There are some games that marvel with their technical masterpiece. Others bring something new to the table. While more still just try to standout in one way or another. It works sometimes. Other times it’s a disappointing slog. And then there is the occasional experience that does all of the above while also doing nothing. Eternal Filena is one of those games.
Eien no Filena doesn’t do too much in terms of anything. But there’s something about it that gives it a unique feel. Even for the time, the graphics weren’t great. It looks like it was built off of Final Fantasy V, with how sharp and pointy the sprites are. But there are zero flashy magic animations, and no dungeons pop out at ya. Enemy sprite work looks pretty good, and there’s zero reuse there, so that’s rad!
The music doesn’t stand out as anything special either. You’ll hear one song too many times and a few others that share similar “instrumental” effects. But there’s just enough to get ya through.
There aren’t many impactful moments. What does exist takes place before you really care about the participants. There are no plot twists, but there is a WTF moment that you might just let go because it’s easier to digest. It is a fairly standard plot. But there’s something about it that lets it shine. And I think it’s in the way it tells the story.
Eternal Filena has our hero, Filena, running from the evil Devis Empire the whole game in hopes of restoring her kingdom, which she’s never even known. For the last ten years, she has been masquerading as a man, under the direction of “grandpa” Zenna, to blend in with battlers. Battlers are slaves, clechia, who kill each other for the amusement of the ruling class. The battlers are even granted “wives,” who fulfill the obvious duties. The whole thing is a human rights violation on top of human rights violations. The battles function under WWE rules in that there are storylines for melodrama. One of the writers decided that Filena gets to fight Zenna. He sacrifices himself, giving Filena a necklace that details the truth of her life. After breaking into a fancy library with a disgruntled writer named Nest, it’s revealed Filena is the princess of the Filenia Kingdom, which ruled the sea sixteen years ago. Viewing this sets off the alarm of sedition and forces Filena and Nest to flee the city. Sadly, the wife of a battler whom Filena killed attacks her home. Filena’s wife, Lila, who knows her husband is actually a woman, is fine, but our MC gets blinded. Nest and Lila guide her, along with the assailant Milika, to the sewers. Milika has also been betrayed by the empire. But the empire is now trailing them.
But there’s something in how that story is told. Usually, the evil empire our heroes are fighting knows our every movement. And the Devis do, at first. But their understanding of Filena’s situation changes over time. And as they lose all control of the situation, we gain it back. Or do we? A movement has started using Filena’s name, and they seem successful. But we never actually see them do anything, so whatever. But there’s something in that story that interests me. Escaping from a fascist dictatorship, bringing peace to a world, and reclaiming what’s yours in a novel fashion is the one thing Eternal Filena brings.
The gameplay isn’t offensive to drag that down. It’s a standard ATB affair, but you can equip three weapons, each with its own skill sets. There are seven weapons in total, but no one character gets unique move sets with a particular weapon. It’s perfectly fine, and one of the primary characters is a dog, and he can only equip one weapon, so it feels more varied than it is. It doesn’t distract. More interestingly is the random encounter rate. I think it’s truly random. You can walk three steps to get into two battles, but it can also take a full minute between fights. But you’ll get into plenty of them and never want for money or experience. Only the final boss is tough, so you’ll never feel dragged down and get to experience the story unassaulted.
But I’m sick and writing a review with a headache, sore throat, and chills, so let’s wrap this up. Eternal Filena isn’t gonna blow anyone away with anything it brings to the table. It’s just a solid experience mired in a genre with goats. Two years of delays probably didn’t help. Releasing in 1992 might have made EF stand out, but the genre passed it by in the interim. I’ve got it as the floor of a good game. Still enjoyable, but two years too late. Unless you’re into stories with lesbian romance, but there is more here than just that. 34/50.
I wish I wasn’t sick…
Wednesday, March 25, 2026
Monday, March 16, 2026
Why is E.V.O. an acronym?
A part of me misses the days when random ideas became video games. Abstract ideas could turn into strange but heartwarming memories of Christmas. Now, though, it’s all about money and how much money this game makes for shareholders. I understand it’s because the cost of game development has skyrocketed from the golden age, and one bad game can bomb a company, but those budget titles/eccentric cult classics bring something to the industry that’s dead and gone. Unless you’re Hideo Kojima… Who’s a hack.
What I’m trying to say is E.V.O. Search for Eden is a strange game.
You play some weird organism that can adapt on the fly to a number of external issues. You begin in the sea, bite other sea creatures to steal their essence, and then evolve into a stronger being. You grow throughout the five ages of prehistory, guiding evolution as you go. You, yourself, don’t actually get to say what lives and dies, but you block the bottlenecks that do. Tyrant sharks, plant devouring insects, and planet conquering birds lie in your path. You also orphan a yeti for some reason… None of these bosses seem to matter, as they’re just tools of something beyond. A rival, perhaps? Everything but you fights for the mysterious crystals that other organisms talk about. What guides you is the pretty naked lady with parallax hair, Gaia. I think that’s what parallax means? Her hair is stationary, but its color has animation. It’s very trippy. Regardless, Gaia is really into the Earth and is seeking a companion. Should we evolve enough, we can marry her and become a god ourselves. Praise the Son!
Gameplay consists of eating everything. This is it. Building up enough Evo points to increase your bite takes a long time, so E.V.O. is a game for grinding. Jumping is also a strategy, but that never does as much damage as eating, has a cooldown, and the timings can be wonky. Enemies also like to pounce on you. You can also evolve horns to charge, but those break pretty fast. Wasting 5000 Evo points sucks. Evolve your tail for moment boosts, and your body for more HP. There are various ways to get to max stats, and there are even a few neat tricks hidden around in secret areas to make exploring worthwhile. But the main loop is still the same, and gameplay variance won’t be high.
The music is a mixed bag. I’ve already added three songs to my Spotify playlist, but there are four songs that made me mute the TV. They’re variations of each other, so it explains how one took down the whole lot. And you’ll be hearing the awful songs way more than the good ones. They’re an era theme that’ll play in subsequent sub levels. Koichi Sugiyama, the Dragon Quest guy, did the OST, so I should expect better.
Graphics are also odd. I liked the backgrounds, and the neargrounds were detailed. Sprites were cute, but the game lacked something. Depth? Variance? It felt like there were only four or five areas to explore, and mazes were terrible to navigate.
E.V.O. Search for Eden is a fun concept. It was unique for the time (ignoring that it’s a spiritual sequel), and it’s never been emulated by a newer developer since. But the concept doesn’t hold up with repetitive gameplay, bland visuals, and a weird storyline. At the end, I was left wondering things like what that final boss was, were aliens the big boss guys, and did I just bang a planet? With the way the Son spoke to me, I like to think I did. I banged that planet hard. Also, sorry for squandering your gift, father-in-law. 31/50
What I’m trying to say is E.V.O. Search for Eden is a strange game.
You play some weird organism that can adapt on the fly to a number of external issues. You begin in the sea, bite other sea creatures to steal their essence, and then evolve into a stronger being. You grow throughout the five ages of prehistory, guiding evolution as you go. You, yourself, don’t actually get to say what lives and dies, but you block the bottlenecks that do. Tyrant sharks, plant devouring insects, and planet conquering birds lie in your path. You also orphan a yeti for some reason… None of these bosses seem to matter, as they’re just tools of something beyond. A rival, perhaps? Everything but you fights for the mysterious crystals that other organisms talk about. What guides you is the pretty naked lady with parallax hair, Gaia. I think that’s what parallax means? Her hair is stationary, but its color has animation. It’s very trippy. Regardless, Gaia is really into the Earth and is seeking a companion. Should we evolve enough, we can marry her and become a god ourselves. Praise the Son!
Gameplay consists of eating everything. This is it. Building up enough Evo points to increase your bite takes a long time, so E.V.O. is a game for grinding. Jumping is also a strategy, but that never does as much damage as eating, has a cooldown, and the timings can be wonky. Enemies also like to pounce on you. You can also evolve horns to charge, but those break pretty fast. Wasting 5000 Evo points sucks. Evolve your tail for moment boosts, and your body for more HP. There are various ways to get to max stats, and there are even a few neat tricks hidden around in secret areas to make exploring worthwhile. But the main loop is still the same, and gameplay variance won’t be high.
The music is a mixed bag. I’ve already added three songs to my Spotify playlist, but there are four songs that made me mute the TV. They’re variations of each other, so it explains how one took down the whole lot. And you’ll be hearing the awful songs way more than the good ones. They’re an era theme that’ll play in subsequent sub levels. Koichi Sugiyama, the Dragon Quest guy, did the OST, so I should expect better.
Graphics are also odd. I liked the backgrounds, and the neargrounds were detailed. Sprites were cute, but the game lacked something. Depth? Variance? It felt like there were only four or five areas to explore, and mazes were terrible to navigate.
E.V.O. Search for Eden is a fun concept. It was unique for the time (ignoring that it’s a spiritual sequel), and it’s never been emulated by a newer developer since. But the concept doesn’t hold up with repetitive gameplay, bland visuals, and a weird storyline. At the end, I was left wondering things like what that final boss was, were aliens the big boss guys, and did I just bang a planet? With the way the Son spoke to me, I like to think I did. I banged that planet hard. Also, sorry for squandering your gift, father-in-law. 31/50
Saturday, March 14, 2026
Burn out from a burn out.
Bad games’ll do that to ya.
Playing old ass JRPGs is long and tiring. Sometimes you need to do something different. This week, I played a puzzle game from my youth that I never beat, Goof Troop. I finally beat it! After that, I played a new game. ...from 1990. It was a sorta RPG that tertiaryly applied to the genre because of vibes. It’s not an RPG. This is good because it sucks.
Actraiser is not a good game.
Let’s start with the majority of the gameplay: platforming. It is unpolished and rough. It’s slow, and the jump sometimes just does things. And the way it (doesn’t) interact with the combat is maddening. Attacks are fast, but there are only two animations. You can crouch to stack snakes, but a basic sword swing is your usual move. You can’t attack up or directly down. The jumping attack works about thirty percent of the time and rarely connects, even if it goes off. The animation is too fast, so you need to be very precise… with a wonky attack. Rad. Even then, hit boxes are also weird. Maybe they’re too precise, so that’s good, but our hurt box isn’t in our favor. It’s such a clunky experience.
But that’s half the game! The other side of Actraiser is a rudimentary city builder. You guide six different locations around an area, growing them and dealing with their unique problems. They build their homes and farms with no input from you, besides a general location. There are no unique buildings for you, and they’ll never construct anything more. Your only action is knocking down obsolete homes, which they’ll replace with higher density ones. You also destroy obstacles with your god power over the weather. Ideally, guide them to the monster lairs around the map to make their home peaceful. And also give them wheat. And that’s it. Guide villagers, wait for their population to rise up, which also raises your HP, then go side scrolling hack ’n’ slashing in a dungeon. Rinse and repeat for too long.
“But why,” you ask? Because revenge. The big bad guy, Tamzra, killed you. So now you need to build up your power through faith from the villages, beat up Tamara’s friends, and then kill him. No twists, no turns, no shocks. It’s a sandwich that’s only half a piece of wheat bread.
But at least it looks pretty nice. Barebones as HFIL, but sprites are neat to look at, and spells are flashy, especially for a de jure SNES launch title. I also found the music to be… fine. I only liked one song, which is a great track, but the rest didn’t make me like the game more.
But maybe the worst part of Actraiser is that it keeps score, like an arcade game, for every dungeon. This means nothing to the overall experience, and it doesn’t even tell you your grand total. At the end, after you’ve gone through the painfully difficult boss rush, you just stand on a rock overlooking the sea. You never see your final score.
But I’ll show you mine. 20/50. Actraiser is a difficult, empty, unfun mush mash that isn’t rewarding. I get that this is pretty much a tech demo for the Super Nintendo, releasing within a month of the system’s launch. But F-Zero showed that a tech demo can be amazing. And Super Mario World showed they could be GOATs. Actraiser just sucks.
Playing old ass JRPGs is long and tiring. Sometimes you need to do something different. This week, I played a puzzle game from my youth that I never beat, Goof Troop. I finally beat it! After that, I played a new game. ...from 1990. It was a sorta RPG that tertiaryly applied to the genre because of vibes. It’s not an RPG. This is good because it sucks.
Actraiser is not a good game.
Let’s start with the majority of the gameplay: platforming. It is unpolished and rough. It’s slow, and the jump sometimes just does things. And the way it (doesn’t) interact with the combat is maddening. Attacks are fast, but there are only two animations. You can crouch to stack snakes, but a basic sword swing is your usual move. You can’t attack up or directly down. The jumping attack works about thirty percent of the time and rarely connects, even if it goes off. The animation is too fast, so you need to be very precise… with a wonky attack. Rad. Even then, hit boxes are also weird. Maybe they’re too precise, so that’s good, but our hurt box isn’t in our favor. It’s such a clunky experience.
But that’s half the game! The other side of Actraiser is a rudimentary city builder. You guide six different locations around an area, growing them and dealing with their unique problems. They build their homes and farms with no input from you, besides a general location. There are no unique buildings for you, and they’ll never construct anything more. Your only action is knocking down obsolete homes, which they’ll replace with higher density ones. You also destroy obstacles with your god power over the weather. Ideally, guide them to the monster lairs around the map to make their home peaceful. And also give them wheat. And that’s it. Guide villagers, wait for their population to rise up, which also raises your HP, then go side scrolling hack ’n’ slashing in a dungeon. Rinse and repeat for too long.
“But why,” you ask? Because revenge. The big bad guy, Tamzra, killed you. So now you need to build up your power through faith from the villages, beat up Tamara’s friends, and then kill him. No twists, no turns, no shocks. It’s a sandwich that’s only half a piece of wheat bread.
But at least it looks pretty nice. Barebones as HFIL, but sprites are neat to look at, and spells are flashy, especially for a de jure SNES launch title. I also found the music to be… fine. I only liked one song, which is a great track, but the rest didn’t make me like the game more.
But maybe the worst part of Actraiser is that it keeps score, like an arcade game, for every dungeon. This means nothing to the overall experience, and it doesn’t even tell you your grand total. At the end, after you’ve gone through the painfully difficult boss rush, you just stand on a rock overlooking the sea. You never see your final score.
But I’ll show you mine. 20/50. Actraiser is a difficult, empty, unfun mush mash that isn’t rewarding. I get that this is pretty much a tech demo for the Super Nintendo, releasing within a month of the system’s launch. But F-Zero showed that a tech demo can be amazing. And Super Mario World showed they could be GOATs. Actraiser just sucks.
Tuesday, March 10, 2026
This was a PC-88 game...
But on the Super Nintendo!
Tengai Makyō Zero is a spin off of the other Tengai Makyō games. It’s usually translated as Far East of Eden, but there’s some contention about whether that’s good. I’m probably just gonna use FEoE or Zero anyway. I don’t know anything about the rest of the franchise, other than it’s on the mythical platform of the Japanese Turbografx-16. Specifically, the CD-Rom-Rom (that’s the actual name) add on to play cutting edge disk games. It was 1988; things were weird. Usually, when these types of games are ported over, there’s some clear degradation of core game elements like graphics. Zero is not a port, but even if it were, there would be no loss of principles.
Most retro gamers know that the SNES had several types of booster chips to make certain games run better. Star Fox is probably the most famous, with Star Ocean being another commonly stated example, and there are dozens more. Zero used two of them. But were they worth it?
Yeah, kinda.
The story isn’t all that exciting. You play as Higan, a twelve-year-old boy who lives with his grandfather in a sorta post apocalypse. 100 days before the start of the game, the evil god Niniji took over the world by using a defamed emperor’s hatred against him. Now Niniji’s army rules the seven regions of the planet, destroying the natural landscape and corrupting the minds and bodies of men as each sees fit. Sadly, Higan is a silent protagonist, so he’s just kinda along for the ride. His four companions do all the heavy lifting in dialogue and get plenty of screen time because of it, but one is just kinda cookie cutter. Two of them, though, are hella rad and do something I don’t think I’ve seen done before. In fact, all the twists revolve around those two. After the army comes to Higan, as well as the herald of god’s chosen king, he must now reseal Niniji and save the world.
The story we play is guided by the creation of the world 600 years ago, when Niniji and his sister, Agni, first formed the world. That story is more interesting to me and had more riveting points that I kinda wish that was the game. But it isn’t because that was the start, and we’re at the grand finale!
It doesn’t take too many swings at forks or jaw dropping moments, but the themes took a turn and properly explained things that other of its ilk failed to do. Specifically, what true freedom from gods means. Subaru, the fairy who looks like a chipmunk, does something she isn’t supposed to do. And she does that because Subaru, like children and their parents, is not the goddess Agni. ”...For a child’s life is independent of its parents.” What really is fate or free will? It’s further expounded by there being two endings, with the decision coming after the final battle.
Gameplay mechanics make Zero stand out. The game is turn based, with speed being a vital stat, and all characters play differently. Mostly, at least. Subaru is clearly a mage with her summons and healing, but I couldn’t figure out a proper “class” for Mizuki and Tenjin. DPS/supports? Everyone has unique skills, and half of them have different ways to find them. Each character also has slightly different access to scrolls, which are Zero’s form of magic spells. Most dungeons have a gimmick to them to vary them up.
But what’s most interesting is why Zero needs a chip: to add an internal clock. There are about fifty different events that can only be experienced during certain times of the real world day/year. Yearly festivals only happen during specific months or days of the week. Shops give discounts or change their wares every twenty minutes or on weekends. Higan can have a birthday party if you play on the day you set it to and visit home. So don’t play in March! Nothing was happening, and Higan’s birthday was in February, so I chose the worst time to boot this game up. But it’s a game that might be worth coming back to. Even a few secret bosses require the correct use of time.
Some of them make me feel kinda icky, though. There’s a mini game where you can strip a geisha of her clothes. If you do this “after midnight,” she’s naked, covered only by her arms. The daytime version had a censored stamp over her. Higan can also spend time with an NPC(s) called the Looker(s) once per day, which gives off sexual connotations. Higan is twelve. This is a theme of the tea party mini game, which results in a sham marriage to seven women. Higan is twelve. I’m asexual, so I’m not big on sexy sex. I’d usually overlook it, but our main character isn’t even a teenager yet. It gives off slime. Fortunately, it is all optional and clearly stated that this is gonna be gross, so I’ll do the mental gymnastics to not deduct points.
And the graphics are the reason for another chip. It took additional hardware and seven people to compress Zero into the Famicon cartridge. There has got to be over 100 mobs in the game, and none of them are palette swaps. Absolutely zero! No two dungeons look alike. There are even animated cutscenes! They’re not too expansive, and I think Mystic Ark had better ones, but Zero’s were smoother, more colorful, and looked like they were ripped off the PC-88. Eat your heart out, Emerald Dragon! It’s the wide array of colors in Zero that stick out, even if you don’t realize the enemy variety. NPC sprites get cycled around, though, but there’s still plenty there, and they’re quite expressive.
The music is, likewise, outstanding. It seems to be of higher quality than the average SNES soundtrack, but I can’t tell for sure. Judging by the three hour YouTube video, there’s definitely more of it! A few of them kinda suck, all of which are of the joke category, but you’ll be hearing them a lot. Finding hermits to get their magic scrolls was rewarding, but also annoying because their theme is borderline mutable.
The charm follows the same path as the overall story. It has plenty of fluff but isn’t super deep. The lack of memorable NPCs being the most obvious. That’s not totally true, as the real world time allows a few to shine here or there, but unless you’re keeping track of minute details, you’re gonna forget about them. It’s a problem with the Dragon Quest exploration style of regional/monster-of-the-day subplots.
—-
Plot: too SNESy. Characters and enemies are slightly shallow, and the story isn’t particularly deep either. I also have a few questions about Higan’s dad and the fate of my two favorite characters. Fortunately, there’s just enough here to keep it from tanking. 7/10
Gameplay: there’s the depth. The use of a real world time mechanic helps differentiate playthroughs. Events and mini games you experience will be different from mine. There are even a few life simulation elements here with raising pets and Subaru’s best summon. I never got it because I didn’t play long enough, though. Lotta spells, too! The enemy design variety has its flaws, believe it or not. Most dungeons just had mobs for the sake of it, and they didn’t seem to fit the theme. I also didn’t like the limited timeframe for certain events. I don’t play during the day, so I couldn’t get one of Higan’s skills. Even then, the basis for the game is as traditional as it gets. 8/10
Music: more chips! I wish more devs had expanded their games with the chips. The soundtrack is high quality and quantity and enhances the overall experience like a Square title. It’s probably a reason Zero never made it out of Japan, though, and by 1995, the console was nearly dead. Just too expensive. Nothing stuck with me, though, and I really hated the hermit theme! 8/10
Art: the standard bearer for the console. Chrono Trigger has the best soundtrack. FFVI stands above the rest with its story. And now Tengai Makyō Zero can take a chair on the dais with its graphics. 10/10.
Charm: almost there. One, maybe three, long term NPCs prevent perfection. The penultimate region also grated on me, making the game slightly too long. It didn’t help that the random encounter frequency felt too high at times. I finished the game at level sixty three. You did not need to be at level sixty three. And you get crazy rich at the end. The unanswered questions and straightforward plot also kinda dampen the It Factor. But the world is absolutely expansive and filled with cute stuff to look at. 7/10
Far East of Eden Zero is absolutely worth playing. Just skip the gross scenes. The gameplay is polished but unremarkable, though highly enchanted by the two booster chips. The graphics alone make this a must play, and being able to showcase the true strength of the SNES is amazing. I could knock off some points, but I had fun. Tengai Makyō Zero gets 40/50 points.
Now to hope a tornado doesn’t kill me in the next twelve hours...
Tengai Makyō Zero is a spin off of the other Tengai Makyō games. It’s usually translated as Far East of Eden, but there’s some contention about whether that’s good. I’m probably just gonna use FEoE or Zero anyway. I don’t know anything about the rest of the franchise, other than it’s on the mythical platform of the Japanese Turbografx-16. Specifically, the CD-Rom-Rom (that’s the actual name) add on to play cutting edge disk games. It was 1988; things were weird. Usually, when these types of games are ported over, there’s some clear degradation of core game elements like graphics. Zero is not a port, but even if it were, there would be no loss of principles.
Most retro gamers know that the SNES had several types of booster chips to make certain games run better. Star Fox is probably the most famous, with Star Ocean being another commonly stated example, and there are dozens more. Zero used two of them. But were they worth it?
Yeah, kinda.
The story isn’t all that exciting. You play as Higan, a twelve-year-old boy who lives with his grandfather in a sorta post apocalypse. 100 days before the start of the game, the evil god Niniji took over the world by using a defamed emperor’s hatred against him. Now Niniji’s army rules the seven regions of the planet, destroying the natural landscape and corrupting the minds and bodies of men as each sees fit. Sadly, Higan is a silent protagonist, so he’s just kinda along for the ride. His four companions do all the heavy lifting in dialogue and get plenty of screen time because of it, but one is just kinda cookie cutter. Two of them, though, are hella rad and do something I don’t think I’ve seen done before. In fact, all the twists revolve around those two. After the army comes to Higan, as well as the herald of god’s chosen king, he must now reseal Niniji and save the world.
The story we play is guided by the creation of the world 600 years ago, when Niniji and his sister, Agni, first formed the world. That story is more interesting to me and had more riveting points that I kinda wish that was the game. But it isn’t because that was the start, and we’re at the grand finale!
It doesn’t take too many swings at forks or jaw dropping moments, but the themes took a turn and properly explained things that other of its ilk failed to do. Specifically, what true freedom from gods means. Subaru, the fairy who looks like a chipmunk, does something she isn’t supposed to do. And she does that because Subaru, like children and their parents, is not the goddess Agni. ”...For a child’s life is independent of its parents.” What really is fate or free will? It’s further expounded by there being two endings, with the decision coming after the final battle.
Gameplay mechanics make Zero stand out. The game is turn based, with speed being a vital stat, and all characters play differently. Mostly, at least. Subaru is clearly a mage with her summons and healing, but I couldn’t figure out a proper “class” for Mizuki and Tenjin. DPS/supports? Everyone has unique skills, and half of them have different ways to find them. Each character also has slightly different access to scrolls, which are Zero’s form of magic spells. Most dungeons have a gimmick to them to vary them up.
But what’s most interesting is why Zero needs a chip: to add an internal clock. There are about fifty different events that can only be experienced during certain times of the real world day/year. Yearly festivals only happen during specific months or days of the week. Shops give discounts or change their wares every twenty minutes or on weekends. Higan can have a birthday party if you play on the day you set it to and visit home. So don’t play in March! Nothing was happening, and Higan’s birthday was in February, so I chose the worst time to boot this game up. But it’s a game that might be worth coming back to. Even a few secret bosses require the correct use of time.
Some of them make me feel kinda icky, though. There’s a mini game where you can strip a geisha of her clothes. If you do this “after midnight,” she’s naked, covered only by her arms. The daytime version had a censored stamp over her. Higan can also spend time with an NPC(s) called the Looker(s) once per day, which gives off sexual connotations. Higan is twelve. This is a theme of the tea party mini game, which results in a sham marriage to seven women. Higan is twelve. I’m asexual, so I’m not big on sexy sex. I’d usually overlook it, but our main character isn’t even a teenager yet. It gives off slime. Fortunately, it is all optional and clearly stated that this is gonna be gross, so I’ll do the mental gymnastics to not deduct points.
And the graphics are the reason for another chip. It took additional hardware and seven people to compress Zero into the Famicon cartridge. There has got to be over 100 mobs in the game, and none of them are palette swaps. Absolutely zero! No two dungeons look alike. There are even animated cutscenes! They’re not too expansive, and I think Mystic Ark had better ones, but Zero’s were smoother, more colorful, and looked like they were ripped off the PC-88. Eat your heart out, Emerald Dragon! It’s the wide array of colors in Zero that stick out, even if you don’t realize the enemy variety. NPC sprites get cycled around, though, but there’s still plenty there, and they’re quite expressive.
The music is, likewise, outstanding. It seems to be of higher quality than the average SNES soundtrack, but I can’t tell for sure. Judging by the three hour YouTube video, there’s definitely more of it! A few of them kinda suck, all of which are of the joke category, but you’ll be hearing them a lot. Finding hermits to get their magic scrolls was rewarding, but also annoying because their theme is borderline mutable.
The charm follows the same path as the overall story. It has plenty of fluff but isn’t super deep. The lack of memorable NPCs being the most obvious. That’s not totally true, as the real world time allows a few to shine here or there, but unless you’re keeping track of minute details, you’re gonna forget about them. It’s a problem with the Dragon Quest exploration style of regional/monster-of-the-day subplots.
—-
Plot: too SNESy. Characters and enemies are slightly shallow, and the story isn’t particularly deep either. I also have a few questions about Higan’s dad and the fate of my two favorite characters. Fortunately, there’s just enough here to keep it from tanking. 7/10
Gameplay: there’s the depth. The use of a real world time mechanic helps differentiate playthroughs. Events and mini games you experience will be different from mine. There are even a few life simulation elements here with raising pets and Subaru’s best summon. I never got it because I didn’t play long enough, though. Lotta spells, too! The enemy design variety has its flaws, believe it or not. Most dungeons just had mobs for the sake of it, and they didn’t seem to fit the theme. I also didn’t like the limited timeframe for certain events. I don’t play during the day, so I couldn’t get one of Higan’s skills. Even then, the basis for the game is as traditional as it gets. 8/10
Music: more chips! I wish more devs had expanded their games with the chips. The soundtrack is high quality and quantity and enhances the overall experience like a Square title. It’s probably a reason Zero never made it out of Japan, though, and by 1995, the console was nearly dead. Just too expensive. Nothing stuck with me, though, and I really hated the hermit theme! 8/10
Art: the standard bearer for the console. Chrono Trigger has the best soundtrack. FFVI stands above the rest with its story. And now Tengai Makyō Zero can take a chair on the dais with its graphics. 10/10.
Charm: almost there. One, maybe three, long term NPCs prevent perfection. The penultimate region also grated on me, making the game slightly too long. It didn’t help that the random encounter frequency felt too high at times. I finished the game at level sixty three. You did not need to be at level sixty three. And you get crazy rich at the end. The unanswered questions and straightforward plot also kinda dampen the It Factor. But the world is absolutely expansive and filled with cute stuff to look at. 7/10
Far East of Eden Zero is absolutely worth playing. Just skip the gross scenes. The gameplay is polished but unremarkable, though highly enchanted by the two booster chips. The graphics alone make this a must play, and being able to showcase the true strength of the SNES is amazing. I could knock off some points, but I had fun. Tengai Makyō Zero gets 40/50 points.
Now to hope a tornado doesn’t kill me in the next twelve hours...
Sunday, March 1, 2026
Heed the Call to Awaken
What the HFIL did I just play?
The answer is G.O.D. Growth or Devolution: Heed the Call to Awaken. The translation was released in 2018, so I’m eight years behind the times. Shame on me. I’ve heard this game compared to Chrono Trigger because of time travel. There is no time travel in this game, so tell those people to shut up. I’ve also seen it called an Earthbound clone. That’s a bit truer, but only on the surface. It starts out very kiddie but quickly spirals into some heavy stuff. But GoD goes further and makes more sense. The goofiness remains, though, but this game goes places Earthbound didn’t. Religion, metaphysics, politics, and then there’s the gameplay. This was wild.
I like to be unhelpfully vague when discussing the story and try to avoid spoilers. That isn’t possible for GoD, so you may want to skip the plot portion of this review. I’ll mark the gameplay with #gameplay if you want to Ctrl+F away from it.
GoD starts out with the simple task of going to Grandma’s. It’s an 800 mile bike ride, so poor Gen was never going to make it. He rides north, from Tokyo to Hokkaido, on his bike, enjoying the idyllic scenery of eastern Japan. He passes through a cute farming village before taking a break at the foot of a mountain. He ends up running into some bullies, but he Gen can take them out. He continues up the mountain to take in the scenery, but accidentally falls into a hole. Inside is a talkative giant bat. Through the use of a popular soda drink, Gen manages to eke out a win over Batty, the loud and egotistical Chiroptera. But behind it was an orb inside a transparent pyramid. As anyone would, Gen touches it, and he sees things. He’s not sure what it means, but it’s time to go to Grandma’s. He finds the exit to the cave and takes one last peek at Tokyo behind him. It’s a beautiful sight, but then the world changes forever. Spaceships descend from the sky and destroy the city. Gen’s life, and the planet as a whole, is forever changed in the year 1996.
Ten years later, Gen wakes up in an army barracks with the sudden remembrance of that day. He somehow forgot it, but this amnesia plot point is so inconsequential that there’s no reason to talk about it. From here, Gen is a soldier fighting the alien invasion. But even this home is quickly raided, and he needs to seek out a new goal. Various Bless missions take him around Japan, where he finds three other people like him. In the preceding ten years, Gen discovered he had access to something similar to magic, but I’ll get to that later. But he’s not alone. A fiery American stranded in Japan keeps laying waste to aliens in Kobe. And then they find a girl who was being used as an icon to a cult on an island to the south. And finally, a spunky girl who isn’t afraid to single handedly take down ancient demons. Gen, Keith, Mina, and Ai manage to destroy the main base of operation for the aliens in Japan and decide to set out to do the same to the rest of the world. Along the way, they discover more Godstones, which are the same pyramid orbs Gen found after fighting Batty. A scientist with Bless, the military organization Gen and Keith are a part of, surmises these expand the brain’s power from thirty percent to a full 100 percent. Mainland Asia, Western Europe, Africa, Oceania, and South America all house something from an ancient civilization with a Godstone inside. This journey takes them not just through forgotten relics but through personal struggles. There are hopes and love, but also tragedy.
Every one of our five heroes is spurred on by something that happens in the game. They act heroically, albeit destructively at times, for the sake of those around them. They are active forces in this war.
Eventually, they arrive in America and learn that the Americans have agreed to peace with the aliens. While breaking up the treaty signing, the real horrors kick off. Even the strange guy who’s been stalking the group can not withstand the Great Calamity. When the team faces off against this monster, they learn who the aliens really are. They are a precursor race who lived on the planet when humans were less developed. They built the pyramids, Angkor Wat, Stonehenge, and other Godstone relic sites. And they only left because of God. It should be shortly before this when you realize all but one boss alien is named after a god in various religions. So all the ancient gods are real. And they live on the moon…
Yeah, there’s a lot of conspiracy stuff here. None of it is pointing to them being correct, but hollow earth, hollow moon, lost continents, “ten percent of the brain” myth, the meaning of god, aliens, and a flat earth are plot points. It’s actually an interesting take, and they’re well done. Sorta. It could have been deeper, but the writers chose to make the aliens nazis, so it ends up falling a tad flat. But it turns out there’s a real god, and you have to kill it! And then the real final boss is the emotions we made along the way. This was mostly enjoyable, outside of a few parts that weren’t supposed to be fun, and one really stupid plot twist.
The #gameplay is quite solid. To start off, each Godstone you find not only advances the plot, but also your character’s powers. Magic in GoD is called Psycho, and what gets learned is unique to each character. But the Godstones allow you to empower what the game calls chakras. These chakras can be equipped like materia from Final Fantasy VII and allow the users access to the chakra’s specialized magical abilities. They start off sorta useless, but the more Godstones you find, the better their skills and the more useful they’ll look. One chakra lets you avoid the random battles, while another can buff or debuff a target. There are a few that do that, actually, but the hows are different for each. There’s one that can heal status effects, and one that lets your physical attackers shine! You can also Tenchi no Uta the battles with one to talk to your enemies. You can eventually combine two of them for more access, and those two create their own passives. I liked the one that lets Keith perform two attacks a turn. Just a tad broken! You’ll have to grind those with cosmic stones, which are just AP from mobs. There’s a lot to work for in GoD, and it’s all worth it and fun!
The music is a mixed bag. Most of it is pretty good, be it action or relaxin’. But there are a handful of tracks that are just awful, three second loops that drive me mad. I had to mute the game twice, and I almost did it a third time.
There is quite a lot of asset reuse when it comes to the graphics. NPC sprites, especially, are overused. There will be a lot of green haired/brown clothed girls in 2006. Enemy art is also palette swaped a lot, and there aren’t too many unique dungeon tiles. Spell animations, though, are hella rad.
—-
Plot: almost. All the characters are fun, but they’re just too basic archetypey for me. Their worst issue is how little they change during and after the story. Keith is always a pervert, Mina is always the madonna. They’re so close to being perfect. The enemies are far behind them, though. Most of them are of the monster-a-day variety, even if they have a fun name, so no one lasts. And only one of them has a personality, but they’re also in a stupid plot twist that brings the entire story down a notch. The mid boss gets the most subpoints… 7/10
Gameplay: it’s fun. There’s a lot to mix and match with the chakra system, and the inherent uniqueness of the characters, along with the way the game keeps ya moving. It’s the lack of side quests that tries to drag this down. And the bland dungeons. 8/10
Disclaimer: There is an easy type patch out there, and I think I played that one. At no time did I ever feel threatened by a boss, and I curb stomped my way through everything past Batty. Maybe I overleveled with some accidental grinding, but this was one of the easiest games I’ve ever played.
Sound: should be better. Harlem, Angkor Wat, and the second overworld get muted. One is too many, so imagine three. 7/10
Art: RPG Maker. Spell graphics are top notch, but there’s so much reuse in the world. 8/10
Charm: solid. Despite being kinda barren, the world feels alive. It’s a rad quirk with the irreverent way the story gets told. A mailman in a ruined world is funny, and I won’t hear otherwise! NPCs feel alive, but there’s only one side quest, and it’s kinda meh. I don’t see myself ever replaying this, but at least it’s a perfect length. 7/10
Now the writing/translation needs to be discussed. I’m pretty sure the writing is a bit “lol so random XD” as a baseline. I also feel like the translation took a few liberties. Early game swearing let me notice that. I’ll never know what’s what, but I’d bet the team took that philosophy and ran away with the script, which can be either a good thing or a bad thing. Either way, it didn’t vibe with me. That isn’t my type of humor. Why are all the nurses horny, for example? It might not be a problem for you, but it was for me. It's also a tad sorta racist here or there... So there is a 1 point negative.
With all that in mind, Growth or Devolution gets 36/50. I feel like it’s better than a C-, but I also can’t argue against it. It’s definitely a good game worth playing, but it isn’t a heavy hitter. And that’s fine. Not everything needs to be/can be Chrono Trigger. But the modern setting, fun chakra system, and intricate story, which is deep, exciting, and can bring out the tears, is worth experiencing. You’ll probably score it higher than I, but don’t get your expectations too high. I’m placing it at 15 out of 34 SNES RPGs.
The answer is G.O.D. Growth or Devolution: Heed the Call to Awaken. The translation was released in 2018, so I’m eight years behind the times. Shame on me. I’ve heard this game compared to Chrono Trigger because of time travel. There is no time travel in this game, so tell those people to shut up. I’ve also seen it called an Earthbound clone. That’s a bit truer, but only on the surface. It starts out very kiddie but quickly spirals into some heavy stuff. But GoD goes further and makes more sense. The goofiness remains, though, but this game goes places Earthbound didn’t. Religion, metaphysics, politics, and then there’s the gameplay. This was wild.
I like to be unhelpfully vague when discussing the story and try to avoid spoilers. That isn’t possible for GoD, so you may want to skip the plot portion of this review. I’ll mark the gameplay with #gameplay if you want to Ctrl+F away from it.
GoD starts out with the simple task of going to Grandma’s. It’s an 800 mile bike ride, so poor Gen was never going to make it. He rides north, from Tokyo to Hokkaido, on his bike, enjoying the idyllic scenery of eastern Japan. He passes through a cute farming village before taking a break at the foot of a mountain. He ends up running into some bullies, but he Gen can take them out. He continues up the mountain to take in the scenery, but accidentally falls into a hole. Inside is a talkative giant bat. Through the use of a popular soda drink, Gen manages to eke out a win over Batty, the loud and egotistical Chiroptera. But behind it was an orb inside a transparent pyramid. As anyone would, Gen touches it, and he sees things. He’s not sure what it means, but it’s time to go to Grandma’s. He finds the exit to the cave and takes one last peek at Tokyo behind him. It’s a beautiful sight, but then the world changes forever. Spaceships descend from the sky and destroy the city. Gen’s life, and the planet as a whole, is forever changed in the year 1996.
Ten years later, Gen wakes up in an army barracks with the sudden remembrance of that day. He somehow forgot it, but this amnesia plot point is so inconsequential that there’s no reason to talk about it. From here, Gen is a soldier fighting the alien invasion. But even this home is quickly raided, and he needs to seek out a new goal. Various Bless missions take him around Japan, where he finds three other people like him. In the preceding ten years, Gen discovered he had access to something similar to magic, but I’ll get to that later. But he’s not alone. A fiery American stranded in Japan keeps laying waste to aliens in Kobe. And then they find a girl who was being used as an icon to a cult on an island to the south. And finally, a spunky girl who isn’t afraid to single handedly take down ancient demons. Gen, Keith, Mina, and Ai manage to destroy the main base of operation for the aliens in Japan and decide to set out to do the same to the rest of the world. Along the way, they discover more Godstones, which are the same pyramid orbs Gen found after fighting Batty. A scientist with Bless, the military organization Gen and Keith are a part of, surmises these expand the brain’s power from thirty percent to a full 100 percent. Mainland Asia, Western Europe, Africa, Oceania, and South America all house something from an ancient civilization with a Godstone inside. This journey takes them not just through forgotten relics but through personal struggles. There are hopes and love, but also tragedy.
Every one of our five heroes is spurred on by something that happens in the game. They act heroically, albeit destructively at times, for the sake of those around them. They are active forces in this war.
Eventually, they arrive in America and learn that the Americans have agreed to peace with the aliens. While breaking up the treaty signing, the real horrors kick off. Even the strange guy who’s been stalking the group can not withstand the Great Calamity. When the team faces off against this monster, they learn who the aliens really are. They are a precursor race who lived on the planet when humans were less developed. They built the pyramids, Angkor Wat, Stonehenge, and other Godstone relic sites. And they only left because of God. It should be shortly before this when you realize all but one boss alien is named after a god in various religions. So all the ancient gods are real. And they live on the moon…
Yeah, there’s a lot of conspiracy stuff here. None of it is pointing to them being correct, but hollow earth, hollow moon, lost continents, “ten percent of the brain” myth, the meaning of god, aliens, and a flat earth are plot points. It’s actually an interesting take, and they’re well done. Sorta. It could have been deeper, but the writers chose to make the aliens nazis, so it ends up falling a tad flat. But it turns out there’s a real god, and you have to kill it! And then the real final boss is the emotions we made along the way. This was mostly enjoyable, outside of a few parts that weren’t supposed to be fun, and one really stupid plot twist.
The #gameplay is quite solid. To start off, each Godstone you find not only advances the plot, but also your character’s powers. Magic in GoD is called Psycho, and what gets learned is unique to each character. But the Godstones allow you to empower what the game calls chakras. These chakras can be equipped like materia from Final Fantasy VII and allow the users access to the chakra’s specialized magical abilities. They start off sorta useless, but the more Godstones you find, the better their skills and the more useful they’ll look. One chakra lets you avoid the random battles, while another can buff or debuff a target. There are a few that do that, actually, but the hows are different for each. There’s one that can heal status effects, and one that lets your physical attackers shine! You can also Tenchi no Uta the battles with one to talk to your enemies. You can eventually combine two of them for more access, and those two create their own passives. I liked the one that lets Keith perform two attacks a turn. Just a tad broken! You’ll have to grind those with cosmic stones, which are just AP from mobs. There’s a lot to work for in GoD, and it’s all worth it and fun!
The music is a mixed bag. Most of it is pretty good, be it action or relaxin’. But there are a handful of tracks that are just awful, three second loops that drive me mad. I had to mute the game twice, and I almost did it a third time.
There is quite a lot of asset reuse when it comes to the graphics. NPC sprites, especially, are overused. There will be a lot of green haired/brown clothed girls in 2006. Enemy art is also palette swaped a lot, and there aren’t too many unique dungeon tiles. Spell animations, though, are hella rad.
—-
Plot: almost. All the characters are fun, but they’re just too basic archetypey for me. Their worst issue is how little they change during and after the story. Keith is always a pervert, Mina is always the madonna. They’re so close to being perfect. The enemies are far behind them, though. Most of them are of the monster-a-day variety, even if they have a fun name, so no one lasts. And only one of them has a personality, but they’re also in a stupid plot twist that brings the entire story down a notch. The mid boss gets the most subpoints… 7/10
Gameplay: it’s fun. There’s a lot to mix and match with the chakra system, and the inherent uniqueness of the characters, along with the way the game keeps ya moving. It’s the lack of side quests that tries to drag this down. And the bland dungeons. 8/10
Disclaimer: There is an easy type patch out there, and I think I played that one. At no time did I ever feel threatened by a boss, and I curb stomped my way through everything past Batty. Maybe I overleveled with some accidental grinding, but this was one of the easiest games I’ve ever played.
Sound: should be better. Harlem, Angkor Wat, and the second overworld get muted. One is too many, so imagine three. 7/10
Art: RPG Maker. Spell graphics are top notch, but there’s so much reuse in the world. 8/10
Charm: solid. Despite being kinda barren, the world feels alive. It’s a rad quirk with the irreverent way the story gets told. A mailman in a ruined world is funny, and I won’t hear otherwise! NPCs feel alive, but there’s only one side quest, and it’s kinda meh. I don’t see myself ever replaying this, but at least it’s a perfect length. 7/10
Now the writing/translation needs to be discussed. I’m pretty sure the writing is a bit “lol so random XD” as a baseline. I also feel like the translation took a few liberties. Early game swearing let me notice that. I’ll never know what’s what, but I’d bet the team took that philosophy and ran away with the script, which can be either a good thing or a bad thing. Either way, it didn’t vibe with me. That isn’t my type of humor. Why are all the nurses horny, for example? It might not be a problem for you, but it was for me. It's also a tad sorta racist here or there... So there is a 1 point negative.
With all that in mind, Growth or Devolution gets 36/50. I feel like it’s better than a C-, but I also can’t argue against it. It’s definitely a good game worth playing, but it isn’t a heavy hitter. And that’s fine. Not everything needs to be/can be Chrono Trigger. But the modern setting, fun chakra system, and intricate story, which is deep, exciting, and can bring out the tears, is worth experiencing. You’ll probably score it higher than I, but don’t get your expectations too high. I’m placing it at 15 out of 34 SNES RPGs.
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