No paladins, no fun!

I have saved the worst for the end, haven't I? 

So... Paladin's Quest. I'm about halfway through the game, and I am overwhelmed with boredom. The gameplay is repetitive, the story is tertiary early '90s fluff, and the characterization is nonexistent. I've seen enough. I'm done.

Which is unfortunate because there are some interesting things here. The presentation is unlike any other. The buildings look like if late stage Earthbound had a fever dream. They're wildly unique, and I want to see if there's more stuff out there. The music has also been pretty rad. Nothing's jumped out at me, but it's been solid so far. The battle system is something worth experiencing. 

The idea that casting spells requires HP instead of MP is novel. It can kill you to cast that fire spell, so you have to balance your needs against what the opponent might do and the current situation. There are no healing spells to go alongside that mechanic, but there are healing bottles to fill that role. They can be refilled at seemingly random NPCs... It makes every battle feel like a high tense situation. The problem with that is that it makes every battle feel high tense. Mobs have plenty of HP, are in high quantity, and appear frequently! Running into six to eight enemies that take three or more turns to wipe out is far from uncommon. Random world map battles don't need to feel this tough. Dungeons are quick, and towns are plentiful, so the rest of the gameplay feels like it's at breakneck speed, while the battles slow you down. It got to the point where I realized the bosses are easier than the fodder. It's a game of attrition elsewhere, while the few bosses are simply "don't die." It's backwards RPG mechanics. Whether that's a cool thing or not is up to you. 

I'm also not high on the mercenaries. There are only two main characters in Paladin's Quest, but the party can be up to four. You fill out the other two by hiring mercenaries. Most of them are unique, but none of them have personalities or a reason to hunt the bad guys. There are so many that most guides suggest switching (most of) them out as soon as you find a new one. I like getting attached to my companions, but there's always a stronger paid friend in the next town. 

Besides that, the story is pointless. You being a cause of the destruction of the world is a new one, but the rest of the game is Dragon Quest "monster of the day" style, and that type of questing doesn't work for me. All the typical '90s nonsense is here. The years between now and then are unreasonable, you're related to a god, and none of that matters. It is what it is. And what is there is difficult to follow because the devs/translators choose a random string of letters as names. It's like the Diehard episode of Rick and Morty, when Roy's daughter/Morty's understanding of Judaism is gibberish. The brain kinda shuts off at some point in Lennus.

And none of it is vibing enough with me to want to keep playing. It's tedious, and I'm not rewarded so far. Maybe it'll get better, but that's for you to find out. I know my next game in my USaga has a negative reputation, so I want to get this misery out of the way. In my estimation, Paladin's Quest, AKA Lennus, gets 21 points out of 50. I can see this being a cult classic, but I'm joining this one. 

End of the trilogy

Fortunately, it's on a high note. 

Donkey Kong Country 1 was... ya know. DKC2 was not great. The need to be different to mess up a formula ruined the fun. But Dixie Kong's Double Trouble found the middle ground, and it was fantastic! 

That being said, the characters are still generic. This isn't an RPG, so I'm the only one who cares. 6/10. 

It feels like I'm playing OG DKC but differently. Levels feel nostalgic, while still feeling new and refreshing. But it didn't forget what Kong Quest tried. Many levels still feel nonlinear, rise, or open, but you still feel like you're going the right way. The bonus rooms are more fun (albeit too long), and the collectathon aspect of the game feels rewarding. I don't know why I want DK coins, but at least finding them is easy. And even a fun and/or easy puzzle. But I do know why I needed the Bear Coins. It wasn't for the sake of it. And I felt overly rewarded for finding all the banana birds and their Simon Says mini game. Heck, even the barter system was neat! Could they have done more callbacks? Yes! Quick and simple bonus rooms, bouncy tires, minecarts - all would have been rad! Should they have? Absolutely! With such a wide range of stuff, why limit yourselves? Especially in mob variety... Upon further review, I take that back. Kiddie's team up move is used to its full potential once the entire game. And it's the first level. You don't get to break floors past then. Why even create it? Fortunately, there's a lot of other stuff going on. 9/10

The soundtrack is back to being cool, which is interesting because David Wise didn't record for this game. DKC3's OST doesn't get much love from various SNES mixtapes on YouTube (not that I'm keeping track). There is no Aquatic Ambiance or Stickerbrush here, but there are several tracks that I'd like to hear more. They could fit right in with the banger after banger that was DKC1, or improve 2. 10/10

I mentioned this with enemy variety earlier, but I feel like we only see seven mobs. Every level is filled with bees! So many bees... And there are virtually no unique mobs, but at least very few are pallet swaps. Which is weird because the first game's fake credits lasted so long because of all the mobs. Of all the things to get worse, why mon variety? There are so many to call back to. In Diddy's game, I can understand because both characters are light. But Dixie brings her Donkey Kong Jr. Jr. Jr. cousin, Kiddie, with her. He's big and can squash things, so bring back the Klumps!  Otherwise, it looks like Donkey Kong! I called it the best graphics on the SNES, and I'm sticking to it. More importantly, I didn't get a headache the last four days! 8/10

The most obvious change is the nonlinear world. This changes nothing, but I like the idea anyway! And the barter system sometimes makes previous sub worlds remain relevant. That also makes the NPCs feel more essential than ever, and the two most vital ones change as the world does. It's super rad! I started getting bored with the game just before I beat Rool, so you can't get any more of a perfect game length than this. Not sure if I'll ever replay this one, though... 9/10. 

Not enough was changed, though. I found several of the bosses to be confusing messes, more frustrating than anything. I let out a sigh of relief that I was done, and not because it was fun, too many times. The final boss, especially. -2 

All that adds up to Donkey Kong Country 3: Dixie Kong's Double Trouble gets 40 out of 50 points. Unlike the previous game, which was new but annoying, DKC3 is new but refreshing. It pops nostalgia while holding its own in the franchise. All fun and no headaches, but I still wish it felt more similar. That might be a me problem, though! 

Anyway, diversion over. Back to the grind. 

Not jiving...

I'm trying to play every American JRPG for the SNES, but I've run into a problem. Robotrek isn't fun. I haven't gotten through the first dungeon yet, and I've asked myself what I'm doing too often. When I finally reached the boss, it went poorly. I did two damage per attack. That's no fun. 

I also feel like I've already seen the extent of the combat, too, which isn't exciting to me at a base level. 

There seems to be a fair bit of mechanics here around creating robots, combining items, and equipping them to those bots, but it's just not working for me. It's slow, not streamlined, and too grindy. 

I was liking the world, and I've read the story was rad, but all that other stuff already has me frustrated and bored. I don't know if Robotrek is a bad game or just not one for me, but I'm already putting it down after four hours. I'm not going to grade it in case it's a me problem. I'm just writing this update as a public declaration that I tried the game and am moving on. 

Also, the music sucks. 

I hate questionable sequels.

Donkey Kong Country is one of the most important games to me. It was the first game I ever played, after it came bundled with my Super Nintendo in 1995. Despite that gravitas, my experience with the franchise pretty much starts and stops there. I've dabbled in playing DKC2, but I've never gotten far. It always gave me a headache. But I'm dumb, so let's give it a third try! And also do a lot of comparisons to game one!

Let's start by saying Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy Kong's Quest still gave me a headache. I eventually learned I could remove sprite layer one on the levels that harm me, which went well. The lava levels, bee levels, and any others with a filter were now safe to play. They also looked better, too! Outside of those foreground elements, the game looks exactly like Donkey Kong Country 1. And I called DKC1 the peak of the 16-bit era. The sequel somehow expands that, but it also takes a few steps back with headache inducing layers, and the busy backgrounds can accidentally hide some things. I also found myself asking, "Can I land on that?" far too often. The medical ailments were the biggest deterrent to Diddy's Quest being good, so I needed to talk about the graphics first. 5/10

No one played DKC2 for the story. Donkey Kong got kidnapped offscreen, and now Diddy, aided by his girlfriend, Dixie, must save him. That's it. And that's all described in the manual. Did and Dix have the same elements as Don and Did (from a story perspective). The villains are exactly the same, even down to who the BBG is. 6/10

The gameplay loop is also the same, but it's been vastly expanded upon. Back on Kong Island, navigating through the levels was done by running, swinging on ropes, and blasting out of randomly placed, floating barrels. Everything was horizontal, as well. The walking and barrel cannons have returned, of course, but the hows have been made better. I think half the levels are now vertical, so we'll be climbing a lot. I have mixed feelings about that, but they were still well made and interesting. And even those have variety. Sometimes it's a toxic flood that causes you to climb. Other times, it's a wall somehow. You're also blown about by the wind. Sometimes these can be very frustrating as the difficulty these new levels bring can get painfully frustrating. I nearly rage quit at the penultimate level. And the bosses, especially, are troublesome. Not only are they harder, which, in and of itself, is welcome, but they never seem to die. Seven hits is too much! There are also new animal companions, and can you guess it, they're a mixed bag. The snake is fine, albeit controls terribly, but the spider is awful. He slows the game down and makes it boring. He makes his own platforms, but you have to jump to reach them, so it's sluggish platforming. And the underlying need to collect several types of coins also rubbed me the wrong way. The bonus levels in DKC1 were just that: bonus. Now, though, they're mandatory. Dixie Kong also didn't do much for me. She replaces Donkey Kong in this game but plays vastly differently. She can use her hair to float through the air like the ostrich from game one. This is underutilized, so Dixie just feels like a worse Diddy. Gameplay is, like the graphics, one step forward, two steps back. 7/10

I didn't enjoy the music nearly as much, but I still found plenty to enjoy here. Donkey Kong got banger after banger after banger. Poor Diddy, though, got only a few crumbs. We all know about Stickerbrush Symphony, but there are only a handful of other songs I found rad. They fit the mood better, though, I'll give them that. The plot is pirate themed, and the soundtrack reflects that. Regardless... 9/10

The world doesn't feel as connected this time around either. All the levels and sub worlds had a clear path around them, and the themes were usually pretty clear. Now everything feels randomly placed. There are new NPCs, and they're...not terrible. A lot tertiary, mind you. The need to explore has been added, but making it an obligation kinda kills the fun for me somehow. I finished the game in about five hours, which is actually a good time to end it. 6/10

Sadly, there are more baffling decisions... You have to pay to save? I know the coins respawn and are abundant, but saving is sacred! And you lose those coins on a fresh load! I talked about this earlier, but the bosses have too much HP. It's more drag to this experience! -6. 


I recognize that Rare tried something new with the old formula. In many ways, it worked, but they do too much. It's more complicated, but there's also a lot more new fun! Is this game good, and I'm secretly Kranky Kong, or is it actually just unenjoyable? Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Quest gets 27 points. I didn't enjoy it, but I don't know if it's bad. Probably not good, though. 

It's definitely better.

Lufia I was a mess, but I was going to play the "sequel" even if I didn't want to. I don't know where I'm going with this, so, uh... Lufia II: Rise of the Sinistrals is the pre-sequel to Lufia 1. It came out two years after, which is crazy to think about because II is much more polished than I. 

The graphics no longer look like a premium NES game. There is also more variety in enemy sprites. They get pallet swapped regularly, but what can ya do? NPC sprites could also do with some filtering to make important ones pop more. There was one point I walked right by the most important non party member just because she looked like everyone else. Village elders just look like generic geriatrics. I got lost a few too many times for weird reasons. 6/10

There is more music variety, thankfully. You still hear cave and tower tracks too often because that's all you ever explore, but at least the interim lets you forget. There are even a few songs that might get stuck in your head. 10/10

The charm is more obvious this time around. The world feels just as good, but important NPCs are more abundant and active. But they deserved better. Sadly, the game drags at the end. There are just a few too many dungeons I was mashing attack through. There are a few side stories that I think could have been circumvented. So it still feels Dragon Questy. Though I gotta ask something. Why were the maps so different between gams? 5/10

Gameplay is also superior. It still lacks depth and variety, especially since nearly all dungeons are just a cave or a tower with a different color, but they try to add something with all the puzzle aspects. These puzzles are nice, but they're usually just there for the sake of being there. They rarely mean anything to the overall vibes of the dungeon. But they're still a welcome addition. Except for the ones that are way too hard and almost require a guide... The capsule mobsters are another interesting addition. You can find seven AI party members, each with their own moves and patterns. They're kinda like the dragons in Bahamut's Lagoon. I wasn't super wowed by them, but I did bother to max two of them, so it means something. 5/10

Most importantly, the story is more fun! The twists are more enjoyable, and the turns make you feel something our dads don't want us to feel. While getting the same results, L2's characters have more depth and memorability. The villains are just the same. The overall plot, though, didn't vibe with me. Maybe because I'm a Tia man? 5/10. 

Good news! There are zero negative points! Attacks automatically advance to another target. The final boss, while weak and pathetic, didn't feel as cheap. He probably was, though... And the encounter rate is manageable. This is because there are no random encounters in dungeons, but even the world map has it perfected. Shout out to Taito for this contribution to the genre! 

At the end of the day, Lufia II: Rise of the Sinistrals garners a 32/50, which might explain this review. 

I only sorta enjoyed L2. It's a perfectly fine game, and there's nothing offensive about it. But there's also nothing I'll remember about it, outside the heart wrenching ending. Maybe I should have played this one first and hated L1 even more? It's a solid game; perfectly respectable. Maybe it's the brain dead easy difficulty or the fact that the previous game left such a bad taste in my mouth. I did want to play every night, but I did not want to write this review. So I'll finish by saying that, despite the middling score, I think Lufia II is worth playing.