Disappointing

It's truly heartbreaking. A Popolocrois game sucks. 

A few months ago, I dove into something new, unknown, and wonderful. I learned of the Popolocrois Monogatari franchise! I instantly fell in love and wanted more. Unfortunately, I couldn't get more at the time. But it actually ended up being the perfect time. About three months ago, unknown to me, a new translation team finished their work on something. The second game of the franchise was brought to the English world! PoPoRoGue's translation was released on ROMHacking.net. I finished up Emerald Dragon, but did not rush, and quickly went into the pre/sequel to my new obsession. Oh, boy...

Let's start with the good! 

It's a Popolocrois game! It looks, sounds, and (mostly) plays like what we know. Pietro is in charge, he swings his sword and learns wind and lightning stuffs on a grid, and he has to save his family. The graphics are the same, and the soundtrack would fit right in on other games. The castle and town themes are even the same for that perfect continuation. 

Buuuuuttt... Now it's a rogue like, sorta, game. Dungeons aren't open now, and they're long hallways that lead to rooms of varying sizes. Mobs, treasures, and interactables are scattered around, appearing in a random fashion. They're usually locked in place, but the rooms around them shift, and the passages can get loopy. It's kinda not fun. Avoiding enemies is difficult, and traveling through old areas is tedious. Monsters want you to kill them, but early game mobs aren't worth it in the late game. The load times are faster than the actual battles, and you only gain three exp. Is it worth backtracking for the new areas that just opened up? Eventually, I said no and just finished the game, or didn't bring the needed character to their unique stuffs. 

It also feels different than the other games because the fun characters we've met aren't here. Narcia can't use magic, Gami is re-re-re-building an empire, and White Knight is MIA. They're replaced by mercenaries. These mercs are irrelevant and have no obvious relation to the plot. Their initial meeting showcases some personality, as do a few skippable scenes when using their services, but they don't remark on the plot and aren't even shown during the story. They're just bodies. Boring and charmless. But they do play differently from each other, but I'm not sure how large the differences are. 

The plot is a slow developing one. Pietro's dad, King Paulo, runs away. This is in response to the town and castle being teleported to another dimension. Several soldiers are sent to find the king, but they're also lost. Everyone is scared, so it's up to Pietro to save them. Along the way, the prince finds the soldiers before finding Paulo. Pietro also discovers the cause of this catastrophe and saves the world! Nothing really happens, though. There's stuff in the few towns you travel across, but the dungeons are just walls to block you, outside of five, where the bosses are. Ultimately, it wraps up nicely, and I liked it, but it was a grind to get there. 

Dungeons are long, taking me over an hour to get through. So there's a lot of nothing happening. It's a very gameplay heavy game. So if you love the loop, none of my critiques will affect you. 

But the dungeons are worth backtracking, though. As you progress, purple walls open up, revealing deeper paths, stronger mobs, and greater treasure. Gear, spells, and skills are all there. The rewards are flashy, unique, and better than anything you'll buy. And you can see your new friends show off. Again, if that's your loop, enjoy the rogue lite/like. Personality, I hated it. 

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Plot: fine. Pietro is as cool as ever, but the secondary characters feel less than tertiary. Villains are just good enough. 7/10

Gameplay: not my thing. Repetitive, tedious, and unfulfilling, unless you're into soft rogue likes. 7/10

Sound: PoPoLo! You've heard one, you've heard them all. 10/10

Art: see above. All dungeons are just palette swaps, and mob variety seems worse than in other games. 8/10

Charm: bummer. The world fits the franchise, and there are enough NPCs to get full points. I liked the cute signposts throughout the dungeons to aid in world building. And exploration, while boring, can be rewarding. Ultimately, I don't want to replay this, and all the negatives make the game last too long. 6/10

As expected, it's a tedious game. -5

Ya know what PoPoRoGue needs? Fast travel. You can warp back to the castle at any time, and there's a spell to get you out of the dungeon, but traveling around the world is neither easy nor fun. There are shortcuts in the dungeons once you've cleared them, but even those can sometimes be a hassle to find and use. But warping between the castle and other towns would speed up the game, hide the monotony, and make the game last longer. It could have added 9 to 10 points. But it doesn't, so PoPoRoGue gets a disappointing 33/50. 

I am so sad. I am so very, very sad. But maybe this isn't just a 'me' game. It probably tickles a lot of people's fancies, but not mine. I'm glad I played it for the sake of figuring out some plot points in PoPo II, but I didn't enjoy it. 

The other Ys IV

Really fumbled the ball at the end, didn't it? 

I first played Ys IV: Mask of the Sun in 2018. It was when I played all the other games in the franchise. I remember playing it, but that's all I recall. Since I want to play all the RPGs for the SNES, I figure now's the best time to replay it. I think I regret it. I want to keep this quick, so... 

If you've played Ys I or II, then IV will feel exactly the same. It's the return of the bump combat. It's fast paced, feels random, and is unchanged in any way. To damage an enemy, simply run into them. But this also damages you, so you have to find the correct angle. Aim for the back, and don't let them get ya. Dungeons are unique with their own mobs, but this falls off at the end of the game...

The plot is also just like Ys I and II. In fact, it takes place days after Adol saved Ys. We see him and Dogi running from Lilia at Minea Port. Doctor Flair joins them as well. You even return there a few times. But this adventure is kicked off when Adol finds a message in a bottle he can't read. It's in a different language, but a friend translates it. He also teaches Adol how to speak in a matter of days, I guess? Once settled in the land of Celceta, Adol gets thrown in jail. He's allowed out and starts looking to save the forest, finding new friends and uncovering new ancient legends along the way. This also falls off towards the end... 

The music is also classic Ys. Borderline metal music for exploration and boss battles. Slow, mellow melodies for heartfelt and relaxing locations. That being said, I was kinda annoyed by some of the town themes. Fortunately, you barely spend any time in them! This did not fall off towards the end. 

The art also follows suit. 

The charm is, well, let's discuss the fall offs here. While the NPCs hang around, and the world feels aliveish, the game over stays. The penultimate final dungeon is an incredibly long maze filled with backtracking. It kills the fun. Doors open up at plot points, but good luck realizing and remembering where the doors are. 

What's worse, the last two bosses are awful. They require being at a high level to do any damage to them. And I, despite grinding an extra level before every boss, was not high enough. I had to grind six more to reach level twenty five. And I still did zero damage! I did cheat to reach that level, so maybe there was an anti cheat or a bug somewhere. I did harm the penultimate boss at level twenty, but failed to at twenty one, so who knows. Regardless, I was not manually grinding those levels. The exp from mobs was too low for how much I needed. This killed the vibe. The plot drops are terrible because they contradict games I and II. It's further ruined by VI and Memories of Celceta, and that's good. The big twist makes Reah and Feena out to be cannibals instead of the kind and loving leaders we know they are. And we don't even know what this great ancient power was, something the game itself points out!

The last four hours ruined all the enjoyment for me. MotS is, apparently, not well liked, but I was loving it until then. The final four hours cost ten points from the final score. I only kinda wanted to play Mask of the Sun, so I'm whipping through this review. The final score is 29 out of 50, 57 percent. 

Between the weird plot, terrible final dungeon, and occasional headache graphics, I don't want to play this anymore, and I'm thrilled to know it's no longer canon. I'm already looking forward to my next game, even if I don't know what it is yet. 

The best RPGs stayed in Japan.

Naza, Nihon!?

After playing all the localized turn based JRPGs for the Super Nintendo Entertainment System, I need to go back to being a weeb! I still plan to compare and discuss the probable whys and hows the US never got the good games, but I've opted to take a greater approach to this topic. I need more data, and I'm starting here. Emerald Dragon! 

My recent YouTube vice president rhythm has been recommending me retro RPGs a lot lately. I don't know why... One of those games is the Japan only, Lunar-esque Emerald Dragon. It pre dates Lunar by three years, by the way, so that's an opposite comparison, but you get the point. The way it was described by reviewers told an interesting and unique story that caught my attention. I wasn't sold on one aspect, which is why it took a while to play, but life is short. Let's get silly! 

In Emerald Dragon, you play as a young dragon named Atrushan, henceforth Atru. Atru lives with a tribe of dragons who were kicked out of the holy land, Ishbahl, thousands of years ago. A curse now permeates the land, killing all dragons who still inhabit the area. Fifteen years before the start of the game, a human ship crashed near the tribe. Humans can't cross the barrier between the two worlds, so something is strange. But one child was saved, though she had amnesia. The dragons renamed her Tamryn and raised her. The dragons rarely mate, so youthful entities are sacred to them. Thirteen years later, Tamryn grows curious about her past and asks to return to the human world. The leader of the tribe, White Dragon, allows it and teleports her away. As a going away gift, Atru rips off his horn and gives it to Tamryn. She is to blow it in case she's ever in trouble. Three years later, Atru hears the horn. 

White Dragon transforms Atru into a human and warps him near Tamryn's whereabouts. He quickly finds her, and he gets caught up in a war between humans and demons, all to save his best friend. Along the way, he meets a wide and colorful cast of characters all fighting for the same thing. Grizzled veterans who care for their fallen allies, a stern priest with a checkered past, a horny prince stalked by his overly formal tutor, aloof and non traditional archers, and five bunny women. There is tragedy, humor, love, and redemption. Someone dies, and it's hilarious for the dumbest of reasons. Twists, turns, war, wars, and we finally learn the hard truth about where Tamryn came from and where they're going at the end. It is an incredible journey that sucked me in.

While on that journey, you play as Atru and only Atru. This is what scared me off for so long. The battle party is five people large, but you only control one of them. You can give orders of who to attack, and (I think) use items, but that's it. You can't even see what spells your mages have. I eventually came around to this when I realized this was a role playing game in the truest sense. You're not playing Cloud and his two friends from time to time. You're Link with backups, Ashe without gambits, or the Dragonborn with more companions. In fact, only Atru and Tamryn can level up. Everyone else only gains levels when they leave the group. They're secondary. Tamryn should have been playable to emphasize her importance and to break up the monotony of being a boring swordsman, but whatever... Keep in mind, Atru isn't a boring swordsman. Dude can transform into a dragon! It only lasts one turn and leaves you in critical condition, but it's hella rad and does a hella amount of damage. And works for the lore! Actions are ruled by "points." Movement drains those points, and every weapon costs a certain amount of them to attack. It can lead to you keeping a slightly weaker weapon because you can get twice as many actions off. It's a neat system that creates some brain scratching options.

Emerald Dragon was originally a PC Engine 89 game, and those visuals were brought over. High quality character portraits are all over the dialogue, and there are even full screen cutouts! It's a unique aspect of the game that you don't see often. Breath of Fire I comes close, but those scenes disappear after the golem. Sprite work isn't as excellent, but it's still well detailed. I find it a bit too blocky for me. 

The soundtrack is beneath the story and character quality. It's not bad by any stretch, I just found it wanting. Nothing jumped out to me as my song, and nothing is stuck in my head. I actually think a few songs are a tad annoying... But there's voice work. It's mostly just people yelling their loved one's name or laughing. But there is the occasional entire sentence to drive home the gravitas. 

Let me gush about the small things real quick. The world feels so neat. It's not the best, but the lore is fleshed out and meaningful. There are so many cute things to experience, and I want to explore further. It's rare that I want more of a game, but Emerald Dragon does it for me. What's really neat is I want to give the original version a try. The PC Engine game has three more characters. They're not huge deals, but it's more of what I want. Also, a different soundtrack that might be better than what the SNES has. 

Emerald Dragon, translated by Translation Corporation, gets an 80%. A slightly better cast of characters, or one who doesn't feel tacked on, and villains would have been nice. Evil for the sake of evil, ya know... More varied and lasting townsfolk NPCs, and control of Tamryn would have tipped this game into a goat. It's still great and one of those hidden gems, but I think about what could have been. What a fun game! 

Reputation proceeds it.

Lotta stinkers lately...

Way back in the before times, when the world made sense, life was good, and the biggest political scandal was two bags of sentient grapes upset they didn't receive oral sex, I once rented a video game. That's how long ago this was... That game had a neat title and gave off a dark aura in the screenshots. It looked like a grittier FFVII. It was something that called to my preteen edginess. I got it and thoroughly enjoyed it. I ended up getting the flu during those five days, but I remember really wanting to play it while I was dying. Despite that, I couldn't beat it and never rented it again. Ten years later, before college, I remembered it existed and tried again. I overwhelmed myself with emulatable games, so I moved on to something else. Fifteen more years later, and I'm giving it a third go. I'm also tapping out. 

Shadow Madness sucks. 

The worst part of the game is the graphics. It came out two years after FF VII, and it's an imitation of that style. And it's a terrible homage to that! Characters are even uglier, room transitions are just wherever with zero indication of their existence, interactable stuff blends in with the dull pre rendered backgrounds, and even the CGI is outdated. FF VII was stunning. Legend of Dragoon was released the same year, and its CGI was rad. I didn't like Grandia, but its graphics were charming. Shadow Madness was trying for dark and gritty, and, in a way, it hit it. But then again, so does a closing grave. Valkyrie Profile hit the brooding atmosphere. Parasite Eve nailed it. Even Vandal Heatts II looks better than this. And the spell animations... But at least there are plenty of models. 5/10

The story is one dimensional. Evil guy is evil because he's evil. Perhaps there's a twist somewhere, but I didn't see one when I spoiled the final boss. Even the characters are flat. They want revenge and have no plans for the next phase in their life. They barely even have a background. Again, there is no change in any of them. At least as far as I played. Harv-V might have something going on, but there are only hints. And the pacing is terrible. The writers had a field day and wrote so much for the game. They made the world and its history massive. And the characters, no matter how unimportant, love to yap. It gets jarring after a few hours. I can't care anymore. 4/10

The gameplay is straight from 1989. Physical characters can only attack with nothing special about them. Magic characters have too many spells, and I don't know what they do. They're also expensive. Besides that, the basics are turn based and a combination of Grandia, Chrono Cross, and Super Mario RPG. Battles play out on a field where you'll need to move close to melee them. It's akin to CC because there are three attack types: weak, normal, and aggressive. No matter what you choose, though, you're gonna miss at a fifty percent chance rate. Super Mario RPG is referenced because melee attacks can have their damage doubled with a properly timed button press. I played on easy, and all the battles were just long and monotonous. There is a way to avoid random battles, but it didn't work for me. I was also told you could do a "twitch attack," but that, too, didn't work, or I didn't understand it. Either way, I'm bored... And that's all you can do in Shadow Madness. Besides all the fetch quests... 5/10

The soundtrack is strange. It's half ambient sounds and half John Williams orchestral score. However, it's eight CDs long... Every area, almost no matter how small, has its own theme. Nothing lasts long enough to get stuck in your brain. Turns out there is such a thing as too much variety. It's all pretty good, though. 7/10

The game is too long, lacks side quests, important NPCs, and exploring is tedious because the battles suck. The world building and history are massive, though, and the writing has its moments. Seeing as Working Designs worked on the game, it falls apart from time to time, though. Pop culture references are plentiful, but at least it's funny. 4/10

The encounter dodge bugged out on me. -2

The accuracy of all attacks slows the game down, and SM has one of the worst item inventory limits I've ever played. -4

In total, kid me was stupid. Why did he like a game that got 19 out of 50 points? 

I thought it was fun at first, and I wanted to keep playing. But the party was split up for too long, and one side is a fetch quest nesting doll. I think I'm about eighty percent through Shadow Madness, but I hate this and want to do something more rewarding with my already miserable life. I can't believe they ported this to Steam two years ago...

Beep beep beep beep beep

Zelda II sucks ass. 

Zelda II: The Adventure of Link is an occasionally maligned experience. At the time, many players didn't like the shift from the top down gameplay of Zelda 1 to the side scrolling platformer with RPG elements of Zelda II. Although none of those critiques are mentioned in Wikipedia's notes, so maybe this isn't as widespread a belief as I've been told. Nowadays, though, people who've played Z2 think it's great! As you'd expect from my opening line, I'm a part of the contrarian crowd. 

Most of my displeasure stems from the difficulty. Zelda 1 was hard, but it felt fair. Zelda II is nonsense, and that nonsense comes in many forms. Way too many mobs or projectiles on screen, several types of armored enemies with tiny hit boxes, and a respawn point on the otherside of the world all drag down this game. And don't get me started on the rarity of magic potions and the total lack of health pick ups. 

And that difficulty creates tedium. Whenever you die, you return to Hyrule Castle, which is nowhere near the final dungeon. This means you need to travel two continents, avoid multiple bridges with difficult crossings, get pelted with rocks three times, dodge the game's random battles, and pass four cave systems that aren't fun. This is misery. 

And it's not worth it. Link, the bosses, and the story are just as barebones as before. Zelda is asleep, Link has to save her, and how he did that makes no sense. 

And I'm bummed this sucks because the basics are amazing. The world is massive and filled with as many upgrades, secrets, and things to find as before. The combat involves timing, which can be a double edged sword. Link has to wind up his attack, so there's a skill issue here. If you time it wrong, though, you've just hurled yourself into yet another stalfos. Jumping is also an adventure, mostly involving upward attempts. Dungeons are worse, though. Outside of bosses, there are zero differences between them. But the addition of magic, regardless of how situational it is, and up/down stabs creates growth and entertainment!

Music is better, at least. There are a lot more songs that fit more moods, and I enjoyed them all. My favorite song was actually an action one, so that's rad. 

I have mixed feelings on the graphics. In some ways, it's an upgrade, most notably in the form of animations. Link has three frames of attack animations, but several mobs do too. And this creates a fun little duel. One that happens far too often, mind you. If you're bad at this game, then you'll end up button mashing for two minutes, though. 

All the negative issues nag at the charm of it all. The world is less cool, NPCs aren't as consistent, and I hate exploration. And these are the points I am giving the game. 

Between all that, the confusing "inn" mechanic, the frustrating enemy AI, and getting swindled in the final dungeon, the classic that is Zelda II: Adventure of Link gets 14 out of 50 points. I got to the final dungeon and used the wrong spell at the wrong time. I had no way of farming for more magic, so the only thing I could do was jump into the lava. I was out of extra guys, so I respawned back at the start. I crashed out, and I hate this game. I was hoping to enjoy the game because there's a fan remake that fixes a few of my problems and adds more neat things. I wanted to play that one day, but the core gameplay drove me mad. Zelda II is one of the worst games I've ever played. 

There are a lot of staples of the franchise that originate from this game, but I see why Nintendo doesn't talk about this one. 

Where it began

In an age ruled by a tyrant, in a dimension that runs parallel to two others, lies a dying kingdom, doing all it can to survive while planning to defeat the tyrant. One day, the tyrant invaded that kingdom, kidnapping the princess. Before she was taken away, the princess broke up and hid a power that could defeat the tyrant. Her friend sets off to get her back, restore the power she hid, and defeat the evil. Despite being his adventure, this story was named after the princess. Historians would call it The Legend of Zelda. 

After playing a bunch of mediocre RPGs, I need a break. And what better way to do something different than to play something from 1986? It's a different genre, even more historical, and the beginning of one of the greatest franchises in the industry. I've played five other Zelda games, beating three of them, but I've yet to try to tackle the original. LoZ is as iconic as it gets, but does it deserve it? 

Yes, obviously. 

The plot is straight out of 1986. Zelda was released on the NES Disk System, but America got it on the regular NES. I don't know if there's a difference, but the story is a short few paragraphs at the start, and a few even shorter words at the end. It's par the course for the time, assuming there even was a plot to begin with. It's that old. This is also before anything iconic could be garnished onto Link or Ganon just by existing. It's sad. Legend of Zelda is just one of those games that tests the limits of my review rubric. 5/10

The gameplay, though, has to be pushing the limits of the system. What would become staples are all here. Bow and arrows, magic rods, multiple armors, and even multiple swords. Although no Master Sword yet... Hidden secrets, optional upgrades, and getting lost in difficult dungeons are plentiful. There are no themed dungeons, mind you, just pallets swapped tile sets in the shape of an animal. 9/10

I'm sorta disappointed with the OST. Mostly because there are only five songs, and you'll only hear three of them during actual gameplay. But, hey, guess what's here. The overworld theme! 8/10

The biggest thing I'll say about the artwork is that it doesn't get lost in itself. I never lost track of what was shooting me, outside of when the devs wanted that. There were a few rooms where there was so much nonsense that it all became vague blobs, but that was the goal. And it happens in games to this day. The rest of the graphics are from 1986, so you're gonna get what you're gonna get. 8/10

Even at the start of the franchise, Takashi Tezuka and Shigeru Miyamoto had something cooking. The world is rad, exploration is the goal, and there's a ton of cute stuff hidden with them. I might want to replay this one day for the fun of it, and it's the perfect length. The only negative thing is that it was 1986, and prominent NPCs were optional. 9/10

I started getting frustrated at the very end of the game, but I won't hold that against the game. So The Legend of Zelda for the original Famicom receives 39 out of 50 points. Many of the negative points are just based on how things age. Story wasn't the draw during the time of the dinosaurs, and there's only so much that can be done with the technology back then. If you want to remove the story section, then LoZ is an 85%. And even most of those missing points are subjective. I am glad I circled back to this for the sake of history, for the sake of the experience, and because it's a good game. 

Fun fact, this is now the oldest game I've played the "original" way. 

Why does this exist?

This game did not need to be made. 

Final Fantasy Mystic Quest got mixed reviews upon release. Retrospective "reviews," mostly from randos on Reddit, though, remember it fondly. This is common in the realm of niche RPGs, so that's not newsworthy. Square marketed it as "a simplified role-playing game... designed for the entry-level player." So it's babies' first RPG, set in a Final Fantasy world, developed by Square, beloved by fans, and I finally played it after 100 games in the genre under my belt. And I agree with the reviewers. 

Mystic Quest was released in 1992. Final Fantasy IV came out a year before this, even in the North American market. A game designed to be a gateway drug to the genre was released after a game that already filled that role. I love FFIV, but it's linear as all get out. And it's better! I'll ask again: why does Final Fantasy Mystic Quest exist! 

The plot is the most tertiary thing I've ever experienced. The world is being corrupted, and some random dude has to save it because of some ancient, unexplained prophecy. He just so happens to come across all the relevant mcguffin locations and saves the world. Who is Benjamin? Or the friends he made who were eager to join him? I dunno, but they didn't suck too bad. Unlike the bosses. It's rare I have to reward a 0 in boss points, but here we are. Apparently, the story is quasi time travel? 3/10

A beginner friendly RPG is as boring as you'd expect to play. Gear is automatically equipped, Magic is overpowered, and recovery items are cheap and plentiful. You get money, but you don't need it. If you lose a battle, you can retry at full health, and the game tells you (after the fact) if an enemy is strong or weak to an elemental magic. You can also have your second character in auto mode and let the well designed AI control them. Magic is categorized into three categories, each with its own spell charges. Experience is also not pointless. It takes so long to level up that battles, especially late game, feel like a waste. Generally speaking, explore the dungeons and fight everything once, and you'll be overpowered at the end. I had my fast forward button down most of the game, as it's just so dull. Even exploring the world is bad. It's straight lines, more akin to Mario World 5/10

The sound is the most conventional thing about the game. It sounds good enough, fits the action and downtime vibes, and is just pretty good. All the towns use the same melody, and there are no sad songs, so the variety isn't here. It also keeps them from being memorable. 7/10

The graphics make me think this is a budget title. Square's weird Hail Mary probably was... It's better than Secret of the Stars, but FFIV looked better. There are so few mobs, but so many pallet swaps, too. 6/10

The charm is fittingly mediocre. NPCs are fun, but there are no side quests, exploration is the name of the game, and the writing, while simple, has its cute moments. The standout is the world. It's small, focused around a tower, but saving each village looks rewarding. Making elderly people in a grey wasteland young and vibrant again was neat. As for game length, it's so boring that I wish it ended sooner. 6/10

Throw them into a barrel, Yahtzee them out, and we get a game I'll never yearn to play again. 27/50

Final Fantasy Mystic Quest is overly simple. I know Japanese video game companies thought Americans were stupid, but this really shows how dumb they thought we were. 

This was also the last game in my NA released SNES quest. I'll talk about them as a whole later...

It's not THAT bad.

Still kinda sucks, though. 

If you scrounge through YouTube and look at all the vintage JRPG tubers, you'll find an excessive amount of "Best on the SNES" videos. No video has this game on those lists. In fact, it's widely regarded as trash; one of the worst in the genre. I'm, obviously, talking about the confusingly named Tecmo Secret of the Stars. 

The general consensus about Secret of the Stars involves critiquing the graphics, but they leave out some details. Firstly, yes, the overworld is hideous. Towns and dungeons aren't much better. However, battle graphics are stunning...mostly. Character models appear when they attack, and they look detailed and good. But enemy sprites fit in with any Final Fantasy on the system. Spell animations aren't as good, but they look distinct from one another and evolve, so that's fine. SotS was released in 1993, and the rest of the game looks great, so it's baffling why so much of it looks like NES RTX. I'll give that experience a 6, which means I like it more than most. 

On the flip side, I didn't enjoy the story. For starters, there's not much here. Many of the professional reviewers did like it, but maybe it's been the thirty years between then and now. It was more NES style exposition. Ray, you, randomly learn one day that you're related to a hero from the past, a fact everyone knows, and then your home is destroyed, sending you on a journey. Ray has to find four other heroic offspring heros to stop Homnicruze from destroying the world. Who's Tom Cruze? No clue? Who are the others? Also, no idea. Fortunately, they all know they're supposed to join you, so just walk around the linear world until you reach them. It's also a time travel nonsense... I can't see the appeal in these barebones. 0/10. 

The gameplay is actually fairly decent. All five characters bring something different to the group. Each has a different element magic, but I don't think enemies have elemental weaknesses... They all possess different buffs and debuffs, too. It's stupidly simple, but I found it fun, and I wanted to keep playing. And that's despite the story. I couldn't find any of the Combination Skills, though. My favorite parts were outside the dungeons. Not everything is advanced through caves. Sometimes you need to go on a scavenger hunt in town, and you'll run into zero enemies. Other times, you'll need to talk to a specific NPC. This is usually obvious, so it's a quick Fly By. This helps maintain the pacing and hides the monotony. More importantly, there's a B-plot of building your own town. I'm a sucker for that. 8/10. 

The sound is fine. Everything fits, but it, like the graphics, comes off a little NES premium quality. 7/10

The charm is, shockingly, mostly here. It runs the perfect length, but I'll never replay it. The world and NPCs are constantly changing, in large part due to building your own town. It's a bit shallow in those categories otherwise, but I can not stress enough how rad I think town building is. Exploration is also fun, due in part to another mechanic I haven't brought up. You see, there are actually two parties you can control. The five Aquatallions and five (out of eleven) Kustera. There are certain areas where the main five can't reach, but your allies can. It's never explained why, mind you. Sadly, it's not easy transferring items, and keeping the Kustera leveled and equipped is tedious and monotonous. But the devs knew this and made escaping battles a 95% success rate. Still, all the weird NES+ stuffs and clunkiness makes this hard to recommend. 8/10

As you may expect, there's a negative. Who wrote this? Maybe it's the terrible translation, but the way everything is written makes it seem like a grade schooler wrote this. The dying words of the final boss are a prime example. "Awe. Darn..." Maybe next time, with enthusiasm?

So the final score for (Tecmo) Secret of the Stars is 30 out of 50. I like the game more than the average reviewer by quite a lot, it turns out. But I can understand why the game is so detested, even if I don't think SotS deserves it. I'm not saying it's a hidden gem. I'm just saying it isn't that bad. It only kinda sucks! It's the worst D- game I've ever played, but it's still a D- 

Got one more true turn based game to go...

No paladins, no fun!

I have saved the worst for the end, haven't I? 

So... Paladin's Quest. I'm about halfway through the game, and I am overwhelmed with boredom. The gameplay is repetitive, the story is tertiary early '90s fluff, and the characterization is nonexistent. I've seen enough. I'm done.

Which is unfortunate because there are some interesting things here. The presentation is unlike any other. The buildings look like if late stage Earthbound had a fever dream. They're wildly unique, and I want to see if there's more stuff out there. The music has also been pretty rad. Nothing's jumped out at me, but it's been solid so far. The battle system is something worth experiencing. 

The idea that casting spells requires HP instead of MP is novel. It can kill you to cast that fire spell, so you have to balance your needs against what the opponent might do and the current situation. There are no healing spells to go alongside that mechanic, but there are healing bottles to fill that role. They can be refilled at seemingly random NPCs... It makes every battle feel like a high tense situation. The problem with that is that it makes every battle feel high tense. Mobs have plenty of HP, are in high quantity, and appear frequently! Running into six to eight enemies that take three or more turns to wipe out is far from uncommon. Random world map battles don't need to feel this tough. Dungeons are quick, and towns are plentiful, so the rest of the gameplay feels like it's at breakneck speed, while the battles slow you down. It got to the point where I realized the bosses are easier than the fodder. It's a game of attrition elsewhere, while the few bosses are simply "don't die." It's backwards RPG mechanics. Whether that's a cool thing or not is up to you. 

I'm also not high on the mercenaries. There are only two main characters in Paladin's Quest, but the party can be up to four. You fill out the other two by hiring mercenaries. Most of them are unique, but none of them have personalities or a reason to hunt the bad guys. There are so many that most guides suggest switching (most of) them out as soon as you find a new one. I like getting attached to my companions, but there's always a stronger paid friend in the next town. 

Besides that, the story is pointless. You being a cause of the destruction of the world is a new one, but the rest of the game is Dragon Quest "monster of the day" style, and that type of questing doesn't work for me. All the typical '90s nonsense is here. The years between now and then are unreasonable, you're related to a god, and none of that matters. It is what it is. And what is there is difficult to follow because the devs/translators choose a random string of letters as names. It's like the Diehard episode of Rick and Morty, when Roy's daughter/Morty's understanding of Judaism is gibberish. The brain kinda shuts off at some point in Lennus.

And none of it is vibing enough with me to want to keep playing. It's tedious, and I'm not rewarded so far. Maybe it'll get better, but that's for you to find out. I know my next game in my USaga has a negative reputation, so I want to get this misery out of the way. In my estimation, Paladin's Quest, AKA Lennus, gets 21 points out of 50. I can see this being a cult classic, but I'm joining this one. 

End of the trilogy

Fortunately, it's on a high note. 

Donkey Kong Country 1 was... ya know. DKC2 was not great. The need to be different to mess up a formula ruined the fun. But Dixie Kong's Double Trouble found the middle ground, and it was fantastic! 

That being said, the characters are still generic. This isn't an RPG, so I'm the only one who cares. 6/10. 

It feels like I'm playing OG DKC but differently. Levels feel nostalgic, while still feeling new and refreshing. But it didn't forget what Kong Quest tried. Many levels still feel nonlinear, rise, or open, but you still feel like you're going the right way. The bonus rooms are more fun (albeit too long), and the collectathon aspect of the game feels rewarding. I don't know why I want DK coins, but at least finding them is easy. And even a fun and/or easy puzzle. But I do know why I needed the Bear Coins. It wasn't for the sake of it. And I felt overly rewarded for finding all the banana birds and their Simon Says mini game. Heck, even the barter system was neat! Could they have done more callbacks? Yes! Quick and simple bonus rooms, bouncy tires, minecarts - all would have been rad! Should they have? Absolutely! With such a wide range of stuff, why limit yourselves? Especially in mob variety... Upon further review, I take that back. Kiddie's team up move is used to its full potential once the entire game. And it's the first level. You don't get to break floors past then. Why even create it? Fortunately, there's a lot of other stuff going on. 9/10

The soundtrack is back to being cool, which is interesting because David Wise didn't record for this game. DKC3's OST doesn't get much love from various SNES mixtapes on YouTube (not that I'm keeping track). There is no Aquatic Ambiance or Stickerbrush here, but there are several tracks that I'd like to hear more. They could fit right in with the banger after banger that was DKC1, or improve 2. 10/10

I mentioned this with enemy variety earlier, but I feel like we only see seven mobs. Every level is filled with bees! So many bees... And there are virtually no unique mobs, but at least very few are pallet swaps. Which is weird because the first game's fake credits lasted so long because of all the mobs. Of all the things to get worse, why mon variety? There are so many to call back to. In Diddy's game, I can understand because both characters are light. But Dixie brings her Donkey Kong Jr. Jr. Jr. cousin, Kiddie, with her. He's big and can squash things, so bring back the Klumps!  Otherwise, it looks like Donkey Kong! I called it the best graphics on the SNES, and I'm sticking to it. More importantly, I didn't get a headache the last four days! 8/10

The most obvious change is the nonlinear world. This changes nothing, but I like the idea anyway! And the barter system sometimes makes previous sub worlds remain relevant. That also makes the NPCs feel more essential than ever, and the two most vital ones change as the world does. It's super rad! I started getting bored with the game just before I beat Rool, so you can't get any more of a perfect game length than this. Not sure if I'll ever replay this one, though... 9/10. 

Not enough was changed, though. I found several of the bosses to be confusing messes, more frustrating than anything. I let out a sigh of relief that I was done, and not because it was fun, too many times. The final boss, especially. -2 

All that adds up to Donkey Kong Country 3: Dixie Kong's Double Trouble gets 40 out of 50 points. Unlike the previous game, which was new but annoying, DKC3 is new but refreshing. It pops nostalgia while holding its own in the franchise. All fun and no headaches, but I still wish it felt more similar. That might be a me problem, though! 

Anyway, diversion over. Back to the grind. 

Not jiving...

I'm trying to play every American JRPG for the SNES, but I've run into a problem. Robotrek isn't fun. I haven't gotten through the first dungeon yet, and I've asked myself what I'm doing too often. When I finally reached the boss, it went poorly. I did two damage per attack. That's no fun. 

I also feel like I've already seen the extent of the combat, too, which isn't exciting to me at a base level. 

There seems to be a fair bit of mechanics here around creating robots, combining items, and equipping them to those bots, but it's just not working for me. It's slow, not streamlined, and too grindy. 

I was liking the world, and I've read the story was rad, but all that other stuff already has me frustrated and bored. I don't know if Robotrek is a bad game or just not one for me, but I'm already putting it down after four hours. I'm not going to grade it in case it's a me problem. I'm just writing this update as a public declaration that I tried the game and am moving on. 

Also, the music sucks. 

I hate questionable sequels.

Donkey Kong Country is one of the most important games to me. It was the first game I ever played, after it came bundled with my Super Nintendo in 1995. Despite that gravitas, my experience with the franchise pretty much starts and stops there. I've dabbled in playing DKC2, but I've never gotten far. It always gave me a headache. But I'm dumb, so let's give it a third try! And also do a lot of comparisons to game one!

Let's start by saying Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy Kong's Quest still gave me a headache. I eventually learned I could remove sprite layer one on the levels that harm me, which went well. The lava levels, bee levels, and any others with a filter were now safe to play. They also looked better, too! Outside of those foreground elements, the game looks exactly like Donkey Kong Country 1. And I called DKC1 the peak of the 16-bit era. The sequel somehow expands that, but it also takes a few steps back with headache inducing layers, and the busy backgrounds can accidentally hide some things. I also found myself asking, "Can I land on that?" far too often. The medical ailments were the biggest deterrent to Diddy's Quest being good, so I needed to talk about the graphics first. 5/10

No one played DKC2 for the story. Donkey Kong got kidnapped offscreen, and now Diddy, aided by his girlfriend, Dixie, must save him. That's it. And that's all described in the manual. Did and Dix have the same elements as Don and Did (from a story perspective). The villains are exactly the same, even down to who the BBG is. 6/10

The gameplay loop is also the same, but it's been vastly expanded upon. Back on Kong Island, navigating through the levels was done by running, swinging on ropes, and blasting out of randomly placed, floating barrels. Everything was horizontal, as well. The walking and barrel cannons have returned, of course, but the hows have been made better. I think half the levels are now vertical, so we'll be climbing a lot. I have mixed feelings about that, but they were still well made and interesting. And even those have variety. Sometimes it's a toxic flood that causes you to climb. Other times, it's a wall somehow. You're also blown about by the wind. Sometimes these can be very frustrating as the difficulty these new levels bring can get painfully frustrating. I nearly rage quit at the penultimate level. And the bosses, especially, are troublesome. Not only are they harder, which, in and of itself, is welcome, but they never seem to die. Seven hits is too much! There are also new animal companions, and can you guess it, they're a mixed bag. The snake is fine, albeit controls terribly, but the spider is awful. He slows the game down and makes it boring. He makes his own platforms, but you have to jump to reach them, so it's sluggish platforming. And the underlying need to collect several types of coins also rubbed me the wrong way. The bonus levels in DKC1 were just that: bonus. Now, though, they're mandatory. Dixie Kong also didn't do much for me. She replaces Donkey Kong in this game but plays vastly differently. She can use her hair to float through the air like the ostrich from game one. This is underutilized, so Dixie just feels like a worse Diddy. Gameplay is, like the graphics, one step forward, two steps back. 7/10

I didn't enjoy the music nearly as much, but I still found plenty to enjoy here. Donkey Kong got banger after banger after banger. Poor Diddy, though, got only a few crumbs. We all know about Stickerbrush Symphony, but there are only a handful of other songs I found rad. They fit the mood better, though, I'll give them that. The plot is pirate themed, and the soundtrack reflects that. Regardless... 9/10

The world doesn't feel as connected this time around either. All the levels and sub worlds had a clear path around them, and the themes were usually pretty clear. Now everything feels randomly placed. There are new NPCs, and they're...not terrible. A lot tertiary, mind you. The need to explore has been added, but making it an obligation kinda kills the fun for me somehow. I finished the game in about five hours, which is actually a good time to end it. 6/10

Sadly, there are more baffling decisions... You have to pay to save? I know the coins respawn and are abundant, but saving is sacred! And you lose those coins on a fresh load! I talked about this earlier, but the bosses have too much HP. It's more drag to this experience! -6. 


I recognize that Rare tried something new with the old formula. In many ways, it worked, but they do too much. It's more complicated, but there's also a lot more new fun! Is this game good, and I'm secretly Kranky Kong, or is it actually just unenjoyable? Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Quest gets 27 points. I didn't enjoy it, but I don't know if it's bad. Probably not good, though. 

It's definitely better.

Lufia I was a mess, but I was going to play the "sequel" even if I didn't want to. I don't know where I'm going with this, so, uh... Lufia II: Rise of the Sinistrals is the pre-sequel to Lufia 1. It came out two years after, which is crazy to think about because II is much more polished than I. 

The graphics no longer look like a premium NES game. There is also more variety in enemy sprites. They get pallet swapped regularly, but what can ya do? NPC sprites could also do with some filtering to make important ones pop more. There was one point I walked right by the most important non party member just because she looked like everyone else. Village elders just look like generic geriatrics. I got lost a few too many times for weird reasons. 6/10

There is more music variety, thankfully. You still hear cave and tower tracks too often because that's all you ever explore, but at least the interim lets you forget. There are even a few songs that might get stuck in your head. 10/10

The charm is more obvious this time around. The world feels just as good, but important NPCs are more abundant and active. But they deserved better. Sadly, the game drags at the end. There are just a few too many dungeons I was mashing attack through. There are a few side stories that I think could have been circumvented. So it still feels Dragon Questy. Though I gotta ask something. Why were the maps so different between gams? 5/10

Gameplay is also superior. It still lacks depth and variety, especially since nearly all dungeons are just a cave or a tower with a different color, but they try to add something with all the puzzle aspects. These puzzles are nice, but they're usually just there for the sake of being there. They rarely mean anything to the overall vibes of the dungeon. But they're still a welcome addition. Except for the ones that are way too hard and almost require a guide... The capsule mobsters are another interesting addition. You can find seven AI party members, each with their own moves and patterns. They're kinda like the dragons in Bahamut's Lagoon. I wasn't super wowed by them, but I did bother to max two of them, so it means something. 5/10

Most importantly, the story is more fun! The twists are more enjoyable, and the turns make you feel something our dads don't want us to feel. While getting the same results, L2's characters have more depth and memorability. The villains are just the same. The overall plot, though, didn't vibe with me. Maybe because I'm a Tia man? 5/10. 

Good news! There are zero negative points! Attacks automatically advance to another target. The final boss, while weak and pathetic, didn't feel as cheap. He probably was, though... And the encounter rate is manageable. This is because there are no random encounters in dungeons, but even the world map has it perfected. Shout out to Taito for this contribution to the genre! 

At the end of the day, Lufia II: Rise of the Sinistrals garners a 32/50, which might explain this review. 

I only sorta enjoyed L2. It's a perfectly fine game, and there's nothing offensive about it. But there's also nothing I'll remember about it, outside the heart wrenching ending. Maybe I should have played this one first and hated L1 even more? It's a solid game; perfectly respectable. Maybe it's the brain dead easy difficulty or the fact that the previous game left such a bad taste in my mouth. I did want to play every night, but I did not want to write this review. So I'll finish by saying that, despite the middling score, I think Lufia II is worth playing. 

This makes me dislike Popolocrois 1...

But for all the right reasons. 

I played the fan translation of the PSX Popolocrois Monogatari a few weeks ago. I instantly fell in love and wanted more. Fortunately, it has a sequel that's also been fan translated! I booted it up twenty two (in game) hours ago, and I started to realize how bad PopoNo was. I saw these shortcomings because the sequel is so superior in most ways. 

Let's start with the story. The bad news is that it feels less open world than before. The fast travel system is gone, and you're on a linear course. You can't randomly decide to return to Pasela if you need to talk to Guilda. The good news is, this isn't a big deal. Lots of RPGs are linear, and that line makes for a more compelling story. It's all gas; no brakes, and you'll be bouncing around the nether regions of the continent too often to return anywhere anyway. Exploring this new world gives a grander sense of stakes to the overall conflict. And, my goodness, is the story ramped up. 

Poor Pietro endures so much more this time around. He deals with loss, his mistakes, and the pangs of a young heart. Narcia suffers through the unknown and the uncertain. And the other characters learn to adapt to themselves. This one seems vague, but PopoMo 2's cast doubles that of the previous game. Not everyone is made the same, but they're all welcome additions. 

And the villains are all more evil than before. They all made an instant impact to the good guys. From the moment they first appeared on screen, you knew to hate them. They forced you to despise them. You felt an urge to loathe them. They were the perfect foil to the Prince and his cohorts. Most of them, at least. They can't all be zingers. 8/10

The gameplay is slightly different than before. Gone are the (obvious) grids, replaced with a generic circle range. So think more Valkyria Chronicles than FFT. At first, I hated it, but then I learned to press square and triangle to slide and rotate. It's a sideways change. The real additions come in the new skills everyone learns, and the way they can evolve. Pietro's Wind Slash turns into a move where he flings a dragon through enemies. This can occasionally mess you up, mind you, as the level also resets on evolution. This can turn a wide AoE spell into a single target one instead. So don't take on a boss just after Narcia's Healing Rains changes. It creates a lot of fun, exciting ways to engage in battle, and it makes you want to play with other characters. Sadly, there isn't anything else to do but battle again. The devs tried to add puzzles to the game with block pushing sections, but they are limited and don't add much. 9/10

The music is much of the same. It feels like there is more variety, which is another reason why the expanded world is welcome, but if you liked the tunes in game one, you'll like them here. I know I certainly did. 10/10

The visuals are also improved. I thought the character sprites looked off in game one, but the slight changes make them fit in better now. And, along with the new skills, all of them look different, too. No longer do Pietro and Narcia's wind moves look the same. PopoMo has shed its budget title looks. They did some really cool things with Jilva. Not only that, but the anime cutscenes are more modern. I liked the retro look, but I won't complain about '90s aesthetics. 10/10

Despite all that's been changed, the charm remains. The expanded world has allowed for so many dumb d-plots. My favorite was Elvis finding his brother. There are more important NPCs, a reward for exploring, and everything is adorable (until it isn't). I want to say it's the perfect length, but I actually want more! I don't know about replayability, but let's circle back in a few years. 9/10

I could reduce points for the oppressive encounter rate, but Pietro has a spell to remove those. And I think you're supposed to use it because the game is too easy in the late game if you're killing everything. Escaping also has a 100 percent success rate (but you lose gold). 

I could knock off ten points because Gami Gami's infatuation with a fifteen-year-old girl is creepy, but he's an optional character. 

Ultimately, the presentation combines with the charm of the game to create something memorable. And the plot has so many twists, turns, shocks, and amazing moments that it becomes magic. I don't know if I've seen any other game do the things Popolocrois II has done. I wanted to cry multiple times. Pietro's new baby sister adds a weird layer to everything that works for me. I felt a range of emotions I haven't felt in a long time. Queen Sania remains a vital pillar to the game. It's a story of young love that feels correct and not artificial, and for that alone, I want to sue Sony for keeping this from me for so long. 46/50. 

There are a few things I missed that make me wonder if the game could reach 48, though. There are some optional scenes about random NPCs I couldn't find. Saving a mute, getting a band back together, and a few others. But the lack of deep guides around this game keeps them a mystery. And I didn't keep a save from before the point of no return... Sorry, Rena. But even without seeing those, Popolocrois Monogatari is one of the greatest games I've ever played. I've already slotted it in as my fourteenth favorite game. It is a must play in any form, and I can't recommend it enough. My only regret is that I've played it, and I can't go back, nor can I experience other games in the franchise. 

This got a sequel?

The bar was low in 1993. 

I've heard good things about this game's sequel, which is actually a prequel. I've actually played that one, too. Didn't like it... I have played the loosely connected side game and found that one rad. But the first entry into the franchise, well. I'll just come out and say it. 

Lufia & The Fortress of Doom sucks. 

There are eight characters worth remembering in this game. Four playable and four villainous. The four bad guys are on screen for a combined five minutes with a thirty hour gap between their first and second appearances. Two of the main cast are just there to fill combat roles and provide unfunny comedic relief. They're a net positive to the game, but they don't add depth to the overall plot. This is a game about two people and their connections to the past. Now, those two people are great, but you need more for a proper cast. And the story itself ain't great. It's mostly walking around for no apparent reason until you find the bad guy. But only after you've done the mundane nonsense of the local town or traveled to a tertiary dungeon to find the key to the important dungeon. And then an ending that, we know now, isn't true and ruins the entire journey. 3/10

Gameplay involves inputting commands, just like any other turn based RPG at the time. And then your characters perform those actions in no apparent order. It makes it hard to properly plan actions other than general offense. This becomes even difficult because your actions don't change target when the programmed target dies. Welcome back to OG Final Fantasy I! To make everything worse, there are only two types of dungeons, zero mini games, and no alternative play styles. It's a very boring game in the long haul. 3/10. 

The music is overused, and I hate it. I'm not saying it's bad; I'm just sick of it. There is minuscule variation in gameplay, music...(8/10)

...or visuals. There is a lot of sprite reuse for mobs. NPCs, towns, and dungeons. Why does the main character look like anyone with red hair? 5/10

The world is massive. It needs an in game map, but never provides one. At least there's a lot here worth experiencing if the overall experience were better. It starts to overstay its welcome, mind you. 5/10

One of the reasons for that is the random encounter rate is terrible, especially when you get the boat. Once the world opens up, you're punished for exploring with random chaff every three titles. Don't get lost, explore, or bother playing at that point. I wanted to give up so much, and I don't know why I didn't. Along with the NES FFI targeting system and the awful, terrible, annoying, confusion spamming final boss, add -6 to the above points. 

A part of me wants to reduce the points more because of a lack of a map and the negatives creating tedium. For some reason, I won't and will stick Lufia 1 with an 18/50 points. 

Imagine Dragon Quest VI but worse. That's Lufia and the Fortress of Doom. I quit playing Rise of the Sinestrals the first time I gave it a try a long time ago. The rope was already short, but after playing this mess, it got shorter. But first, I'm going back to my new love: PopoloCrois. 

The worst game of all time.

If I had readers, this might not go over well. 

Several months ago, a massive collaboration was announced between two giants of their respective media. It had been in development for several years, even predating the most recent experience of one of the two coconspirators. I had no experience with one of them, but the other was a core component of my personality, so I had to give it a try. And that was a mistake. 


I'm talking about the Final Fantasy and Magic The Gathering crossover.

So I downloaded MTG Arena in March. I played it for a few days but put it down shortly after. The way most of my opponents play made the game frustrating and unfun. But I was desperate for Final Fantasy content, and spoilers started around this time. I was curious, so I went back. Four months later, and I'm finally done with this cancer. 

The vast majority of my opponents play what veterans call Control. But I'll keep calling them conTroll. This involves instantly killing everything you try to play. Occasionally, they bother doing something different, but that's their primary action. This wouldn't be so bad if that's all they could do, but removal is ridiculously cheap. One opponent, mono black, once killed one of my creatures, cast one of their own, killed a second of mine, while simultaneously killing what they just cast, and finally played a second creature. 

Wow! I'm having fun! 

Another recent conTroll user, a blue/white, used eleven board wipes, spells that kill every creature on the board. What's the point of playing against or with that? They never had a win con, but I only won because they're stupid and can't read "indestructible." Knights of the Round, baby!

Wow! I'm having fun! 

And then there are red users who just spam Shock all day. Blues who load up on twenty counter spells while s l o w l y getting their nonsense out, spamming the same boring two cards all game. 

I'm not having fun! 

And then there are mill decks, which force you to throw your deck into the bin. 

I've been told there are two prominent decks. One is red aggro builds that pump out and up as many creatures as they can, as fast as they can. The other is black graveyard revivals. Red is at least fast and lets me pretend I played a game, so I don't mind them, but the revivals make me realize how pointless this game is. I killed that big, scary guy and can now do something! Oh, wait, it's back and even stronger... Or it's a 9/9 god on turn three...

And there are so many people who play this game who read at a first grade level. I'm proud that they're trying, but they slow the game down so much that I can't play even if they let me. 

At the end of the day, it's not the zero story in Arena. It isn't the unimportance of the music. It isn't even the bugs that make me want to stop, although that was the final straw for me. No, it's just the fact this game isn't fun. It isn't designed to be fun. There are so many cards that ruin the experience. Laughing Jester Flint and other heist decks that steal your deck. Discard decks that combine insta kill and mill. Unstoppable Slasher, a creature with deathtouch, borderline immortality, and halves your HP if they reach you. Cards that explicitly say "you cannot lose the game, and your opponent cannot win," some of which are impossible to remove. The combination of Nine Lives and Solemnity makes a player immortal. Chandra land destruction nonsense. And those aren't even the meta decks. 

And this doesn't even include stuff like flooding out, getting creature screwed, or terrible initial hands - multiple times. I should expect stuff like that from an RNG based deck building game. 

And even without those above mentions, decks without those are still boring. Most of my wins or losses are snowballed from turn four or five. Unless I'm against a surprise Troll deck, I usually know if I've won at turn five. I also usually know when I've lost by then, too. Rarely are games competitive, adding to the tedium and boredom. 

In short, there is no story (0)
It's addicting for terrible people, but at least MTG can claim to be the first of its kind (3)
The sound is not important (4). 
The art is plentiful (7). 
The charm is soul sucking (0). 

It's the tedium of sludging through the same decks. Suffering through so much downtime with terrible mulligan rules and ropers. Battling through the bugs like connection issues and download issues, as well as the ever increasing load times. Terrible GUI instances keep popping up as well. And the fact is, if you're not using the twelve or so meta cards, you're gonna have a rougher time. Casual nonsense drags you down.

All that makes Magic the Gathering: Arena a -5/50. That's right, a negative final. I didn't think it was possible, but 4000 games of this made me realize that the general belief about Magic players might be on point. Go take a shower and get a better diet. Especially if you play mono black. I was two cards away from finishing the Final Fantasy set, but a download bug shut me down. I'm a bit bummed, but I'm not upset. 

The most adorable JRPG?

I'm in my "play Americanish" mode right now, but my age of constant hipster is eternal. The need to keep the two in balance means I must play some Japan only games. And a desire from last year to broaden my horizons with new franchises also needed to be met. Thus, I scoured and searched, dug deep and looked high, and found something perfect! While the game was ported and translated into English in 2006, I'll be playing the original, fan translated version of Popolocrois Monogatari. 

PopoMo is based off a manga from the late 1970s. I think it was turned into an anime shortly after in the 80s, but I have a hunch none of the three got a big foothold in America. I've only heard of them recently. It's a brand new thing to me, but I wasn't hyped to play it. The graphics looked weird, the characters are cutesy, while the music is hard to find. What's the chance this niche thing is worth it? But I jumped into the PlayStation One version because it has more story, and well...

It was amazing! 

The story starts off as an adorable adventure about reclaiming a crown from an over-the-top villain named GamiGami. He's a Saturday morning cartoon villain, which you notice early on, as no one in his opening attack dies. But Prince Pietro, the ten-year-old heir, goes off to reclaim the crown! He's accidentally attacked by a forest witch who's nonplussed with his presence. But her little sister, Narcia, feels guilty and joins him on his mission. They're quickly joined by another goofball named White Knight. He's a white knight who speaks with a Middle English accent. WK is a true defender of justice and quickly becomes a true friend of the kids. 

They arrive at GamiGami City, home to clunky robots imitating human society in every way. It's humorous, and I want to watch the anime. The three ascend GG's castle and reclaim the crown, but only after he's blown himself up, escaping the three. Pietro, Narcia, and White Knight go their separate ways, with the prince returning home to restore peace in Popolocrois! That was book one, and it was a comedic prologue to the game. It fit the graphics and gameplay, but belies what's to come. It also was omitted from the PSP remaster, so that port sucks. 

The next books get a lot heavier. The childlike nature of the game becomes something deep and emotional. You see, before the start of the game, Popolocrois was attacked by the Ice Demon, who nearly conquered the kingdom. If not for the Queen, Sania, who single handedly defeated Ice Demon by becoming a dragon, he would have. But that battle put a curse on Sania. She's been sleeping ever since. Prince Pietro then goes on a journey to save his mother. The story becomes one of life and death, family, and the tale of a young boy doing all he can to see his mother. I struggled holding back tears at the end. 

And all the while, you play a baby version of Final Fantasy Tactics. It's more akin to Treasure Hunter G, if you remember that one, but FFT is more well known. Battles play out on the field, with potential for all the obstacles to impede both parties. And it's fast paced, so there's plenty of action. The battle plays out on a grid, with characters moving around it as best they can. Each character has their role and unique spells and skills, so everyone fills a role and feels important. Normal battles can feel easy, but it's sometimes the attrition that gets to you. And then there are bosses, and they can get difficult. But only one felt cheap, so you just needed to find the right groove of battle to eke out a win. It all felt rewarding. A tad repetitive towards the end, but fun enough! 

The music also fits into the Saturday morning kids' cartoon vibes. There are a lot of weird keyboard sounds I can't fully understand, but they're peppy and upbeat. But there are a few standouts within. When the game needs to get deep and heavy, you can expect to get sad. My favorite song in the game nearly sat me down. 

The graphics are, well... Fitting! Remember, the game is based off a 70s manga. When you keep that in mind, the visuals are actually neat. They emulate the look of the vintage media, and start to grow on you pretty quickly. It's colorful and green, and a part of me thinks there isn't much variance in the world, but the late game switches it up enough. Although skill and magic animations are reused. Every wind spell shares the same look, as do all lightning skills. 

The world is also a fitting continuum to the game's sense. All the random NPCs feel, mostly, alive, and adorable. My only issue with the charm is the lack of replayability. But that's probably the least important thing about a game, and the most subjective. 

I absolutely loved Popolocrois Monogatari. I almost blew this off because I thought it looked weird and didn't vibe with what I saw. But it ticked all the boxes I was looking for, and I'm thrilled I did. It's not perfect in terms of plot and cast, but there's a sequel (or two!) that could "fix that. The epilogue set up enough. I'm definitely playing that one. But, on its own, Popolocrois Monogatari gets a surprising 45 points out of 50. If you're looking for a cute but interesting game with some neat mechanics, then PopoMo is the perfect experience. Can't wait to play the sequel. Thank you, Stardust Crusaders, aishsha, and paul_met. 

Which I think is translated...
Update: it is. Maybe after Lufia?

It's not the 7th Saga...

It's Elnard!!!

The 7th Saga is another game my childhood neighbor owned. It's infamous for being an incredibly difficult game, requiring constant grinding. And even then, you're at a disadvantage because your stats don't grow with other NPCs. Some people are into that, but ten-year-old me was not. It was painful and tedious, and I never got far. I think the fourth city? I was a bad friend one day and lent the game (which I didn't own) to another friend just as he went on vacation. He got a bit further and actually managed to find one of the seven runes needed to beat the game. But that was the last time I ever traded games... 

But, anyway, there was always something alluring about 7th Saga. The music, the unique characters, and the crystal ball/world map radar all intrigued me. But it was too hard, so I never bothered much. 

And then I did some research and found the game was vastly different in Japan. The game was called Elnard and was much easier. Your stats grew at a similar rate to your peers, which, shockingly, leveled the playing field. And since you gained double the stats, even the common chaff was manageable. It was still a game of attrition, but it felt rewarding to reach new cities instead of punishment for some long commited sin. And thanks to the glory of the internet and modding, at least one intrepid fan "fixed" what Produce! "broke" and reset the stat growth. While it looks like I played the 7th Saga, I was actually playing Elnard. So the new question is, "Is Elnard worth playing in 2025?"

Let's start with the cool! 

Characters. There are seven in total, and all of them are vastly different. Some are fast, others are strong, some tank, or do magic better than others. Everyone has a little bit of magic, but not everyone should. Each playthrough is different. Unique gear and spells also differentiate, and that's before you reach the split path after the third rune. A few even have dungeons only they can do. I kinda want to replay as the alien or demon and see if the world is different. I know there are a few interactions in hometowns, and I'm curious how meaningful these actually are. Sadly, no one's personalities show through during gameplay. But they do as rivals, so there's another way to make every playthrough, even with the same character, feel different.

The rival, or not, system was a big deal back in 1993. You can pick a friend, if any, and see if the others want to kill you. Some even actively want to be your friend. I played as Lux and traveled with Esuna, the black mage elf, for most of that game. But Olvan, the dwarf tank, had a rune and wanted to join me. I could have attacked him, but Esuna wasn't holding up in battle, so we parted ways. All the while, Wilme, the alien, hated me, and the human cleric tried to kill me. And the other two were constant signposts on my travels. It all makes the world feel alive, refreshing, and replayable. 

The music is perfect. Bringing up the main menu instantly teleported me back to a happy time with those chimes that give off medieval whimsy. The overworld themes, plural, reflect the feeling of danger, obligation, and wanderlust. Village themes are peaceful, and battle songs add action to a traditional turn based game. I don't know if the entire OST belongs on the Rushmore talk of SNES soundtracks, but it should be nearby. 

The crystal hall is a rad way to explore the world. There are no maps, but you can see towns and treasures on the ball, which acts like a radar. Enemies also appear there, giving you a slight ability to foresee a battle and try to avoid it. The encounters aren't random, but they can feel like it. 

But some things are kinda less great. 

The basic gameplay is lackluster. 7th Saga has the basics down, but it doesn't build much. Magic runs out pretty quickly, so most of the game will be spamming the attack command. Dungeons are also just there. No gimmicks or puzzles at all. The lack of variety gets tedious, especially with the need to grind. It's made better in Elnard, but you still need to seek out battles.

The graphics could have been done better. Sprites look amazing and detailed, but towns, outside of layout, all look the same. This applies to dungeons the most. All dungeons come in two forms: castles or caves. And even the world map isn't immune. Ticondera seems to be a desert planet, as everything is beige. It's a shame because this planet is huge, probably the biggest in the genre, but it all looks the same. Sand and mountains... There are ugly splotches of green scattered here or there, but they don't mean anything. This is probably the weirdest dropped ball. 

And now for the bad stuff. 

The plot. Beware, spoilers ahead, because 7th Saga does not nail the landing. 

I've said before, characters, in playable form, don't have personality. At the start, though, each has a reason for being on this journey. But that isn't explored at all. Huge miss. And the overall story leaves me asking so many questions. For starters, it's a time loop story. Those never end well, and this loop doesn't have an incursion. The gist is you go back in time 5000 years to stop the evil guy plaguing the current timeline. We succeed, but are killed and reincarnated by god as King Lemele, the guy who kicked off our journey. So we're our own boss. That's not too stupid of a concept, but the cast variety muddles it further. King Lemele, a human male, could have been an elf female? Or an alien? Or a robot... A soulless automaton can be reincarnated into human form? Another problem is that the guy we killed in the past killed us five years before the game started and took his place, thus restarting his downfall. I'm gonna move on now...


So that sucked! It's the most important part of the game, and it really drags the whole shebang down with it to me. Maybe if you're not into story and only want gameplay, you won't mind. But I do. 

---

Plot: 2-2-1. I put the raw numbers here because the 7th Saga has a unique combination. The characters are great. The villains are memorable. But that story, man. Goodness... 5/10

Gameplay: repetitive. The lack of dungeon variety is the second most unredeemable quality of it all. 5/10

Sound: amazing. Everything I want is here, and it makes me wish this game matched the soundtrack. 10/10

Art: another dropped ball. Everything is just so similar. Enemy variety is decent, though. 6/19

Charm: why I liked the game. The world feels fun with the changing rivals. I felt rewarded when I went out of my way to open chests. The fact that I'm thinking about doing another run now has to carry some weight. But it does last just a tad too long. 7/10

I played Elnard, and not the 7th Saga. But, even then, there was still plenty of need to grind. The main criticism against the game never went away. But it is a lot fairer. Despite the score being lower than I'd wish, I'd still suggest playing this old classic. I had fun. I might continue to have fun. 7th Saga, Elbard edition, gets a score of 33 out of 50. 

God Bless the ...dungeon?

Ya ever hear of the neigh impossible to pronounce, let alone spell, Ehrgeiz: God Bless the Ring? If not, it's a 3D fighting game developed by Squaresoft around 1997. Its primary claim to fame is that it stars Cloud, Tifa, and Sephiroth from Final Fantasy VII as starting characters, with Yuffie and Vincent as unlockables. I'm no fighting expert, but the game is kinda mid. It's very fast, though, I'll give it that. You can also wield a unique weapon for everyone, and it being an early 3D game might make it worth checking in on for those who consider themselves the fighting game equivalent of myself. 

But...

That's not all it has! 

There's also an RPG dungeon crawler. I remember getting confused with this side game when I rented Ehegriz back in the late 90's. But the fact I remember it all from my one rental means something right? Considering I've confused it for another game... no. 

Endless Dungeon is a barebones hack and slash dungeon crawler. There is a concept of a story and several shockingly thought out mechanics, though. Most of them are annoying, but that's for later. 

The story involves an archaeologist, Kenji, and his student, Claire, discovering an old ruin in Germany that might hold the key to immortality. The two go to the pyramid and explore, but then suddenly pass out and wake up in another dimension. They're in a town's inn, saved by the owner. Why does a trapped village have an inn? But the owner tells us the ruins beneath the town are mysterious and magical. He also gives us the layout of the town and all its shops. There's a weapons and potions shop, diner, blacksmith, and magic shop. You buy gear, food, combine weapons, and magic stones for materia (magic). There's also a wine stock market for other reasons... The innkeeper gives us starting gear from the last idiot to wind up here, and the game begins.

We can play as either Kenji or Claire, and there are subtle differences between them, but I won't get into them here. You'll probably need to use both of them at some point, though. If one dies, you can revive them by finding their corpse with the other. Ultimately, it won't matter until floor 21. 

Reaching that floor involves walking through the same looking rooms, finding similar enemies, and collecting gear, food, and recipe books for the only side quest, which just unlocks tips. All the weapons have different animations and combos, and you're gonna need to use all of them. You see, weapon and armor degradation is a thing here. What you use will break, and often quickly. It wouldn't be so bad, but inventory space is painfully limited.

Food is also a thing. It's almost an interesting mechanic, as what you eat will alter your stats at level up, but you also need to eat to survive. There's a hunger bar, and you lose HP when it runs out. And it drains quickly. With the weapon HP and hunger, you're constantly worrying about everything. 

There are only three exits to the dungeon, so you also might be too afraid to go too far in. There are quick escapes, dragon wings, but they feel too rare. I just felt on edge too often. This isn't a game for people with anxiety. 

But there's more! Greek gods and goddesses appear in the game to bless your weapons. I don't know what they do! You can offer an item to them at an altar, but it's a crap shoot if the offering will be accepted. There are thirteen, so good luck with this. Assuming it's even worth it. 

The setting never changes op much. It's different colored rooms, though enemy variety is weirdly high for this. Music changes every few rooms, and the soundtrack is probably the best part about the game. 

But, surely, there's plot down here! Nope. Twenty one floors of tedium with no story to break it up. The residents try to add something, but there's nothing to sink your teeth into. Until you reach the final boss, there's only dungeon crawling. There are four endings depending on who and what you do when you get there (twice), but it's not worth it. 

But, believe it not, that's not the worst part. You have to pay to save. And those prices get high fast. I struggled to afford it and had to save state more often than not. 

I'll be honest. I didn't finish Endless Dungeon. I'm bored! There's a basic framework of an interesting game here, but I don't know why Ehegis was made. A part of me misses random nonsense like this, so while I hate this game, I'm glad it exists. Still; don't play it. 

22/50 - 44%.

Son of Bate...Gainer...?

It didn't take me two months to finish Breath of Fire II!

I have a sketchy history with the Breath of Fire franchise. I tried to enjoy BoFIII twice but eventually learned to hate it. But I thought IV was a masterpiece. Meanwhile, game one felt like a slog. So, I had low hopes for II. 

And consider them smashed! 

Breath of Fire II came out late in the SNES cycle. The day before the PlayStation One, in fact. It's a quasi direct sequel, but it's 500 years after, so it's only kinda. The world looks pretty similar, but the water has conquered much of the land. Other than a handful of place names and an interesting cameo, it's not a big deal. 

As before, and in the future, you play as a blue haired boy named Ryu. Unlike before, we can meet Ryu's parents. He lives in a small, isolated village named Gate with his father, Gainer, and little sister, Yui. Gainer is a priest at the local church of St. Eva. His mother is a tad more intriguing... Yui has run off, as she often does, because she hates naps. Gainer asks his son to look for her, and Ryu finds her near a cave entrance, but who cares because that's a dragon over her! There's also a floating blue shell guy, but Papa kills it with his lightning magic. Yui often sleeps here because this white dragon is her and Ryu's mother. Gainer tells a bit of their history and confesses he wasn't strong enough to save his wife, so she has to turn into a dragon to save the village. Yui suggests Ryu take a nap here, hoping Mom will talk to him there. Ryu does fall asleep, and something speaks to him...

Ryu wakes up and returns to the village, but something is different. None of the villagers know him, and neither Gainer nor Yui are around. The priest in charge of the church is new. Hulk thinks Ryu is a lost orphan and aids the poor boy. 

That night, Ryu meets a fellow orphan named Bow, a dog boy. He's actually a thief in town to steal stuff, but there's nothing worth in Gate. Bow convinces Ryu to run off together. A storm hits, so they take shelter in a cave, but there's something else in there. They follow a snake's tail to a massive demon at the back of the cave. The demon calls Ryu the "fated child" and promptly beats him...

Ten years later, Ryu and Bow are working for the rangers, a group of mercenaries, in "HomeTown," and their first job is to find a lost pig. Bow thinks it's beneath him, but he swiftly changes his mind when he learns the poster is from a beautiful woman with wings named Mina. 

This kicks off a long story, where they learn the truth about Ryu, his mother, the dark history of Windia, and save the world from a former foe. He makes new friends; a cat girl who hates pants, a cursed Nina, a Renaissance frog man, a monkey, a giant armadillo, and a snake goddess. They also get eaten by a whale, fuse with pretty magic women, and create a new village of outcasts! 

And I loved all of this. Half of the main cast felt like fodder, but I, for the most part, liked all of them. Katt is plucky, and Jean's aloofness is fun. Sten was the only one I didn't like because he's introduced to the party from out of left field, and he's a pervert. I had trouble remembering who some of them were, though. What was the plant's name? Spar? Spar and Sten also don't bring much to combat. Bow is probably the de jure white mage (with a crossbow), while Rand is a D&D tank cleric. Nina is a black mage, which is an odd twist but fits her narrative. Not the best cast, but it works. 

Meanwhile, the villains are neat! The bloated snake demon has a big hand throughout the game, but he isn't this evil for the sake of it. He has a strange bit of honor about him. Patty, the initial primary antagonist, is vital to the story. The final boss is kinda shoehorned. Ultimately, like the playable cast, they're not the worst group I've experienced. 

Put all of that together, and it makes for an interesting story. It can start to drag for a while after Bow takes a bow and becomes a rad fetch questy, though. Especially after I spend a night wondering why we're saving this frog man. It made sense in the end, but I felt like I was playing Dragon Quest VI during Act Two. But there are a lot of shocking twists and character reveals in Act Three/Four. I was hooked and actually looked forward to playing the game. 7/10

The gameplay is very much like Breath of Fire I. Each character has a unique field skill, but I feel the in battle techs are just different enough. There are a lot of heal spells in the party, but there's more variance between character stats and roles. Katt is obviously the quick powerhouse, while Rand is the Ox of this game with more MP. Each character has their tech, but I found most of them to be bad. Why would the fragile Katt want to be hit? The lack of descriptions didn't help. What did Jean's jab do?

The real new mechanic is the shaman system. You meet several NPCs through the game that can fuse with your cast. This usually results in a massive stat boost. But, occasionally, this fusion can result in an appearance change. Spar can turn into a cute mushroom girl, Bow is a Fallout power armor, and Nina looks like a goddess. The my did my boy Rand dirty, though. A pink bug? It's a lot of fun to mess around with them and rewarding to seek them out. There are only two mandatory ones, but seven in total. It's so much better than the master system to come. 8/10

The sound fits. It's a lot better than the previous game. There are more songs, more varied tempos, and slightly fewer iterations. You still hear the cave dungeon music too much, but that's the only blight. The world map theme even changes, and I (good) struggled to find my favorite song from the OST. 9/10

The visuals are, technically, better. NPC sprites are more abundant, but there are still plenty of repeat mobs. There's also a contrast issue early on where I couldn't find a mountain pass for an hour. I'm probably making a big deal out of it, but it nearly killed the game from the start. 6/10

So Breath of Fire II has a town building mechanic! It's surprisingly deep, with an assortment of potential visuals and people to populate it with. Some are better than others, though. Regardless, it's cooler and less confusing than the fairy town in future releases. I love stuff like this, and this helps to tick all the charm boxes. There are also other reasons, but I've said enough. 9/10

Sadly, the writing is still wonky. -2. 

Add everything together, and Breath of Fire II is a great 37/50  game, but it feels like it should be higher. 

So are the even numbered BoFs game amazing while the ids numbered kinda suck. BoFII feels like it should be higher than 74%. I looked forward to playing the game every night, and I'm sad to be done with it. I have a hunch this one might be the standard for my missed SNES game series. I don't know what's next, but it's gonna be hard to top Breath of Fire II! 

Why did it take me two months to beat...

Summon Night 5?!

I don't know. To be fair, there was some other stuff going on. I tried a different game for a bit but didn't like it. I'm sure it was fine, but it wasn't for me. I also had to work. I designed an entirely new raid dungeon in Crowns of Power. Or at least the bosses, mobs, and gear. The bossmen (?) did the carpentry. There was also Madden. But...

So, here's the deal with SN5. It's...fine. It's a decent tactical RPG with turns more akin to Disgaea than FFT. That didn't keep my interest for long. I have ideas why, but I found the game to be a bit of a slog. But the battles were fast, and the game was short. I don't know why it took me this long to finish it.

Maybe it was all the visual novel aspects. Outside battles, cutscenes take place over a stagnant background, while character portraits display emotions above text. As you might expect, there's a lot of talking. And none of it is particularly deep. It's filled with all the cutesy and whimsy you'd expect from something like this.

But if you can tread through it, it might be worth it. The characters feel like actual people with backstories, interests, and connections. Even the world feels huge. Summon Night 5 plays off the same worlds as previous entries of the Summon Night franchise, so there's a lot of lore here if you're into that. I might be.

But you play as either Folth or Arca, young but experienced summoners working for the Eucross. Summoners, as you'd expect, can summon creatures to aid them in battle. The Eucross acts as a police force that deals with the otherwordly creatures. Lyndbaum, the world we play in, is a crossroads between multiple dimensions, and the Eucross acts as an arbiter of sorts. That's the best I can describe it.

But your character has a unique cross, unlike any other, especially in how they got them. That cross can be one of four people, so there's some customization and replayability if you want to experience everything. Apparently, they're all quite different. I went with Arca, so I'll be using her pronouns here for simplicity. Arca is a new member of the Eucross, a recent high school grad seeking the origin of her cross. Her first job is to escort an elite police knight named Yung-Hua. Yung-Hua is mysterious and keeps the reason why she's here close to her chest. We also meet her friends: Calis; a gung ho machinist, Souken; a refined beast tamer, and Cyka; the older sister of the group who's "cursed" by a demon. Abert, a police officer, joins them often. There are a few more along the way, some of whom are secret, but I'll save the spoilers. They chase after the Crimson Chain, a long lived group of criminals led by Atosh. There are also plenty of interesting NPCs around.

During travels, you strengthen weapons, magic stones, and even fish. It's shockingly addictive. Another reason it took me so long to finish was because I was interested in the extra battles and fishing mini game to increase my numbers. Love when numbers go up!

The tertiary aspects are fun. The music is shockingly high quality. There's also a lot of extras about concept art and other galleries.

---

Plot: fine. There's nothing to sink your teeth into here, but it's worth paying attention to. There's a lot too much "somehow they got away" going on for my tastes. 6/10

Gameplay: repetitive. That might be the crux of my disdain. Most of the cast are mages, so there are minimal differences between them, especially at the start when everyone only has single target spells. The best and more interesting physical attackers don't show up until way too late in the game. I made Arca and Spinel go strength for the sake of mixing it up. They should not have been DPS like that. But there was just enough to keep me around. 5/10

Sound: hard. SN5 feels like an old school budget game. Because of that, I didn't expect the music to be this good, let alone varied. You'll still hear the same few tracks as there are only about thirty here, but there are only fifteen chapters, so go enjoy the OST. 10/10.

Art: meh. Basic, repeated backgrounds, Quest 64 spell animations, and a font that I struggled to read. A lot of that is because I'm going blind, but I think that's another reason I didn't play this as much as I should. But that's a me problem. 7/10.

Charm: cute. It's about what I'd expect from something like this. Neat BPCs, an interesting world, a decent length, and even plenty of reasons to replay. I missed two secret characters! I can go either way on the one ending per game, though. 7/19

The only minus is the writing. I don't mind when the adorable high school girl says cute phrases, but the hardened criminal shouldn't be saying words like "murderize." -2

Add them together, and Summon Night 5 gets 33 points.

I may find this game to be "mid," but I also think it's worth a play. There's some fun to be hard with the characters and gameplay. It's far from offensive. More interesting is that I kinda want to explore more of the world. Where did some of this lore come from, and who are some of these people? That's gotta mean something.


I didn't die yet!

Mediocre Dragon's Breath(e)

A few months ago, I made a startling discovery. There were only fifteenish RPGs released on the SNES. What's odder is I've only beaten four of them. FF"II," FF" III," Chrono Trigger, and Earthbound. I've played a few more, but I'm pretty sure that means I've actually completed more Japan only RPGs than translated ones. But I consider myself a retro connoisseur, and this glaring omission makes me look like a poseur. And there's only one way to fix that.

The order I'll be playing them in is probably gonna be random. Maybe alphabetical... I probably should do it by release date, but I'm starting with a doozy.

Breath of Fire!

BoFIII was a game I dropped. BoFIV was an amazing experience. BoFI felt like one more than the other...

Let's start at the start. The game begins with a young boy named Ryu. He's asleep but shouldn't be because his house is on fire! Old Man wakes him up and escorts him to the first floor of the burning building. Apparently, this is safe? We're quickly filled in on what's going on by our sister, Sara. We're under attack by the Dark Dragon Empire, descends of the Dark Dragon. Sara and Ryu are from the White Dragon tribe, but most of the town has given up their powers. Sara is the only one who hasn't. She sacrifices herself, getting captured, which was what Zog and Jade wanted. The citizens of Drogan are now safe to live in their ruined town. Ryu, though, wants his sister back. The Old Man tasks him with saving Sara, and the plot begins!

Ryu now travels the world (the long way) searching for Sara. Along the way, he meets other party members dealing with Zog and his minions, saving their towns as well. The plot isn't revolutionary, even by the time, but it's yeoman and isn't offensive. It can get a lot fetch questy, though, which made me hate BoFIII. There are a few neat twists towards the end, but getting there can be a slog if you're not into the regional/Dragon Quest style of plot advancement. I nearly dropped it...

The interesting thing is every character has a map skill that makes them unique. Ryu can fish, and Nina can fly. Hunt, wall smash, dig, and unlock are also eventually options to help bland characters feel more real and aid in exploration. Unfortunately, those characters are still boring, and I often questioned why they're on the team. Are they also from the dragon clans?

The music is also fine. I'm a little bummed saying that since the game was developed by CAPCOM. Like the plot, it's not bad. It's just not great. Nothing stuck out with me, and it was all a tad repetitive.

What didn't help matters was how every dungeon was the same. They all fell into three categories: cave, tower, or ruins. And there's a lot of dungeons in this game. So you'll be traveling what feels like the same three areas time and time again, hearing the same three songs, performing the same battle actions.

That's another thing that bothered me about BoF. The combat was another boring bit. For the most part, use basic attacks. Magic is rare until the mid game, and I'd rather save the AP for bosses. Fortunately, there's an auto battle option, so even CAPCON knew they made a basic experience.

---

Plot: basic. The main characters feel like cardboard personalities. The enemies are on par with them. 5/10

Gameplay: repetitive. Just press auto battle until you reach the boss. Then buff up and press it. 5/10

Sound: fine, I guess. None of the songs were bad, but I got sick of hearing them. On their own, they're not terrible. 8/10.

Art: bleh. While dungeons suck, villages all look unique. It all looks nice, too. 7/10

Charm: ehh.... The world is rad. The day/night cycle, with NPCs to follow it, is a neat addition for 1993. I also like how it moved a few times. There's only one NPC to care about, and exploration is the game's coolest draw. Considering I almost dropped it, it went on too long with all the fetch quests. 5/10

Maybe the worst issue with the game is the writing. There's a lot of questionable choices from certain people. Ted Woosley and Squaresoft handled the translation for some reason, so maybe I see why Woosley isn't well liked in the community? But it's the getting lost part I hated. Quest givers didn't give good directions to their target, and I found the need to get a guide popped up far too frequently. -2

Add that together, and Breath of Fire gets a 28/50. And it felt it. I don't know why I stuck with the game. Maybe I didn't want to start a New Year's resolution on a fail? But BoF was CAPCOM's first attempt at an RPG. And it shows. BoFII is gonna have a short rope when I get around to it.