier on the fuels but only for a limited time.

Xenogears used to be my favorite game. It’s still top five (four) and I don’t see it dropping much further. Even though the convoluted story which takes several playthroughs and even more wiki-dives to get, budget cuts, and dropped plots (The Slayer of God?) Xenogears shines unlike game before, or since.

And hour and a half, believe or not.

My one time favorite game pt. 1

I first learned of Xenogears while playinging the demo disk which came with a friends copy of Parasite Eve. Proving I’ve always been a hopeless romantic, I fell in love immediately.

The game starts out in, what becomes seen as a flashback, a scene where a man with long hair is fighting in a black, giant robot while a guy in green tells him to leave. Long hair fella takes out some other giant bots as the camera zooms into a PS1 era flame.jpg flame and then panning out to it was a painting all along. That scene never happens and I’ve never fully understood why it’s here. The story behinds and We learn the long hair guy is named Fei Fong Wong and he has amnesia. The only thing he knows of his past is a hooded man brought him to Lacan three years ago covered in blood. We then learn that his only friends in the world, Tim and Alice, are getting married tomorrow. There seems to be unrequited love going in a way or two, but, luckily for them, the wedding never comes. Yes, luckily.

The night before the wedding, giant robots show up and wreak the town. Fei, after having committed baby bird-i-cide, gets into the same black gear he was in during the flashback to help defend the town, even though he doesn't know how. It matters naught. After seeing his friends die before him, we see him replaced with Abel from Xenosaga and then a bright light.

He wakes up the next morning to be told by Doctor Citan, the man in green, that Fei went mad and blew up the town, along with most of the inhabitants. The survivors are, and rightfully so, upset and exiles him from the ‘town’. He then gets lost in a nearby forest until a hot redhead yells at him in another language before she gets jumped by forest elves. Fei screams her name, despite not being told it, and saves her. She wakes up later than night; they introduce each other and bond. The next day they try to leave the forest, but Elly confronts Fei and Fei goes through some major depression episode. The massacre of his action isn’t just blown off, but there are some major consequences as he asks Elly to kill him. At the time of release, this was a heavy scene. Rarely do such major stakes happen right off the bat and even more rarely do main characters get so real at times they should. Fei isn’t some great hero, but a normal dude.

After this, Elly abandons him in the forest and is rewarded by being attacked by a dinosaur. Fei comes to senses and tries to fight it, only for it to be a waste until Citan shows up, with the black gear Weltall, which Fei reluctantly gets in to save Elly. The dinosaur falls on her anyway, but overlook that.

That night, (lotta nights in this forest) Elly wakes up from having a dino fall on her and meets Citan, who knows who she really is. Elly is a solider from a secret space nation who secretly runs this world and it turns out she’s actually responsible for Weltall being in the village. She leaves before Fei wakes up and the two men proceed on their separate way. Right into the desert.

There we meet some dude named Grahf who knows about Fei and has him right a worm after reciting poetry. In the aftermath, the local Aveh army captures Fei and Citan. They don’t stay locked up for long as s sand pirate attacks the army. And then Fei. And then he sinks into a sand cave where Fei learns he’s riding in the gear nicknamed The Slayer of God by an old hermit which really helps Fei’s confidence and desire to be a warrior. Not! So they leave the cave, Fei and Bart fight a foreshadow of what’s to come in 30 hours before reuniting with Bart’s crew, who Citan knows because Citan knows everything for what are probably benevolent ways.

Bart gets attacked the next night, in his own hideout, but Fei doesn’t help because he’s a hippy before he realizes the people attacking are actually evil and not fighting in of itself and then saves the day. Fei and Citan then join Bart’s coup to reclaim his throne because Bartty is the secret prince of this kingdom who was dethroned by the secret space kingdom. Step one in this coup is saving a nun.

It involves a martial arts tournament where Fei meets the best character in the hame, Big Joe! Joe sucks at fighting so Fei wins and then fights another hooded fella named Wiseman and is crowned the martial arts champion. While this happens, Bart sneaks in the castle via the sewers to also save his cousin/girlfriend Margie who is the Sacred Mother of nearby Nissan, a theocracy across the northwest straight. It goes well and Fei meets up with Elly who helps them escape in a gear that’s not being tracked, I guess.

They return Margie to Nissan and try the coup for real this time. It goes poorly. Bart gets ambushed because he went in to the castle the day he escaped (high alert, guys) and Fei beats a drugged up Elly before watching Bart’s subordinates get trashed by a Grahf powered guy with a plus on his face. He goes mad again and We switch to Bart who gets his ass kicked by a red gear who also destroys an entire squadron of Aveh gears.

Fei wakes up days later in Kislev, Aveh’s arch-enemy, and has to fight a demo-human named Rico who is the battle champion of the prison/state-authorized gear fight club. Until he looses to Fei, of course. Citan becomes the prison doctor, which is probably just good coincidence and the three of them beat up a sewer monster who likes bells. Seems mean. After the gear battling, Rico tries to kill the Kaiser, who might be his dad, and Elly and her friends attack so they cab blownup the nuclear reactor. She turns traitor because shes a good person and saves the day. Rico’s plot relevance is now over.

Fei, Citan, Elly, Rico, and Hammer - the merchant- track down a Kisliv plane, board it, and gets shot down by Bart in his new, conveniently discovered new submarine. The party gets split up with Fei and Elly being lost at sea until they’re picked by a Walrus named Captain who is a MAN! OF! THE SEA!

Attacked again bu Solaris, the space country, Fei almost drowns when attacked by his unrequited arch-nemesis, Ramsus, and the other party continues the story. They meet Billy, the gun priest, and quickly learn his religion is a shame. His dad is an alcoholic, his mom was killed by zombies, his sister hates him and doesn’t talk, and his religion is a farce. That's rough, buddy. Then the party goes into a mine which ends up being a 4000-year-old ruin where they find a naked 4008-year-old girl who’s a collection of nanobots before she’s kidnapped by Solaris. While leaving, the red hear which attacked Bart shows up, beats us up, and then fights Wiseman who saves us.

Fei wakes up around this time, and we see him tending to a smoldering Weltall, for ‘some reason’. And the party climbs a tower. We’re reminded that this JRPG is also a platformer and it’s not great, but we reach the top and fight a bigger, badder version of the mech in the sand cave. 17, the gear’s name, is ‘piloted’ by a young girl named Maria who protects the city-state of Shevat which is a secret floating disk on the sky and arch-nemesis to Solaris from, a war 400 years ago. It’s also where Fei and his parents were born. It eventually gets attacks by Solaris and Margie’s stuffed animal Chu-Chu saves the day allowing Maria to kill her gear spliced robot, 18.

Chu-Chu's plot relevance is now over.

Then we figure out how to attack Solaris which I will save for tomorrow.

The start of a new saga...

I first played Final Fantasy I a few years ago when I popped back in my old Final Fantasy Origins disk. Fun fact, that was the last game ever made for the PS1. It was...an experience. Not sure if it was a good or bad experience, but it was one worth having. I’ve been replaying old games to gain a better appreciation for them and I thought this would be a perfect time to replay it. As a break from giant robots and to return to my first love.

I don’t remember what I named my characters in my first playthrough, but this time I decided to go on a journey with my friends, or at least their wrestling personas.
Tryton was our parties tank and warrior.
Drew Carmello was our DPS and monk.
His twin, Xander, was our thief, only because it the most sense since bard isn’t a thing and the leader of the C-Men ain’t no mage.
And, finally, Cidalfus Gainsborough was the parties everything when I went Red Mage. And I also have the best hat, which is what mattered most.


No one is really sure where we came from or how we got there, but all four of us had shiny stones and showed up in front of Cornelia Castle. We walked into town for a rest and to buy gear until a knight found us and brought us to the king. King Rex said we were special youths and gave a task far beyond our placement.

Our first task was to save the princess, and seemingly heir to the throne of Cornelia, Sarah, who has been kidnapped by treacherous knight Garland. Seems like a big task for a bunch of strange kids, but who am I to question a king? Garland surrounds himself with bats which we easily dispatch. Our great battle against the dark knight went...well, the same. He was a pushover.

We returned to the castle and was rewarded with a bridge. Not sure why the bride was destroyed or why it wasn’t already repaired, but, again, who am I to question a king?

We then went east to some city I don’t recall, Provaka I think, and beat up some pirates. We took their ship as punishment. Sadly, I’m seasick so I felt like I was the one being punished.

Our next destination was the Elf Kingdom to the South. The ruler there has been asleep for several years. Rumor has it, the dark elf Astos curse the prince. His whereabouts are, allegedly, to the west. We traveled to a cave filled with poisonous monsters and there we got lost. Great place to get lost! But also a great place to get strong. We eventually find our way to the bottom and bite back against a vampire. He dropped a crown which Xander tried to don. The t didn’t fit so we searched around other parts of the southern continent until we came upon a ruined keep. There we found a nice old man who we gave the crown to only for him to turn into Astos! After a long fight, we were able to vanquish the foe. Sadly, Xander died. So Tryton had to carry the corpse of this loser all the way back to Elfheim to give him a proper burial. Fortunately, a local priest told us he could revive him for a small fee. We caved and gave him the gold and, low and behold, it worked. Xander breathed again with no ill effects. What a strange world. Shortly after, Drew said he found a crystal eye on Astos' corpse. We found it odd he didn’t morn his twin, but who am I question twins.

Hearing another rumor about a blind witch named Matoya, we sailed to her cave, ran into talking brooms, and returned what was her eye. She gave is a potion to wake the elf prince as thanks so we cured him of his curse. He allowed us to loot his castle as thanks and we found gunpowder therein. What’s a gun?

Setting sail once more, we circled the lake until we came upon the industrious dwarfs. One of their ilk was searching for a way to build a canal between the lake and the ocean. He have up and decided to just blow up the land when we gave him the powder. Effective.

Once more, unto the sea, we came upon a small town in the middle of a wasteland. Locals say this used to all farmland, but it looked like badlands to me. Evidently, the cause was an undead lich. We found our way down to his lair and, while only just, we survived. Tryton’s crystal resonated with the Earth Crystal Lich was guarding and restored its power.

Once more, again, onto the sea. Across the ocean was a town called Crescent. There we found twelve old dudes who said we were chosen to save the world. They have us a canoe. I never liked camping, but they told us we’d need it to reach the fire crystal in nearby Gulg Volcano. We got lost and ended up in an Ice Cave instead. There we fought a floating eye and won a floating stone. We tried to return to town, but got lost again (stop putting me in charge of navigation) and wandered around the desert for a bit until our Floatstone began to resonate with something and, from under our feet rose a ship. But not a normal ship, this one can take to the skies. We got on and, totally ignoring the prophecy, went about the whole world!

Long story short, we found a talking dragon. Drew wanted to fight him and I nearly had a heart attack out of him being so rad, but he didn’t react to our eccentrics and told us of another abandoned castle where we’d find a token of courage. It was a Rat’s Tail!? We took it back to Bahamut planning to give him a piece of our mind, but, instead, he made us stronger.
Tryton became a Knight and learned how to use white magic.
Drew became a freakin’ ninja and learned black magic.
Xander just learned how to punch better, we guessed.
I only got a cooler hat. Did I win?

Recalling we had a prophecy to fulfill, we went back to the volcano, walked through lava, and accidentally killed a snake woman named Marilith.

Our next target ended up being on the northwest continent. We talked to a robot, paid way too much for a fairy who we later freed and, as a reward, got some grass. Not even the illicit kind of grass. Just grass. She said we could breathe underwater with it, but I can’t swim so who cares?

Was my face ever red when we learned the next crystal was underwater, oh boy! So down we went and found a small village of Mermaids. No redheads so I was fine not staying. And then we beat up the Kraken which took out Drew. RIP Drewseph Carmello. So we went back to our Necromancer, paid him, and back Drew came. 100 percent of Necromancers are good people, it turns out.

Our next dungeon was quite the doozy. First, we had to land in the middle of nowhere, walk through the woods (RIP Xander’s clothes) and talked to an ancient race of people with worse hair than me. 100 percent worse. They told us about the floating castle so up we went.

After climbing a tower, we were teleported to the aforementioned castle where we finally beat up a dragon. I was in heaven. Tiamat went down with surprisingly little effort because we really are the children of prophecy. Or at least Tryton is as we just supported him. He’d be nothing without my heals.

While up there, we noticed energy from all the crystals was going to where we killed Garland. So, thusly, we returned. We were then teleported 5000 years into the past. Fighting our way to the bottom floor, we found the Dark Knight Garland! We also fought the four fiends again, but they were even easier than the first time. At the bottom, we fought the Knight once more!

He beat the snot out of us.

“Somehow”, we woke back up and escaped the dungeon. We then to grind in the “extra” dungeons which took us to all sorts of extra dimensions. The afterlife, Fairyland, Disneyland Chernobyl, and there we killed bosses who shouldn’t even be born yet because time is weird. Tryton died once, at some point, which left us in a pickle, but a bird feather fell on top of him which allowed him to wake up, because he's allergic to birds, and continued on. There we fought, gained some experience while gaining new equipment, and tried our luck against Garland again. After an immeasurable amount of time, and me spamming heals left, right, and center, up, down, and somewhere in a direction not possible in 3D space, we succeeded. Then something about no one knowing what we did because time loops and...uh...we got confused. But, I’m the only one who never died so guess who has bragging right on our Super Smash Bros nights?

So, yeah, FFI on the PS was pretty hard while the PSP version seemed really easy. Until the last boss, at least which made everything really fun. My friends and I may never have our once planned D&D game so, this might be the next best thing and I’m glad I replayed this. I no longer think the game was mediocre and now think it’s great. Not sure if I’d recommend it any differently, but it is a must-play for RPG fans.

An hour and a half of creative writing is what I’d consider worth it.

The saga ends...

Xenosaga Episode III: Thus Spake Zarathustra is a bittersweet ending to a franchise that, even fourteen years later, I’m clamoring for a reboot/sequel. It takes what the other games did, dismantles it; makes it simpler, but does everything it wants and needs to.

Before I get to the story, I’ll start with the new mechanics. Character battles have been “dumbed” down to being a more typical turn-based RPG. Gone are the near and far/physical and ether attacks which have been replaced by an archetypal choose your attack from a menu or two and they just act. It’s a good system that works in game-after-game and, while I’m sad to see the old guard go, I can’t complain. It just works. Growth and new skills are a fun new thing where each skill and additional stat points are on one of two skill lines. One offensive and another defensive. Those are vague terms that don’t really work, but it’s official. One skill line can have big single target attacks and ether skills while the other has break attacks and multi-hit physical attacks. It’s an effective way to keep characters different while giving players choice. The only thing that returns from prior games is a simplified brake system. It’s simplified in that it’s now another bar, like hp, which needs to be filled. Players also have one and it’s a good “fix”. It suffers from the same effects from the last game in boss fights, though.

ES fights are even more simple. Use your energy to attack and build up to special attacks. It’s simple, maybe too simple, really. Ubermech battles also suffer from boss battles that last too long and they quickly become tedious. It really is a shame. Second biggest negative of the game.

Now, the tutorial dungeon. The worst thing about the game is Shion’s suction cup footsteps. Everyone’s walk sounds are terrible, but Shion is the worst. Regardless, Shion does a dive into Vector’s database which, once again, goes well and unpunished. You’d think a galactic Microsoft which deals in various weaponry would care about being hacked but, nope. After the dungeon, we get the much-needed beach scene with Shion on vacation a year after game two. She gets a message from Allen, her creepy lover about the future of KOSMOS and she’s being discontinued. Shion goes to Second Miltia. I think there’s a sid month time skip here, too.

So Shion is on Miltia II and we learn she suffers from headaches which causes her to blackout and hear voices. Then she wakes up, goes to Vector HQ, legally this time, meets Fei from Xenogears and watches Kossy get beat up by the final boss from the last game, Super Ultra Giant Mech Omega Res Novae. Fortunately, half of the cast is there and they help Shion break into Vector HQ because a galactic Microsoft really sucks at security. Gets Kossy’s body from the trash and then we go into space.

I just want to take notice of HaKoxx which is a wired Lemmings-esq game where you have characters playing themselves in an arcade game to reach a portal while avoiding pitfalls. It’s really...uh...strange. But unique.

Next up is Space France, Rennes de Chateau which is a real place on Earth with a bunch of conspiracy theories about Jesus and a Mary, but that's beside the point. New conspiracy theory: why is a small landmass from Earth floating in space light years away 2700 years from now?

We’ll never know, but we will get on our ubermechs, don’t ask where Jin’s came from since we’re not in them long. We quickly walk through a graveyard that hides a gravity-defying puzzle with magical floating blocks. Was this here when it was still on Earth? We walk until we reach a stone cross behind twelve graves which looks like the cross Kossy was crucified on in game one. Probably reuse of recourse, right? There we fight a hotter, darker; Kossy named T-Elos. She kicks our asses so bad we go back in time to Miltia, just before it went to hell.

While here we see why Virgil has his face scar, learn about Shion's parents and their sketchy past, learn that Shion’s first boyfriend killed Shion’s mom - sorta, and discover that Shion is the reason the space amoebas are here. We also learn the voice Shion hears during her headaches is the voice of God. NBD, really. Then we learn the guy who Ziggy hates sent them back in time because his organization needed a double dose of Shion to summon a solar system sized space amoeba called Abel’s Arc, which appeared when Jesus died. Where's that conspiracy theory group? Kosmos also gets a new body which is cool.

After this, we go into the first game’s final dungeon and immediately leave because we need to infiltrate the Arc. There we fight several Omnigears from Xenogears and kill jr.’w dad who possessed jr.’s brother. Ya know, average Thanksgiving dinner.

From here we go to the final dungeon where we finally kill everyone in U-Tic while also finally giving my man, Ziggy, backstory. 100 years ago, on this planet, he was a cop chasing after a man who kills babies via the internet. The killer kills Ziggy’s family and Zig kills himself. That killer is the Black Testament, Voyager. We kill him. Eventually, we beat up Shion’s first boyfriend, Kevin, and his boss who was also Shion’s boss and Margulus’ boss. He’s also in charge of time. Real workaholic, this one. After the fight, we beat the game. I cry as a few characters don’t return and watch Shion, Jr., Allen, and the Elsa crew fly back to Earth, where ever that may be. Everyone else stays behind to reinvent the internet.

Xenosaga Ep 3 really is a fitting end to the wanna be sextuple saga (I almost went with sexsaga, but I feared that might lead to some confusion). It has, perhaps, the best graphics on the PS2, which hold up as good as they can. The music returns to being enjoyable, even though it was composed by one person from the last game. The characters get their needed arc even if some get more than others (stares at Jr. while crying at Ziggy, who should have had Pied Piper playable here). If game two was as good as game three, Takahashi-san might still be making Xenosaga games instead of the unrelated Xenoblade Chronicles. There's a reason people still want to play these games, and that's because they're good. Maybe one day Namco will try to port them to PC or switch and talk about a revival.

Written in an hour, good job me.

I regret this saga

Xenosaga Episode II: Jenseits von Gut und Bose takes everything episode I did except the opposite.

Ep2 starts off with one of my favorite game openings of all time. chaos, with a new voice actor, takes a realion named Cannon and gets into a super-powerful giant robot and jumps out of a plane into an active battleground. On their way down, they destroy several unmanned giant robots including five with one (laser) bullet which is super cool and anime! The tutorial dungeon involves chaos and Cannon, in ES Asher, as they walk through Miltia which, as I skimmed last time, was locked away from conventional space fourteen years ago, meaning this is a flashback. They walk through the streets showing off all the new giant robot mechanics which, are a good thing even if I didn’t fully explore them. They walk until their ubermech gets damaged and they’re saved by super anime samurai guy Jin Usuki, or Shion’s brother who only makes a small cameo in the last game. As a teenage weeb, I loved me some Jin. Jin and chaos (but not, actively, Cannon) walk, on foot, through more streets and tutorial the new character mechanics. They’re kinda iffy.

While the near and far attacks are still there, they are now accompanied by “zones”. Each attack hits a zone. Ether seems to hit zone C, physics go to B, and MOMO, Shion, and certain special attacks hit A. These zones inflict certain statuses to characters, both ally and enemy (which is fair): break and air. These statuses allow the attack to inflict massive damage on defenders. Players can also defend (up to thrice) to stock up on special attack...attacks. In the average fight, I think this works. Most mobs need one break to be defeated so the mechanics are used all game, but in boss battles, it becomes unbearably tedious. Every boss turns in to learning their break combo, stocking up on special attack options, and then unleashing everything...multiple times. If bosses had less health, I think it would be fine, but fights drag on forever and ever and ever. Tedium isn’t good game mechanics.

Back to the plot: Jin and chaos walk until they meet the guy Ziggy fought to free MOMO on the asteroid prison, but he doesn’t have a face scar. At least until Jin gives him his face scar in one of my favorite cutscenes in video game history. Two men; one samurai and one dark knight, on a ruined battlefield, on top of a building, in a heavy storm at the end of the world swinging swords and using magic. It’s so freakin’ rad!!!

And then a black abyss envelopes them and we wake up learning that was all a memory of Cannon getting his check engine light looked at. We then cut to Shion and co as The Elsa lands at a spaceport and they go their separate ways. Shion and Kossy go the Vector while jr. and the others go with MOMO to get her check engine light looked at and the camera stays with them. Which is good because they get attacked on-route by two ubermechs. They run through the non-ruined city until the get into a fight and win which makes the ubermechs seem pretty weak. Losing to four on-foot combatants. At the end, Asher from the tutorial shows up indicating jr. had the the mech the whole time but never used it? Why?

Eventually, MOMO goes under the hood, and Albedo shows sup to steal her personality. This unities the whole party to dive into MOMO’s subconscious like they did with Kossy last time to learn her origin story. She was modeled after the real daughter of her creator, Joachim who died on Miltia. We stay there for the totality of disk 1 until we beat up Albedo and get MOMO’s memories back which he used to open to the gate to Miltia and to see Shion naked...for what I’m sure is a reason.

On disk 2, they plan to go to Militia, undercover, and they include Jin for what I’m sure are reasons. Everyone except for Shion. Shion has to work until she quits and steals classified tech for Kossy which goes over, actually pretty well. Next they get attacked by a bunch of filthy space migrants. Their ships are planet-sized, but we only meet three people here; those ubermechs our characters fought on foot and their direct superior. We drive them off and head to Miltia. This is a wonderful part of the game as our ubermechs (named after the lost tribes of Israel) walk through the wasteland at sunrise. How they got all of these ubermechs is never explained but whatevs. We walk past a few places we recognize from the tutorial until we get to our destination: Labrinthos, a giant tower secretly owned by U-Tic, Ziggy and Jin’s sworn enemy. We get off our cool robots and go on foot and then the game falls apart.

This dungeon is not only long but also kinda hard. Which makes it tedious. All the enemies are mini-bosses so battles take five minutes and there's a lot of them. This lasts until you have another fight with Margulus (the sworn enemy) who in charge of both the filthy migrants and U—Tic; they’re the same shadow organization and also a religious sect with origins to Earth 2000 years ago. It was at this point, I gave up. This boss is everything I hated about the game. Long, tedious, boring, difficult. I was getting sick of playing the game long before I got here and, since I wanted to get on to game 3, I just stopped and watched the rest of the cutscenes on Youtube. I know, it's a shameful copout I should have manned up, but, look. I pre-ordered this game (and got a movie of episode 1 as a bonus) so I can stop playing whenever I want.

To sum the next hour of movies up, Miltia turns into a giant robot and the party goes after it, kills the Pope, and we meet mysterious teleporting cloaked power rangers which causes Ziggy to finally get character growth as he gets mad at the Black one. There’s a joke about police brutality there, but I’m not gonna make it.

Finally, jr. goes on a quest to recombine with Albedo, who we learned was his conjoined twin during the MOMO dive.

To finish this, the music is terrible. Matsuda did not return and it shows. The voice acting has taken a dump as everyone, but jr., has a new voice. There are so many unanswered questions in this game and it’s...it’s just bad. Early Xenosaga got a bit of developmental Hell for a bit and I’m guessing a lot of things got cut. While the graphics were greatly updated and feel less “anime”, I think other, more important things, were cut and it’s a shame. I’ve also read episodes 1 and 2 were supposed to be one game so, it all kinda checks out. These games need a remaster. Sometimes innovation isn't a good thing. I hate thinking this game killed the franchise, but it might have.

An hour and a half. Almost made it. Let’s see how I feel about the exciting, and well worth conclusion.

The saga begins

Xenosaga Episode I: Der Wille zur Macht was a game that only interested be due the man who developed it, Tetsuya Takahashi, who also directed Xenogears which was, at the time, my favorite game. It’s not something I would have looked at otherwise since I’m not into giant fighting robots. Space, JRPGs, and weird foreign titles, yes, but not giant space robots.

The game opens up with a surprisingly short opening cutscene for how movie-like the game is. The tutorial dungeon is in a virtual space/testing ground for a blue-haired robot who just seems out of place when there are giant robots but okay.

And then downtime as Shion walks the length of a spaceship to deliver the data from the test which, probably could have just emailed. And then the game ramps up. Giant space amoebas attack and really mess things up. Like, everyone dies, including the cannibal with face scars. Eventually, the great McGuffin, KOS-MOS, wakes up, saves Shion and repeatably tells her, “I need to be cleaned”. Then everything blows up.

The blue-haired robot named KOS-MOS floats through space until she hits a nearby salvage ship who makes a necrophilia joke before they allow her, and eventually Shion and co on, thanks in part to the advice from a guy named chaos (in all lowercase, to my chagrin) who hates doors but can teleport.

Then we jump playable characters to a cyborg named Ziggurat 8 who’s tasked to save another type of maybe robot girl named MOMO (she got all the capital letters instead of chaos) who is a realian. I don’t know what a realion is, either. He breaks her out of an asteroid prison, she tells him his name is dumb to only go by Ziggy because he's a dog, and they fight with another dude with a facial scar. They meet up with Shion and party, fight some more robots, wash dishes, and wonder why Andrew Cherenkhov is going crazy as they get eaten by a gnosis/space amoeba. They walk through an amoebaed city discovering nothing of lasting plot relevance. They get into a boss fight that is REALLY FRICKIN’ hard. It was on release and it’s still nineteen years later. Maybe good game design?

So then we switch MCs again to a boy named jr. who shoots things which is, honestly, very sensible when everyone else is using melee. I’m still not fond of him, though. No reason why, really. We just never clicked. Anyway, he walks through a battleship owned by the same people who imprisoned MOMO. A reference to game III is here, which is rad, and then they blow it up. Then they meet up with the recently freed from amoeba boi crew and go to the space beach owned by jr. because he’s actually a billionaire or something for reasons never really explained. What’s a Kukai and what’s it do?

The next dungeon is when the entire foundation gets arrested by the Galaxy Federation because of a deep fake and a traitor in the federation which is never expanded upon. They all do another dive into KOS-MOS (the K stands for KOS-MOS because Shion sucks at naming things) because she’d have the proper video recordings. But for some reason, they all go back in time fourteen years to the forbidden planet of Miltia as it became forbidden when everything went to hell. We explore somethings about Shion and Jr. (and no one else despite all but Ziggy being there) and fight a boss to get free and retrieve the video. Game III will answer all of those questions.

Then the charges drop just like that because space courts drop charges with the appearance of any evidence...and them the space amebas attack again.

I spent three days on this goddamn boss only to discover that jr. has a spell which silences even bosses and it became a joke. I hate this game (but really just my life). MOMO gets kidnapped by jr.'s eccentric and slightly maybe pedophiliac brother Albedo the Albino so we go into space pyramid which plays a generic three-note code found in several movies and tv shows. Don’t play South Park around robots. And the final dungeon which looks likes the final dungeon in Xenogears. They blow it up and KOS-MOW grows angel wings to help the ship from blowing up.

EP 1 is probably the best all-around game in the series. II does things better, but also damning flaws of its own. The characters don’t get THAT much growth, but we shouldn’t expect them too since we all know Xenosaga is a marathon, not a sprint.

The battle system is fun. Two-button attacks, one near and one far which sets up the abundance of special attacks. Everyone has their spot, except MOMO who is too fragile to properly utilize. I prefer Shion, KOS-MOS, and Ziggy, but chaos is definitely someone I wish I utilized more often. He’s kinda black magey but there are no real FF style archetypes in this game.

The worst part of the game is the lack of music. The official OST lists 45 songs, but I’ll be dammed if I heard all 45 in my playthrough. Most get played so infrequently I couldn’t name where they’re played. Most of the dungeons and peaceful areas are just quiet and white noise. Yasunori Mitsuda composed the music so I’m disappointed since I'm of the people who prefer him Uematsu.

The only other real qualms I have a Quality of Life things which come from two decades of time so what can ya do. They get better in future games. That and the giant robots are totally meaningless. I used them in one late-game boss battle. They're too expensive to properly maintain and pretty void character uniquenesses.

This only took me 45 minutes to write so I think I made my progress goal. Good job, me.

From the penthouse to the outhouse

I pre-ordered the collector's edition of Final Fantasy XII. I picked it up a few days after it came out. Despite that, I remember it being mediocre, even at launch. The cost suck fallacy did not work on me.

The games start out looking absolutely beautiful, even fourteen years after the fact. There’s a beautiful wedding clearly involving high ranking members of society and we quickly learn it’s a princess and her, seeming, lover who is also royalty. It's nice that a royal wedding isn’t just about position. Quickly though, troops are forced to amass in front of the same castle where just days, if not sooner, a happy event took place. We then jump to a night battle atop castle ramparts. Everyone is wearing helmets except for the two people who are probably important. The guy who just married gets shot by an arrow as a castle pailing explodes and an airship hovers above a desolate field covered in blood and metal.

Next up is the tutorial dungeon where everyone dies because one of the guys not wearing a helmet suddenly changes his voice.

Then we meet the main character hunting rats and his love interest telling him he’s dumb and should be working in the shop. Women, right? Trying to be responsible and whatnot. Anyway, Vann is the worst main character in the game. He doesn’t add anything to the plot and is relevan is because his brother was the MC in the tutorial dungeon.

There’s a feast to honor the new leader of the Kingdom of Dalmasca, Vayne, who, despite being the son of the guy who declared war on Dalmaska, promises to bring peace. Nothing comes from this as Vayne starts acting evil for the sake of being the main villain. But only off-screen and via vague references.

Eventually, Vann breaks into the castle and gets stopped by the actual main character Balthier and his dark-skinned, seven foot fall Icelandic bunny girlfriend/cohort/dominatrix/unknown relationship. It’s never mentioned why they're together which is the M.O. of this game: Say nothing.

They break out of the castle and meet up with the should-have-been main character, Amalia (AKA Ashe) who looks a lot like the princess from the opening scene, but no one in this Kingdom knew who their leader was so they don’t dumbfounded.

They get caught and thrown in prison and met up with the guy who killed everyone when he changed his voice, but it’s normal again, and, anyway, Basch should have been the main character. There are now six party members and only two of them have plot relevance.

We head west to find proof that the princess is actually the princess and not some imposter pretending to be a dead girl who killed herself. They get a rock, a summon, and a sword. The rock quickly becomes a powerless McGuffin, summons are useless so who cares, and the sword is never brought up again. They get captured again because the cool guest party member was a double agent and Fran goes crazy from Mist which seems cool but is never brought up.

The party then goes south because the local religious leader is all-knowing. He tells them to get a sword. The sword is useless and it is never brought up again. Also, the local religious leader is killed by the main villain because the villain is EVIL! EVIL! The party then marches to Archades in the north, the capital of the EVIL empire.

On the way, Balthier is finally given plot relevance telling us he’s the son of Vayne’s right-hand man, Cidalfas. They break into the capital by making a lot of people happy, meet the coolest character in the game, Reddas, fight Cid, and they go to a city...crystal...maze...ancient something to find answers to questions that didn’t need to be asked. Everything is run by shadow ghosts, apparently, and has been since ancient times. You see, humans were created to be slaves for these shadow people, but they rebelled with the help of the summons and now one of the shadow ghost people wants to really free humans from their yoke even though I’m not sure how the shadow people who controlling things anyway.

Then we go to a lighthouse on the edge of the world to get another stone to take down the empire, but Princess Ashe finally has character growth, after 55 hours, and changes her mind because the stones are related to the shadow people. Reddas dies and then there’s the final dungeon. It’s short. The boss sucks. Ashe is Queen, Basch is her protector or something, Balthier and Fran are missing, and Vann and Penelo are still homeless orphans. Happily ever after.

Nothing happens on Final Fantasy XII. I know this seems overly truncated, but I barely left anything of importance out. XII is a game with five acts: the intro, going west, going south, going north, and the three dungeon climax is which is suppose to explain and resolve everything. The characters don’t grow at all. All six of them are the very same people at the end of the as they are at the start. Ashe is royalty who wants the kingdom back. Basch is a loyal knight. Bal and Fran are mysterious sky pirates. Vaan and Penelo are orphans with no plot relevance! Remove the last three from the game and it’s the same game.

Even the villain is bland. Vayne appears for all of twenty minutes, does no outwardly evil acts, and is just there. There’s a scene where people say he killed his brothers, but it’s never explained why. We see him standing over his father, who we think he kills, but it’s never explained why. He’s not over-the-top like Kefka, understandingly evil like Kuja, or even cool like Sephiroth. He’s just evil for the sake of being evil. It might have something to do with the shadow people and him wanting the remove humans from their grasp, but their influence is never explained. Even the final act of the game isn't evil. It's protecting his land from an invading force from the far west. Sure, he took the land by force, but it's still de jure his.

Everyone sucks, just like the combat...and everything else. There’s a joke about RPGs that you press X to win, but in XII, it’s press nothing to win. It’s all auto-battle. Sure there’s some pre-battle menu meddling going on but that's all. Buy tactics and program actions in; How exciting.

Character development is tied to a license board which makes everyone the same. The loot system is fully random. There is no reason to explore despite the game beauty and quasi-open worldness of the setting. The chests only have a certain chance of them appearing and only have an even less chance of them having anything worthwhile in them and maybe only if you have a late-game accessory equipped. RNGesus isn’t fun.

The music is lackluster, only having five tracks I added to a playlist. It’s probably better than that, but I’m not into the amelodic nature of the soundtrack.
The characters are one dimensional and most have no reason to be playable. I’d replace them with the guest characters, Larsa and Reddas.
The combat isn’t fun.
Character combat growth is unrewarding.
RNGesus rules the shadow people.
The plot only pretends to be deep, but is simple and then randomly confusing.
The most boring villain and main character in history.

There’s a decent amount of framework here and the game feels unfinished. I kinda feel like we entered a five-part sage in the middle of part four. Add a few sub-plots or subquests about a Pro-Arachaides faction. let us know more about Vayne's backstory. Give the characters time to talk to each other and becomes friends...and grow as people and you can make something out of the plot. Combat and randomness is totally broken, though.

Anyway, I only saved thirty minutes in this review, so I failed. I have given into rage. Maybe next time it’ll be shorter. Anywayer, I give Final Fantasy XII on the PS2 a less than II out of XIII. Second worst game I’ve ever played.

My nine year old white mage is also my tank

I’ve always gone back and forth between what my favorite Final Fantasy game is: IV, IX, or X. After the first week of quarantine (and in lieu of a working FFX), I think my decision has been made.

Final Fantasy IX gets a little flak for being slow to start which, I don’t agree with. The first fight of the game comes ten seconds in, and it’s a boss fight (where you can steal good gear, by the way) and the game introduces the wonderful cast. The humor of Zidane and his crew, the childhood naivety of Vivi, and the stoic/close-mindedness of Steiner all revolving around the high-class, but with a justice-seeking attitude of Princess Garnet/Dagger. As the literal play unfolds and becomes a very... nuanced story for this audience. Brought on by a princess' need to flee and her wannabe abductors, turned liberators, the great protector Adelbert Steiner plays his part in the act by “acting” his part perfectly. As though he weren't acting at all.

I really like the first few hours of FFIX because it introduces us to a good portion of the cast and shows us exactly who they are. Zidane is a cocksure thief (and my favorite of his job), Garnet is a princess with a strong sense of justice, Vivi is a child unsure of who he is in this strange world, and Steiner is an overly loyal/nationalist idiot. Those are good places to start a story from. Many of us are or know people with similar traits. Like Vivi, I’ve been lost in the world for fifteen years. Like Dagger, I just want the see the world thrive. Like Steiner, I’m kinda stupid and occasionally overlook faults of things for what I perceive/hope to be a greater good. While not being him these days, in my youth I was overly sure of myself, akin to our main hero. Nothing came of it but, I used to think I could rule the world.

The play ends when Queen Brahne “bombs” the theatre ship, which in FF terms, means she launched a sentient ball of fire. They land in the Evil Forest and Vivi’s personality takes stage as we’re truly introduced to his fear of himself and his powers. Not a lot of mages in this world, you see. As they fight and exit the Evil Forest, we here the overworld theme for the first time. I mention that because IX has the second-best world map theme....maybe third. The party enters the Ice Cave and everyone falls asleep except Zidane.

I'm going to be notational from here on out rather than in-depth analysis. No one cares about a 20 years old game at this point so I'll get on with it.

Zidane enters the boss fight outnumbered, but being the hero, wins and we move on. I remember reading about a costume change for him if you kill the Sea Lion before the Black Waltz which, sadly, isn’t true, but every time I’m here, I always think about trying it on the off chance.

Anyway, Dali happens and Steiner acts dumb while we learn that Vivi might not be real but manufactured, setting up with his game-long struggle to come to terms with, not only his future but his past.

The coolest scene in FFIX happens and Vivi assists in the destruction of a giant, mountain-sized, door.

Lindblum happens and Freya is my favorite character in the game, mostly because Dragoons are the best class; fight me. I’ve read cut content made her character lost all meaning and growth in the second half of the game so, if anyone at Square was ever thinking about the next FF sequel, it should go to Freya and Sir Fratley.

Chocobo Hot & Cold is my second favorite mini-game ever. Not even gonna question it since it’s not even close.

This is also when the game starts getting real. Gizamaluke's Grotto has a lot of carnage and death. A once whimsical game turns into a war sim and the feeling gets heavy. But it’s only going to get worse. Dozens of rat-men are slain my creatures who resemble Vivi and the enemies even brainwash a peaceful...priest? What was Lord Gizamaluke before this? Another reason to want a sequel!

Then we reach Burmecia, the land of eternal rain (but never floods). It gives you Cancer (a side quest coin) and you see the utter destruction of this town which makes the last dungeon seem like a snowball fight. We meet the truer main villain and get curb stomped by the best character in the game, General Beatrix.

We go back to a re-escaped Garnet and we see how much she’s changed in a short time while we begin to notice that Steiner is beginning to question his Queen. We also learn of what became of Zidane’s crew and their next plan to save their Bro.

Next is Treno where Dagger is definitely changed...and then she gets captured sneaking back into her own house after midnight. She’s put to sleep and her secret essence is stolen from her and, oh boy...

Back to Zidane: they climb a tree. It gets destroyed by a giant summoned Odin. While the party (minus the quirky Quina) escapes to the Queen’s ship, we learn rad-ass Beatrix is also questioning the Queen.

Anyway, we save Dagger, Beatrix kinda joins us, Steiner becomes super cool, and Freya’s arc ends as those three stay back to defend the kingdom while the other party members go to a new continent. Meet the Irish dwarfs and then learn of Vivi’s true origin: he’s a weapon of war made by Kuja, who we met in Burmecia. The other Black Mages he meets tells him of his lifespan and, despite that, they’re trying to live their best lives. Some are shopkeeps, one guy runs an inn, two are raising a Chocobo; truly, a good life lesson. Just try your best and live life to its fullest, regardless of where you came from. fate means nothing to these Black Mages. Everyone seems to be having a good life in spite of all that’s happening around them. Maybe my favorite village in all of video game-dom.

Zidane and Dagger get married, as do Vivi and Quina (Vivi wins this round) and we meet the main white mage of the game. Eiko is a good party member with the best white mage spells, but I always feel iffy using her. She shows up too late and I have this rapport with Dagger already so... Comedic relief it is. She’s also a child Garnet seeing as Maiden Sari is also Dagger's home before it was destroyed before she drifted to Alexandria and replaced the baby princess who she, coincidentally, looked just like. Although, I guess all babies look alike so I can forgive this.

We go to another giant tree, beat a slightly tinier, maybe mechanical, tree inside it. Meet with a useless party member in every way named Amarant. He seems cool and probably the games "needed" edgelord, but he serves no real plot relevance. Maybe in the sequel.

We’re reminded that this game is super heavy when The Queen is killed by Kuja and Garnet, mourning her twice-lost mother, takes the throne and we go to disk three.

Alexandria is destroyed by Bahamut who is, in turn, destroyed by my favorite FF summon, Alexander in the coolest cutscene in FFdom. Fight me. But he's is, in turn, destroyed by the random showing up of a dude named Garland (no from FFI)

Garnet loses her voice and becomes useless for a bit giving Eiko a chance to develop your rapport which is great (but in an annoying fashion) game design. Eventually, the party is split up and you have to do two dungeons with each party side which also shows off that maybe I was wrong about Amarant and he’s a very versatile all-rounder. It’s also around this time Eiko became, not only my healer but also by tank and DPS.

Thanks to the Chocobo Hot & Cold game, you get some end game gear here (and before) for Eiko, Freya, and Amarant with a little exploration. We also learn about the origins of the world and begin Zidane's back story.

Then we chase after Kuja who’s now in an active volcano which plays music from FFI and we meet Cid’s wife (who he cheated on) and get the airship. And then go to a new planet, called Terra, which is actually inside of our planet...or something.

There we learn Zidane is also manufactured by Garland (not the one from FFI) and he
s supposed to destroy the world because Kuja sucks at it. He has a panic attack and a top tier song plays while his friends remind him of who he is and why they’re his friends. He and Vivi have a very similar story arc which is the only real terrible thing about FFIX.

Anyway, we save the rest of gnomes, who Zidane and his brother, Kuja, are, as Kuja destroys Terra because he didn’t suck at his job after all and lights off celebratory fireworks. They meet the Black Mages and we enter disk 4 as we go into the final dungeon.

Yadda yadda yadda, We play cards with invisible gods, and Kuja is beaten and someone name Necron shows up to Amarant all over the place, but pretend he doesn’t exist even if he’s the only hard fight in the game since he just sorta makes everything confusing.

Kuja tells Zidane to live and, a year later, makes out with Queen Garnet and everyone, except Vivi, lives happily ever after.

There was no need for this to be so long, but my love for this game makes me want to write. I’m so happy that Zidane was a charismatic main character and not some wannabe silent protag edhelord. Steiner’s character growth is one of the best in all of video games. Vivi’s bittersweet ending and Garnet turning into a great leader all make me love this game. I’m sad Eiko, Freya, and the rest don’t seem to have clear, albeit seemingly happy, endings but...there’s also my headcannon sequel.

The characters are mostly top-notch, the music is among the best of Uematsu’s illustrious work, and the story being actually kinda coherent, unlike the past few entries into the franchise, all made me want to write poorly scribbled notes into a phone for two hours before bed. Not only my clear choice for best Final Fantasy, but I’ll officially declare FFIX as my third favorite video game of all time. Sorry, Xenogears. Still love you. XOXO

I’m gonna try to make these smaller in the future, I promise. Once I get a clearer vision of what I’m doing and a game I love slightly less, that’ll be easier.

My Lockdown thus far

In the middle of a game; I start writing about the games I’ve been playing. At the end of a pandemic lockdown (round 1), I start writing about video games. As I lie in bed, I write about video games. Why? It’s a question I can't answer and I won’t pretend to know and just move on.

Over the past three months, I’ve been playing old video games, as I stated in the last blog. I started out with Final Fantasy IX, my favorite of the franchise. I then moved on to Final Fantasy XII, my new least favorite of...ever. I then tried Chrono Cross and FFX but, as the “tried” may attest to, the disks no longer work. To ease my pain, and to try to get sports in my life, I messed around with MLB ‘07 (with Derek Jeter on the cover) which I’ve occasionally gone back to for a game or two since. I then wanted to see if FFX-2 was as decent as I remembered. It wasn’t so I dropped that. Maybe I’ll go back to it during the second lockdown in a few months.

At this point, I took a break from playing old games and took a dive into a “new” game (that came out in ‘12 and I had over 1000 hours in:: Crusader Kings II. Game one was a nomadic Altic (modern-day south Russian steppes) because Paradox gave away the Horse Lords DLC. Then I did a Slavic Pomeranian run for no real reason. Then I returned to the old gods.

Starting with Xenosaga Episode I (which just makes sense), I replayed the entire trilogy. Ep I holds up very well, but Ep 2 is hot garbage so I skipped the last dungeon, transferred from my high school save, and went to EP 3. Ep 3 was just as good as I recall and I always thought it was pretty good.

Before heading on to the “other” part of the saga, I booted up Final Fantasy I and made myself and my friends be the Warriors of Light. After that, I moved to Xenogears. Xenogears used to be my favorite game but has dropped over the last fifteen years.

As of now, I’m in the middle of Star Ocean 3 which I started earlier in this lockdown but got bored. Maybe I’ll finish it this time which is why I’m not planning on writing about my playthrough; it just wouldn’t seem right taking a long break. Which, why until I finish/drop it, I’m gonna talk about the games I have played all the way through. I don’t know the whys of why I’m writing, but there’s the short term plan.

And I should probably customize this page at some point, too. And, while I’m here, ruminate of if I should talk about other things I’ve been doing too (books, anime, music, the video game I’ve kinda been working on...maybe). The answer is, "probably" since it might encourage me to finish The Canterbury Tales.

Gotta start somewhere...

For some odd reason, I, like many creative thinkers (wither actually true or not) occasionally get a sorta creative wanderlust and feel the need to write/draw/compose/program/etc. I have, apparently, decided now is the time for my wanderlust.

My chosen topic; video games.

Over the last few months, I’ve been doing my part in saving the world during a global pandemic by doing what I do best: playing old video games. Already, I’ve played half a dozen of my favorite classics. Why I opted to not write as I played them, I’ll never know, but what’s done is done. Why I didn’t wait for the start of a “new” game is, similarly, lost on me. The thing which blows my mind the most is why I started while sitting in bed afraid of sleep. Regardless, my wanderlust is running, but it’s being suppressed by my want to sleep so I’ll return later. Maybe. Who knows? Will my wanderlust continue? Will it perish like many other fights of fancy? Will I continue to type this on a phone (probably). Only time will tell. Good luck and farewell.