It's me, your favorite loser/weirdo who hates himself but also has an ego so large it could only be calmed by falling in love with his superego. I moonlight as the forefront of music criticism. I listened to seventy two albums, finishing 69 of them, and here's the best.
Ten: Blackbriar - 1000 Little Deaths. Melancholic symphonic metal sung by women who want to sing opera is good.
Best song(s): Bluebeard's Chamber
Nine; Ghost - Skelatá. The only pope I recognize. FTB!
Best song(s): Peacefield, Satanized, Lachryma
Eight; Sleep Token - Even in Arcadia. I joined another cult.
Best song(s): Even in Arcadia, Emergence, Caramel
Seven: Larkin Poe - Bloom. Blues based rock is also fun.
Best song(s): Nowhere Fast
Six: Avatar - Don't Go In The Forest. Avatar just kinda does stuff, and it's usually really good.
Beat song(s): Captain Goat, Don't Go In The Forest
Five: The Lathums - Matter Does Not Define.
English rock is a strange thing. It usually sucks, but when a band masters the region specific differences from the Reds, Whites, and Blues rock, it creates something that works on so many levels. I don't know those differences, nor the levels, but since The Lathums are in my top ten, again, these fellas certainly do.
Best song(s): Long Shadows, Stellar Cast*, Until Our Bitter End*
Four: Rivers of Nihil - Rivers of Nihil.
Rivers of Nihil has been on my radar for a few years. I've liked their musicianship, but found their growls a bit too much. So they got a new singer and started using clean vocals a lot more. The changes worked, and we got this mesmerizing gift that takes us to dreamy hellscapes. This is what I'd like to do if I ever tried my hand at being a musician again.
Best song(s): Water & Time, House of Light
Three: Dax Riggs - Seven Song for Spiders.
My favorite musician released an album for the first time since 2010. It's too short, but the quality is here. Heavily distorted blues riffs about incomprehensible stories work perfectly in this mid apocalyptic world. It makes me want to drive into a swamp and just experience the vibes. And probably mosquitoes...
Best song(s): Even the Stars Fall
Two: Machine Head - Unatøned.
There are very few bands I listened to in high school that I'm still infatuated with. Machine Head is one of them. MfH hasn't lost a beat since 1994. And when they did, they found it again. I know it's cool to hate on Machine Head, but they're the best groove metal act, and they're another band I'd like my hypothetical band to sound like. Sadly, I lack the needed riffage or melodic chops to hang. Song writing, growls, vocals, vision... I know it's a Machine Head by numbers, but I don't care.
Best song(s): These Scars Won't Define Us, Bønescraper, Bleeding Me Dry
One: Marko Hietala - Roses of the Deep.
Fresh off a journey of self discovery, the Voice of Finland returned with a masterful solo album. Filled with examples of the second greatest voice I've ever heard, belting out rock anthems, ballads, blues rock, and a duet with an old friend, I keep coming back to RotD. Marko's voice is just so perfect. And the range!!! Roses From The Deep has more bangers than any other album at five.
Best song(s): Frankenstein's Wife, Left on Mars, Inpatient Zero, Roses of the Deep
---
Banger of the Year:
5: Even In Arcadia - Sleep Token
4: The Flood - Ben Caplin
3: House of Light - Rivers of Nihil
2: Water & Time - Rivers of Nihil
1: Long Shadows - The Lathums
---
Awards:
YouTube Al Gore Rhythm, for the best album YouTube blessed me with.
Mark Morton - Without the Pain
Facebook Ads work award, for proof that capitalism is successful.
Korypheus - Gilgamesh
The worst produced album that isn't black metal, for the purpose of shaming the incompetent.
Rise Against - Ricochet
Lucy's Banger of the Year, for the purpose of showcasing happy songs that are still, somehow, good.
Lovin' You - Richard Ashcroft
Tuesday, December 23, 2025
Wednesday, December 17, 2025
Over hyped
Let's go back to Lunar. And then stop.
My first foray into Lunar was nearly four years ago with, obviously, Lunar 1 on the PSP. I found the game...fine enough. There was plenty to hate, but I remember enjoying it despite the sexualization of children. I wasn't using gaming scores at the time, but my retrospective guess was 30/50. I never did seek out Alex's side stories. But, I decided to dig deeper into the franchise before I glue myself to my totally legitimate Super Nintendo Entertainment System for the next rest of my life. It's a popular franchise with not many games, so it seemed like a worthwhile thing to do. I was wrong.
What sucks about Lunar 2: Eternal Blue for the PlayStation One?
The gameplay. Combat is painfully slow. Animations take time to load, enemies lumber their way across the battlefield, and bosses have too much HP. It's just so damn boring! The one bonus is that at least the dungeons are interesting. Puzzles are nice. But it isn't just the battles. There is no run function in dungeons. You can sprint for a limited time, but its primary purpose is to poorly dodge on screen enemies. Again, it makes the game so slow. And the fact that your characters, bar one, tend to go after the enemies doesn't help make the game compelling to interact with. Otherwise, the combat is exactly the same as game one. If you liked that, you'll enjoy this.
The writing is atrocious! It's a Working Designs work, so it's filled with IRL references and blue humor. It also hasn't aged and is chalk full of insults that are horribly offensive these days. I've never cared either way for the controversial nature of Working Designs' localizations, but this was grossly over the top.
The music is not for me. It's similar to Lunar 1, so that's nice. But it's all annoyingly upbeat. Every song is peppy and irritating, and barely anything carries emotional weight or memorability.
I hated Nall in game one. I hate Ruby for the same reasons.
So does Lunar Eternal Blue do anything good? Potentially! I will not be finishing this game because the gameplay is awful, but I am curious about the story and if the characters grow at any point. Lucia is one of the more interesting characters in the entire genre. She comes to the planet as a blank slate, learns emotions, and struggles to deal with those feelings. I'm a bit sad I won't be seeing where that goes. Jean's quest is a typical redemption arc, but I'm still down. And I'm sure it's happenstance that Lucia and Jean are my stuffed animal's first and middle names, and nothing else draws my interest in them. Ranfar has connections to the villains, which is neat. The other one is the descendant of the Ausa from game one, with the opposite personality, and is an acceptable choice. Sadly, she's grating, and I hate her. Hiro is whatever. It's all foreshadowed terribly, and I (seemingly) saw the twists from a mile away. But I'm a thirty-five-year-old man with extensive knowledge of the genre, so I'm not gonna hold my sagacious power against Lunar.
The art is also an improvement. There are fewer palette swaps, so I'll shout out the art department. Dungeons, outside of caves, are all unique.
And that's it...
I'm torn. On one hand, I hate this game. I dread playing it, sigh when a battle instigates, and don't think inserting disk two will be a good idea. On the other hand, I want to know where the story goes. Do our characters learn anything? Surely, there's at least one good song!? Alas, Working Designs' offensive and out of pocket localization ruined the experience. And the gameplay killed all the fun. The two teamed up to make even cheating to speed run the game something I have no desire to do. Maybe it's another baby game, but you shouldn't be putting "bitchin'" and sex jokes in a game like that. And the risqué nature of a lot of scenes gives this old man the creeps. After playing half the game, Lunar 2 Eternal Blue gets 20/50 points.
My first foray into Lunar was nearly four years ago with, obviously, Lunar 1 on the PSP. I found the game...fine enough. There was plenty to hate, but I remember enjoying it despite the sexualization of children. I wasn't using gaming scores at the time, but my retrospective guess was 30/50. I never did seek out Alex's side stories. But, I decided to dig deeper into the franchise before I glue myself to my totally legitimate Super Nintendo Entertainment System for the next rest of my life. It's a popular franchise with not many games, so it seemed like a worthwhile thing to do. I was wrong.
What sucks about Lunar 2: Eternal Blue for the PlayStation One?
The gameplay. Combat is painfully slow. Animations take time to load, enemies lumber their way across the battlefield, and bosses have too much HP. It's just so damn boring! The one bonus is that at least the dungeons are interesting. Puzzles are nice. But it isn't just the battles. There is no run function in dungeons. You can sprint for a limited time, but its primary purpose is to poorly dodge on screen enemies. Again, it makes the game so slow. And the fact that your characters, bar one, tend to go after the enemies doesn't help make the game compelling to interact with. Otherwise, the combat is exactly the same as game one. If you liked that, you'll enjoy this.
The writing is atrocious! It's a Working Designs work, so it's filled with IRL references and blue humor. It also hasn't aged and is chalk full of insults that are horribly offensive these days. I've never cared either way for the controversial nature of Working Designs' localizations, but this was grossly over the top.
The music is not for me. It's similar to Lunar 1, so that's nice. But it's all annoyingly upbeat. Every song is peppy and irritating, and barely anything carries emotional weight or memorability.
I hated Nall in game one. I hate Ruby for the same reasons.
So does Lunar Eternal Blue do anything good? Potentially! I will not be finishing this game because the gameplay is awful, but I am curious about the story and if the characters grow at any point. Lucia is one of the more interesting characters in the entire genre. She comes to the planet as a blank slate, learns emotions, and struggles to deal with those feelings. I'm a bit sad I won't be seeing where that goes. Jean's quest is a typical redemption arc, but I'm still down. And I'm sure it's happenstance that Lucia and Jean are my stuffed animal's first and middle names, and nothing else draws my interest in them. Ranfar has connections to the villains, which is neat. The other one is the descendant of the Ausa from game one, with the opposite personality, and is an acceptable choice. Sadly, she's grating, and I hate her. Hiro is whatever. It's all foreshadowed terribly, and I (seemingly) saw the twists from a mile away. But I'm a thirty-five-year-old man with extensive knowledge of the genre, so I'm not gonna hold my sagacious power against Lunar.
The art is also an improvement. There are fewer palette swaps, so I'll shout out the art department. Dungeons, outside of caves, are all unique.
And that's it...
I'm torn. On one hand, I hate this game. I dread playing it, sigh when a battle instigates, and don't think inserting disk two will be a good idea. On the other hand, I want to know where the story goes. Do our characters learn anything? Surely, there's at least one good song!? Alas, Working Designs' offensive and out of pocket localization ruined the experience. And the gameplay killed all the fun. The two teamed up to make even cheating to speed run the game something I have no desire to do. Maybe it's another baby game, but you shouldn't be putting "bitchin'" and sex jokes in a game like that. And the risqué nature of a lot of scenes gives this old man the creeps. After playing half the game, Lunar 2 Eternal Blue gets 20/50 points.
Monday, December 8, 2025
Disappointing
It's truly heartbreaking. A Popolocrois game sucks.
A few months ago, I dove into something new, unknown, and wonderful. I learned of the Popolocrois Monogatari franchise! I instantly fell in love and wanted more. Unfortunately, I couldn't get more at the time. But it actually ended up being the perfect time. About three months ago, unknown to me, a new translation team finished their work on something. The second game of the franchise was brought to the English world! PoPoRoGue's translation was released on ROMHacking.net. I finished up Emerald Dragon, but did not rush, and quickly went into the pre/sequel to my new obsession. Oh, boy...
Let's start with the good!
It's a Popolocrois game! It looks, sounds, and (mostly) plays like what we know. Pietro is in charge, he swings his sword and learns wind and lightning stuffs on a grid, and he has to save his family. The graphics are the same, and the soundtrack would fit right in on other games. The castle and town themes are even the same for that perfect continuation.
Buuuuuttt... Now it's a rogue like, sorta, game. Dungeons aren't open now, and they're long hallways that lead to rooms of varying sizes. Mobs, treasures, and interactables are scattered around, appearing in a random fashion. They're usually locked in place, but the rooms around them shift, and the passages can get loopy. It's kinda not fun. Avoiding enemies is difficult, and traveling through old areas is tedious. Monsters want you to kill them, but early game mobs aren't worth it in the late game. The load times are faster than the actual battles, and you only gain three exp. Is it worth backtracking for the new areas that just opened up? Eventually, I said no and just finished the game, or didn't bring the needed character to their unique stuffs.
It also feels different than the other games because the fun characters we've met aren't here. Narcia can't use magic, Gami is re-re-re-building an empire, and White Knight is MIA. They're replaced by mercenaries. These mercs are irrelevant and have no obvious relation to the plot. Their initial meeting showcases some personality, as do a few skippable scenes when using their services, but they don't remark on the plot and aren't even shown during the story. They're just bodies. Boring and charmless. But they do play differently from each other, but I'm not sure how large the differences are.
The plot is a slow developing one. Pietro's dad, King Paulo, runs away. This is in response to the town and castle being teleported to another dimension. Several soldiers are sent to find the king, but they're also lost. Everyone is scared, so it's up to Pietro to save them. Along the way, the prince finds the soldiers before finding Paulo. Pietro also discovers the cause of this catastrophe and saves the world! Nothing really happens, though. There's stuff in the few towns you travel across, but the dungeons are just walls to block you, outside of five, where the bosses are. Ultimately, it wraps up nicely, and I liked it, but it was a grind to get there.
Dungeons are long, taking me over an hour to get through. So there's a lot of nothing happening. It's a very gameplay heavy game. So if you love the loop, none of my critiques will affect you.
But the dungeons are worth backtracking, though. As you progress, purple walls open up, revealing deeper paths, stronger mobs, and greater treasure. Gear, spells, and skills are all there. The rewards are flashy, unique, and better than anything you'll buy. And you can see your new friends show off. Again, if that's your loop, enjoy the rogue lite/like. Personality, I hated it.
---
Plot: fine. Pietro is as cool as ever, but the secondary characters feel less than tertiary. Villains are just good enough. 7/10
Gameplay: not my thing. Repetitive, tedious, and unfulfilling, unless you're into soft rogue likes. 7/10
Sound: PoPoLo! You've heard one, you've heard them all. 10/10
Art: see above. All dungeons are just palette swaps, and mob variety seems worse than in other games. 8/10
Charm: bummer. The world fits the franchise, and there are enough NPCs to get full points. I liked the cute signposts throughout the dungeons to aid in world building. And exploration, while boring, can be rewarding. Ultimately, I don't want to replay this, and all the negatives make the game last too long. 6/10
As expected, it's a tedious game. -5
Ya know what PoPoRoGue needs? Fast travel. You can warp back to the castle at any time, and there's a spell to get you out of the dungeon, but traveling around the world is neither easy nor fun. There are shortcuts in the dungeons once you've cleared them, but even those can sometimes be a hassle to find and use. But warping between the castle and other towns would speed up the game, hide the monotony, and make the game last longer. It could have added 9 to 10 points. But it doesn't, so PoPoRoGue gets a disappointing 33/50.
I am so sad. I am so very, very sad. But maybe this isn't just a 'me' game. It probably tickles a lot of people's fancies, but not mine. I'm glad I played it for the sake of figuring out some plot points in PoPo II, but I didn't enjoy it.
A few months ago, I dove into something new, unknown, and wonderful. I learned of the Popolocrois Monogatari franchise! I instantly fell in love and wanted more. Unfortunately, I couldn't get more at the time. But it actually ended up being the perfect time. About three months ago, unknown to me, a new translation team finished their work on something. The second game of the franchise was brought to the English world! PoPoRoGue's translation was released on ROMHacking.net. I finished up Emerald Dragon, but did not rush, and quickly went into the pre/sequel to my new obsession. Oh, boy...
Let's start with the good!
It's a Popolocrois game! It looks, sounds, and (mostly) plays like what we know. Pietro is in charge, he swings his sword and learns wind and lightning stuffs on a grid, and he has to save his family. The graphics are the same, and the soundtrack would fit right in on other games. The castle and town themes are even the same for that perfect continuation.
Buuuuuttt... Now it's a rogue like, sorta, game. Dungeons aren't open now, and they're long hallways that lead to rooms of varying sizes. Mobs, treasures, and interactables are scattered around, appearing in a random fashion. They're usually locked in place, but the rooms around them shift, and the passages can get loopy. It's kinda not fun. Avoiding enemies is difficult, and traveling through old areas is tedious. Monsters want you to kill them, but early game mobs aren't worth it in the late game. The load times are faster than the actual battles, and you only gain three exp. Is it worth backtracking for the new areas that just opened up? Eventually, I said no and just finished the game, or didn't bring the needed character to their unique stuffs.
It also feels different than the other games because the fun characters we've met aren't here. Narcia can't use magic, Gami is re-re-re-building an empire, and White Knight is MIA. They're replaced by mercenaries. These mercs are irrelevant and have no obvious relation to the plot. Their initial meeting showcases some personality, as do a few skippable scenes when using their services, but they don't remark on the plot and aren't even shown during the story. They're just bodies. Boring and charmless. But they do play differently from each other, but I'm not sure how large the differences are.
The plot is a slow developing one. Pietro's dad, King Paulo, runs away. This is in response to the town and castle being teleported to another dimension. Several soldiers are sent to find the king, but they're also lost. Everyone is scared, so it's up to Pietro to save them. Along the way, the prince finds the soldiers before finding Paulo. Pietro also discovers the cause of this catastrophe and saves the world! Nothing really happens, though. There's stuff in the few towns you travel across, but the dungeons are just walls to block you, outside of five, where the bosses are. Ultimately, it wraps up nicely, and I liked it, but it was a grind to get there.
Dungeons are long, taking me over an hour to get through. So there's a lot of nothing happening. It's a very gameplay heavy game. So if you love the loop, none of my critiques will affect you.
But the dungeons are worth backtracking, though. As you progress, purple walls open up, revealing deeper paths, stronger mobs, and greater treasure. Gear, spells, and skills are all there. The rewards are flashy, unique, and better than anything you'll buy. And you can see your new friends show off. Again, if that's your loop, enjoy the rogue lite/like. Personality, I hated it.
---
Plot: fine. Pietro is as cool as ever, but the secondary characters feel less than tertiary. Villains are just good enough. 7/10
Gameplay: not my thing. Repetitive, tedious, and unfulfilling, unless you're into soft rogue likes. 7/10
Sound: PoPoLo! You've heard one, you've heard them all. 10/10
Art: see above. All dungeons are just palette swaps, and mob variety seems worse than in other games. 8/10
Charm: bummer. The world fits the franchise, and there are enough NPCs to get full points. I liked the cute signposts throughout the dungeons to aid in world building. And exploration, while boring, can be rewarding. Ultimately, I don't want to replay this, and all the negatives make the game last too long. 6/10
As expected, it's a tedious game. -5
Ya know what PoPoRoGue needs? Fast travel. You can warp back to the castle at any time, and there's a spell to get you out of the dungeon, but traveling around the world is neither easy nor fun. There are shortcuts in the dungeons once you've cleared them, but even those can sometimes be a hassle to find and use. But warping between the castle and other towns would speed up the game, hide the monotony, and make the game last longer. It could have added 9 to 10 points. But it doesn't, so PoPoRoGue gets a disappointing 33/50.
I am so sad. I am so very, very sad. But maybe this isn't just a 'me' game. It probably tickles a lot of people's fancies, but not mine. I'm glad I played it for the sake of figuring out some plot points in PoPo II, but I didn't enjoy it.
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